#checking in again

Oliver could remember recently when he couldn't tell what was real and what was not. He could remember Felicity's face floating in front of his hooded one, her eyes imploring him to hear her and to trust her.

As he sat strapped to a chair down on Level 2, reality was again wavering in and out of synch: one that tried to keep his survival instincts awake enough to squelch the drugs that were being pumped into him. The other one was of Felicity and the life that seemed out of reach above him. He focused on the latter. It was like a safety valve, a go to place where the darkness descended and illuminated the monster inside of him, laying dormant ever since Felicity came into his life. But he knew that monster well, that hard-edge killer who had once only had a single-minded focus---to eradicate evil by any means.

"DO YOU FIND SANCTUARY IN THE VIOLENCE YOU INFLICT ON OTHERS?"

The voice was persistent. It was relentless. It hammered away on his senses like an imaginary inmate chipping away at a metaphorical stone as he toiled and sweated on some kind of warped chain gang task. It almost broke through his defenses, almost picked him up and carried him away from everything he had fought and bled and danced with death over. Images of targets he had dispatched over the years in the name of saving a city flowed through his mind, mixing in and out with the one image that is always in the background when he fights the good fight. It was a light he took into his life, shining with the force of a sun. It showed him the way forward and brought him closer and closer to an eternal warmth.

It was Felicity. She was reaching out to him, loving arms taking hold of Oliver, as if her touch was the only answer in his life, the only one that made a difference. The persistent voice digging into his mind was held at bay, and Felicity's light took away its ability to make Oliver believe in its tortured truths.

The presence of the Demon kept pushing its dark agenda onto Oliver. But now it seemed muted, almost blinded by the strength of Felicity and her love for him. Oliver closed his eyes and accepted her help like taking a leap of faith...

*

...Oliver stood naked before his wife. They seemed to be appraising each other, looking past the pain and scars of their lives and into each other's eyes as if there was no suffering in the world. Felicity's scars, the ones she had earned in her crusade of taking Diaz out, were now faded shadows of her victory. She was beautiful, and Oliver felt the grace she gave his heart. She moved closer to him and their connection had finally bridged the wide gap of the pain and loneliness that kept them apart. She reached out her arms and encircled them around Oliver's waist, pulling him into her embrace as if she were taking a life-saving breath, something that had been taken from her as she stood helplessly by and let it happen. The touch of his skin quieted the demons inside her, feelings and sacrifices that molded her into a new and stronger woman. Oliver had the same epiphany as Felicity touched him. He held on to her velvet body and leaned in to touch her as well. When their skin connected, it was an explosion, two galaxies colliding to create a new kind of life, a new kind of promise. Their lips met and love was what they tasted. Oliver wrapped his arms around Felicity and her body was a warm, naked haven where he could rest and be at peace.  He reached down and cupped her ass, and Oliver was floating on those soft clouds. Felicity moved her hips to his touch, encouraging him to take her and fill her life with his sure and strong and tender thrust as he brought her the pleasure she had fought so hard for to have again. They came together and knew that it was a natural state for them. One could not work without the other. No matter what came between them, rather it be distance or harsh words or just plain and simple angst---they were two identities melded into a single force. They were strength and love tempered like a sword. It would always be a defense that no one could ever breach. Oliver carried Felicity to their bed and laid her gently down. Felicity opened herself to him as Oliver lay next to her, caressing his hands over her yearning flesh. He kissed her again and took in the nourishment of her taste. Their tongues entwined like their minds being on the same wavelength. The kiss was deep and consuming, but it was also an affirmation of the promises they kept for one another. It was foregiveness and hope and certainty. It was the past and the present and the future happening at the same time. It was their bond. And it would never be broken again...

*

...Oliver drifted further down into the chair he was strapped into on Level 2. The fantasy that filled his mind was now a weapon he could use against his tormentors. The voice that was trying to snuff out Oliver's reason and ability to keep his promises seemed to fade. 

And then it disappeared completely. He defeated another Demon and his way ahead was now locked in his mind and heart. It was beauty and grace and love that guided him as Oliver realized he was not a monster. He was a hero, and that was the real truth of his life. They tried to take that away by locking him up and throwing away the key. They tried to punish him by denying him the only thing in his life that matters.

Oliver had spent many years saving other people. Now he had finally saved himself. He had a home and a family outside Slabside's walls. It is where he belongs, and nothing is powerful enough to take that away from him again.

The cries of the dying Demon echoed in Oliver's mind as he embraced his redemption and filled his soul with love.