#chcicago

I've hesitated for a few days as to whether or not I would write a blog about my journey. I honestly didn't know if anyone would even find this interesting. But then I realized it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, it matters what I think. 

So here I am and I've decided that I want to do the Chicago Women's Half Marathon next year on June 23, 2013: http://www.womenshalfchicago.com.

This means that I have just about 7 months to train which is scary. I have no idea where to even start. I've done a bunch of 5Ks but that's about it. I always feel like 3.1 miles is so much and now I'm planning on doing 13.1...am I crazy?

The first thing that I need to work on is definitely getting the confidence. I currently feel horrible about myself. I do not like myself and I do not like the way I look. I am technically "morbidly obese" and the extra weight is really bringing me down. I am starting to notice it affects every part of my life. I never dress in cute clothes because I always feel like people will judge me and say "oh look at her she's too fat to wear that". Sometimes i go through old photos and realize how skinny I used to be...and to think that I used to think I was fat then! I believe if I lost the weight then I'd be a lot happier. So that is what part of this journey is about too.

I also have depression which is something that I don't talk about too often. Luckily exercise is a way to become happier and I have my disorder under control but sometimes it still affects my life. The doctor said that if I work out for 45 minutes a day (that's right every day--7 days a week) that I can be totally free of meds. I'm scared that I may not be able to follow through with this. I really want to though. He says I can start in the spring if I want. Any ideas if I should do it or not?

I got a packet from fleet feet (the running store) the other day and it had something interesting in it. It talked about the running groups/training programs they have and it had people's stories. I read this one story that really clicked with me. This woman didn't have many friends and then joined the "chicago chicks run at night" group and found some great friends. Fleet feet offers a 12 weeks training program for the half marathon and I think I am going to do it. I think if I had other friends with my running interest it would really help me because no one really understands my journey.