#charmaineder.diary

Dear Diary,

As you can see I joined a pageant in our school. I hold my tongue not to taste the most delicious foods I see, strengthen my muscles to have the curve, I've done the procedures to have a smooth whitey underarm and even spend my time practicing other than being with my loved ones. Yes, I've done a lot for this competition and its all worth it. I've been the 1st runner up (next to champion) and I also had many awards. I'm their miss photogenic, best in casual wear, best in laboratory gown, best in talent and best in Gods and Goddesses costume. And my mom is soo proud of me. She uploads my photos on her facebook and tell everyone how proud she is. I've tried to stop her because I think she's bragging about what happened. But then I've look inside me and reflected that this is what I've always wanted. To have my parents be proud of me. Sooo, I didnt stop her. I'm happy for her. And that would be the same reaction for moms out there when their babies got this achievement right? I'm happy that I've proved to myself that I can do stuffs like these. In fact, I felt like I belong there. I dont know, maybe because I'm a cosplayer and I've used it to have THAT boost of self confidence? And also I've prayed to God for the nth time about this. That whatever might happen, I'll be happy with the results. Then He didnt failed me, I'm much much happier to this blessing. Then here's the catch, some people are tryin to bring me down. I dont know if its intentional or not.

And others are questioning why I had so many awards. They say, maybe because the president of our course is my classmate etc etc. I was about to choke them but then I imagined that if my father is in my position, he won't let this kind of people rot his day. He would simple smile and let them be because he know that its a waste of time to argue with them. I know in my heart that what had happened is part of God's plans. I've earned it for Him. I wont let this people bring me down because no one can bring Him down.