#character completion

((A Continuation of Repairing Relations Part 1, like before thanks for reading and enjoy, and ask questions or leave comments. That is all.))

Blaire’s focus was directly on Demetrius when he swiped the bottle from her hands. She didn’t have a second to even react. She scowled at him slightly clenching her fists.

“Give it back Demetrius…I am not drunk.” She thought on his words for a few moments and grew quiet.

“No…I did not think like that. To be honest I can barely recall what I thought at the time only that when I came to you…I had left Sybil…and was willing to do whatever I needed to get away from her and find something…someone to truly help me become something more…like I have been told countless times that I am capable of being.” She panned her gaze down. “As for why I go back to her…like an abused puppy…maybe it is because deep down…you are right. I face the abuse with Monisha yet I stay. I faced a similar in a different way with Sybil. With Isabella, too…everyone that I have tried to be with…to get help from…they are abusive people either mentally…or physically…and in their own ways. Yet I am drawn to them.” She looked to the bottle in his hands.

“I want to stop drinking…but at this point, it’s what helps keep the nightmares away…and even then, it doesn’t always work.”

Blaire moved slightly away from Demetrius around the fire.

“Take it for what it is worth Demetrius, but truly…I am sorry for what I did to you. Not even you deserved the treatment like what I gave to you by leaving.”

Demetrius only shrugged as he stepped closer to the flames, pouring the alcohol into it slowly. He watched as the fire began to rise greedily.

“Pain is how we learn. The path of pain leads to the road of growth. To not experience pain, and to be incapable of experiencing pain, is to be robbed of the potential to grow. The abuse has taught you that you have problems, and that these problems lead to more problems. And unfortunately, it took alcohol for you to voice it, but you’ve learned that you have problems. You have grown in some sense. Though it took you almost a year to do so.”

Blaire looked to her left watching the liquor get poured into the growing flames. A part of her screamed in pain as her reliance on the amber liquid had a strong hold. She fought the urge to try and rip the bottle back from his hands.

“Except all my life I have experienced pain, and growth, but have never overcame the feeling of never being a part of a family, at least on that actually gave two shits about me and didn’t want me dead…or missing. A void I still seem to have trouble filling. I guess the abuse…at least it lets me know that someone is doing something to me because they care. That is why Moni does what she does, I have seen it…as cold and heartless as she can be…there is an ounce of care for me at least. Sybil was the same way…a bit cruder…not in the same way as Moni…but Amon was at her side helping her fill that void…but they too eventually disappeared with no word. I guess I see where I get my habit of leaving people without notice…it’s been done to me so many times.”

Blaire waited again and grew quiet as she stared into the darkness of the woods, watching the eyes of the beasts blink and stare back at the small camp.

“I have felt the pain of it all Demetrius…abandonment, fear, shame, regret…yet I would expect to see more growth in myself at this point. To be honest I don’t know where my future lies. Under the thumb of Monisha…where maybe a small sense of belonging could be…or in the world not sure what the fuck I am to do with myself…who I am to be.”

She turned to face Demetrius and took a few steps towards him and laid her forehead on his shoulder trying hard to fight back the brewing tears. She stared at the ground cleaning away at her eyes with her hand.

“And even to admit…sometimes…the abuse…it…has an effect on me. Probably a pervert for thinking such things but…there is always that feeling along with the pain.”

If it wasn’t evident...the Liquor had firmly set in and the filter on the connection between her mind and her mouth was gone.

Demetrius turned his gaze to Blaire, quirking a brow at the woman as she rested her head on his shoulder wondering why once again it was like this for him. He turned back to the flames watching the last few drops empty from the bottle into the fire.

“I’ve always been aware that you are a pervert. You work with Monisha…of course you are one.” He reached over and patted her head. “Just because there is pain doesn’t mean that you will grow all the time. It is difficult. Pain is merely the path towards growth. You’re beginning to learn it seems. Good for you.”

Blaire perked a brow looking to the ground as he patted her head. She took a step back.

“I will not insult you by asking if you would be willing to take me back...I do not deserve the honor, nor do I want to risk betraying you again.” She stared into the flames. “And an honest question for you… is it so wrong that I work for Monisha? I mean I know she is…crazy…but …I have mentioned past dealings with you to her and she seemed to have not minded. She only gets really upset when she finds out I have been in talks with her mortal enemies…like Varyem…and some Holts. But in your eyes…seeing me as I am…why is it so wrong I work for her…or go back to her…aside from the mistake of choosing her over you without so much as an explanation or an attempt to still see you. Mistakes I am fully aware of.”

Demetrius focused on the face of Blaire.

“Take you back in what way exactly?”

He squinted before looking back to the flames as he dropped the glass bottle inside, allowing it to shatter amongst the rocks that created a barricade around the flame. Eventually he shrugged.

“D’Angelo thinks of herself, never her future, and never for the future of those that serve her or work with her. She holds no long-term goal. And if she does then her long-term goals are typically stupid. In retrospect, when I look back at my own time with her, even while on her council, I never really understood what we were doing. All we lived to do was serve her and be paid gold. But Honestly? She lacked gold so she couldn’t even pay me. For a time, we were mercenaries under her banner. But we still saw no gold. The things that I desired while under her? I took payment in the form of Isabella the sayaad, who was gifted to me. I still desired gold, but did I receive it? Not at all.”

His gaze stuck like glue to the flames as he recalled his past with Monisha. He shook his head.

“I was asked to teach her daughter, but what did she do? Gift her own flesh and blood to Slanzeth—I believe—one of the Endless Shadows in return for her own power back. Power that I had stated that I could teach her how to use properly. Which she denied my aid. I even sacrificed the child of my treacherous daughter to gift her with powers of the old golds; twilight. Divine Magic. A combination and fusion between light and shadow, so they say. Which was inside her. And I requested her to wait, but what did she do? Decided she wouldn’t wait. In short? D’Angelo is an idiot.”

Blaire couldn’t help but snicker.

“All truths sadly…yet I still go back to her. Things are different under Penny. People are at the least getting paid, and well too. Plans are laid out by others than Monisha. She has her sways but at least half the Order is actually a business making profits and prospering with the aid of people who actually know what they are doing. Monisha still does whatever it is she does best.” She crouched in front of the flames staring into them. “As for taking me back…in whatever ways you would see fit to allow. I do want to become stronger…better. Monisha has her guards…but many of them don’t have the silver tongue to save Monisha’s ass in a conversation that could lead to an altercation. I have gotten her out of many of those lately…well before my lapse into drunkenness. But always lessons that can be learned…like you said, IF anything more came of it…wouldn’t be up to me though. But again…I am not asking for what I do not deserve.”

Demetrius shrugged again. “I don’t see you as someone that would have an interest in joining my flock. Especially after the bombing. No offense, but you seem like someone that would rather join something bigger, and not like someone that would like to aid in the creation or growth of anything.” Demetrius focused on the face of Blaire. “I wish to develop a religion. A path for predators and fiends that join my flock.” He turned from Blaire stepping back to pick up the book on the log and hand it to her. “I do not have much now in terms of what I’ve written, though I have an introduction. Read it.”

Blaire took the book and ran her hands over the cover before opening it. Quickly looking at the contents page she got a rough idea of what the Crowpendium might be about. She flipped to the introduction and in a few moments…even though her mind was addled her knack for reading and retainment still seemed to be working. She nodded closing the cover handing it back to him.

“I see. Oddly I feel as if though I can relate…if but somewhat to those words. You are probably right, but there are things I could learn from you still. Could even be an asset if you needed an extra hand or something. If I can be honest as well…one of the reasons I left was your tree. As much as it intrigued me…what you had grown…it truly terrified me.” She looked to him now. “I hope you complete this tome Demetrius, I would sure love to read it in its fullest when you complete it. Even if I can just say it was another book to my list. Though from your introduction, I can see it will do so much more. I am not against helping build something…but I am not one for religions really. I have my deities back home, but even then, I am not devout. The offer is still there if you need help though, or want company.”

Demetrius nodded to her words as he took the tome back from her. He would set It back into its original place on the log before looking back to Blaire.

“I shall let you know when I am ready then. I will let these thoughts sit with you before returning to you. You tend to wish to change your mind. But I have no qualms with spreading my teachings to you and the lessons.”

Blaire looked back to him “Like mentioned before…you’re one of the few people I actually sense care…show it in odd ways but I feel…comfortable around you. It is why I was so eager to try and mend relations with you…I don’t have many that I can’t honestly call a friend in the least. Cannot afford to lose the ones I do have.”

Demetrius nodded and looked back to the flames. “Well, you’re more direct at least. So I suppose drinking has done some good.”

Blaire went quiet thinking on his comment before smirking “Funny I hadn’t noticed it in that way. I want to say I should drink more but I have peeved some people off as of late with the habit…and worried others.” She ran a hand through her hair thinking back on her past actions and conversations.

Demetrius tilted his head. “Drink more? I doubt that is wise, especially for you.” He stepped over and sat back on the log. “I am usually here now a day. If you wish to speak, feel free to come back. Or if you’d like the company then I’ll be here.”

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Blaire came back to reality thinking only briefly on the conversation that followed those moments. She reached down to her belt pulling off the pouch he had given her. She pulled the blade he had gifted her before she left his company from the small pocket dimension. She laid it across her lap as she sat in front of the fire. She ran her fingers across its surface still admiring the craftsmanship of it. She leaned back in her chair looking up at her ceiling for a moment then back to the now roaring fire. The heat emanating from the fireplace was comfortable at the distance she was sitting.

She looked to her left looking out into the night sky through her window listening to the sounds of the harbor and smiled “Again Demetrius thank you…for everything. For another chance. Truly something I do not deserve.”

 ((Again Blank thank you for the RP, always a pleasure and emotional experience RPing with in the best of ways. Love the character building and everything and for real, I cannot wait to see the completion of the Crowpendium.))