#char:archivist

Age has worn away his memory like a portrait exposed to the sun; colours that were once so vibrant have become unsaturated, fragrances that were once so profound now are lingering afterthoughts, and sensations of touch are mere ghosts brushing across his skin. He can vaguely remember the taste of the sweetest of fruits on his tongue and the sounds of a hundred languages being spoken in his ears. He can imagine suns kiss and winters bite—things he once knew so well—and how beautiful the birds looked flying over the open sea.

So many moments, so many memories, lost to the passage of time.

But them. Ah, them. They are as clear as untouched waters, despite it all. Their touch on his skin is the most solid, their voice in his ear the loudest, their fragrance the strongest, and their smile. That smile is one he can never forget.

There was a time once—before the end—when it was just them and the world. Two voyagers—two fools, to be exact—following the stars and their own hearts to whatever location called to them next. For so many years he guarded his feelings close to his heart, too afraid of what he could lose to entertain what it is he could gain.

It was on a boat during a still-watered ocean night that they told him why they never left his side, and a thousand stars served as an audience to sound of a whispered 'I love you' before a kiss was robbed from his lips. He wasn't ashamed to admit he had wept; that he had dug his fingers into his hair and kissed them again. It was sloppy, it was unpracticed, it was definitely not as he planned, but it was so wonderfully them that he didn't care.

Many others followed afterwards. It was as though a barrier was broken, as though a new level of freedom was already added. They were lovers laughing at the world and throwing themselves at the sun. They snubbed reality, but it was this careless pride in themselves that allowed them to inevitably cross the wrong person. Black eyes glared and black liquid was spat in fury as a curse far worse than death was laid upon them both.

Their punishment was no end to their days. Years passed, friends died, homes were found and homes were left, and yet they never strayed from each others sides.

Even on that terrible, terrible night, when a factory leaked black and blue barriers cut through the dark; when he held his lovers face in his hands and kissed away every tear, every babbled apology for what they had done, he did not leave their side.

He sits alone now, a fading painting of a man, writing in a book to a readership of none. Looking out the window, he can see Carcosa in the distance; he can picture them there, alone in that white room, an elegy of a lover he once had.

His hand twitches, and he averts his gaze.

"We are pushing the limit." Their voice draws as a soft hum through the warm air that embraces them both. He doesn't bother opening an eye to glance up at their face; he can feel their fingers combing through his hair at a slow, rhythmic pace, letting him know that they were still with him.

His lips quirk into a slight grin. "We always push the limit, dearest. This is nothing new."

"They are catching on. Seven years is a long time to remain unchanged in appearance to humans, you know." He feels the tickle of his partners hair as they lean in and brush their lips across his forehead. "We should figure out a destination."

"Mm, did you have one in mind?" He reaches up—eyes still closed in contentment—to rest his hand on the back of their neck, holding them against him. "Germany? Russia? Belgium?"

"You pick this time. You're my Archivist, are you not? You should know the best place."

Their Archivist. He feels a rush of warm affection fill him as he finally opens his eyes. Their gaze is still covered by a veil, but he can feel the adoration behind it. He gives them a soft smile in response.

The water runs in slow rivlets as she observes, like an uinterested audience, the shards of broken glass scattered on the ground. He observes as well. They both do, in an unfamiliar silence between them.

"I know it hurts." She breaks it as she steps back, moves towards the closet and takes out a broom with practiced steps. "But you can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?" His voice is oddly detached as he sits back on the bar stool. He looks as though he carries the weight of too many worlds on his shoulders. She wants to reach out and relieve him of that burden—but it is his to carry. Instead, she sweeps up the shards that he created.

"This. Allowing your frustrations to get to you. I know you're better than that. They know you're better than that."

"Do they?" Now he sounds angry as he sits up straight. "Or have they reckoned I abandoned them by now? It's been years since they heard from me directly. They don't love me—and I can't love myself for that fact."

Hierophant. The name sits heavy in her mind as she dumps the shards into the garbage. Once it's clean, she returns to her side, rests her hand on his arm. It's the same story every year—and it only grows worse.

Pariah: Don't Hurt Me — Lyric that works: [ I would brave the darkest night / To make you a promise / Oh that's some real cruel devotion ]

Vasilisia: Rabbit Hole—Lyric that works: [ Maybe not now but one day you'll regret it / Your whole life is ahead I hope you got to see it ]

Op: Hanging by a Thread—Lyric that works: [ These lonesome nights were living hell before we met ]

DW: Born to Lose—Lyric that works: [ How's anyone else gonna love you, if you don't love you too? / I'll figure it out, but for the moment just use me like you do ]

Sysba: Imaginary Friends — Lyric that works: [ Give in to the fire and the fear, the liar in your ear / And you'll never be lonely again ]

Suha: Ruby with the Sharpest Lies — Lyric that works: [ You told the sharpest lies / Yeah you carved them in my skin / And when we say goodnight / I know you'll kill me with a kiss ]

Ovo/Crowes: MMC — Lyric that works: [ We'd really like it if you sang a song like this / Or else you'll make me sew your mouth shut / It's such a chore to find another mannequin ]

Gasper: The Devil Inside—Lyric that works: [ Do you need the god above? / Me neither, me neither ]

Archivist & Hierophant: Used to the Darkness—Lyric that works: [ I'm just a man, I'm only flesh and bone / I can't blame it back on everything I've done ]