#chartini

In no particular order:

The Top 5 Best Butts in APH

Spain: Spain has the best butt because he knows how to work it - outfits and shaking it. He just has... a very aesthetic butt. It’s round and grabbable and smooth-skinned, and it is a joy to watch in motion. He gets a lot of exercise of those muscles when he’s crouched down in the earth tending his garden.

India: India can shake what he’s got better than anyone, and - unlike Spain - no-one’s in doubt that he knows exactly what he’s doing when he does so. He throws in the hip-swinging and full-body movements as well, and then everyone is lost. He doesn’t feel grabbable, and doesn’t show bruises very much, but oh, is it fun to watch him stride/climb out of a bath/swimming pool.

Portugal: Portugal had a finer, firmer butt when he was sailing and horse-riding more, but he’s still got a toned ass and thighs. Not as round as Spain’s, and sometimes when you go to grab it you’re getting muscle without the jiggle. Shows handprints p. well though. This butt is most likely to be on display because Portugal refuses to buy new jeans until the denim has worn completely through.

Greece: nobody has any idea how Greece still has the body and butt he does with all the napping he does, but somehow? He does? Sleeping beauty has the marble arse of a Greek statue. Not much jiggling, but if you smack the butt it makes this fantastic echoing crack sound.

Australia: where his arse came from is anybody’s guess, but he looks very good in a wetsuit. Noticeable but not very round, put pretty muscled from an active lifestyle. A drawback to the Oz butt is that it’s at least three shades lighter in colour to the rest of Australia’s skin. Tan lines. But there are cute freckles too.

  Honourable Mentions:

England: this guy’s legs are the real appeal; his ass is flat but firm. It needs framing to stop you in your tracks though - get the dude a waistcoat and some fitted trousers and you’ll see vast improvement.

Veneziano and Romano: they have cute bubble butts, though they’ve got some work to do if they want to catch up to the fine muscled posterior of their nonno. They don’t do as much exercise, and Romano in particular definitely lazes around. They can work what they’ve got with fabulous clothes though.

America: America’s weight tends to fluctuate wildly depending on the season, stress, and latest health fads, but his terrible fashion is pretty universal. He is a man of many different butts, each with their own delights, but all of them are hidden by awful pants.

Canada: Canada plays sport more regularly than America, and so was just pipped out of the top 5 list. He’s got a lot of the same issues as his brother, because Canada will binge eat anything covered in maple syrup and wears clothes that do nothing for his assets.

Belgium: there had to be at least one lady on here? Anyway, Belgium’s pretty curvy all over. It’s more her hips than her butt that will make you drool, but she deserved the mention because sliding your hands over those fabulous hips to her butt is A++. Combo-attack is super effective.

France: the French butt is good, above average, but France really wins best overall presentation of his general everything. The butt individually does not make the list, although it shows fingerprints and scratches very well.

Turkey: Turkey has a decent butt, but it’s definitely seen better days.