#chaserevel

The way I’ve been  phrasing it is that to have a ground up/discovery situation (which is generally the ideal situation for things,) you have to have ground. You have to establish what you need, you have to be prepared, so that you're not either worried about what you don't have or incapable of doing what you plan to do.

I've just got--like, there's so much TO the universe, and everything. There's so much to be figured out, so much to be understood, so so so much potential, and I love it. I mean, yes, it's definitely a LOT. There's a TON of things to keep track of at any given time and generally that makes me pretty exhausted, but it's a good exhaustion, because I know that it's because I'm chasing something that A. could make me more capable and B. is just FUN to think about. 

I'm having a good time. 

Like I said, I am kinda tired, and I don't know exactly how I'm gonna put together all of this writing into something more easily understandable, but the fun part is figuring it out anyway, and that's kind of the step that I'm on. Honestly, I do think I could probably take this into actual science. Like, maybe I'm the musician that also wrote a law of physics or something. I don't know.

So I guess I'm getting comfortable with letting the music be a thing in me. Giving him some control, lmao. That's a tHING! Remember though, I don't even have that control really in the long run, so letting go is the best way to get what I really want, I think. Letting go. 

Letting go. 

I feel like there's just one more thing I wanna say before I do, but I also think that maybe that's a myth I'm telling myself to keep control? If I had to say one thing, I guess it would be that, at some point, I'm gonna need to check back in on who I am, where I'm going, how I'm doing that, why I'm doing that. Remember me, re-indulge in discovery of myself. 

The way to kill that part of you. It will insinuate that you can will your way over it, because that's how the rest of your body works. But this is not your body, this is your mind.

The only way to shut that part of you up is to do exactly the opposite of what it wants. To act.

Because it will tell you not to move, just to think. It will tell you to isolate yourself and that you can't remember why you wanted to do this in the first place. But it's lying to you. It doesn't know what's good for you. It's made to be struggled with, but you should be the one winning.