#char:gordon

I’m not self-shipping. I just admire Gordon Freeman. Platonically. Slash P. You know?

Nye inserts a quarter, and the game boots up.

Gordon. IfYou’reASelf-AwareVideoGameCharacterSayWhat!

Wh-

What?

-and that’s the interesting part! 

Are you following?

Not exactly, no...

man i TOTALLY get it. i love the way you explain cat in the hat lore. you should do it more often

... What?

Benrey sits on a ledge, kicking Benrey’s feet and rocking back and forth.

i totally agree with that part about the hat. why IS it so stripey? is there a reason? why red and white? is there something behind that? do you think the red represents the cat’s internalized anger? i bet it does. wouldn’t you be angry if you had to babysit for free?

is that even really the plot? it’s been so long since i’ve read it. also what the fuck are the THINGS. they’re just called things. why are they like that? i like their hair though. reminds me of uhhh einstein. you know that guy? yeah i know about him. met him. yeah. i’m superrrrrr tight with him. we’re good buddies.

but i bet YOU haven’t mean einstein. i bet you haven’t. nuh-uh. wanna know why? only cool motherfuckers meet einstein. and you’re not a cool motherfucker, you’re a cool bitch. there is a very clear difference there.

Well, hello there! Who might you be, Mr. Gordon Freeman?

I’m Gor-

So! We’re here. Uh, anything you wanna see?

I just wanna make sure you’re not gonna kick my ass like Coomer.

Nope!

I’m your bitch! Shall we get started?

Yes, we shall!

Let’s gooo.

Forzen sets down her boombox. You will not see it. There are no sprites of zem without it.

No- no, that’s a horrible idea!