#checkinlater

I woke up and I'm feeling optimistic. I want to start doing better, i really do but with my back injury i can only do too much. I think that's what God wants for me right now tho. To step back and take a look at everything and readjust. I plan on doing just that.

Have a full day of work (10.5hrs) but at least I'm at home for today. I may ask them if i can spend the week at home just so i can rest, im scared im going to go into the office i will hurt so bad i wont be able to drive home.

Since im hime today im going to try and post a few times but we will see bc i also want to clean my floors lol.

Today I have to leave the house which I do not want to do at all. But that's ok, its going to support my habit.

I haven't really talked about this yet but I smoke way too much. Like way too much. Ive been smoking since I was like 13 or 14. I use it run away and i always have. At the time I was just in a terrible place with terrible things happening to me and I found an old friend that I knew I would be safe. We smoked out of a purple Hello Kitty bubbler, if that says anything lol. That feeling of not worrying what was happening is something I have chased on the daily ever since. Now that its legal its just so easy.

Soon I will open up more about that time in my life because it was definitely one of the wildest.

Gotta say good bye for now tho,