#charliemwrites

Like, hear me out. Alien species from other galaxies/planets are weird and probably more interesting, yes, but they're supposed to be. They're not physiologically analogous to Viltrumites so the novelty of Martians or Unopans is lost on them. But the convergent evolution of the human species must make it almost uncanny valley for them and the ways that we're so different and fragile yet still so fucking prosperous must be maddening.

This is discussed a lot in those "humans are space orcs" posts (which i have spent hours in) but Viltrumites being low key turned on by things we as humans dont think anything about.

Tattoos, for instance - sitting in pain for extended periods of time, all for the sake of esthetic, even paying money for it? Hello?? An open wound filled with ink? When we have so much bacteria living on our skin alone as is??? Its frivolous and yet damned if Thragg's not a little fascinated by a full thigh or back piece.

Same goes for piercings - which to them probably seems like a liability in a fight. But a hot girl or guy with a tongue piercing or an eyebrow piercing is still somehow sooooo attractive to them.

They like to really drive home how utilitarian and efficient they are, but I can just imagine their heads exploding when the only justification they receive for some strange human Thing is "because I wanted to."

Not "because it makes me stronger" or "to raise my pain tolerance" or "its for discipline" but just a little shrug and a cheerful "i felt like it" :)

Like, a non-exhaustive list of things I think would drive them wild (in good or bad ways): horror movies and true crime, lingerie, hair dye, manicures, perfume/cologne/any self care really