@bennettjrbrody

She didn't have anyone to meet, no friend she could talk to-, not that she didn't want one. Lale thought of calling Matty, of showing up on Aly and Drew's front door and asking Aly to get taco bell with her. But Lale wasn't sure she could hold it back if she did any of those things. Her control was hanging by a sliver of a frayed string, so she walked. She drove, and when she couldn't drive anymore, she walked. In and out of stores, window shopping baby items, and fighting the urge to cry at the sick twist of fate that had brought Devon back into their lives.

Lale didn't cry- not then. She walked from store to bakery and from bakery to a taco truck where she had a coke and a few tacos. Once the afternoon turned to night and everything closed down, Lale sat inside the twenty-four hour bar and karaoke bar and drank seltzer water and lime, wishing she could have had a couple vodka tonics to take the edge off before she had to return home.

Eventually, midnight rolled around, and Lale had left her phone on do not disturb the whole evening, and rather than check for any missed calls or texts, she returned home. Entering as quietly as possible, Lale slipped out of her shoes by the front door stumbling through the dark into the living room and knocking a family photo off the wall in the process. The shattered glass at her feet and Lale cursed under her breath, unsure if she could walk through the mess without cutting her feet.

Lale sat on the counter, a fan of paint sample cards held up to the light. A new coat of paint could cover up the history in this room. Make it something new and not the chasm that held endless girlhood trauma. She didn't want to think about the last meal she had as a whole family in here- the last time her father cooked her and her sister two different meals because they wanted it, the last time they broke their fast during Ramadan- the last time they hosted a party or felt like nothing was missing. Lale didn't want to think about that. She wanted to think about frivolous things like paint colors and whether or not green for a kitchen was too on-trend to be timeless.

Loudly sighing she lifted her gaze when Ben made his way into the kitchen, a fleeting smile crossing her features as a weight settled into the pit of her stomach. She'd spent too much time wondering about the tension she'd noticed between he and Evie, and too much time after biting her tongue, knowing asking would be like trying to squeeze blood from a rock. Instead, she fanned out the colors at him, "Green, timeless or trite trend?" She asked a warm smile, placing her hands at her sides to lean back and beacon him over with a nod of her head.

They'd left the anatomy scan a few hours ago. On impulse, Lale had kept the gender a secret wanting to find out just the two of them when they were home. Some impulsive need to create memories inside these walls that belonged only to them. She was desperate for it more than she could admit aloud. Tapping the envelope on the table, Lale smiled warmly up at her husband. Sometimes she could burry her doubts, her worries, and insecurities under the fluttering warmth and love she felt for the man she'd built a family with- those moments were her favorite, "I know it's a bit antiquated to be excited to learn the sex of a baby but I am." She admitted, her fingers brushing the envelope. "Boy or girl, I don't mind either way, but I like learning about out baby." She said, sliding it over towards him, "You open it. You should be the first to know."

The house was empty. The pleasant sounds of music filled the empty space, and the smell of fresh baked goods wrapped the home in an inviting aroma. It was picture perfect, everything Lale had wanted and longed for as a young girl, too fearful of not getting what she wanted to ask for it in the first place. Lale buried that creeping feeling with a bite of of the pie she'd made for what she had planned. Peach pie, a summer peach salad, peach salsa with home made chips and other themed arrangements all to finally tell Ben this huge thing she had been keeping from him.

Lale had told herself it was romantic, practical even- that she kept it from him out of love and affection and to give herself time to be sure the baby would stick. To be sure she didn't have to tell him of a loss when there was no need to make him suffer too. But if she had been honest she would have addressed the more deeply rooted road blocks. The things in the deepest parts of her psyche that she didn't want to address. Not even in the dark. Lale pushed the worries away, swallowed the ache in the pit of her stomach and topped the salads with the feta just as she heard the tell of Ben's arrival.

The first time she'd told him she was pregnant she had been fearful, crying for all the reasons a young girl would and in the end adamant she would do this without him if he didn't want to be a father. She'd never ask it of him, the choice was his and now- her fingers brushed over the small swell of her abdomen and she turned to meet her husband, her fingers swooping through his hair and a kiss lingering against his lips. "It's just us tonight." She lingered there a moment, wanting to take her time, to enjoy every moment of this, "You hungry? I made a few things. Tried a new recipe or two. And I know you're not big on sweets but I think I've made the best pie you'd ever taste and I made it with peaches from the market this time- I didn't nab them off someones tree tho I was tempted."