#chapterseventeen

The next morning I woke up early, Jared was still sleeping. I looked at the time, 8.30. I shook him gently, “wake up, come on, time to go” I said stifling a yawn. “No” he grumbled sleepily shaking his head. “Jared, you need to go back to your room, please” I urged, I hated kicking him out, but I also couldn’t face people’s reaction if they ever found out we were …. what were we? Together? No, more like just sleeping together. But it felt like more than that, I sighed.

 I avoided thinking about this too much, I tried not to think of what was going to happen when the tour was over. I looked at him again, “come on sleepy head, you have to go back to your room before anyone starts looking for you” I said softly. “I’m not going anywhere” he said in a croaky voice. I sat up and looked at him, his face was flushed and he looked like he’d been sweating. I put a hand to his cheek, he felt hot to touch. “You feel really warm are you okay?” I said getting up on my knees next to him. He turned onto his back, “my throat is sore, I feel like crap” he said barely opening his eyes. I rushed into the bathroom, wet a face cloth and brought it back putting it on his forehead. “Should I call Shannon?” I asked nervously, I’d never heard him complain of even a headache, I felt a pang of worry. He nodded. Crap, I’d have to ring from Jared’s phone, he’d know he was here with me. Fuck!! There was nothing else I could do. I grabbed his phone and with a trembling hand found his number and hit call. He answered almost immediately, “where are you? I came to your room ten minutes ago” he said. “Uh Shannon, its Charlie” I said nervously. “Charlie? Why have you got Jared’s phone? Oh … right …. Is he with you?” He said curiously. “Yes, but look he’s sick, his throat hurts and he feels hot, what should I do?” I said quickly. “Crap, okay, I’ll come up give me your room number” he said hurriedly. I gave him my room number and hung up. “He’s coming now” I said to Jared wiping his cheeks with the cloth. He nodded, drifting off to sleep again. I quickly got up and dressed. Then I paced the room waiting for him to arrive, stopping every few minutes to sit next to Jared on the bed and feel his cheeks and forehead. The heat continued to radiate off him. As I tried to feel his forehead for the tenth time, he gently swatted my hand away. “Stop it Charlie …” he grumbled cracking open an eye and frowning at me. “Sorry” I said quietly, biting my lip. He nodded, I leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips, one hand coming up to gently cup his cheek. I heard him give a soft chuckle, I leaned back and smiled but before I could speak a loud knock broke the quiet. I glanced towards the door nervously then back at Jared, his eyes had closed again. My heart picked up its pace again as I headed towards the door. “Charlie, I believe you have my brother here?” said Shannon loudly with a grin as soon as I opened the door. My eyes fell onto Emma who was standing next to him, I was beyond mortified!! “Shannon, cut it out, can we come in Charlie?” she said calmly, “of course” I said stepping back to let them in. “So I’m guessing that drink is off the cards yeah?” said Shannon with a smirk as he walked past me. My face was burning bright red, I ignored him “he’s in the bedroom” I stuttered to Emma and walked off leading the way. “Well of course, where else would he be?” said Shannon gleefully. “Give it a rest Shannon” we heard Jared’s voice, gravelly and low. “Fine fine” said Shannon with an exaggerated sigh. “I’ve called a doctor, he should be here anytime” said Emma, Jared nodded. He had sat up, his face flushed, his eyes which were usually bright, were dull and he looked exhausted. Thankfully the doctor arrived soon after and we waited patiently while he  examined him. “You’ve got a virus, nothing serious, I’ll prescribe some antibiotics and with a few days rest you should be fine” he assured him. “Well it’s lucky you guys don’t have to be anywhere until next week” said Emma frowning. “I’ll get the medication sent to you, just keep up the fluids, I’ll pop in tomorrow and see how you’re going” said the doctor as he left. “Well I’m glad it’s nothing serious, I’m out of here. I’ve got to go and change some plans” said Emma, “I’ll see you later” she bade us all goodbye and disappeared. “Well you’re lucky baby brother, you’ve got someone to play nurse with” said Shannon with a grin. I groaned inwardly, Jared shook his head, “don’t you have somewhere to be?” he said raising an eyebrow. Shannon just laughed, “yeah I do as a matter of fact, just have to get Emma to confirm if it’s still going ahead since you’re unavailable” he said. “I’m going to order some breakfast, why don’t you get up and take a shower” I said to Jared, “I thought for sure you’d be giving him a sponge bath” said Shannon, now laughing loudly. “Jesus Shannon, can you go? Please?!” I barked at him. “Fine, fine I’ll go, I’ll be back later, see how you’re going” he said to Jared with a wink and strode out of the bedroom and the door, we could hear him laughing to himself as he left. I looked at Jared with a frown, he was trying to suppress a grin. “I’m not giving you a sponge bath, get up and have a shower, you’ll feel better” I said sternly pointing to the bathroom. “Yes ma'am” he said smiling and slowly got to his feet. As soon as he stood up he started to sway a little, I quickly wrapped my arm around his waist to steady him. “You okay? Get back in bed if you feel …” I said worriedly. “Yeah I think I will” he said croakily, I grabbed the wash cloth, wet it again and walked over to put it on his forehead “Come and sit with me” he said in a soft voice, patting the bed next to him. I hopped up onto the bed and crossed my legs sitting next to him. “Thanks” he said. I shrugged, “you’re welcome, someone’s got to nurse you I guess” I said grinning. Seeing him looking helpless, instead of his normal energetic sexy self, made me feel sick. This scared me. Up until recently our ‘relationship’ had been meeting at night after the shows, screwing each other’s brains out and then pretend nothing was going on while we worked. But the last few weeks, he’d come and spend the night with me and sometimes all we’d do was eat and talk. Or lie in each other’s arms watching movies or just lie in silence, relaxing after the energy of the shows. I wasn’t looking for a relationship and I’m sure that was the furthest thing from his mind as well. I knew this was a casual tour thing. I was pretty sure he would end it the second it was over. It was just convenient having me around, that suited me fine, it’s not like I wasn’t having fun. But I couldn’t afford to let my emotions get in the way. He dragged me out of my thoughts when he grabbed my hand and tugged me towards him, pulling me against his chest. “Do you need…” I started to ask, he shushed me, “I don’t need anything, I just want you to lie here next to me” he said in a whisper. I nodded wrapping my arm around his waist. His hand trailed up and down my back and as it slowed down I knew he was falling asleep. Fuck, this was getting complicated.

Jared’s POV - God I felt like shit but having her here babying me was almost worth it. Right now I just wanted her body against mine. Somehow this soothed my aches and pains and I fell into a contended sleep.

Spencer Sleep was something that was becoming harder and harder for Spence as the days grew closer to her due date.  Finding a comfortable position was next to impossible, leaving her basically catching cat naps here and there to get her through.  Already on maternity leave, there was no alarm clock set, though she wouldn’t much need one anyways.  On this night, the bed wasn’t working for her, so she had gone to lay on the sofa instead, hoping not to keep him awake like she had been doing the last few nights.  The pregnancy was weighing on her and surely on him as well.  Her emotions were in a fit, highs and lows like nothing she had ever experienced in her life, yet was just as helpless in them as anyone else that had to deal with them; namely John.  Her hand against her stomach, now the only thing she saw when she looked down, gently passing her hand over the place his foot protruded against her stomach, a little game of feet war though she used her palm in the battle that one day would be exchanged for a little boy on the floor on his back, her the same, feet pressed to one another to fight for power.  

John While he was hardly pregnant, the man himself was not receiving as much sleep as can be expected. His mind was running a million miles a minute. Nervous, yes. Not sure how this was all going to work, yes. But excited? Excited was putting it lightly. Though he’d hate to draw comparisons between this and River, it was a completely different experience. He didn’t feel as if they were sitting on a time bomb. Like it was all going to go away once the child was born. Noticing he was in bed by himself and fairly thirsty, the man was pulling himself from the bed and bedroom. Groggily, admittedly. Running into the corner dresser, earning a few choice words as he slipped out of the bedroom into that main living area that would give way to the door of the hall that would get him to the kitchen though the walk at this period of night felt rather daunting.

Spencer Hearing John before she’d see him, there was a part of her thrilled he was awake, another that would question if she had somehow been the cause of it.  She didn’t sleep well without him, yet presently she couldn’t sleep well with him either.  She just couldn’t sleep.  As he came through the doorway, clearly on a mission to the kitchen, she decided he mustn’t have noticed she was awake there on the sofa.  A rare opportunity, but she’d steal it just the same.  Nearly opening her mouth, she decided it might scare him to death if she did and a dead husband so close to their due date was simply not the best idea.  Instead, she’d wait in the darkness of the room, pressing her hand to the baby’s foot within her, watching the figure move through to the doorway that would lead to the kitchen.  Just as his hand found the door, she lost the ability to not say something to the man, after stealing as much as she had.  “John,” she whispered, her voice quiet and raspier than normal as she had yet to use her voice that day, given it was early, but.  “I didn’t wake you, did I?”  She asked, reaching behind her to flip on the lamp on the end table.

John Hearing the whisper in the darkness, he was glancing back by the time she flickered on the light. One eye shutting in favor of protecting his eyesight as that light seemed brutal. Glancing back towards the woman and from the light, loaded question. “Nah.” he returned, she hadn’t woken him. He wasn’t sure what did but not having her in bed with him was an unsettling feeling. Yet, he wasn’t about to tell her that knowing she would inconvenience herself. Fingers scratching at the back of his neck. “I’m gonna’ grab water. You want something while I’m up?”

Spencer A tired yawn passed her lips as she heard his question, shaking her head no in response at first before the no would actually pass her lips a moment later.  “No, I’m good,” she promised, offering him an honest smile as she lifted herself to a seated position on the sofa before rising to her feet.  “Actually, there is something I need,” she added almost a moment too late, crossing the space to approach him, a mischievous look written all over her face as her hand found his, lifting to her toes to press a kiss to his lips.  Brief, yet intentionally so knowing the man had stated his desire for water already.  “Yeah, I’m good.”  Flashing him a full smile, she took a step back from him, bringing their joint hands there to where she had been playing with the baby over the last twenty minutes.  “Check this guy out though,” she urged, finding his pushes against her to grow stronger and stronger each night, further proof as to why she couldn’t sleep.  

John Still half awake as she approached him for what she wanted. Pressing his lips gently back to hers as e gave her hand a gentle squeeze, leaning into steal another kiss while she was there and waiting for it. Catching her smile as she pulled back. Hearing her speak about the baby as he glanced down, the guidance of his hand over the source of activity. “Rhysies Pieces is on the move.” he remarked honestly, already prone to speaking to him against her stomach and it seemed tonight would be no exception as he attempted to lure the movement to the surface. Wanting to be able to make out the outline of that little foot. Something that still stunned him. Not only the fact that he could feel her but the fact that he was on his way in the first place.

Spencer To go from a time when neither of them could quite come to terms with the idea there was a baby within her to now, where there was no denying the little one who made his presence known constantly, was miraculous to watch from Spencer’s perspective.  Something she hadn’t known how to swallow when it was presented to them was now something she couldn’t wait for, but she always knew she had it in her.  John, on the other hand, was taking to this far more than she would have ever expected.  As he referred to the little one with the nickname given to Spence by Jade, she had to smile, abandoning John’s hand there at her stomach as it was clearly his turn for the moment.  “Go get your water and maybe a bag of m&m’s and I’ll meet you back in the bedroom?”  She wasn’t going to be sleeping.  Rhys clearly wasn’t sleeping.  And now that John wasn’t either, she’d rejoin him in bed until a time he might fall back asleep, when she’d more than likely slip off again out of her fear of waking him.

John Nodding as she slipped in her request as the candy certainly wasn’t for him, he slipped out of the room and down the hall. He had made it a point to get a mini-fridge at somepoint yet it seemed almost like surrendering by doing this. Needing to be uncomfortable to be reminded of what he needed to do. Needing to stay hungry. Little did Spence realize that the answer to this issue was closer than expected. Grabbing a water and fishing out that bag of candy from the cabinet amongst the others for her evening cravings, he returned back to their little piece of the penthouse.

Spencer As he headed off for the kitchen, she made her way back to the bedroom where she had been up and down from for the last week or so.  Deciding perhaps the problem was it wasn’t their bed, it wasn’t their place, and yet she wouldn’t put any of that on John.  It was the pregnancy, she would claim, and truthfully much of it probably was, but there were additional issues.  But it was her fault they were there in the first place, so she couldn’t bring it up.  Her own temper had landed them here.  It was what it was and that was all there was to it.  In truth, she missed the apartment they shared for most of their first year of marriage, before it all went crazy.  Climbing into the bed, she propped the pillows against the headboard, leaning back against them as she made herself comfortable.  Hearing the door to their suite, it could be debated if her smile was for him or the candy, though she knew it was a bit of both.

John Truth be told, it could have been alot worse for the two. Having to leave the apartment had sucked but he had to be thankful for his brother and his innate sense of hospitality. He’d asked nothing from Johnny. Refusing his help and money. A mere reminder that Johnny had pulled him in and out of hotel beds while on the road for years, this was the least he could do. He’d allow it, yet always knowing that he’d be taking off sooner before later with her in tow. He just so happened to be fortunate enough that it had all come together at the right time and not a moment too soon. Returning to the bedroom, he met her smile yet knowing what that was for. Handing her the bag as he cracked open his bottle of water.

Spencer Her smile was quickly exchanged for a bite to her lower lip as the bag of m&m’s fit perfectly in her hand.  “We were made for each other,” she whispered, eyes set on John, though she’d not say if she meant him or the m&m’s Rhys seemed to constantly demand.  Watching him with his water, she tugged open the bag of candy before she’d pour out a few into her hand.  “Thank you.”  A word of appreciation for the man she truly appreciated more than she could ever make known.  A marriage that was never to be real had become every bit just that, bringing them to one of the biggest moments of their lives right around the corner.  A strong kick from the baby within had her bringing her hand against her stomach, abandoning the bag of m&m’s to her side as she brought her hand to her mouth, easing one at a time within.  “I think he’s already used to this game.  If I don’t play, he kicks.  If I don’t play longer, he kicks harder.”  Side eying John, already deciding this was the Johnny James in the child, taking no credit for there being any Reese in his tantrums.

John "Yeah, I think so." Taking that as her confession to the candy, knowing she was all about him. He nodded at her thanking him. Lips meeting the bottle as he tilted it back. Effectively draining the bottle in a few seconds flat before placing the empty bottle to the sidetable. Slipping back into bed as he heard her mention the baby landing a smile from him. "He doesn't like being ignored..." already attempting to show her how this was a trait of hers, his hand slipped over her stomach in attempt to both relieve her and feel him.

Spencer “Just like his father,” she offered, turning that one around on him, though she knew what he was doing there.  As his hand slipped against her stomach, she would slip her own away, reaching back for that bag of candy to pour a few more into her hand.  “Ya know, I was thinking… the whole house thing is still gonna take some time… so instead of bringing him back here, maybe we go home?”  Clenching her teeth together in a nervous smile, her brows lifted as she looked towards him, already prepared to hear all of the reasons they couldn’t, though every part of her wanted their lives back to normal, or at least as close to normal as they could have with a newborn baby in the midst.   “If you don’t think we can, I won’t mention it again, promise.”  She offered, attempting to soften the blow to yet another mention of just how much she wanted their own space again.

John "Just like his mother." Correcting her as they went, his brow cocked. Keeping his hand to her stomach. Palm gently rolling over her as he felt the slight tension underneath. Hearing her speak about the house situation, hearing her suggestion. Instantly met with a shake of his head. It wasn't safe. Her follow up met with that same shake of his head. A soft sigh as he leaned up only to lower himself. Face to face with her stomach. Pressing a gentle kiss to several spots of her. "We are not going back there. You will not be, anyway." Seeming as if he was speaking to the baby, he continued. "But you will be going home...if you can hold in for just a few more weeks, I'll have the perfect room for you done."

Spencer As the conversation seemed to shift to one between John and Rhys, Spencer’s hand came to the back of his head.  Fingertips through his hair as she leaned her head back against the headboard, she couldn’t argue with that.  She’d not remind him now that the due date was fast approaching, as he already knew.  Instead, she’d trust him and not bring it up again.  So much of her longed for home.  A home.  Their home.  Wherever it was, as long as it was theirs.  Releasing a deep breath, her fingertips continued against his hairline, fingertips guiding the short strands.  “You know, you’re a really good dad,” she offered, having known it to be true for quite some time, but finding in these moments, where he was bonding with his son before his son was even there, to be the most beautiful things she’d ever experienced.  “Rhys is lucky to have you,” she whispered, bringing another m&m to her lips, though she meant her statement entirely.  Her parents had tried to make her see having a child with this man would not play out in anyone’s favor, but it was these times here that showed her she was absolutely right to stand by him and always would.  

John Hearing her call him a good dad, he'd let her draw her own opinions. All he knew was that he loved that little boy. He loved the woman carrying him and he loved the other little boy too and he was in the business of doing right by his heart. As she continued, his eyes were locked to her stomach. Watching one particular rise where he pressed his lips. Muttering low and now speaking to Spence. "I put in an offer earlier today " though whether she'd realize he was now speaking to her was a debate. Still, he had pulled the trigger. It was time for them. Finally.

Spencer When John said he would have a perfect room for the baby, she had thought he meant a space there in the room they were within.  Eavesdropping on his conversation with Rhys, she heard the last thing he said, though it was quiet.  Her hand stilled at the back of his head, debating on if she should ask him what he meant there, or if she should let him continue talking his way through this.  Perhaps he was on to something else entirely.  Perhaps it wasn’t what she thought he meant there.  If there was one thing Spencer was not good at, it was keeping her mouth shut.  “John?”  She asked, drawing a breath just beyond his name as if it were all one motion.  Her hand guiding down his neck, slipping off him altogether.  “You put in an offer… an /offer/ offer…?”  Confusion laced the woman’s words as she tried to wrap her head around this.  There had been a list of finished houses and another list of unfinished ones, but that had been left in another time and place for her.  Without it being further discussed, she couldn’t be sure what he meant there, though she thought she might know.  “On a house, offer?”

John Feeling her hand leave him, that was one sure way to surprise her. The inquisitive tone of his name returned to him causing a smirk before her hand was gone and he shook his head once. Twice. "On a house." He confirmed, reaching out for his phone where he laid on his side. Finding the email account. Scrolling through his photos revealing the seemingly perfect Philadelphia row home. A corner house with a small front yard fenced off and a garage in the back. Seemingly everything she'd ask and visibly pricy.

Spencer As he confirmed the offer was on a house, her mind was instantly jumbled.  It would only become further crowded as he started scrolling through images, showing her that which he had selected as their future home, should his offer be accepted.  “John…” his name again at her lips, shocked as her eyes took in that which he presented to her.  It wasn’t what she thought he was talking about when he had mentioned a fixer upper, something they could afford, something that would take time, but could happen.  It was… perfect.  She had been more than willing to apply for loans to get the money up for the down payment when they found a home they thought would work, but the fact that he had already put in an offer meant the down payment money had to be locked in already.  “What?  This?  You… how?”  Clearly he had rendered his wife as close to speechless as she ever got, unable to tear her eyes from the phone to even meet his own as she brought her own finger to slide up to the image of the front of the home again.  “This isn’t a fixer upper,” she offered, as though he didn’t know.

John Hearing her blatant ask of how he had managed, he laid down the phone. Giving her his entire attention once again as he debated just how honest to be with her. Teeth gently at his bottom lip. "Some money came through."  The man confessed, hand slipping back over her stomach. "We'll be able to pull it off." Between that initial lump sum and the money that would be coming his way as he took a bigger place back within the Pagans, he was also resolved to take some general contracting gigs on the side should she let him.

Spencer As he laid the phone off to the side, she felt his hand there against her stomach again, claiming some money came through.  Her immediate thought was Judas, but she knew he wouldn’t take it from him.  The second, the club, but not enough to do this.  Knowing most of the time, ten percent needed to be put up front, she just couldn’t fathom where he had come into that kind of money.  Even pay offs she’d become quite accustomed to weren’t enough to do this, not in one day, not even in one month.  Drawing in a breath, she knew she had to trust him on this, but at the same time she worried if his desire to provide for them would lead them to further legal trouble as the two of them together seemed to place them in situations like that well enough without intention.  “I…” pausing there after the word, a smile took her face as she became entirely too overwhelmed with those images now burned into her head to even focus on the financials of it for the moment.  “I love it,” she whispered, her hand finding the side of his face, drawing her lips to his as she pressed a firm kiss to his lips.  “I love you.”  She managed there against his lips before she was reengaging that kiss, swept away by what he had done for their family that day.  Tears welled in her eyes as finally there was a light at the end of the tunnel, a way out of Judas’ and into their own place, a place that she already imagined would have a family of four within those walls in due time.  “I love you,” she whispered again, her kiss stained with the salt of her tears, potentially the first time John had brought her to tears of joy to this level before.

John Truth be told, the entire downpayment sum was divided into two sections. What he had received with no strings attached by a little dirty dealing with a man attempting to use money to buy his daughters freedom. The rest, a bit of left over money from a M.C. loan that was being used and invested into starting a new business. He had not quite discussed the fine details with Spence over that one either. The concept that he would be having a legit day job soon and steady income even if it did pour funds into the Pagans. He’d be able to take his clean off of the top and hopefully make so much profitable income and provide so many jobs that the club would not be able to say much about these little things he was taking even if it wasn’t excess. He’d live comfortably and collect a decent paycheck for what he was doing. Pressing his lips back to hers and again after that, tasting the saline of her tears. “Oh god, I broke my wife…” he added dramatically, not used to these happy tears she seemed to have in excess.

Spencer The tears were not uncommon for the woman at this point in the pregnancy, yet all too often they were for sadness, insecurity, or general discomfort displaced into something else. It was quite rare her tears were prompted by happiness, and yet this time they were. Hearing John tease her, a laugh broke through as the tears began to subside. "Yeah... You did it now," she returned, stealing a quick kiss to his lips before her hands were wiping away the expelled emotion. A moment later, it would remain obvious she had cried, even if the damp evidence was mostly gone. A sight she'd never allow anyone from the department to see, yet she made no attempt to hide such vulnerabilities from John. "But... How did you do it?" She asked, not doubting his ability to pull it off, as he was about the most determined person she knew, just simply curious at this point as to how.

John Hearing her agree that he had really broken her this time despite other times mentioning that it was a possibility, he kept his eyes on hers as she wiped away her tears. Hearing her question as he knew it was coming, yet he wished it did not. He tilted his head. Thumb reaching up to wipe away a bead or two of moisture that she had left behind. “I got a loan from the Pagans to cover some start-up costs for a new business. I skimmed some off the top.” he stated simply, knowing that it didn’t sound absolutely safe but Johnny had no doubt he could at least pay back that in all of a few months. “We are already working on a contract to do some roadwork with the state. A potential half a million dollars if we could pull it off…and that is legit money.”

Spencer As he spoke, there was a bit of a burning in the pit of her stomach. A Pagan loan on their house hardly sounded safe, yet she knew John wouldn't let them lose it all, but what worried her was just how much he would do to protect their family. She could have gotten a loan for them, something where death wasn't a penalty of defaulting, but as she sat with him, she wouldn't breathe a word of it. She knew he needed to take care of them. It was who he was through and through. The uneasy look seeped through her hues despite her best effort to mask it. "How soon should you hear back if they accepted?" She asked, shifting her thoughts away from the financials of it, allowing herself to feel the excitement she previously had, knowing as soon as she got back to work, she could up her own takes to get out from under that loan a little faster.

John Knowing it was hard to understand and not get nervous about, he’d have to explain that it wasn’t a typical loan. The business would be good for the money he had taken from literally its start-up costs that first day. He had the utmost confidence in this idea as he had finally gotten the M.C. to bite. Yet, little could he explain this as it was not /that/ much money. “That is maybe like 7-8 grand…” he hummed, the remaining 12 coming from a much safer choice. Killing him not to tell her this but it would be for a later day. After the baby was born. When the stress couldn’t be potentially harmful for her.

Spencer As he explained it wasn't that much money, she couldn't place it until he offered figures. "That down payment though... They only asked for 8 down?"  She knew there was no way he convinced a mortgage company to take so little down. It didn't make sense. It made her feel better that they weren't deeply indebted to the M.C. for this, but the numbers didn't match. "John... What are you not telling me?"  That uneasy feeling was only becoming stronger as he eluded to something more, not understanding why he wouldn't just come out with it. Only able to imagine it was skimmed off the club at this point, which led to scenarios she didn't want to think of should it be discovered.

John: Hearing her working things out, he exhaled low. He had not married a stupid woman by any means, it wasn’t easy to pass things over her head. To tell her, yet to not tell her. Still, he knew the information he had at present could have the ability to really, really hurt the woman. He wasn’t even sure if hurt was the word. Not to mention, he wasn’t quite sure that he had done the right thing by her by doing what he was doing. “Speeeeence…” he groaned low, rolling onto his back as he rubbed his hand over his face. “Can you just believe me when I tell you that you don’t want to know?”

Spencer As he turned to his back, she knew instantly that this wasn't good. Followed by his words, enough to take that burning sensation in the pit of her stomach to a new height. Silence now separated the two as she fought that internal battle as to push further or not. Slow, deep breaths passed her lips as she attempted to keep her cool, but it was failing her. "Just tell me one thing. Is there any chance you will be in prison orange?"  Imagining there would be nothing worse, she would ask just that one question and nothing more. If it couldn't land him in prison, she would accept what he was saying in that she didn't want to know. In truth, she wanted to know. She wanted to know where their house was coming from. She wanted to know everything, no matter how much she might not like it. But in this, her trust had to fall on him, even if her mind was running like crazy.

John "Noooo..." he immediately stated upon her question, fingers pinched at the bridge of his nose. "No. No. Not at all. Completely fuckin' legal." Sighing, as he wished it wasn't. Thinking that nearly anything better than this situation would have been the best alternative despite how illegal. There were no repercussions. No consequence. Atleast not one that he feared. Yet, it was weighing all too heavily. Maybe this was what was keeping him from sleep. A sense of guilt more because he did not want to tell her. Yet, she needed to know. "Very legal." He confessed as he glanced towards her. Fighting the urge just to hold her as he leaned over. Lips to her forehead. "I'm sorry." He stated, not for his mistakes but the mistakes of another.

Spencer Feeling that kiss to her forehead, she was in the process of just accepting his words. Accepting there would be secrets between them wasn't easy, but she knew she had to trust him. There was a weight in his words, something she easily picked up on. However this came to pass, it seemed he was not okay with it, but at least it wasn't illegal. "You know selling organs is illegal, right?"  A bit of a teasing phrase at her lips though she was lacking the tone to match it. Trying. It was all she could do in that moment. Hearing his apology, it would only strike more concern in her as she brought her hand to the side of his face. "Don't be. I love the house. I love that you did this for him, for us. I love that it's legal. You tell me it's all okay?  Then it's all okay."

John “No organs. No good ones around these parts anyway.” he reminded her, as everyone was pretty fucked up in their own right. Feeling her at the side of his face again, he heard her attempt to reason with him. To level. Yet, would it be okay? In truth? He sighed, a nod of his head. Letting her have this one until a different thought floated to his mind all together. The birth, the delivery. Who would be present or who was she atleast inviting? Eyes flickering up to meet hers. “Are you invitin’ anyone from your family to be in the room with you?”

Spencer A weak smile found her lips as he mentioned there being no good ones around. He was probably right. As he shifted the conversation, it had been one of many things she thought of during those sleepless nights. "In a perfect world?  You and my mom."  If it were so easy. "I'm actually going to talk to her over the next few days. Was thinking if I stopped by?  Maybe she won't be able to refuse?  See if maybe you guys could share a bit of air that day?"  Every statement was offered as a question as she truly needed to talk to him about it before she could even consider speaking to her mother. "What do you think...?  My mom's not so bad. It's my father more than her," she offered truthfully, praying her wanting both John and her mom wouldn't sit wrong with John. "But if you'd rather me not, I won't." She seemed to promise as it was his place at her side before anyone else's.

John As she continued, confirming what he had been thinking. He shook his head at the suggestion of him not wanting that. He did want that. He wanted her to have her mother’s comfort. Even if he did not have the same relationship with his own mother, he understood that others could and did. Yet, mention of her father had sent him on another mental loop. Did her mother know? Was it their joint plan? Granted, the plans had never been mentioned from them both. Merely him. Maybe even she did not know as the man did not seem to keep his wife in the know. “No, I think your mother should be there.”

Spencer With his simple agreement, the smile to her face brightened to a level only comparable to that which he gave her with the shock of the house. "Thank you," she whispered, moved by his agreement. "Maybe dad can bite his tongue enough to come in after, meet his grandson... It could take some work, but it's been months now since I've seen him. October? Maybe when he feels Rhys, the mighty, here... He might win him over," she added, thinking if anything could show her father that John was a good man and husband would be to see him as a father. "You think we should try to get River?  Not for in the room during... But maybe see if they would bring him by later in the day?"  Spencer's relationship to River's grandmother had afforded them frequent access, though she needed to see if that was something John wanted, knowing how hard the goodbye was on him.

John And there it was, mention of his father. The man didn’t want to be around and that was quite fine with him because even if he did decide one day, magically, that it was okay, John was not okay. He didn’t want him around his son. He didn’t trust the man. He didn’t trust grandparents in general with their “know best” attitude. He might not have been the best man for the job, but he’d be damned if worse men had not raised children. He wanted this one. Not that he ever did not want River but he’d go to the grave fighting for this one. There would be no repeat of last time. “Unless this kid comes out looking like you, acting like you…with none of my blood, he ain’t gonna’ win him over.” the man reminded her. With his last name, his blood, there was no winning. His son wouldn’t experience that rejection on the first day of his life. As he mentioned River, he had to shrug his shoulders. “I don’t know. I doubt they’d just give him to me and you are gonna’ be a little busy, needless to say…”

Spencer John was probably right about her father, but it wouldn't stop the determined woman before him from trying. She knew her father. She knew he loved her. She knew he couldn't turn from his only grandchild. She would show John and try to fix this. As he continued about River, it was true. The trust there had been put in Spencer, but perhaps it could still work. "Maybe if we didn't ask his grandmother to drop him off?  Just bring him by for a short time so he could meet his brother?"  A soft shrug met her shoulders as she was trying to juggle very sensitive situations just moments after being told she didn't need to know where the house was coming from.

John “I think it is always worth the try.” the man concluded, what was the worse that could happen? He was denied? There was still a chance that he would get a ‘yes.’ Maybe that yes would lead to more. Maybe that yes would show that he was capable of this. Granted, they’d give every victory to Spencer. Her teaching him things, restraining him. If only they knew that in truth it was he who wore the pants in all of this, he’d let them think that for their sake. What Spence got was never something Johnny wasn’t capable of with a little comfort and stability in his life.

Spencer The possibility of a yes was always enough for Spencer to try. Only once could she recall being denied and even that had been some time ago. Her fingertips brushed softly against his face as she nodded her head in agreement. "Then we'll ask," she offered, already able to picture it within her mind. The four of them, the way it would hopefully soon be full time. "When can I see the house?" She asked, drawing a deep breath as that nagging feeling was still prevalent that he was keeping something from her, hoping she could find some way to convince him that whatever it was, it would be alright. Her only fear being him finding legal trouble as she was not on the inside at this time, nor would she be for at least two months to come.

John Hearing her ask to see the house, he watched her and tilted his own head. “Hopefully after my offer gets accepted?” he asked honestly, knowing how hard it was to keep her from this but he knew any additional stress was bad for business. Bad for her, bad for the baby. Hand still sweeping over her stomach as he glanced down. “Think he finally went to sleep?” he asked, a low whisper as if he could hear him and be woken up.

Spencer The whisper at his lips had a smile to her face for both the idea of the offer being accepted as well as Rhys falling asleep. A part of her so accustomed to speaking of him that he felt real, another part of her unable to wait to see him, hold him, kiss him. "I think so..." She offered, having not felt anything from him in some time there. "Just think, after he's born, when he sleeps, we won't feel like we have to do this whole sit super still so he won't wake."  Her mind drifting to places it had been a long time since they truly visited. Times of alcohol and hand cuffs. Times where her trust in him was tested. Just the thought of it threatened her temptation, evident in the bite against her lower lip.  "So, what if we invite my parents here to talk...?  Maybe we both sit with them, have dinner, tell them about the house, and then see if they will come to the hospital?  Maybe if we tried together?"

John Hearing her agree that he might have finally fallen asleep, he kept his hand over his stomach. As she mentioned after he was born, he nodded. “It is kind of funny…they are completely self sufficient in there but as soon as they come out, you are gonna’ wish he was back in.” he teased, having enough experience with newborns to be able to tell her that it was an occasionally rough experience. Yet, this time around, both of them would be sober and there would be no attempts to run out on him to get high and leave him with the kid. Something nerve wracking for any first time parent. Hearing her mention her parents once more, he met her eyes. “Just your mother.” he decided aloud, her father was not worthy of her affections.

Spencer Spencer truly had no idea just what life would be like once Rhys was born. She was an only child with no point of reference. What she knew of infants were sad stories usually involving her making a call to dcfs on the child's behalf. She could breathe easy at least knowing Rhys would never need such intervention. As he stated just her mother, she released a heavy breath. She hadn't seen or heard from the man since October and hoped he would be there, at least for a moment to meet Rhys. "Are you going to let him ever meet Rhys?" She managed the question narrowly as her voice cracked beneath the weight of it. Her hand slipped into John's, thumb grazing softly against his. "If he sees you taking care of us, he will lose his stance on everything. If he got to know you, I know him. He will come around."

John "I will not trust him with Rhys." He concluded, being completely honest with her as she went on. Free hand passing over the side of her face. Lips tightening. She wanted so hard to see the best in this man. He shook his head in disagreement. "He doesn't want to get to know me, Spence. He doesn't want me around. He doesn't want a grandkid with my last name. The only way he could tolerate it was if I was gone entirely." He added, knowing that this was hardly speculation. He had heard it from his own lips. "Only men can raise children that the law system doesn't have to." He added, a very specific, leaked quote. The man had nearly opened with such when the offer was made and he could imagine it had been quite the staple in that household.

Spencer At first, she felt she could argue every word as the fact John didn’t know her father.  He would come around, it would just take time.  Maybe it was time Spencer showed her who she was with before, who she was engaged to marry.  Maybe then he might understand that her father was caught off guard by this.  But as the words came forth, a quote she knew well from her father, her hand within his stilled.  No longer did she stroke her finger against his.  She knew that quote well.  “My father said that to you at the hospital that day?” she asked, having thought she was present for the entire altercation only to now wonder if she had missed something.  Turning her head to meet his eyes, completely serious with no taste of teasing in her.  “When did my father say that to you?”  More than ready to call the man right then and there, to stand up for John and for Rhys.  Her heart rate was already quickening as her blood pressure was rising.

John The woman would need to be quite brave to explain to John who she was engaged to previous. It would open Pandora's box and she was not ready to see him go there. At his most insecure, his absolute lowest. He'd make her jealousy look amateur in comparison. Thinking not much of it until she spoke and he realized he had unintentionally shot himself in the foot. The quote had stuck with him, the phasing. Maybe he was right. Meeting her eyes, he wasn't quite sure how to respond yet the mere look on his face showed that something had happened more than she realized.

Spencer As he met her eyes, she knew instantly this had not been months before in the hospital when he had originally fought with her father.  It was something more recent.  It was a private conversation between he and Brock, to which Spencer had not been involved in.  Drawing in another deep breath, she could feel the emotion welling at her eyes once more, only this time not out of joy.  “What happened, John…?  He tracked you down?  What did he say?”  She couldn’t place when this had happened, but she’d already decided in this that her father was to blame for it.  She knew if she spoke to him, things might have worked out, but putting together the oil and water that was John and Brock without Spencer there to mediate, it was never going to pan out.  At this moment, she wasn’t mad.  No part of her felt disdain for John in the matter, though she did want to know what had happened; what was said.  A light was turned on to that which was John’s distaste for her father.  It evidently wasn’t a singular event in the hospital that day and now she felt more in the dark than ever, waiting for John to help her out with this.

John It was just at that moment, seeing the moisture welling up in the corner of her ears, that he wanted to wrap his hands around that man's neck and snap it in half. His paternal instincts were on high, be it hormonal or merely psychological. He didn't like someone making her cry. "He uh..." paused, reaching up where the back of his fingers met her cheek. "I went into work one day and got told someone was at the bar to speak to me. It was him. Didn't want to talk to him or see him but...brought him back to the office..." he began, just incase he needed to snap his neck, he didn't have any witnesses. "And he tried to negotiate the terms that would make me leave you and the baby. Had a few ideas but..." he shook his head, she got the point.

Spencer Having remained laying down, propped against the headboard this entire time, it was as John began his story that she would sit up entirely.  The room, though large, feeling too small.  Her father had come to the club and approached John.  That was enough for her to snap, but as he went on, she wasn’t sure she heard him correctly.  “Negotiate terms…?”  Her question had been longer than that, but it was at that point in time she lost the ability to draw air.  Her eyes shot to the ceiling as she attempted to focus on something, anything.  She knew Brock hated her being with John, but to negotiate him away from her, she couldn’t stomach it.  Shallow breaths taken, unable to bring in a full breath, her hand falling weak in John’s.  “What… terms…?”  It was then things would suddenly start to make more sense.  The money he didn’t want her asking about.  The house.  As words flew through her mind, it suddenly hit her this wasn’t even possible.  Her father didn’t have money.  She gave her parents money.  He was the reason she had turned dirty in the first place.  Medical bills.  Hundreds of thousands of dollars of them.  A life in Texas.  Sacrifice after sacrifice.  Closing her eyes, she felt the room begin to spin as the image of a blade entered her mind.  Each cut against her flesh to pay for the money she took, to pay for her father’s chance at life.  “Oh God,” she breathed out as she bit against her lower lip, attempting not to cry, though everything in her was ready to break something, to let that emotion forth, to grip the handle of a knife as she had the last time she felt this within her.

John Watching as she pieced it together, the man slowly pulled himself up in the bed. Leaning back against the headboard. "Hey..." he began, hearing her breath and the emotion welling forward. Hand in hers as his arm swept her and attempted to pull her between his legs. To let her back hit his stomach. To let him hold her through this. "He told me what kind of man I was and told me how this was going to go. Bribing me to soothe me and my inconvenience..." bypassing his exact words there. "So I showed him what kind of man I was. I agreed to something I wasn't ever going to do and took his money. Put it into something for us that I know will come back 10 fold." Bypassing the fact that the other half would have been achieved if he had come through on his end. Hell, they could get the other half if she played along but it was so far out of the back of his mind as he attempted to comfort her.

Spencer Feeling him draw her to his chest, she wouldn’t fight the strength of his arm, though she knew he’d not force her.  Letting him hold her, at least he couldn’t see her face as she lost the hold on those tears she had tried so hard to hold back.  “He would rather me be…” unable to get the words out beyond it, no longer were her tears hidden by the sight line he lacked as they were there in her voice.  Relenting, she leaned back into him, turning her face to the side to find his neck as she attempted to process all he had just explained.  She was sure she wasn’t supposed to take this personally, but yet it was strictly personal.  Her father would prefer her raise this baby a bastard, face a life without the man she loved, so much so that he would pay him to leave her… it was too much for her to process.  She knew he didn’t like John.  She knew he didn’t like any choice she had made since they had relocated from Dallas, but this was insane to her.  This was not the Brock Reese she was raised to love and respect, to want to emulate in her own profession.  She knew he had been unfair to John at the hospital and in the first time she had told him she had fallen for the man and married him behind their backs, but this was beyond acceptable.  “You took his money… so he thinks… he thinks you are… and that I’m… so if I invite him…”  None of her words made any sense and she knew it, but a single thought could not be completed as she drew for air.  The one and only other time she had been upset to this level had been the first night she turned to John in tears, after speaking with her father to tell him she was married.  It was evident Spencer’s dad had meant the world to her, but as of right now, she couldn’t help but feel in some way that she had been a transaction that could be bought and paid for, that her father had no faith in her or her heart for that matter, not giving two shits what she wanted or what she had given up for that man.  

John The man must not have realized how absurd his offer was. He didn't know him like he thought he did. Not like Spence did. All about the bleeding hole he had in his chest for River. How he mourned for him every single day. How he could not be bought. Feeling her pressing to his neck, his arms wound around her. Truing to keep her close yet comfortable. "No, he knows he's been dicked over by now. Been a few weeks." The man confessed, as he spoke, realizing that this just might have been why his sleep had been so interrupted. Yet, he wouldn't be as stupid to think her father wouldn't get dramatic with all of this. "But I'm going to do what he couldn't. I can't fill the gaps, Spence...but I can pay you back that money. It's yours anyway. I'll put it in your hand and you can choose what to do with it knowin' in an ass backwards sense, we wouldn't be where we are about to be without his bullshit offer."

Spencer Feeling his arms firmly around her, yet not too tight in the slightest, it would be the best thing he could do for her in that moment, though she wasn’t sure there was a such thing as comfort in this matter.  A man she had put her entire life on hold to save, to help, to get treated, had now tried to destroy hers.  She couldn’t understand it.  She knew if she could just get her father to listen and to open his eyes, he would come to love john for none could compare to how he treated her.  She knew if they just had the chance, that they may not all be one big happy family, but they could at least share the same air space from time to time for the sake of their grandchild.  She truly couldn’t blame John for what he had said now, as after the things John’s own mother had done to Spencer, she wouldn’t allow her near the child either, but this was so final.  Robbing a child of any and all grandparents because no one could see further than the end of their own noses and the one that would pay in this would be Rhys.  The tears would not stop as they had before as Spencer literally felt the pain of her heart breaking in two.  As John offered to pay her back, though she knew he was right, it was her money, she shook her head no.  She had obtained nearly every dime of it illegally.  She had paid her debt in the scars on her abdomen.  Scars she now felt as though she never should have carried.  “So how much am I worth?” She asked, a raspy whisper barely able to be heard as it was the only question she had left within her.  How much had her father tried to buy her for?  How much was she worth to the man?

John She might have obtained it illegally but it was being returned legally. She literally had no choice in the matter. It was time to recycle all the negatives into a positive. To have some closure. What she chose to do with it would be on her. Maybe a cushion, a new car for her, something for the baby, something for her, something on the house. It just had to go back into something good. Hearing her question, he shook his head. "You don't get a price tag. Ain't for sale." He stated honestly, feeling that to be a question that did more harm than good

Spencer If nothing else, she felt she deserved to know what her father deemed her worth to be.  Lifting from the place at his neck she had buried herself until now, she turned slightly, saturated eyes meeting his as she shook her head no.  Her voice elevating slightly, not in anger to him but in heartbreak.  “Tell me how much I’m worth to him.”  She requested without wavering on the matter.  She couldn’t think beyond that question.  She couldn’t begin to wrap her mind around any of this in the slightest, but it was the most prominent question on her mind.  Her words did not interrupt the stream of tears flowing down her cheeks as she attempted the request again.  “Please, just tell me.”  Perhaps never before feeling her heart within her as she did now, the idea that her father thought her relationship with John was so surface that it would take nothing more than a sum of money to make the man disappear from her life. Only able to wonder how this was supposed to play out.  The number of reasons that may have been offered to John to use, surely with the idea of minimizing the impact of it to send Spencer running back to her father’s loving arms.  If she couldn’t get John to tell her, she’d call her father directly, or better yet, go downstairs, get in her car, and drive to his apartment demanding answers.

John Hearing her raise her voice, she’d have to know that this sort of thing didn’t work on him. No matter how upset. If he didn’t think she should know, he wouldn’t tell her. There was no sense in her knowing. Would this just hurt her further? The question was prevalent in his mind. Hearing her ask again, his hand slipping up to brush the stream from her cheeks. “There isn’t an amount, Spence.” he returned, refusing to let her worth be summed up in a frankly insulting number.

Spencer There was an amount and he knew it, which meant she was not okay with not knowing it.  He knew what she was worth to her own father.  He knew how much money his father associated with her freedom, as though she were being held captive.  The more she thought on it, the worse it felt.  It would continue to get worse as the smaller particles became prevalent in her mind.  As she worked through it, coming to further feel that house that she thought was so perfect, that she had cried joyful tears over, was tainted.  Bought with money meant to buy her from John’s control.  A burning sensation rose to the back of her throat.  Swallowing it back, the air seemed too thick to fully breathe it in.  “There is a fucking amount.  There is a dollar amount that he thinks he can buy me for.  While I’m out there, tarnishing the badge I swore by, all in the name of keeping him alive, he was what?  Saving it up to buy me?”  Quickly she was going from sadness to full outrage, making a move to leave that bed.  Regardless of the time, she had somewhere to be.  There was no sense of control as she saw nothing but red, similar to the morning she planted a blade in the chest of a blonde repeatedly.  No control.  No thought that it was wrong.  A sharp kick of the baby within to her rib cage had her freezing in her attempt to slip from the bed, a grunt at her lips as she brought her hand to press against his foot now feeling as if it were lodged between her ribs.

John “He really wasn’t tryin’ to buy you…he was tryin’ to buy me.” he reminded her, as the money was intended for him to start a new life. Attempting to buy him off of her and not quite the other way around and thus he could see what she was talking about. As the man had presented the suggestion, it was to buy his agreement as well as his silence on the matter. To disappear into the night or to go to Spencer one day and simply confess that he had cheated on her and to place his wedding ring down on the counter and be done with it. To end things in such a way that her father had known that Spence could never come back to him. Watching as she attempted to get up, he could tell she was escalating. “Spencer…” he began as she began to get up, watching her freeze as she stopped suddenly. Leaning up as he knew it was a little much too soon. “Easy.”

Spencer Hearing her name, it was as though it were muffled, spoken through water, against a closed door.  His presence was known and felt, and yet he felt a million miles away.  Another deep kick against her ribs had another groan from her lips.  “Rhys,” she whispered, pressing her hand harder against her ribs as though she could force the little one within to relocate his kicks back to a place less painful.  Closing her eyes, she made no further attempt to move for a moment as he delivered kick after kick in the same place.  Turning her head slightly to the side as she tried to find that deep breath to get through it, but the boy was unrelenting.  Easing her hand behind her, she pressed to the bed to stand up, her feet finding the floor, no longer on the mission to get to her father; though it had only been put on pause.  One foot in front of the other, she attempted to distract the boy from that which he had deemed a punching bag for the moment.  Opening her eyes, she found John, sitting up in the bed, clearly ready to intervene.  “I’m okay,” she whispered, a nod of her head to assure him.  She might have felt like no more than a ten cent hoe at that moment, as she clearly viewed it as her father attempting to pay her ransom, to find a dollar amount to buy her back from John’s hold, but she wouldn’t let John sit there just a few feet away from her and worry for the baby she carried.  If there was one thing she was certain of, he loved that child.  Knowing as long as she felt him moving, he was fine, there was nothing to be concerned over.  She just needed to get his toes out of her ribs so she could go and face her father.

John He wasn’t reacting just out of love for his son but out of love for the woman who carried him as well. She wasn’t a mere vessel for delivery. Watching her stand up, he was doing the same. He wouldn’t overcrowd her, he wouldn’t grab for her. But he was going to be there if something happened here. Watching her carefully as his light eyes remained locked on hers. The woman knew how to get him on the edge in that moment as she was unpredictable but he couldn’t just grab her and hold her to the bed as he might normally a few months ago. Now he had to actually use his words to talk her through these things. “I’m here, Spence.” he reminded her, not only if she needed his physical help but a reminder that he had not taken the bait. The extra sum of cash. He wasn’t going anywhere.

Spencer Hearing his words as he was there close by, she nodded her head as she pressed her hand harder into her ribs.  Step after step, she was now pacing the room, an act that might have appeared as rage, but was just in her attempt to stop the little James within her from killing her from the inside as it felt like.  Taking John’s hand, as she had so many times before in delight, she brought his hand to her ribcage, waiting a moment there for him to feel the impact against her bones.  “He’s mad,” she offered.  She had felt this before, but never to this degree, as he reacted to her emotions on a regular basis.  This time, perhaps to stop her from killing his grandfather, but every time it would remind her of that which they stood to lose by her emotional stupidity.  Her eyes lifted to John’s, the red screen she seemed to view through fading into lighter shades, almost returning to normal.  “I was going to kill him,” she confessed blatantly as they both now knew she was capable of doing.  “It was just like the woman, everything.  If he was here… the fuck is wrong with me?”  She asked, feeling the emotional weight bearing against her as she realized she was not herself.  Ready to act on any bout of emotion that struck her, she bit at her lower lip as her head found John’s upper arm.  “I’m not okay,” she confessed, allowing herself to need him in that moment based purely on the reminder he had given her.  He was there.  He wasn’t gone.  He wasn’t elsewhere with someone else, spending her father’s money that was actually her own.  He was there.  “I’m not okay,” she repeated as Rhys continued his assault, bruising her rib from the inside, feeling it every time she drew a breath.

John Feeling her guide his hand to her stomach and ribs, he heard her statement and nodded. Feeling the strength of the little guy making his whereabouts known yet knowing it was nothing like what she was experience. The thought alone making him nearly hurt as he didn’t envy the woman. Only wishing there was a way for him to take away the discomfort as he met her eyes. Her confession drawing a nod as he was quite tempted to kill the man himself. “What is wrong with you is that you are pregnant and you kill people when you are pregnant…maybe I should consider a vasectomy, huh?” the man teased, or atleast until it was turned on him. Feeling her at his upper arm, that arm slipping around her shoulders to pull her in the best way he knew how. Hearing her speak. “Let’s try to sit you down and see if he’ll go back to sleep…might just be jumpy because he got woken up.” he reminded her as he attempted to lure her to the beds edge once more.

Spencer She had never felt this to this degree before.  She didn’t know if there was a possible way to get him to stop until he severed the rib in two, at least that’s what it felt like his goal was.  Perhaps making more room.  Perhaps demanding his mother calm herself down.  Regardless, he had made himself known and instantly became the center of attention.  Drawing a deep breath, perhaps the first full breath she had been able to find since John broke the news to her, she nodded her head, joining him at his guiding to the edge of the bed where she eased down against it, taking a seat with him.  “That’s great.  Some people crave pickles and ice cream; I murder people.”  Sighing, she hated it.  She held deep remorse for the murder of the blonde and yet she couldn’t find remorse for wanting to hurt her father.  Shifting her eyes to meet his, she drew in another breath as her hand found his thigh.  “You know that I love you, and I hold no regrets with us?”  She asked, needing to make sure he knew how she felt, especially knowing there could have been any number of things fed to him by her father.  She didn’t know what he told him, or what he didn’t.  Her mind instantly shifting to a man her father would have deemed a better fit for his daughter, praying he hadn’t used Chris against John; a part of her knowing if he had, her father might be dead already.  

John Hearing her question that seemed out of the blue, the man’s eyes lured down to meet hers. Her father had not said much of anything besides her offer. He wasn’t stupid enough to prompt Johnny. A flare up of jealousy could end him and he seemed to recognize that he would get further through honey than vinegar. Neither liked one another, but her father had been decent enough of an ass kisser to see that pissing him off wouldn’t get him what he wanted. “I’d hope not.” he returned as he sat down beside her. “Because it is a little late for regrets or for running.”

Spencer Shaking her head as he mentioned running, it was one thing she couldn’t imagine doing.  Only once in their marriage had she considered such a thing after his mother made it blatantly clear to her that she was delusional for believing John could ever be faithful to her when he could have a million others, and did.  Looking back, she believed it to be the same day the woman laid hands on her as well.  Releasing a held breath as she tried to let go of that, it stood to say she wasn’t running.  She’d sooner die than run.  Feeling him there beside her, her hand tightened against his thigh as she felt another full kick to her ribs, eliciting that groan from her lips as she closed her eyes, resting her head to his shoulder.  “Feels like he’s doing demolition to create an expanded space,” offering the best explanation she could as her mind was quickly away from homes, dirty money, and price tags for the moment.  

John Unfortunately, Johnny was used to people running. Abandonment. Being left behind. From the start, it had always been the same. Feeling her against his thigh, he glanced down as she spoke. “Want me to try to talk some sense into him?” he offered, not sure if it would work but he was willing to give it a go as if the kid didn’t know the sound of his father’s voice by now, he might not ever be able to. “You know what I heard though? When you are pregnant with boys, you wind up with their testosterone so maybe your need to whoop ass all the time is just testosterone and you now know what it is like to be a man. You are either horny or angry, no in between.”

Spencer If it was possible to smile with these tears in her eyes, it would be brought forth by none other than him.  Such rage had filled her, and yet he had found the one thing that would bring those tears to a halt.  “Horny or angry pretty much sums up the last nine months,” she agreed, nodding her head to his offer to try to talk Mr. James down.  Her hand slipping from his thigh to the crook of his arm, she eased back, laying down against the bed as she reached to the side for a pillow.  Just that reach had her grumbling a complaint at the internal bruise the little one had inflicted on her.  Shifting slightly, she retrieved the pillow, bringing it behind her head as she closed her eyes as if it would give John that privacy with Rhys.  Slow breaths in through her nose, out through her mouth, attempting to relax herself and potentially Rhys as well.

John “Pretty much sums up the last 20 sum years.” The man agreed as he watched her lay back, watching her get comfortable before he’d lean in. Positioned over her stomach and against his side. “Listen here, little guy…” he began, voice loud enough so she could hear him as well but only being playful as he settled in closer. Speaking in a low whisper as it was a conversation intended just for the two of them. “I know you are excited that you are going to be here soon…but you have to be nice to your Mommy. Kicking her isn’t going to get you here any faster but you will be soon and she’s pretty cool, I think. I think you’ll like her. I know you’ll like her. Save the good stuff for when you get to pee on us and keep us up all night…”

Spencer Hearing John start out all tough with Rhys, she couldn’t help but smirk to herself.  She could just imagine John keeping him in line as he grew up, starting out with phrases just like that one.  If there was anyone she trusted to raise this child with, it was John.  Knowing only a small degree of what John had been through, she knew he would be the best father to their child.  She knew this child would be raised under a firm, yet loving hand, without a doubt in the world.  As his voice lowered, she knew things were personal there, not even minding as he spoke against her stomach, hearing not a word of the private conversation there.  Simply focusing in on those breaths as another kick was delivered as the boy showed his defiance, or at least that was what Spencer would call it.  A whine found her lips as she breathed through it, feeling the foot drawing back from the delicate rib as finally some relief was found.  Bringing her hand to the back of John’s neck, a soft touch from a woman who was seeing red not too long before, finally feeling the child withdraw a bit, giving her the ability to take a slightly painful breath as the next few days would entail thanks to his strong kick.

John Hearing her whine, he had thought that maybe just maybe it would be successful. Maybe it would not. Maybe the kid would have a red hot rebellious streak like the two of them seemed to have. Then again, he had fallen right into place in his life. Maybe more rebellious like his mother. Regardless, he felt her at the back of his neck. Pressing a gentle kiss to her stomach. He lifted slowly to lay besides her. Giving up a low sigh, it had been a long night alright. “I’m about to have 2 kids…” he remarked, as if the revelation of that number 2 was rolling up on him. “I’m going to be a father of two…two.” emphasizing the number with his fingers, he couldn’t help but think that there was something crazy about that statement.

Spencer Feeling that kiss to her stomach before he came to lay beside her, her knees still bent at the edge of the bed, half on, half off, she heard him start in with the sudden realization that he was going to be a father of two.  “Yeah… “ she whispered, nodding her head as her hand remained there to the back of his neck, shifting slightly onto her side, hoping not to disturb the baby in the process.  “An amazing father of two, with a wife that loves him more every day than the one before.”  Her words were honest, unrestrained as they once were.  She knew where she could make such statements and where she could not, and within the privacy of the room, he was stuck with any and all of her emotions as she would freely give them to him without need for code words to do the job as they relied upon in public.  “Maybe you put off that whole vasectomy thing and we have at least one or two more…?”  For the first time, she was venturing into a conversation they had never had of just how many they wanted together.  Truthfully, she had dreams of them when she was younger, but had given up on that when she married him, not imagining them to ever get there.  Yet here they were, and now looking into the future, she couldn’t imagine that they would stop with just the two.  “Maybe give me a girl?”  She asked, a soft smile gracing her lips as she imagined a miniature of herself with his eyes.  “In a few years maybe?”

John “I think you are safe on that front since a lot of doctors won’t do that shit in your twenties anyway…” he commented, knowing a bit more about it as he had been resolved to get one before her after he lost River. To never put himself through that again. Had she been a few months later, she might have missed the boat entirely. Hearing her mention giving him a girl, he glanced over towards her. A shrug of his shoulders. “You think you are less inclined to kill somebody with a girl?” he asked, as the estrogen might do something else to her entirely.

Spencer He knew far more on the matter than she did, so she wouldn’t dispute it in the slightest, though she’d wonder momentarily how it was he knew this.  “I don’t know… guess there’s one way to find out,” she offered, a smirk to her lips as she flashed a smile towards him.  She didn’t anticipate killing while pregnant with a boy, still not entirely able to believe she had taken a life.  A sick feeling would always pass over her with the idea of it as she was so entirely not herself at that time, but it was still her hands that had done it.  “You think you’d want a couple more though?”  She asked, wanting to gauge where he was on this since he was the one with two of his own already.  

John His hand trailed to her back, attempting to rub her back and work out any severe areas of tension. Hearing her question, he nodded. "I mean...yeah, as long as we have the money for it. I just don't want to be broke doing it." The man explained, having grown up that way and as a result, never wanting to do that with kids. "I don't really have a number. A cap. As long as we can work it out then I'm alright." He answered, benefits and health allowing. Lips grazing her temple.

Spencer A soft hum found her lips as she agreed to his terms there, feeling the exact same way.  As much as she hated what her father had done there, she could see why John accepted the money and how it would benefit their family in the process.  It hurt.  It wasn’t going to stop hurting any time soon, but now that the shock had worn off a bit there, she could at least see it as something slightly better than what she did moments before.  Feeling his hand to her back, his lips to her temple, she let her eyes fall closed.  “Angry or horny,” she repeated from previously as it was clearly one or the other.  Something so simple as a touch from the man able to send her mind into those places, though she still longed for that which she could not have.  “As soon as I’m cleared by this doctor, I want you,” she whispered, emphasis on ‘want’ to speak to the manner in which she wanted him.  The manner in which he taught her to love.  Her free hand easing to the top of his boxers, assisting her words as she drew in as close as her stomach would presently allow.  

John Hearing her reminder, he had to laugh. Only attempting to be affectionate and supportive of her as the opposite was achieved. Hearing her speak, he smirked to himself. "Think you'll make it?" He added curiously, feeling her to the top of his boxers as he took in an even breath. Feeling a particularly stiff knot of tension in the center of her back, attempting to work it clean.

Spencer “Guess I’m going to have to,” she whispered, feeling his hand working at the source of her tension in her back.  Drawing an easier breath in, he should be assured his wife would never want for anyone or anything else.  Finding their way through a stressful conversation, she couldn’t imagine it would end here, like this, but she was relieved it had.  There would still be a confrontation with her father, this much she was sure of, but for now it could be placed on the back burner as she felt more confident than ever that it was truly about she and this man and no one could tear them apart, try as they may.  “Do you miss it?” Her honest question came forth as she had wondered it many times over the course of the pregnancy.  Their dynamic had changed drastically, though she always imagined it was only for the safety of the child growing within her.  A part of her though wondered if he’d be able to pick it up again after she gave birth to his child.

John Hearing her question, he hardly needed to ask. It had been their entire relationship for so long  Between the physical, primal urges and the connection that came later. His teeth at his bottom lip, focusing on where his hand had discovered. "Like nobody's fuckin' business." The man confessed honestly, as if she was looking for truth, she'd get it. "But...we can be close now without fucking so it could be worse. Before, that was all we had." He reminded her, as it all owed his emotional needs to still be met and knowing he could do the same for her as well.

Spencer She was in no way complaining about the turn their sexual life had taken, enjoying that connection they had built there from the very first time it happened without intent, yet she had wondered from time to time if he still had a thirst for the encounters that required safe words.  His response brought a full grin from the woman as she released a sigh that would speak to her own take on it.  “Yeah, we can,” she agreed, a hint of interest there in her voice as she attempted to keep it under wraps but it would seep through without her consent.  A part of her thinking a release might be just what the both of them could need to feel close to one another considering all they had just been through, with the additional point that perhaps it would get the both of them to sleep, but fearing Rhys finding her ribs again all at the same time.  “You should try to get a little more sleep… Are you working today?” she asked, her own day including none of the sort as she was already riding maternity leave as she could truthfully go into labor any day now according to the doctor.

John "Sleep ain't easy." The man reminded her, for neither side. He seemed more and more empathetic to her as each day passed. Hearing her question, he nodded. "Eventually." He returned. Eventually he'd have to crawl out of bed and face the music but he was in no big rush. "But I already got more sleep in the time earlier than I did all the night before so don't go worryingly about me...apparently 3 hours is just what the doctor ordered."

Spencer A hum found her lips as she could fully relate to the concept of sleep not coming easy.  They were both sleep deprived as of the last few weeks, and for that she was sorry, feeling as though she were constantly disturbing him with her inability to be comfortable in one place for too long.  “I miss sleeping with you,” she confessed, recalling easily days she could wind herself around him and knock out for ten hours straight, knowing those days were long gone as even when Rhys was born, ten hours of sleep just wasn’t going to happen for years to come.  “I’m always going to worry about you getting enough sleep.  Can’t have you falling asleep driving or some shit.”  A quick reminder to him that his safety meant the world to her, and their son.  “So then, aside from my father trying to pay you to break me… is there anything else I need to know before it sneaks up on us and sends us on another roller coaster?”

John "I know." Physically sleeping with her was another luxury that had went during thr process of their pregnancy. They'd gain it again after their process of losing it knowing sleeping with a newborn wasn't all that easy either. Hearing her mention her father, a brow cocking beforr a shake of his head. "Nope, that's it...unless someone paid you." He teased, as his own mother would need to pay her in illegal substance and food stamps considering those were the only things the woman had to barter with.

Spencer Shaking her head slowly, she had been offered nothing to leave the man, more than likely because his own mother couldn’t afford to do so but beyond that, she was more than willing to damage Spencer with her words and her fist.  The entire mess so fucked, leaving a child with only two parents and very little in the makings of an extended family.  “What do we tell Rhys?” she asked, the question weighing heavy on her mind.  Now he had a set of grandparents that hated his father so much as to try to pay him to abandon them and a grandmother who had physically and verbally assaulted his mother who would not be allowed to come within fifty feet of the child.  Regret would only be found in this manner as she opened her eyes to find John’s eyes, knowing she and John would provide a good home for the boy, but hating that they couldn’t provide a family atmosphere as well.  

John "Honestly?" He began, showing he had thought about this. He leaned in and pressed his lips to her forehead. "I don't find it much of a loss on my end...I think I like the idea of being a little more selective on who gets to be a part of his life and considerin' my side is so fucked up. I know he'll have an uncle and aunt that'll love him to bits though and that's enough for me. A cousin on the way." He reminded her, that it might not be all that bad. On this new optimism kick.

Spencer Feeling his kiss to her forehead, she wasn’t sure where she stood on anyone being near him honestly.  A gut instinct she wouldn’t realize at first was actually her first true maternal instinct taking over as she wanted to just lock the child away from everyone but herself and John, keep him from confusion and pain.  Instead of bringing this forth, she would simply nod, relinquishing herself to the idea she couldn’t provide any balance to the chaos.  Closing her eyes once more, a bite to her lower lip as she kept herself silent on the matter.  Shifting her hand there against the waist of his boxers, finding an escape from the conversation as she let her fingertips graze softly against his flesh, knowing it shouldn’t take much to distract the man away from the conversation where he might find her discomfort.  Leaning in that much closer, her lips passing against the curve of his neck.  “If behind door number one there was a bed for you to sleep on and behind door number two was a bed with me in it where no sleep would be had, and you stood before them right this minute, which would you choose?”

John Feeling her hand drifting, his mind was going just as quickly. Glancing down to allow himself the sight of her hand before her lips were at his neck. Willing his head back down. Hearing her question, he shook side to side. "Don't I always choose the second door?" He pointed out honestly, as it was his most walked path and his most comfortable one. Unable to get too cozy knowing she was not as well.

Spencer A hum found her lips as he chose exactly what she would have expected him to.  Slipping her hand back, turning to her back as she stared up at the ceiling as though the question had been for no other reason than just out of curiosity; her smirk giving her away.  “Yeah, me too.”  Playing a little game as she cut her eyes to the side, trying not to get caught as she was stealing that glimpse of the man as she faked a yawn at her lips, only furthering the idea that she might have been just pulling his chain with that question.  Her ultimate goal, to see if she could spark something in the man.

John Feeling her abrupt glance up to the ceiling as he gaze left him as well as her contact. Hearing her yawn, he glanced over. Momentarily confused but it was gone quickly with just one glance at her. She wouldn't get the normal John that would be on top of her by now. She was far too precious as if she really was tired, that was fine to. Giving up his own fake yawn at her in attempt to inspire a real one in a game of yawn pong

Spencer Hearing the yawn he gave up, she quickly turned her head towards him, shock clearly displayed on her face.  “Are you tired??”  The question flew from her lips without hesitation as she sat up on the bed beside him, looking back towards him to prove she wasn’t tired in the slightest.  A pout took over her lips as she set her eyes on him, fighting off a real yawn, attempting to let it ease off to the side without getting caught with it.  “If you’re tired, you can sleep,” she offered through her pout, meaning her words though she hoped he wasn’t actually.

John "No, I'm trying to make you yawn." Revealing his grand scheme as he watched her prop herself up and change her plans, he had to smirk to himself. Meeting that pout as he faked another yawn. Making sure she saw every last moment of it though it was faked and intentional as he kept his eyes locked on her. Turning her own game around on her like usual until he backfired and made himself yawn. "Goddammit..."

Spencer Finding the real yawn there at his lips, she shook her head as she rose from the bed, hand slipping against his thigh as she called his bluff on this.  “Sleep.  I don’t want to keep you up,” she offered, taking those steps towards the doorway to the living space where she’d entertain herself to let the man sleep.  Knowing not too long ago, she could have done something seductive there in that doorway to convince him to wake up, though now, she knew she held no seduction at all.  The fuck me shorts were in retirement.  Taking off her shirt would do no good.  Instead, she would simply smile towards the man as she nodded her head, knowing that last yawn was the real deal.  

John "I'm not going to sleep..." he determined as she got up, already knowing he would not before and he would not know but he'd let her be free to her own devices. Having simply tricked himself into yawning as the brains response to yawning was actual yawning. "Enjoy your trashy reality TV time..." already knowing that this was what she'd be up to, he was onto the woman as he watched her from his reclined position. Reaching out for his phone.

Spencer Hearing him refuse the idea of going to sleep, she shook her head.  “Trashy reality t.v.?  I most certainly…” starting to deny it, she ultimately couldn’t as she knew it was true.  She did enjoy it, more than she was willing to ever admit.  “I offered you sex and you yawned,” she accused, taking no part of the blame on herself for this one, watching as he picked up his phone.  Deciding he’d moved on to something else there, she waited a moment in the doorway, ultimately coming back towards the bed, stealing the phone from his hand, slipping it behind her back.  “Your phone doesn’t deserve your fingers,” she stated, a tilt of her head as she determined she deserved that and a lot more.

John "You yawned first! You were about to stick your hand down my boxers then remembered what was going on in there and you yawned." He alleged, a theory of his own if they were playing this game. Watching as she grabbed his phone and stole it. Mirroring the head tilt at her statement. "Well, I figured I'd need somethin' to help me out with this whole not sleeping task if you were bailing on me." He reminded her, seeing how she felt about that. Hand reaching for hers.

Spencer His accusation was met with a shake of her head.  “Innocent of all charges,” she declared without pause.  “I was playing with you and you damned well know it.”  Her own accusation thrown that she would stick to at all costs.  As he reached for her hand, she took a step back as to keep that phone away from him, refusing to let him have it back.  “You reaching for your phone or your wife?”  She asked, eyes painted in curiosity as she meant to ensure he offered the right answer or his wife and his phone might just be finding their way out of the room entirely.

John "My WIFE." He answered honestly with a quick smirk, leaning up from the bed where his fingers curled over her wrist. Showing he wasn't at the phone at all but her. Keeping his gaze on hers as he gently led her back onto the bed. "Even if you yawned at my dick." Allowing this story to grow, there was no telling what it would be tomorrow. "Just my wife who happens to have my phone which she can put down at any time."

Spencer Feeling his hand to her wrist, instantly a smirk would take her features.  Silver bands of metal flashing through her mind per their previous conversation, though she’d keep that little thought to herself.  As he brought her back to the bed, she laid back at his guiding, the phone still there in her hand.  “I did not!” She demanded, shaking her head emphatically.  She was absolutely not guilty of yawning at his dick, ever.  “I wanted you to make a move on me!” She confessed, a frown taking her lips as her hand went weak, giving up the phone to fall against the bed beside her.  “If I had fuck me shorts, you would’ve jumped on that shit,” she offered, deciding it was nothing to do with her yawn and everything to do with that lacking sex appeal.  “You were gonna look up girls in fuck me shorts, weren’t you?”

John "Yawning is not a way to tell me that you want me to make the moves on you, Spence." He reminded her, feeling her laying back finally as all this was done in jest. Leaning over where he stole a quick kiss from her despite the allegations. "Yes, because 'fuck me shorts' mean 'fuck me.' Not 'let me yawn on your dick.'" He reminded her before her continued question, a shake of his head. "No, I was not. I was going to find non-yawning porn and blare it at top volume until you heard it and came back in to yell at me..."

Spencer The pout on her lips would remain even as he pressed a kiss to her lips.  Her pout would quickly turn to a full frown as the man continued on, first about her yawn, then about him searching for porn.  “John!” She exclaimed, both of her hands finding his face as her eyes found his.  The frown on her face feeling foreign as she was simply not one to frown, yet it was there just the same.  “I would never yawn ON your dick.  And secondly, porn?  You were going to opt to lure me in to yell at you?  You wanted me to yell at you?”  Finding that not to be too far in the future if he kept poking at her in this manner, though knowing it would have her desiring something entirely rougher than was a good idea; tempting for the power of it if no other reason.  Leaning in, her teeth snagged his lower lip, drawing it out as she had done a million times before when she wanted something of the sort, though now it was just a tease that couldn’t be fulfilled.  

John “Spence.” he returned at the outpouring of his name as he felt her against the sides of his face, hearing her giving him his own thoughts back to him in her voice, he had to shrug. They sounded a bit different from her yet he knew they had made sense in his head. A damn good theory. One that he felt still may have potential as he felt her at his bottom lip. Feeling the draw as he smiled softly, hand finding the back of her neck to force her lips to seek his out where he was waiting for her kiss with his own lips pressing firmly to hers.

Spencer Her name seemed to rarely pass his lips, and yet over the course of the middle of the night rendezvous in which neither could sleep, it seemed he had offered it more than he had in the entire span of their marriage.  Not disappointed in such at all as she quite liked it, she couldn’t help but wonder what she’d have to do to continue this new pattern into their future.  Feeling his hand to the back of her neck, she was unable to withhold her kiss from him as it was exactly that type of act she desired from him.  To relinquish control entirely.  To let him prompt her in the manner in which he desired.  To feel as though she weren’t nine months pregnant and completely unable to satisfy the man as she once had.  To have her insecurities put to rest and find that reassurance that he still wanted her as much as he once had.  Pressing her lips firmly to his, aided by the strong hand to the back of her neck, she drew her ankle to cross his as they laid side by side on that bed that was not their own.  Her hand finding his upper arm, grasping firmly against his flesh.  Withdrawing was not an option from the hold he had on her, putting her in absolutely her favorite position.  

John Feeling the way she melted into the slightly aggressive action, he was learning quickly. She wanted what she had once gotten. Easy, intuitive, him showing her exactly what he wanted. Granted, it couldn’t quite be the same. He couldn’t just crawl on top of her as he once had yet he could show that the woman was just as attractive to him as she always had been. Even 9 months pregnant. Feeling her ankle cross his and her hand at his arm, he was left with his hand smoothing over the back of her thigh. Leaning his head further over her where his lips were parting. Making way for his tongue to roll over the part of her own lips.

Spencer There would forever be something possessive in his touch, even if he didn’t always mean it to be present.  She could feel it in the way his hand smoothed against the back of her thigh, prompting her to lure her leg up his side.  As his lips parted, she waited, knowing what she would find next, but allowing him to offer fully.  The feeling of his tongue to the part of her lips was met with a soft hum of her lips before she would part them to him, controlling her own tongue from slipping forth, though she craved that taste perhaps more than anything else.  Patience.  It had been learned from day one with him.  If she was patient, he would give her everything she wanted and more.  And so she waited, allowing his tongue to pass through the parting of her own lips where her own would be eagerly awaiting him.  Her hand tensed against his upper arm, a hunger there she could not begin to deny aloud as her body spoke louder than her voice ever could.  

John He drew closer to her, the motion that may have normally rendered her on top of him. Hand sweeping over the side of her neck, thumb grazing her cheek. The feeling of her hand to his arm a good indication of where she was at before he was pulling his head back yet not releasing from her lips. Ready to have her close as he attempted to pull her on top of him. Back hitting the bed as his hand remained tightly clenched at her thigh.

Spencer The subliminal guiding prompted by his kiss, leaving her without the taste she had prepared for, instead, left to chase it.  Feeling him find his back, yet he brought her with him, she would slip over top of him.  Her knees to either side of him, her lips remaining to his.  Patience risked being lost as her own tongue slipped through the part of her lips to find his, teasing at his own for entrance as she took matters into her own hands there.  Shifting her clothed hips against him, stealing that sensation while providing him with the same.  A series of events leading them to a place far better than she could have imagined considering an hour before the woman was in tears.  Now there were no tears, only feeling potentially closer and more bonded to the man than she had before as he chose her when he could have chosen the road presented to him by her father.  It wasn’t lost on her in the slightest for she had always known her heart on things, but now she could see John’s without any doubt to be had.

John Humming low as he felt the shift of her hips, not needing any further statement. Negotiation. He was reacting to her as he always had. Smoothing his tongue over hers or at least attempting to as fingers found the hem of her shirt. Rolling it up between his fingers as rough palms found her sides. Pushing it up as far as he could before he'd require her arms and hands to pull it off. Treating her no different than he would have about 9 months before with the difference of an additional tenderness this experience had gifted him with.

Spencer The lifting of her night shirt, the feeling of his palms, all felt entirely like home to her.  The feel of his tongue to her own almost too good to stop as she was flooded with the taste she desired from the man.  His encouragement for the shirt to be removed would have to wait a moment as she was not entirely through with that taste, nor satisfied enough with that which she had stolen in order to put a pin in it.  Selfishness took her for a moment before she recalled a life left in the past.  Saying she missed how it had been was true, though how easily she had forgotten how it worked.  Drawing back from his kiss, her hands found the lower edge of her shirt, lifting it up and over her head.  Dropping it behind her, allowing gravity to steal it from the edge of the bed to the floor, she sat atop the man she loved, grateful she had been heard previously when she told him she missed this.  Fingertips ghosted against his chest as she let her eyes travel over the man’s flesh, a place she had not given thought to until now.  The name against his chest had always been respected, though now she would meet his eyes with a question at her lips.  “Think you’ll get Rhys added too?”  She asked, not quite sure if he had thought about it, but as the name River stood out to her on his inked skin, she simply asked the question as it made itself known within her mind.

John Watching her pull off his shirt after a debated moment on whether she'd remove it, he smirked softly as he felt her to his chest the same way his fingertips swept down her sides and over her hips. Faded scar tissue under his fingertips as he heard her question. A nod. Having already considered this. "My wrist." He added, having long ago decided that each kid he had would have a place on his body. A place of great importance to his body. His heart, his wrists, his jugular. One day she'd have a place as well even if she didn't know that.

Spencer Hearing him confirm Rhys would be added, she was quite surprised by the placement he had in mind.  Bringing her hand from his chest to find his wrist, her fingertips skirting over the area he mentioned, her eyes attached to that which her fingers passed before she would glance back towards him once more.  His answer had been quick.  He had already contemplated and decided, and yet she was just now thinking about it.  “Why your wrist?” she asked, not in the slightest disappointed by this, yet left to wonder the significance of such.  Her fingertips still passing over his wrist even after the question had been offered, almost wondering if she had shifted the flow of things there between them again as she found herself in an entirely too sentimental state to slip back, and yet knowing it would take but one move from the man and he’d have her back within it once more.

John "Figured since I got River on my heart. I gotta keep getting name tattoos on places that I can't lose. Can't lose your wrists, where your arteries are." He reminded her, it had poetic justice. Not to mention that had always been his plan if he ever had kids. There he was about to have his second and having an all too familiar conversation yet one he had not breathed to another living soul. Feeling her over his wrist before his fingers were linking with hers, palm in palm. "Guess I know better than to ask where you'll be getting yours..."

Spencer As his palm found her own, stealing her fingertips from his wrist, her slender fingers slipped between his.  Sitting over him, a softer smile to the features of a woman who not too long before was a visual hot mess, she curled her fingers down around his hand.  “Where I’ll be getting mine…?”  She asked, not having given it any thought in all honesty.  She’d considered tattooing King and Queen with him, but when that didn’t go, she’d never much thought of marking herself in any other way.  “Where do you think I’m getting mine?” she asked, going on with the idea that she might have already worked that one out, though she had not in the slightest.

John "I don't think you are." The man confessed with a light smirk, dragging her hand to his face. Dragging the back of her fingers gently across his cheek. Lips finding the back of her hand. "I think you're too much or a scaredy cat to do it." He challenged. Willing to be pleasantly surprised. "Especially after you got out of /our/ tattoos by getting pregnant and all..."

Spencer The softness in his actions did not match the accusations rolling off of his tongue.  Not quite sure if he was attempting to keep her softened to him as she had been over the course of the last few minutes or if he intended to incite that fire within her which he seemed to know just how to strike upon.  “Excuse me?  I got out of our tattoos by getting pregnant…?  I do believe I offered them and got no yes or no from a certain someone in this room…”  She offered as a gentle reminder as she shifted her hips against him intentionally.  Regardless of the pajama shorts she wore or the boxers he wore, knowing he would feel that shift as it was far more intentional than the previous.

John "You did. Did it on purpose..." he playfully accused, knowing better. Feeling the shift of her hips to his that drew a low hum for him. Hands slipping down for her pajama bottoms as he leaned up into a seated position. Lips finding her ear. "I'm the innocent one in all this." He teased, teeth nipping at the sensitive flesh as he willed her bottoms as far down as he could manage.

Spencer “Riiiight,” she argued, feeling him there at her bottoms as he rose to a seated position before her, working them down to her thighs with only a bit of help by her.  As his teeth found her ear, she tilted her head to the side, falling victim to that touch in ways she wasn’t sure she could ever make him fully understand.  “Mhm,” she offered, her defenses lowered by his words and that nip to her flesh.  “Completely,” she assured, giving in and for once agreeing the man was innocent of all charges; perhaps for the first time in his life.  Bringing her free hand to the side of her shorts, she eased back off of him, though she’d not move her head from there beside his, keeping up that contact even as she stood at the end of the bed, allowing the gravitational force to steal her shorts from her grasp.

John Hearing her agreement, he was quite pleased with the outcome. Pressed lips to the side of her neck, inhaling slowly. Her scent seemed amplified. Coated in pheromones that made the man even more abuzz for her touch. Feeling her working off her own shorts. He'd still do what he was doing whether she agreed or not since they both knew that the pregnancy was inevitable with all considering factors and here they were towards the latter half of it. One of his hands finding the back of her neck, assuring she was held exactly where he wanted her as his lips traveled to the base of her throat. A brief break to allow her to work off her shorts. Inhaling  all the while knowing he had paused abruptly but with the promise of return looming.

Spencer Standing to the end of the bed, her hands releasing the shorts she wore as his hand swept to the back of her neck.  The possession there in his touch as it always was, sending jolts of satisfaction through the woman with nothing more needed than just that feeling of being owned by him.  It was familiar and comfortable to her.  She knew her place and needed that reminder from time to time.  As his lips travelled the column of her throat, her hand found the side of her panties, drawing at them to lower them as well, allowing them to fall to the floor in one motion.  Her chin lifted, giving him ample access to that which he desired as her free hand reached forward for the front of the waistband of his boxers.  A tight grip to her hand, though her hand in his remained soft to the touch.  Conflicting intensities as she pulled at his boxers, attempting to lure him from the bed to free him of the only article of clothing separating them.  Her lip stolen by her own bite, eyes closed to the touch of his lips, feeling his heated breath against her flesh.  Her heart raced within her chest with anticipation of that which was to come, having exposed her desire to him, wanting nothing more than to feel as close to the woman she had once been; a woman whose man wouldn’t dare think of another for he had all he needed right there.  Knowing things had been far more intimate over the course of the pregnancy, she held no doubt every encounter would now hold some degree of it which was of no disappointment to the woman, even if tonight her thirst lied in something else entirely.  A place where he owned her entirely.  A place where words of affection fell in code.  A place where he could show his dominance in a manner over her, then hold her and reward her beyond it.  An experience she had never shared with another, learning it directly from him, finding herself to thrive in such a position, giving him an outlet to be the man so many liked to discredit him in.  Allowing the show of masculinity as she found it more attractive each and every time.  The bite at her lip already indicating he had her in that mindset, even though a moment before she had gone sentimental on him.  The grip at his waistband was rough, rougher than she could have anticipated as she subconsciously sought to draw out that man from his shell, trusting him profusely as she knew he would have Rhys’ safety in mind, yet she could not be trusted to do the same in that moment for that which drove her was simply too strong.

John He felt the rough grip to his boxers, hips lifting as he allowed her to draw him down where she'd find he already hardened dramatically. The topic of what their sex life would look like after this baby would be an interesting one. Part of him thought he'd have no problem returning to their old habits. They both loved them too much and those encounters would he inevitable. Yet, part of him thought those sorts of couplings would become the rarity and the other stuff the norm. He supposed there would be no way to know until he was there. How he'd balance this newly fangled respect he'd bare for her as a mother and reconcile it with their own relationship. For now though, he was comfortable giving her what she wanted all within safe means. His own hands at her recently bare sides as he attempted to lure the woman psychically back into him.

Spencer The moment he found his feet, she stole her hand from his to bring both of her hands to either side of his boxers.  Her chin remained lifted as she now took in the man’s features as she lowered his boxers to a place where they could easily fall.  Feeling his hands there to her sides, she stepped quickly forward to close that gap at the silent suggestion offered by his hands.  Her breath heavy on her lips as her eyes found his, eagerness there burning within them in a manner that had been all but lost over the last few months, only showing itself from time to time, though now it had complete hold over her.  Her body pressed to his as they stood there beside the bed, one of her hands coming up to find his upper arm, her grasp on him tight, letting go of the softer side of things entirely.  Her other hand boldly finding his hardened cock there between them, protruding against her stomach as her hand wrapped firmly around him.  Taking liberties until he took control from her, determined to incite it with every move she made.  Her eyes never faltering as her hand shifted up his length, dragging her lower lip through her teeth.  In that moment, she didn’t feel pregnant.  In that moment, she was the same tiny cop standing before him that she had been a million times before.  Her desire for him radiated off of her, thickening the air surrounding them as that tension built.  Appearing to be a power struggle, though there would be no struggle at all.  She was well aware of how far she could go, even if she often went right up to the line, toes against the forbidden territory, glaring the bull in the eyes.  Tempting him to take it from her, determination lacing her every move.  “If tonight was your last night…” she began, a throwback to another time when she offered him absolutely anything he wanted, bringing it back in that moment as she leaned into him, her lips pressing against his chest as her eyes lifted upwards to take in the landscape of his facial features from below.  “If tonight was your last night, how would you want to spend it?”  Her question did not pause the stroke of her hand against him, nor the pass of her lips against his chest, showing her willingness there in her words as she offered him the control on a silver platter; all he had to do was take it if he so desired.  

John Stepping out of his boxers, he met her eyes. Reading the tension well underneath of those conflicted green hues. Her pull onto him greeted with his hands smoothing over the small of her back and over her ass. Welcoming her in closer to him, feeling her hand seek out his shaft. Giving up a low, pleasurable growl. Eyes on hers. Free hand to the side of her face as his thumb outlined her bottom lip. Eyes watching that smooth motion over her bottom tier before she was at his chest. Hearing her question, a familiar one. Yet, hearing it return was equally pleasurable as the first time if not more so. "Buried deep inside of you." The man confessed, hands firm at her ass as he backed her to the edge of the bed. Working to guide her back ontop of it where the perch between her thighs was seeming more and more tempting with each passing moment as he sought to taste that which was his.

Spencer As his fingertip had passed over her lower tier, it was a feeling that would not leave her as she pressed her lips to his chest.  Feeling the grip his hands took to her ass, she backed to the edge of the bed at his guiding.  One slow step back at a time, not for the sake of safety by any means, but allowing that tension to reach heights they had not seen in some time.  A hum found her lips as his confession spilled forth, instantly drawing a hint of moisture between her thighs at the mere suggestion.  An act she could not do on her own, only drawn forth by him and his words, his hands at her body, his voice.  A sigh found her lips, falling against his chest as she slowly lifted her chin, her eyes to find his as her hand continued to stroke at his cock, hand tightening as she bit her lower lip.  Nodding her head softly, she felt the bed to the back of her thighs.  Lowering herself to sit there at the edge as he stood before her, her eyes shifting down to view her own hand as she surpassed his length time and time again.  Entranced by the motion as it replicated that which he suggested.  Bringing her lips to the head of his cock, taking it within her mouth but one time before she withdrew entirely.  Freeing her hand of him as she pressed her palms against the bed, moving herself back from the edge as her eyes found his once more.

John As she sat, he was fully prepared to lean over and flip her legs over his shoulders. To show her how exactly he'd spend his last night on earth as there was no greater pleasure for the man. Yet, as she sat down, he felt her mouth around his cock. Replacing her hand all too briefly. A low groan leaving him. The touch entirely too brief now that he had gotten in. Leaving him something to thirst for. Starting the deep rooted fire in his gut. Meeting her eyes as she looked at him as if she did not know what she had done. Shaking his head as if to suggest that now she was in for it as he remained standing. Leaning over where his chest met the bed and gliding her legs over his shoulders swiftly as intended.

Spencer The look in his eyes had been the one she had been looking for previously.  Though this time, her taste of him had not been to draw it forth, finding great irony in the fact it was not meant to and yet had.  As he remained there at the end of the bed as she made that first move to slip further onto the bed to allow him to join her, she felt his hands there to her legs, drawing them up and over his shoulders.  Instantly there was a tension in her stomach, feeling herself clench as he took all control from her.  The sudden maneuver had her stunned, showing her first-hand how much she had missed this husband of hers.  She loved the softer side of him, knowing she was the only one to see it, but to know he could both love her and fuck her at the same time was something she would hold in great value.  Feeling owned by him was like nothing she had ever known before, thus taking something that perhaps should not have held this much weight with her and escalating it to perhaps one of the highest forms of closeness the two could share.  It was based purely in trust above all else.  Trust he had earned from her in showing her he would bring her to the very brink, yet never let her fall.  Laying back flat against the bed, her legs bent over his shoulders, she drew in a full breath, anticipating his touch.  The seconds in between may have been short, but there was something there that would make it feel like an eternity as she craved this as much as he did.

John She had always been his. John had no doubt of it. Being his now meant she surrendered her past. Left it behind her. Understood not to discuss it or talk about it. It meant she'd be his forever. Despite any words to offer the opposite. It was a pact written in blood. He wasn't going anywhere. As such, he'd claim what was his in this fashion. Thirsty for her taste. She had now ignited the fire that threw caution to the wind. Tongue parting his lips as he drove over her heated anatomy. The thick muscle fasting on what he had drawn from her already yet knowing it was nothing in comparison to what was to come. Trailing up to her clit where his lips were tenderly nursing those nerve endings for the warmth of overwhelming pleasure.

Spencer In that first sweep of his tongue, her breath was stolen from her.  A warmth preceding his tongue on contact, surging through her body.  Feeling his passage set in on her clit, she drew up on bent arm to view this for herself as she so often did, only to find she was visually impaired by the child within her.  Without that view, she instead lowered back, closing her eyes, knowing what it looked like from a million other stolen glances.  Imagining the top of his head there between her thighs as she felt the repercussions of such, she drew her lower lip between her teeth.  One hand slipping down to find the back of his head, an encouraging touch there as she lacked the ability to find his eyes.  Drawing in breath once more, her body temperature rising a little higher with each passing second as he knew just how to make his wife fall apart in front of him in the best of ways.  During her pregnancy, everything had heightened effects.  Her emotion, her sex drive, her stimulation.  This would be no different as she drew a fist full of his hair within her grasp.  Her hand losing that encouraging demeanor it held a moment before, instead fueling the fire she had seen within the man’s eyes a moment before.  That first whine passing her lips with the promise of many more to come as they were his entirely.

John No longer able to watch her feeling him and have that contact, it filled him with the need to make her reactionary in different ways. To tell him what he needed to know as his hands swept up her sides. Humming low, introducing those vibrations to her with each pressurized and paced sweep of his thick muscle. One hand sweeping down where his middle finger was tracing around her entrance. Gathering her fluid against the tip of that digit before he was sliding within and feeling the warmth of her as he submerged his finger. Tongue steadily sweeping at her, working with his hand as his other moved over her side.

Spencer As his hand passed up her side, her own free hand was there to link her fingers through his.  Grasping onto his hand as she felt him sliding a single finger within her.  The combination of his hum at her clit with the internal stimulation of his finger within had her instantly pressing her feet against his upper back, lifting her lower body slightly upwards.  There was no denying he knew the right combination to unlock her, forcing her to get vocal even without a request for it.  What had begun a soft whine at her lips continued as such, yet unrestrained.  The sound of her breaths took the space as they were ragged and irregular, interrupted by a gasp, then a whine.  There were few times in life she felt as though she didn’t hold any control over herself and this was one of them.  She could not withhold for even a moment as everything he drew from her was of his own doing.  “Fuck,” the only word that could actually be made out as it passed her lips in a sea of other single sounded attempts.  The rising sensation throughout her was the sweetest drug, leaving her craving eternal suspension in this space somewhere between pure heaven and pure hell, at the will of his actions as to just how long she would be held in this state before the assured release.

John He'd need a strong response from her. Vocal explanation. Nothing else would settle yet he knew it was never too hard to get it out of this woman of his. Feeling her altered angle opening her up to him entirely. Hearing her breath and reactions as he guided his lengthy digit deep within her, rotating out with the addition of his second digit. Giving her a little more like what she was used to. Finding himself building his pace as both mouth and hand worked in this accompanying arrangement

Spencer Relentless.  The man was relentless when he was in his element and this time would prove to be no different.  It had been quite a while since she felt him this determined.  Even under the haze of the pending release she could recognize it.  He was after that release, and yet she couldn’t help but feel as though he were after something more.  Pushing her harder, giving her all he had, his hunger seemingly unmet for some time.  “Joh-…” his name intertwining in an exhale from the woman.  Feeling herself there on that edge, suspended there by his own hand.  Her bare feet to the edge of a cliff, teetering on the ledge where she could be drawn back from it in one sharp motion or she could be pushed over entirely with the most simplistic of actions.  Never before had she felt inclined to ask such a thing, but the words burned at her tongue.  “May I?”  He had never demanded her ask them, thus when they came forth from her, his surprise would surely be surpassed by her own.  Vulnerability and desperation gripped tight to her question as she could feel the sway back and forth, how easily she could release or be refused that release and held in this heightened place indefinitely.  Both of her hands tightening; one in his hair, one in his hand.  Threatening to coat his digit with the sweet nectar she knew he craved, yet giving up all power to him as her request for release was posed.

John Hearing her ask, the man smirked softly. The sweep of pleasure and pride making his cock throb. The control. The fact that she was asking him permission for what he was pushing her towards. He liked the sound of that. Maybe a bit too much for his own good. A hesitant moment before answering. "You may." Lips drifting from her briefly, he was right back to it. Intensifying in sweeps of his tongue and rotation speed of his digits.

Spencer Those seconds of silence between her question and his response were pure torture to the woman.  Knowing she had to hold, unwilling to ask the question and then steal the power away she had given him in it by nullifying it entirely; she held on.  Her thighs to his shoulders trembling as she held that release.  As his permission was given to her, she released a held breath, feeling him return to the very actions that led her to this place, holding out just that much longer.  Allowing it to be his actions to bring her there entirely.  The room felt as though it were spinning as she finally gave into that feeling that had washed over her.  Clenching walls held tight to his fingers within her, pulsating against him until that which she asked permission for came forth.  The warmth washed through her as it coated his fingers, in perfect time with the whine at her lips.  Turning her head to the side as her lower body rocked upwards against him throughout the release.

John Feeling her wash, he was left with his free hand struggling to not pull from her. To relieve the throbbing in himself. To provide some balm to how intensely hard she made him. Assuring she was cumming hard and heavy for him as his mouth turned to a hum against her. Finishing strong as he drove through and against her. The taste of her warm and coating his tongue with the taste he ached for when he could not achieve it. Left to rely solely upon her body language to see where she was and seeing nothing but red hot satisfaction.

Spencer Her grip to him remained as tight as it had been as he hummed against her, driving forth a second wave as he held her in this release several moments longer than customary.  The sound at her lips intensified, only to tone downwards as she had given him all she had within her, though it would take her a moment to trust there would not be a third.  Slowly, she loosened her grip on both his hand and in his hair, easing her hands from him.  One hand sweeping up to brush the hair from her own face, the other resting against the bed beside her.  Several long deep breaths passed her lips in those moments beyond, making no attempt at taking her legs down from his shoulders.  She had given him complete and utter control here, which she would not be rescinding.  Gratitude laced her lips as she followed her request for release with a soft ‘thank you’ as he had done right by her by not making her hold there for him for very long.  It would take but a couple moments before her hand was in search of the side of his face.  A soft touch of her fingertips as her voice broke the sound of her breathing once more.  “Kiss me,” she requested softly.

John As she drew her legs down from his shoulders, fingers withdrawing from her as he was left with the taste of her over his lips. Collecting her in any capacity he could as he was pulling up to her side. Angling his face into her reach for it. His own hand finding the side of hers, breathlessly guiding his lips to hers at her willing as he still fought that urge of his free hand that trailed over the side of her thigh and down to her knee. Inhaling deeply as if to make sense of the lust she provided.

Spencer As he came to the side of her, his lips finding her own waiting for his.  With one hand there to the side of her face, the other against her thigh, it was in this moment she would truly feel as though she were the center of his universe.  Bringing her to not a single release, but a compounded orgasm, everything about her felt light there beside him.  With no thoughts of anything from the hour before, completely at peace with that which she shared with this man, regardless of what opposition existed within her own bloodline.  Her lips passed against his more softly than perhaps they should have, not matching at all what she had instigated there, but it was honest.  Under the influence of both the release and the pregnancy, her emotions were all over the place.  In prior moments such as these, there would be a hunger against her lips and perhaps there would be again, but for just that moment, she was lost in a kiss with the man she loved.  Her hand found the side of his neck as she turned to her own side, drawing one leg over his.  Breaking her kiss free of his only long enough to whisper against his lips.  “I want you.”  Words that had passed her lips a million times before, yet always held with them the same desperation and connotation.  Her lips pressed more firmly to his for a brief moment before her mind was flashing to the manner in which she had asked for that release, a smile gracing her lips mid-kiss.  “May I have you?  All of you?”  Respect laced her words there as she made it known they both had a choice there.  Carrying forth a tone she had set forth, albeit unfamiliar.  Finally returning to the headspace she had entered with him there when that fire was lit within him, her free hand slipping between them, somehow sensing the throbbing he was feeling within his own shaft.  Not taking possession of him, instead, simply dragging her finger softly down the side, teasing at his sensitivity much in the same manner she had not too long before when a simple pass of her lips over him had fueled his inner fire.

John Feeling her drawing her leg over him just as he had been ready to force, she beat him to it. Reading his mind as they both worked in sync to accomplish that final task. To bring them in together. The man was locked into her for the long haul. Even in that encounter. The highs, the lows. The need for intimacy or the opposite, he could hang with the punches and return each one jab for jab. Hand sweeping further over that thrown leg. Feeling her pulling back from his lips. His eyes were meeting hers. A nod. Yet, before he could give her a formal answer, she had sought him out. Stealing his words and grasp on the English language. So unbearably hard for her. "Yes." He returned hotly, letting her do the honors hopefully sooner before later.

Spencer Feeling his hand drawing her leg around him, her hips were aligned for him as her fingertip ghosted against his length, awaiting that permission in ways she herself couldn’t understand.  She didn’t know where they were coming from, and yet they seemed to form almost naturally at her lips.  Quite unsure if his short answers meant he was pleased with this progression or if he was just taken by surprise as she was, she found his answer there in his eyes before he even breathed the word forth.  Her formerly light touch against him turned sudden, grasping him at his base as she gave a full, powerful stroke up his length, bringing his head to her entrance, though not pushing against him at first.  Allowing the remnants of her release to coat his tip, the warmth still there as her body kept it so.  Her own lips still there at his own, her hand shifted from the side of his neck to the back, drawing her lips firmly to his own in sync as she brought the head of his cock to her entrance once more.  Shifting her hips forward as she brought her leg to fully wrap around him, taking not only that first inch within, but several before her own position could not withstand any further penetration, needing him to take the reins.  A sharp inhale at his lips was directly followed by a cry rendering the kiss broken as her head fell to the bed below.  Leaning in to find refuge there at the curve of his neck, her teeth grazing his flesh as heated breaths laced with pleasurable whines fell against his skin.

John “Mmm…” humming low, seemingly in agreement at the feel of her as he felt her hips do all that they could. His own movement forward taking over as he saw to it that the rest of his shaft glided smoothly within her. Parting those slick walls previously tended to. He had assured that as she stole his breath. Feeling her at his neck as his hand pressed further up her thigh. Keeping her hooked there, assuring he felt the resistance down to his very marrow and the warmth of pleasure he could find solely in his wife’s keeping. Seeing himself entirely within her as he stilled. Taking in that moment for the both of them as he probably needed it just as much as she did.

Spencer Her teeth there at his shoulder, ever threatening to inflict that which she felt within, yet she withheld from doing so as his shift forward ended.  Feeling her hips now pressed to his own, the depths within he filled with himself, she honored that moment he took there for the both of them.  Slow, deep breaths passed her lips as she pressed a kiss to the curve of his neck.  Never quite herself in those initial moments, losing the ability to be strong for the faintest of moments, unable to guard herself in any way.  A shift of her chin and her teeth found the lower curve of his ear, a soft bite to him as his wife started to come around, adjusting to him within her, her intentions made known once more in this silent act as her grip tightened at his ear.  Withholding nothing as she sought to awaken the man’s hips, desiring that look he had given her not too long before just before he had drawn her legs over his shoulders.  “You wanted to be buried within me, and now you are… so tell me, now what do you want?”  Seduction laced her words as she returned to the strength she customarily seemed to hold, ever in tune to making sure the man was completely satisfied in this manner.  She could lose him for a million other reasons, but never would she permit it to be said he was not satisfied in this arena.

John And the man would never not be satisfied here. Like he had mentioned earlier, he didn’t require this as the only way to feel close to her anymore. A rare and terrifying feeling as he’d always fear it all falling out from under him. The intimacy they had achieved was beyond the bounds of what he could ever understand or what he had ever experienced. Feeling her adjusting around him, he heard her words before he pressed his forehead to hers. A heated and slow breath as he pushed his hips forward further against her. Knowing he had nothing left to offer her before his hips rolled in a circular motion against hers. Knowing exactly what he was doing. “I wanna’ see how many times I can make you cum.”

Spencer With his forehead pressed there to her own, his words fell against her lips in close proximity.  The very sound of them was met with a sharp draw of her breath, never knowing if the man fully knew what he could do to her with so few words spoken.  Feeling that shift of his hips, she drew her lower lip between her own teeth, eyes set on his as she offered a slight nod of her head.  Giving him full permission to test this theory, though setting herself up for both the most incredible and yet tortuous experience as it meant she’d be brought to that edge time and time again, pushed over only to be reeled back in to go through it again and again.  “You have two under your belt thus far,” she confessed, as the first release had been quickly followed by a second, already giving him a head start to his goal there.  Though only one had been asked for, the second had sprung upon her too quickly to even realize it.  Stealing his lips with her own for a brief exchange before she’d draw back once more, venturing into an open communication of sorts.  “Do you like it when I ask you?”  Her nerves were present in that question as it had never been something she’d considered doing in the past, and yet somehow it felt entirely natural to ask him in this venue.  

John Hearing her asking, his hand smoother up over her ass. A firm grip as he rocked against her a bit firmer. He smirked softly. Detecting her nerves though there was no reason for it. Determined that every encounter from here until her labor would be an encounter to remember. Never knowing if this would be the last time before she gave birth and they were kept from it for a few months. "I love it..." he confessed, knowing it would be something he may require going forward as he enjoyed it a little too much.

Spencer Feeling his hand taking a firm grip against her ass, feeling as though there was no hesitation on the man’s part as he drove within her, drawing out the whine he should be all too familiar with by now.  His confession was met with a hum of her lips, using his response to that question to gauge the way she would be with him at least for the rest of this encounter.  Should he want it beyond that, it would need to be established at another time, for right now all she was focused on was him and making sure his every need was being stroked and met in surplus.  Tightening her leg around him, her body meeting his as the two laid against their sides, accomplishing a position she couldn’t recall from ever before, having gotten creative with their present situation.  “Me too,” she offered a few seconds later, an honesty there as she spoke.  “I like this too,” she whispered, her fingertip finding the edge of his smirk, slipping to the side if only so she could press her lips against the corner.  Though a smirk was not a smile, it was an insight into the man just the same.  Her kiss eased from the corner of his mouth to find the side of his neck where she would take her liberties until stopped.  Her lips formed against the curve of his neck, drawing herself into him entirely as she sucked against him for a long moment before drawing forth her teeth to press against his skin, threatening him silently, though this time she would make good on her threat.  Sinking her teeth against his flesh, just as relentlessly as she had done in one of their first encounters, before she would draw back to press her lips in that very place again.

John His hesitation was gone as was all shyness, as if he ever had any to begin with. Though many would mistake his stoic nature with shyness, it was nothing of the sort as she could atest for. Feeling her leg tighten around him. Not quite sure what she was mentioning liking before he felt her lips to the corner of his. It was hard not to smirk when he was buried within her. He was pretty sure she could get just about anything out of him in that moment yet he wouldn’t confess that knowing she’d be quick to use it against him. Feeling her against his neck as he was tempted to tell her that she wouldn’t mark him. That she wasn’t brave enough. Until he felt her doing just that causing him to lose the patience in his hip grind and allow those same hips to withdraw before pushing forward. Creating a smooth friction in his glide as he forced his way through tight walls. Feeling her return to the spot of the crime and supposing it was only fair as she wore signs of his possession in her pregnancy and he’d escape this with a bruise or two.

Spencer A place where once her scratches were worn for days against his back, his shoulder nearly always sporting one or another of her markings, it had been quite some time since she had laid such a claim to the man, yet something in the atmosphere of their union had her feeling it entirely.  As he drew back, she was already anticipating that plunge back within, causing her to halt her efforts momentarily as she braced for it.  Intentionally tightening those walls, fully set giving him the best experience there possible.  As he shifted within her once more, her teeth found his shoulder again.  This time relentless in her bite as she made no effort to shield him from pain.  Wanting to send exactly that radiating through him as her hand found his upper arm, nails there at his flesh as she threatened him again.  Doing so repeatedly, as she would until he deemed otherwise.  Pushing boundaries at every turn just as she always did as his punishments were just too good to miss out on.  A groan fell against his shoulder as she refused to release that bite on him, furthering the mark already well developing beneath her mouth.

John The woman knew what the pain did to him. Jar him. Make him forget the task at hand and what he was out to accomplish. Feeling the burn of her teeth drawing a hitched breath out of him. Hand lifting at her ass only to abruptly laid, assuring she felt it in her blood and the bruise that would surely follow as his hips lifted once again. Building his pace as his free hand found her back. The teasing kiss of her nails at his skin only making him want it more. A fiend for that pain and the surge it sent through him. He was no stranger to it. It made him feel alive. Untouchable. Just as she did in these moments where the rest of the world melted away.

Spencer The heavy hand against her ass would prompt a scream from her lips, severing that bond she had forged at the curve of his neck.  Instantly, her nails found his flesh, digging deep against him before she’d start that familiar path downward that normally scarred his back.  “God, I’ve missed this,” she confessed through heavy breath before snagging his lower lip between her teeth.  Unable to hold herself back in any form as she truly was taking any and all liberties against him.  Slipping her leg back from around him, constantly attempting to incite something more from the man, using what power she had to force his own hand.  Threatening to withdraw from him entirely as a devious light shone through her eyes.  Tugging his lower tier back, though her bite was unaltered, intent to draw blood if necessary to get the full wrath of the man channeled into this space between them.

John Feeling her nails finally seek him out, she'd hear the low growl summoned from the depth of his chest. Yet, her leg slipping back drew his hand back down at her leg. Refusing to let it go down like that as her actions crossed her words as he forced her leg back over him. Retaining that position as he forced his hips harder against her. Feeling her at his lower lip and that attempt to force him into what was already happening. His free hand gripped at her side as perspiration pierced his skin as the woman rose his body temperature.

Spencer The sting of his hand at her upper thigh resulted in her bite at his lip being released, unable to sustain it as the weight of his hand fell against her.  Pleasure radiated through hazel eyes as she felt his hand drawing her leg forcefully around him once more, leaving no room for discussion on how he wanted her.  “And here I was going to offer another position,” she whispered as though it might’ve been true, though that look in her eyes would give her away entirely.  Though in the weaker position there, she would take that bit of control to shift her own hips against his, creating that struggle as she was not quite satisfied with the show of dominance he held over her yet.  She had seen it be stronger in the past and was definitely attempting to outdo even the best of their encounters.  Stealing a quick nip at his lower lip, defiance flashing through her as she tempted fate there.  Her lips parting for yet another cocky phrase, though instead there would be nothing but a whine with each drive forward between them.  Finding herself to lose her ground in a game of her own design, feeling her entire body tensing there before him, having been so into tempting him, she couldn’t even feel that release rising within her.  Now, after playing this game, she was forced to recall a question that would then transition all power back to him in a single instant.  “John… may I?”  The realization of her present position had anticipation flashing through her as he now held the ability to give her pleasure or pain.

John He knew she was teasing him. Taunting him. Knowing he could only go so far in her current state in the way of overpowering and dominating her which would take a bit more creativity than normal. Hearing her mention a position change, the look in his eyes was a telling one. Not believing her for a second. Hearing her ask permission, it was the right way to appeal to his senses as he nodded. "Go ahead." He allowed, still making the most of this as he grinded his hips forward. Hand detecting the heat that his smack had forced.

Spencer A look of pure shock flashed through her eyes as he granted that permission, almost entirely sure it would be declined.  The moment the words left his lips, her own were there pressing firmly to his as he shifted his hips forward against her, taking that grinding motion he knew so well would bring her to her end.  An end that she knew from his previous statement was only the beginning.  The tenderness beneath his hand was a stinging reminder of what she could draw from him, actions that would have her on the edge, ready to cum for him nearly every time.  Her hand found the back of his neck, trading the bite of her nails on his upper arm for this space just below his hairline as she drew him deeper into that kiss even as her walls began drawing tightly around him.  The pulsing within only to release against him as her leg drew tighter around him.  Finally unable to sustain the kiss, her head was leaning back as her lips parted, falling into the depth of that release just inches from his face as a melody of whines passed her lips.  His name there, desperate whispers as his motion within her was unceasing as ever.  Giving way for the third time that night to that which he drew from her.  This time resolving her to the fact that from here on out, she would push him no further, knowing she had done more than enough in that aspect to hand it all over to him from this point forward.

John As her head fell back, his lips were to her throat. Tasting her moans, feeling the vibrations to his lips as he heard her in a way that would be, what he could imagine, harmonious. Hearing a name he had never much liked from her lips, feeling her cumming once more from him as he worked for it. Stronger rotations of his hips, thrusting forward. Loving what he could achieve in her. Be it more successfully or just the fact that he had never been so driven for another's pleasure, his lips were trailing down her chest. Seeking out that rapid heartbeat.

Spencer Relentless as ever, she felt his lips to her throat, a place that would forever intensify any release she was within.  Feeling more connected through this touch than perhaps any other.  As his lips trailed down, her hand slipped from the back of his neck, no longer able to inflict her nails on him when his lips were so soft to her skin.  Coming through to the other side of that release, feeling how easily he could drive into her now with that added warmth coating him, her own body now hypersensitive to each thrust he brought forth against her.  A hum found her lips as she allowed her head to rest there to the bed, lying on her side before him.  Fingertips easing to the back of his head, softer fingers through short strands where previously she had gripped firmly.  “You are my life,” she promised.  Words that perhaps were out of place there given the atmosphere build between them, but honest as her own name, potentially hormonally driven.  He was her life, every bit of it.  A formerly strong woman was brought to complete dependence on this man and not one bit ashamed to admit it.  For her, it was as though he was the very breath she breathed, the blood in her veins.  Without him, none of it would have been worth it.  But with him, she felt as though the world was theirs for the taking.  Completely in love with him in ways she couldn’t fully communicate, and yet small offerings such as this would be made along the way to try to tell him, even when they were slipping forth in inappropriate places.

John He knew she was his life and it wasn't a fact he took lightly. She had risked everything. Her job, her dependence, her finances and her family. Burning bridges on her way to him and for that, she'd always have the man operating at his absolute best to rebuild that which had been lost. His love might not be a glimmering public spectacle, but it came out when needed. Finding her lips, he gave up a low hum. "Tell me more." He requested, a firm kiss of her lips as he was ready for her to tell him those three words and for a position change.

Spencer As his lips met her own, her hand was there to the side of his face as his request sat in on her.  Feeling his lips part from her own, she drew a breath, meeting his eyes as her fingertips passed softly to his cheek.  “You want more?”  She asked, not following that which he wanted to hear from her instantly, confusing his request with wanting more insight instead.  “I could tell you about how empty my life was before you.  How I didn’t have a soul, going through the motions because they were expected of me.  I didn’t have that thing that made me feel strongly.  I could tell you how in all of my life, I never anticipated feeling this way about someone.  Where you literally think you would die without the other person.  I could tell you how I will spend the rest of my life if only to show you what happiness is because it’s that important to me that I give you what you give me.  Or I could just tell you that I love you and let that cover all of that and then some…”  Finally getting there, though she genuinely could have gone on for hours about how she felt about the man, she went with the shorter version.  If he wanted more, it was but a question away.  

John Her insight was something he didn't mind hearing. Uplifting. Assuring. Reminding him of everything he needed to know to go forward in a world that seemed to despise them together. He got what he really wanted at her declaration of love. Arms slipping around her as he slipped onto his back. Allowing her ontop. A hand reaching up to cradle her face. Those four walls protecting his sentiment. "I love you to." The man confessed, loving her in a way that he thought was lost on him.

Spencer As his arms came around her, she felt him shifting there to his back, to which she easily went with him, without allowing him to slip from within her.  Feeling his hand there to the side of her face, her eyes fell closed as she leaned slightly into the palm of his hand; fitting considering all she had just said.  As her eyes lifted once more, she caught his own hues just in time for that sentiment to pass his lips.  Words she would never take for granted from the man as she knew how much they meant, perhaps more so than even her own could hold.  Feeling the need to respond to it, to stay blatantly she loved him, and yet she already had.  “I love you.”  She repeated, only left to pray it wasn’t awkward, but if nothing else it was honest.  Certain all the times he hadn’t heard it in his life, hearing it twice back to back couldn’t hurt the man.  Bringing her hand up to rest over his there at her face, she slightly shifted against him, finding a slow grind in her hips as to not lose the momentum he designed.

John She was dealing with a man not used to being loved. Not feeling lovable. Loving those who claimed they could never love him in return do to various reasons. Exhaling slow, he met her eyes at her reminder. As if willing him to believe her. Feeling her seek out his lips. Pressed to hers as his free hand found her side. Feeling those rotations both within his hand and deep within her. Those warm and tender walls awash with her nectar. Thoroughly soaking him through and through.

Spencer A fleeting kiss, as it could not be sustained in that position without risking interruption from a little one within, she’d steal that moment before she was lifting to a fully seated position over him.  A position she had come to know well over the last few weeks, as it was truly just the most comfortable for the both of them, though she couldn’t wait until the day she could feel him over top of her once more.  A slow circular path of her hips to his, quite unsure if she should have let those last words pass her lips again, abusing the freedom they had there in the privacy of their room.  Slipping her hand down from his there at the side of her face as she pressed her hand against his abdomen as she shifted against him.  Nothing but love radiating through her eyes in a place that previously held pure lust for the man.  Clearly on an up and down ride before him as she couldn’t stick to one mindset or the other, both having so much within that she somehow wanted them both all at the same time.  A deep breath at her lips causing a sharp pain to her ribs, though she’d mask it as best she could.  Their previous position seeming to apply pressure to her other side, allowing that bit of relief there not afforded by their present, and yet it was without complaint from the woman as she slipped her free hand into his.  Lacing her fingers through his, allowing herself the ability to shift back into another place should he so desire it.  “You want me like this or you want me to fuck you?”  She asked, clearly leaving it up to him entirely as she could not be trusted to make this decision, teetering somewhere between the two with her newfound control over the situation.  Even with him on his back beneath her, giving him the power to will her how he wished.

John "Fuck me." He answered without hesitation, still the same man he always was desiring the best of what she got. Pacing himself might be the best idea but not his favorite one. No, he loved her ontop and taking control. Doing what she did best. Making him look clumsy in comparison. Never one to like being on his back and out of power, he had learned just how rewarding it was when he trusted the woman ontop of him.

Spencer His words alone would cause those inner walls to tighten around him at the promise of that which his words held.  Her hand in his clenched tightly as she brought his hand to his own stomach, resting their joined hands there as she trusted him to tense that arm.  Giving her something to pull against as she offered a slow nod of her head.  Loving their intimacy and yet loving the other side of it as well, she now knew he was still every bit the same man he was before her pregnancy, before love, before intimacy.  With no build to her at all, she tightened her upper arm, drawing against the strength of his own arm to drive her hips forward as she shifted against him.  Not giving a moment of pause, she shifted her hips back just as suddenly, her own lips parting as this action created such friction within her, feeling his depth stimulating her in each pass as she drew her hips forward again using that pull at his hand.  

John Feeling that clench somehow, someway, he had to smirk softly. “Felt that.” the man added, completely in tune with her in more ways than he would ever understand. Feeling her shift, actually meaning to cause movement tat time around as he glanced up towards her. Still finding her as hot as ever despite the obvious before he was slightly leaning up on his elbows. Treating himself as both hands found her hips. Feeling the smooth rotation she offered these. Driving a full bite of his bottom lip.

Spencer As his hands took her hips, she couldn’t help but wonder if he wanted a bit of that control back, not that she was complaining in the slightest.  The bite to his lower lip brought forth a smirk at her own, loving the very sight of the man in exactly this position.  Her emotions ranging from completely in love and completely turned on, balancing nowhere and everywhere in between all in the same breath.  “You felt nothing,” she argued, though she couldn’t be quite sure what it was he was speaking to.  Only left to wonder, blissfully unaware of just how her walls had tightened upon the phrase he had previously offered, and truthfully would every time such a thing was said.  Releasing his hand she previously pulled against, opting now for the back of his neck as her source of drive.  Fingernails finding flesh as she reintroduced that which she knew enticed the man to no end as each strong shift of her hips forward was now aided in how deeply she could embed her nails within his flesh.

John “I did.” he answered as she argued, as he wouldn’t have been able to know that clench had happened upon his words if he did not feel it. Feeling her at the back of his neck, the position not quite sustainable unless a pillow was introduced to the back of his neck but enjoying it for the meantime. The blissful embedding of her nails to his skin. Encouraging it as he inhaled deeply. Knowing she’d feel each and every sharp inhale she caused him. His reactions evident and unable to be masked through his entire body.

Spencer The simple cut of her eyes would argue the man as she glared upon him, threatening that he did not know what he was talking about, yet it was suddenly dawning on her that which he had felt.  The hint of a smirk at her lips would give her away as as found that hitch in his breath.  The best place in the world to be as she sat on top of him, nails digging against his neck, eyeing the strongest man in the world fall weak to her.  There was something beyond empowering about it, even if she couldn’t see what it was that he saw there.  Her hips finding a quick pace as she rode against him, that all too familiar rise within her, flashing through her eyes upon the realization of that which was upon her.  Keeping her lips tight, she’d make no mention of it, letting it get to the last second where her thighs tensed, her nails dug deeper, her lips parted in an effort to draw air.  Still not posing that question to him as she let him see with his own eyes what that edge felt like to her.  Holding onto it, gripping it will all of her might, determined not to release until he had told her she could, though without the words posed, purposefully holding herself in this place of pure hell with the promise of ecstasy to come.

John The hot burn of her nails embedded into his skin always had the same response. She had to expect it. Yet, that smirk on her lips told him that she had figured out what all he had felt. so in tune to her that he had figured it out for himself and now she was realizing that connection. Just how strong it was. Feeling the tension in her thighs against his sides. A slight sheen of perspiration across his skin that she had drawn forcibly out of him. Knowing he could not withstand another storm without feeling it with her. She felt entirely too good to withstand and he wanted her entirely to himself in that moment. His own release thundering in his ears as he subtly encouraged the roughness of her pace to get them back to that promise land together.

Spencer “John,” she whispered, her tone evident to that which was on display visually before him.  Drawing her lower lip between her teeth as she attempted to hold out longer.  Her eyes fell shut as she dug her nails down his neck, tearing at his flesh as it gathered beneath her nails.  A visceral cry falling from her lips as the words exploded into existence as though they had never before.  “May i?”  There was no calm respect to them as there had been before.  Instead, they were laced with sheer necessity as her walls began to tremble within, her thighs shaking as no part of her could stop this release even if denied.  She had waited too long, held out too far.  Desperation filled her hues as she felt the warmth of his blood slipping beneath her fingertips.  The last release right there, so thick she could nearly taste it on her tongue, needing that approval all the while knowing even without it, she would be coming apart for him within moments.

John Feeling her against his neck, the burn drove a growl out of him. It was good. Too good. He could never hope to hold out with her doing that as it was the sure fire way to bring him to his knees amongst many other tricks she had learned in their time together. Though he had never blatantly showed her these things, she had discovered them well enough on her own. Hands slipping down to her thighs where he felt the quiver there within the muscle, hearing her question. Holding out. Not giving her permission until he was there right along side of her and just as he felt it there under his skin, he answered. “Cum for me.” less of an answer and more of a demand as his own breath hitched. Knowing she’d brace for what came next.

Spencer Though her walls were already tight around him, they would draw that much tighter as his command left his lips.  Her own lips parted as she fixed her eyes upon his.  If it weren’t enough that she was already clinging to that ledge, those three words would send her over in a rush.  The wait had been tortuous for the woman, already knowing if he should say no, she would have to defy him out of sheer natural forces, but the manner in which those words were delivered, she might never want to hear any other way again.  Her hips continued against him, though each drive forward was driving her insane, up until those words fell from his lips.  No longer needing to hold out for him, her body’s control released against him as those walls pulsated against his own throbbing cock.  Leaning slightly back as her head fell the same, eyes drifting closed as her entire body fell captive to the release of that nectar.  Rushing forth from her to coat him tip to base, keeping the shift of her hips as she drew her hand from the back of his neck.  Cumming harder for him in that moment than she perhaps ever knew possible, driven by the emotional connection existing between the two, sparked in the rougher side he offered her that night.  A cry from her lips as she gave into the full power of that release, making no attempt to hold back as this was his to feel and see, as every bit of it was in direct reaction to the man beneath her.

John He resisted his urge to lift his hips. To push himself more forcibly into her as she did just fine on her own. Patiently having to bide his time as Johnny had not been used to the push and pull. Allowing someone to make him cum instead of forcing himself to. She not only brought him to that but he genuinely enjoyed it as he felt her cumming for him. The sounds she made, the scent of her , the taste of her. All colliding in him for one massively awaited orgasm as he came for her. Pushing the heat of his seed within her warm walls where she’d find an all too familiar feeling nestling within her as he soaked her to the core.

Spencer Unable to fall against him as she ordinarily would have, forced to use what little bit of strength remained within the woman to stay there on top of him should she want to avoid that feeling of vast emptiness that always followed.  She brought her hand to his there at her own hip, lacing her fingers between his as she lowered her head from where she had been leaned back slightly, attempting to gain her breath once more.  It would take but a moment for her to realize she couldn’t maintain this, forcing her to tighten her hand in his, easing off of him as she found her way to his side.  Resting her head in the curve of his shoulder as she drew in breath after breath laced with their joint scent there in the air between them.  “That,” she whispered against his skin, her body limp there beside him as she closed her eyes, coming down from that high he had taken her on.

John Feeling her slipping in beside him, they could no longer pull into one another with her on top of him or he on top of her as they might like yet that wasn’t to be said that they couldn’t figure it out. Feeling her at his shoulder, her whisper noted as he drew in a deep inhale. Chest burning all the while as his hands swept to join at her back. Feeling the heat her own body radiated. A low laugh leaving him. “That.” he agreed wordlessly, a thumbs up forming behind her back.

Spencer “Mhm,” she offered, drawing it out slightly as there was simply no other word or reaction for it from her side of things.  Feeling him pull into her, there on their sides where they had begun the entire thing, she couldn’t help but feel as though they had come full circle.  Stealing her lips to his own, her kiss kept soft, nothing like that which they had just shared.  Her ankle crossing over his as she still tried to get closer even though closer wasn’t much of an option, finding more and more things she would have to look forward to when the 4-6 weeks postpartum were complete and she could be with him in the manner they had been accustomed to over the year prior.  

John Pressing his lips gently back to hers as he still attempted to regular his breathing, feeling her locking closer to him as his hand gently smoothed over her back in a ways resemblant to when he gave her a back massage. The offer standing as he just might do it anyway as he pressed his lips back to hers. Inhaling through his nostrils before he heard his phone vibrate somewhere against the coffee table. A cock of his brow as he pulled back from her gently to only check it. Opening a text message from his brother. Contents within reading “Nice job, Johnboy” causing a deep laugh from the man that drew oddly on his expression given the rarity of it.

Spencer As he drew back to reach for that phone, the intimacy there interrupted for a text message, there was a part of her that wished he hadn’t.  A whine was there at her lips, nothing like those he had drawn from her previously as he opened the text message.  Burying herself there in the curve of his arm, wishing him to just put it down.  It was somewhere in the middle of the night and someone was texting him; not her favorite thing in the world.  As a laugh broke his lips, it sounded foreign to his wife.  She could count on one hand with several fingers left over how many times she’d ever heard him laugh, yet never had she heard one so deeply rooted.  “Someone sending you knock, knock jokes in the middle of the night?”

John Hearing her question, he had to laugh harder as it was something of the opposite. Amazed by even himself at how funny he was finding this as he placed the phone back down. Trying to keep it together as he looked at her. A moment of peace in the laughter before he was back at it. Hiding his face in his neck. “No.” he answered honestly with a low sigh as its conclusion, feeling like he hadn’t done that for a good while. “It was Judas.”

Spencer As he curled back into her, her hand was there to the back of his neck as he took refuge there within the curve of her own.  His laugh finally ceasing, she couldn’t help but smile softly.  As he confirmed it was his brother, she couldn’t imagine what Judas had said that would bring forth such a hearty laugh from John, and yet a part of her didn’t want to know.  A hum found her lips as she pressed a kiss against his shoulder.  “Mmm, and he made you laugh by sending a dick pic?”  She asked, all seriousness therein her tone, not quite sure the intimacy could actually be regained now, though a part of her had quite enjoyed hearing the man truly laugh.  

John “Eww.” he hummed, nose nudging to her shoulder where he pressed a gentle kiss. He shook his head. Sadly, he had already seen it. Most people had seen what his brother had packing several times over. Nothing could really shock him anymore. As his hand slipped up her back, his fingers curling gently over the back of her neck. “No, he said ‘nice job, Johnboy.’” He explained to her as he inhaled their mingled scent on her skin.

Spencer “Are you kidding me?”  The words escaped her lips before she could begin to stop them.  Despite John’s best efforts there to draw her back into him, to regain something that had been lost at the sounding of his phone, she was now officially gone.  With all of the space provided to them by Judas, she had been more than grateful to him for it, but this had struck the hormonal side of the woman entirely wrong.  She was made to believe they had their own space there, a safe haven away, and yet Judas had heard her… Biting her lip to keep herself from saying anything further, feeling his fingertips to the back of her neck as she attempted to fall into that feeling, though already every muscle in her body seemed to tense up once again.  Feeling as though they had no privacy, the space felt smaller and smaller by the moment.  In their apartment, she was sure people heard them on the regular, but never had anyone texted to congratulate John on the sound of his wife’s orgasm.  It felt like a violation, one that was not sitting well with her in the slightest.  “Can we please get out of here?”  She stated quickly, not meaning to make plans in the future, not meaning to get the house sooner, not meaning to find a hotel that afternoon.  She was speaking quickly, and in the present, in that very moment despite the dead of night outside.

John Hearing her get serious on a matter that seemed hilarious to him given the fact that he was usually the one listening to it. A tour bus was a tiny place and he had come to be so used to it that it didn’t even phase him anymore. Yet, her response had her tensing up and it had the man slightly confused. Her question caused a tilt of his head. Yet, there wasn’t a whole lot he wouldn’t do to appease her in the moment. She was 9 months pregnant. “If you really want.” he returned, willing to appease her though he couldn’t help but think that this would be a moment they looked back on and laughed when she was a little less pregnant.

Spencer It wouldn’t make a bit of sense to her in a few weeks as to why she felt this way, but something about another man hearing her cum for him in the manner in which she had bothered her to the very core.  Though a moment before, she would have said this was the best end to a stressful night, she now felt the weight of the stress before mixed with the addition to knowing Judas had heard her.  Heard her.  All of her. Withholding nothing from her husband.  Violated.  “You really think that was appropriate?”  she asked, suddenly pulling back as she put the ball in his court.  He had laughed at it.  He had laughed at the fact that another man heard his wife cum.  She couldn’t wrap her mind around it as she sat up on the bed, her heart racing at the very idea, not to mention the fact that looking him in the face was out the damned door.

John Hearing her question, he tilted his head. Understanding there for a moment her logic. That it was meant for him. He could get that and if it was anyone other than Judas, he probably would have killed them. Yet, it was his brother. Those were boundaries the two never crossed and never had and never would. They didn’t play in one another’s oatmeal and Judas respected him enough to understand how protective he was over such things. “No.” he answered as she sat up on the bed, fingers still brushing over her skin as he wouldn’t let her go without his contact until she completely turned away from him. “But it is okay…I’ve heard Judas doin’ shit so many times through our lives and this is the first time he’s ever heard me. Literally hundreds of time so it wasn’t anything personal. It’s just that he finally caught me on one.”

Spencer As he sat up with her, his touch in constant contact with her, she had to give the man at least a little credit there for trying, though there was no reasoning with her in this state.  Feeling her blood boil within her, all she could feel was completely violated in this, as though Judas had heard perhaps the most personal, vulnerable, raw moment of the woman’s life in something that should only truly ever be given to John.  Hearing him go on about Judas’ endeavors, it didn’t even things out.  It didn’t make it any better.  “I can go put some clothes on if he wants to come in here and give you a high five.  Maybe bring in one of those ring girl signs, rate the fucking orgasm on a scale of 1 to 10.”  Sarcasm dripped from her, though not a single word of it was spoken with humor or ease.  Livid didn’t cover it as she glanced over at the dresser, wondering just how long it would take the two of them to get their shit and get out of there entirely.  

John Hearing her go on, he knew there was nothing he could say here. He’d just have to weather the storm with her and if she wanted to go? Well, he’d be happy to go ahead and make this happen. Shaking his head to suggest that he didn’t agree with this idea of hers no matter how sarcastically. He was standing up. Pulling his boxers back up as he found his jeans as well. Yanking them up before he was finding his duffle bag not so far off. Opening up her drawers first to collect a few items of clothes for her that would last a few days. Remembering the essentials before he’d do the same for himself.

Spencer As John fell silent on her, leaving her there on the bed, she couldn’t decide if he was going along with this because she wanted it or if he felt like there was an actual offense done here.  The last thing she wanted was to fight with him after everything else, but she still couldn’t quite shake the feeling of that violation.  Standing up from the bed, she walked over to where he was at the dresser, bringing her hands to either of his sides, pressing her face against his back.  “it’s supposed to be just yours, John,” she whispered, finding that vulnerability as she spoke the truth against his back, wanting him to understand her.  She knew she wasn’t thinking straight, but hoped he could at least give her that much.  A few months before, she could have easily slipped between him and that dresser, but instead she was at his back, relying on him to turn into her if he felt so inclined to do so.  “Please don’t be mad.  Of all of the things in the entire world that could and have gone wrong today, I really, really don’t want you to be mad at me.  I just don’t like the idea of him, or anyone for that matter, taking what’s yours.”

John Not taking offense in the least, he was just willing to go with her to make her comfortable. He felt her at his sides as she spoke, telling him not to be mad though he wasn't. "You're always going to be mine." He stated honestly, "no one hearing or saying or doing anything is going to change that. Not even you." He reminded her simply, though maybe understanding that she was feeling this way because she knew her husband to be a man who had never had the best things. Not even the 2nd or the 3rd. What little he did have was usually taken from him as well. "I'm not mad though. I just want you to be in a place you feel comfortable. Even if that ain't here."

Spencer Hearing him speak, she nodded her head, slipping off to the side of him to press the drawer closed.  Needing to see his face, to take his hand.  Slipping her hand into the strap of the duffle, she took it from him, easing it to the floor as she attempted to draw his full focus.  “I think it’s all just weighing on me.  We’ve been here a long time… and I know the house, and I know it’ll be soon… Are you comfortable here?  You’re okay with the text message high five?”  She asked, her tone not nearly as angry as she shifted her concern to him, literally using him to attempt to gauge her own emotions as she couldn’t trust herself in that moment, only knowing that beyond all else, she needed him.  She could be wherever he was, as she had proven over the last several months since they had been displaced from their own place.  A woman of complete independence, she had struggled with this arrangement from the beginning, just wanting to feel that she and John were just as they had always been.  They didn’t need anyone but one another, so when the decision was made for her here, she had gone with it for as long as she could before this would tip the scale for her.  “How soon do you think things could go through on the house?”  she asked, trying to even herself out there, trying to convince herself she could do anything for a little while as she would also advise their child one day.  It was temporary, even if the feeling of violation had been something she feared would sit upon her for far more than just the immediate future.

John "They agree to the terms, we sign the papers...it's ours." He stated, as the house was move in ready and had been on the market for a bit. Would there be things that they'd have to change and customize? Sure, but that would have to come along the way. An unforeseen bonus to not going with a fix-me up as he had originally expected. Looking down towards her, left without purpose there at the dresser. He shrugged. "He means well." The woman explained, the two had been close for so long that it was difficult to understand some new boundaries. "He ain't out to hurt us, Spence." He reminded her, as seemingly everyone else was.

Spencer Drawing in a deep breath, she nodded her head in agreement.  She didn’t know who was and who wasn’t anymore, to be honest.  She never would have thought her father would have been either, and yet that had proven otherwise in the last few hours.  Trust was going to be an issue for the woman, more so than it ever had been before, and for that she would hope he could understand.  Slipping there before him, her hand finding his side as her other hand slipped into his.  “Take me back to bed?”  She asked, her way of telling him they didn’t have to go anywhere.  They could wait out the response from his offer for the house bought with money her father intended to break her heart with.  Everything feeling foreign to her outside of the bond of just the two of them at this point in time, though she could only hope he would understand.  “I want to sleep with you,” she offered, something neither of them seemed to be able to do in quite some time, though she held most of the fault in that on herself.  But now, she wanted nothing more than to simply get into any bed with that man, hold as close as she could to him, and try to pretend they were somewhere in the near future where things didn’t feel so heavy.

John "Then let's." With an edge of confidence that was unusual at the suggestion of sleeping together as the two were typically not successful at his endeavor at last check. Feelings her hand in his. Using his fingers to fill in the space of hers, his own hand at her side and he walked her back to the bed. "I think that is what the craziest part is...attempting to buy me out when I can whisper less than a sentence to my brother and never have to work again, you know?" He asked, supposing someone had not done their homework very well on his family as supposed. Walking her back to the bed. "Try all they like...John James ain't goin' no where."

Spencer A weak smile passed her lips as he agreed to take her back to bed.  Allowing him to guide her there if only to remain close to him, feeling as though they had gone through entirely too much as of late and needed something calm.  Dipping her head there against his upper arm as they walked the short space to the bed where she’d pause to meet his eyes in time to hear his confirmation that he wasn’t going anywhere.  Still not yet realizing the full weight of all that she had done, effectively abandoning her entire family and life before him, she could still say without hesitation the very same words to him.  “Nowhere without his wife, that is,” she added, assuring the man that he would not wake to find her gone, nor would he find her gone in a week or a month or a decade.  Lifting to her toes, her free hand finding the side of his face as she pressed a soft kiss to his lips before she’d break from him to ease there into the bed, determined to actually sleep with him in a way it seemed they hadn’t done in months.  Once she was there in her place, all except his arm around her, she was looking up at him from where she laid, tilting her head to the side to suggest he join her sooner rather than later.

John Watching her slip into bed and look at him, his eyes followed hers as he slipped in behind her. Finding it funny how the most prep work to happen in this bed was actually sleeping that night as he slipped one arm under the pillow under her head. His free one around her, hand protectively placed over her stomach. A gentle kiss to the back of her shoulder blade. "Nowhere without my wife..." he repeated, quite liking the sound of that.

Spencer Feeling him find a place there behind her, managing to find a position the two hadn’t tried in an attempt to actually sleep together, she couldn’t help but smile as she glanced back over her shoulder to meet his eyes as she stole another kiss from his lips.  With his hand there to her stomach, she brought her own there over top of his, letting her fingers rest against the tops of his, bonding their family there together as they found a conclusion to a sleepless night where perhaps they could actually get at least a few hours together.  “I love you,” she offered there against his lips before she was turning her head back properly to rest against the pillow with his arm supporting underneath as she closed her eyes.  Denying the parts of herself that wanted to run, deciding to face another day there with him, though a part of her would worry what her next face to face with his brother might look like.  

John "I love you." He returned, words no longer sounding too odd or painful yet knowing he could hardly make a complete and total habit. Those were for them and them alone knowing the power they contained past that bedroom. Watching her close her eyes, lips pressing up against her neck. Only knowing that the day in their own bedroom wasn't too far away with a baby in the bassinet and the rest of the world as outsiders past their door.

Spencer With the words returned for the last time that night, she knew she was getting a little too free with them, yet she knew better than to utter them beyond private quarters.  Code words and exchanged glances would suffice beyond the confines of a shared private room, and yet they would speak just as loudly as those words did at times.  Feeling his lips there to the side of her neck, she couldn’t possibly feel any more at home without being in their own home than she did in that moment.  Assuring herself silently that they had been through the worst of it all as she drifted off into what might stand to be the best night of sleep the woman had in months there wrapped within his arms.

John Feeling the woman grow comfortable, lax and finally asleep in his arms, he was relieved due to it. Knowing she had more than earned that sleep and needed it. He stayed still and where he was. Feeling her breathing beside him and watching her until the task made his own eyes heavy and forced him out into his own sleep. Marking a true occasion for the two being able to fall asleep together now as if the reason for that break did not lay under a protective hand.

Spencer The next few hours, the woman didn’t move.  It wouldn’t be until the sun came up, shining through the window that she would finally start to stir, yet only to turn into him instead of her back being against him.  Refusing morning as the sleep was just too good, she could stay only for a certain amount of time before nature would have other plans for her.  A grumble there at her lips as she slipped his arm from around her.  Having had enjoyed that time there with him a little too much, making it all the harder for her to get up out of the bed, knowing it to be next to impossible to get back to that place once more if she were to abandon it.  As her feet hit the floor, she found her shirt there by her feet, bending down to pick it up, slipping the fabric over her head as she made her way into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.  A few minutes later, she’d return, entirely awake with fresh breath as she found her way back into the bed, yet laying there to her own side of the mattress, staring at the sleeping man beside her, stealing that glimpse of him as he truly appeared most at peace when his eyes were closed.

John
While she had entered the living, Johnny was caught in his own head. Left there. A dream eclipsing him yet it was closer to reality than many would admit. Walking the streets, he crossed one of the dark back alleys in the section that his grandparents had once lived. Familiar roads and routes from childhood. Hand heavy with the handgun within it. Crossing one alley to the next, chasing a voice. He heard his name on the man's lips. Infuriating him for reasons he could not quite understand yet he entered the dead end alley where the owner of the voice stood. Speaking to the brick wall. Back to him. 'Johnny James, Johnny James.' With an unbearable sneer and a taste for blood. Johnny landed the barrel into the man's back and pulled the trigger. Watching him timber to his face. Unmoving. Dead. Johnny reached down, hand on his shoulder. Rolling him over and it was the face of the man that startled him out of sleep. Eyes jolting open with a sharp breath as he was pulling himself up from the bed into a seated position with no ability to tell himself what was real and what was not.

Spencer
In peace, Spencer had laid, watching her husband sleep in a manner that had been just as peaceful as what she felt her own had been, until it wasn’t. As he took a sharp breath, jerking to a seated position on the bed, she was quick to his side or at least as quick as she could be in her present state. “Hey,” she quickly offered, her hand coming against his, easily able to establish he was coming out of a dream, yet no way to know what it was. “You alright?” she asked, already seeming to know the answer to that question, yet it was the most obvious to ask. Disappointment settled within the pit of her stomach as they had finally found that rest together only for him to wake in a far off state from the serenity she’d hoped he’d join her in that morning.

John
Hearing the voice, he was quickly pressing his face into his palms. Shaking his head as if to shake it all off. To get the vision out of his head. A sharp breath. Combating it as he felt her hand to his. Hardly able to look at the woman as the face he had seen was the man that she called father. Feeling guilty for doing something he had not done. "Fuck." He answered upon her question, not even able to lift his head.

Spencer
Easing just a bit closer to the man, she heard the word he uttered against his palms. Pressing her lips there to his exposed shoulder, her free hand there against his back. “Hey, it was just a dream,” she assured, not quite certain she knew what she was comforting him from exactly, but still there for him regardless of what it was. Another press of her lips against his shoulder, not wanting to crowd the man, yet feeling as though she needed to be right there at the same time. “Everything’s fine,” she promised, as it was absolutely that. “Here, let me get you something to drink,” she offered, not quite sure if that would be helpful to him in that moment or not, but offering just the same as she began to slip away to do just that.

John
"No, no. I'm fine." He insisted as she went to get him something to drink. Not wanting to inconvenience her any further as he was sure he had startled her. Forcing his hands from his face as he reached down for her wrist. Not wanting her out of his sight. "I'm fine." He repeated, as if trying to convince himself as he sighed low. Eyes meeting the features of his wife and not the daughter of the man he had just murdered in his dreams.

Spencer
His first refusal would not stop her as she was already easing in that direction. As his hand came to her wrist, repeating again that he was fine, it was quickly known she was not to leave that bed. Drawing a breath, she could only wonder if something had happened to the baby in his dream, though she wouldn’t dare ask it. Drawing her lower tier between her teeth, she nodded her head as she moved back towards him. Managing her wrist free of him, her hand came against his back, willing him into her neck as best she could as her free hand found his. “You want to talk about it?” She offered, promising herself she’d pry no further if he was to refuse, though she had truly never seen the man quite like this before.

John He found himself ever grateful that the woman had more of her mother's looks about her. He wasn't sure he'd be able to see that same set of eyes back at him in that moment. After he had pulled that trigger, no sympathy for the life he had taken. Just the fact that he had hurt Spence. Leaning closer into her, he shook his head. He didn't want to talk. Maybe one day, knowing the elephant memory of his wife would have this conversation repeated. The contents of the dream had been downright disturbing after all. "No."

Spencer If not for the way he turned into her, leaning closer, allowing her to be there for him, his spoken word may have turned her off completely.  Yet, he was there against her and she would be there for him in whatever form he needed her to be.  Should he wish to talk, she’d listen.  Should he just want to sit there, she’d just sit with him.  “Okay,” she offered softly, not pressing the man, nor would she bring it up again. It was clear he was upset, which wouldn’t quite sit right with her, but she’d not take away her presence either.  Her hand there gently rubbing his back, staying just as close to him as he willed her to be.  “It was just a dream,” she whispered, the only thing she could truly offer to try to comfort him, reminding him whatever it was he had seen had not been real.  She was there, the baby was fine, basing her assumption on it was something to do with one or both.  

John But it wasn't fine. He pulled that trigger so easily and he'd do it again in the real world for hurting her yet he'd only hurt her further. He'd never quite understand the bonds that tied between a child and a father, between a father and child? Yes, but never the other way around. Having no father of his own, he'd never quite understand her bond to his yet he saw it strong enough. Realizing she shouldn't have been comforting him. He nodded. A strong inhale as he leaned up, brushing his fingers over his head. "How'd you sleep?"

Spencer Feeling him slip from her, she could only hope it wasn’t anything she had said though in truth, she hadn’t said much.  His strong breath was met with a softer one of her own, her head turning to the side to look at him but a moment later.  A hum found her lips at that question from his.  It had been a long time since she could say the words that were about to slip her lips.  “I slept great,” she assured, after a long pregnancy filled with many sleepless nights.  The sleep she did get had been barely enough to pull her through the next six to eight hours before she could get another hour or so of sleep to do the same.  But something about the night before with him, the emotional rollercoaster of it, the intimacy, all culminated in the woman finally coming to meet a restful few hours of sleep that would be more than enough to bring her through the next day.  Knowing not to ask him the same in return given the condition he awoke in, she instead brought her hand to his thigh.  “Was thinking about heading out for a while this morning… maybe get some things for Rhys.”  A lift of her eyes was evident as she said the child’s name, no longer referring to him as ‘the baby’ but assigning that name to him every chance she got.  “Think you can swing a few hours while we wait to hear about that offer?”

John "Good." Surprised to hear she had gotten a good nights rest but relieved by it, he knew sleep had not been easy for the two of them. But her getting some rest went a long way and he was quite happy to know it. Rubbing his hands over his face as he slowly stirred to a more eased state of relaxation. Hearing her speak, not sure he'd be invited, he nodded when he was offered it. "Yeah...just gonna' need a coffee stop." He warned, a harder rub at his eyes until the blue was slightly bloodshot and irritated.

Spencer Watching him dig there at his eyes, she wished there was something she could do, yet found herself to be quite empty handed on the topic.  She didn’t know what it was he had experienced, now figuring her best route was to distract him away from it with the idea of shopping for Rhys, for his room, for their home.  Perhaps putting all hope in the idea John’s offer would be accepted, trying to find something good to focus on as there was simply too much of the other.  “Deal, as long as there’s an apple fritter in it for me,” she teased, though she was serious all at the same time.  Her pesky morning addiction throughout the course of the pregnancy, already able to taste it on her tongue though it was nowhere to be had.  Pressing a kiss there to his shoulder, with a plan now in place, she rose to her feet off the edge of the bed to start the process to get herself ready.  Pulling out clothes out of the dresser, she rested them at the end of the bed, her feet finding that duffle bag from the night before.  Looking down at it, she couldn’t help but be reminded of just what that man was willing to do for her, even in the middle of the night.  A wave of emotion raced through her, though for now it was contained in a simple smile as she turned to look back at him there on the bed.  “You have anything going on today you have to be back for?”  She asked, attempting to gauge what their day could be, as though she could actually handle shopping for hours on end at this point.  Figuring it would be the goal, to attempt to knock out most everything Rhys would need since neither of them had done much of that in the prior months.  Now sitting there at the due date and a couple of days beyond, she knew time was of the essence and it was time they get some things going before this man decided to make his long awaited arrival.  

John Humming at the mention of apple fritters as it sounded entirely too good to him at the moment coupled with the idea of coffee. Knowing he might be able to sway her with some decaf as he'd need the full hit with the day the woman seemed to be planning. While he had nothing against shopping for his son, getting the things they needed, the idea of hanging out in a Babies R Us day led him to the conclusion that he'd find a rocking chair to fall asleep in without the coffee. Hearing her question, he stood from the bed. A shake of his head. "Not that I can think of. Just that call."

Spencer Watching as he rose from the bed, the smile on her face was endless.  To put it lightly, she was happy.  They were hopefully to have a house, soon.  They would have something of their own once more with a little man to begin the forming of their family, only to be joined by River as soon as they could get everything in line.  Although her life before John had come apart at the seams, the most recent betrayal of her father still lying there somewhere beneath the surface, it seemed their lives together were only getting better.  “I hope that call comes sooner rather than later,” she confessed, though not holding any amount of that to John, knowing it was beyond his control.  As she dressed, her eyes were frequently stealing glances at the man, needing to be sure he was alright without actually pushing him, a fine line to be had in which she could not rely on her interrogating gut instincts that said to pin him down and force him to talk.  She had to trust him and trust in that he trusted her.  If he wanted to talk, it was there.  But until then, she would go full speed ahead at something she had hoped would bring him at least some joy.

John "Yeah, me too." He agreed, walking to the dresser where a shower was in order. Tucking a fresh pair of boxers under his arm along with a t-shirt and some jeans. He was letting that dream go in hopes of a more fulfilling day. Glancing back towards her as she seemed happy. Radiating off of her in troves and he was happy for her happiness. She deserved it and it was about time that they got some of it. "You showering?"

Spencer Standing before him, halfway dressed, it would dawn on the woman that she had not showered.  Her mind had taken that track of getting him out of the house and getting some things for the baby, thus throwing off her entire typical morning routines he had come to know.  Her hands found the elastic waist of the jeans she wore, tugging them back down with a grumble at her lips.  Entirely too hard on herself about these things slipping her mind as she wasn’t quite used to being so damned forgetful.  “Yeah, I need to…” she offered, though there was no  possible way to make it as though she had not forgotten.  

John "I mean you don't have to...you smell fine." He teased, honestly, she smelled quite good and he liked that she smelled like him. Her own intricate form of pheromones and pregnancy hormones. "I just stink and I know I do." He commented, knowing he had stunk the night before. Opening the door to the bathroom, he laid his clothes on the counter before he went for the sink. Already knowing he'd need a quick shave before the fact thus buying her a few minutes to debate her options.

Spencer “I smell like you, so if you stink, I stink,” she teased as he disappeared within the bathroom, finding it quite comical that he thought she smelled fine when her own scent was mixed with his.  Although she had spaced out a bit there, she appreciated that he wouldn’t directly call her on it, instead a little mention bringing her back to a place where she was in the right headspace to remember that which was customary.  Coming off duty entirely had been an adjustment for the woman, losing the true routine she had been a part of for years upon years.  There was a part of her that craved that work again, and yet there was another part of her that was truly enjoying this time off where she could just prepare for the birth of their child and look forward to weeks at home with him after.  Drawing out another pair of jeans and panties from the dresser, laying them with the shirt and bra she had laid out, she gave John a moment to himself in the bathroom before she’d come in, placing her clothes tight to the side of his, making them fit as best she could as to not push his off in the process.  “Tell me one thing you really would like to come home with tonight.  The one thing you are really looking forward to buying.”  Her request clearly based in making sure he was getting to actively be a part of the things he held interest in.  “Like, the glider,” she spoke honestly as she could already envision the man half asleep holding Rhys in one, a light rocking to the furniture as he dozed off.  A smile met her features as she pressed a kiss to the back of his shoulder, unable to resist such contact with such a peaceful image there in her mind.

Drake had looked down after telling me his history with Honey, and he’s never not been able to look me in the eye before. Everything made more sense now.

“Drake, it’s okay if you loved her,” I laid my hand on his.

“I didn’t love her.”

I sighed, “Well, you cared for her right? And I don’t mean in love, there’s a difference. I just mean love.”

“I didn’t have either for her… I just cared, a lot.”

“Okay… if you say so. But, it’s okay if you felt that way.”

“No, it’s not, Selena.. I was stupid. I was already let down, and I was too trusting and let it happen again. And I stupidly kept her here for my own selfish reason and now I know something is going on.. again.”

“I’ll beat her ass for you,” I looked at my nails.

He looked up at me and chuckled, “Stop it. You’re too sweet for all of that.”

“Sweet is one thing, but she’s just really disrespectful. And.. she hurt you.”

“But she didn’t hurt you… you don’t have to lay a finger on her. I don’t want you to.”

“Why? Are you protecting her or something?”

“Na… I just can’t have you touching somebody who isn’t even close to your level. I don’t want you ever getting your hands dirty with that. I forbid you to. Got it?”

I blushed and bit my bottom lip, a smile still forming, “I got it, papi.”

“I think I need a kiss, though,” he smirked.

I laughed, “Oh, yea?”

“Yea,” the cutest, widest smile was plastered onto his face.

I softly grabbed his face by his jaw, and planted a gentle kiss on his lips.

He looked at me as I kept my face close to his, “Are you sure you don’t want to have my babies yet?”

I giggled, “I’m sure of that. No matter how much you mean to me, I’m gonna need a ring on this finger, before there’s a baby in my tummy,” I sat up straight again.

He held the bong to his mouth and inhaled, and held it in his lungs before releasing his smoke into the air, “How high do you feel right now?”

I giggled, “Very high, how about you?” I grabbed the bong and repeated his movements.

“I feel the same way, you know what that means, right?”

“No, what?”

“You’re making us food.”

I giggled, “Now? Drake by the time we actually go to bed, I’m gonna be up at like 4 in the afternoon. That is not okay.”

“You do know you’re allowed to call me Aubrey if you’d like.”

“I am?”

“Yes, only if you want to.”

“I do, Aubrey,” I smiled.

He smirked and kissed on my neck, “You know how to make tacos?”

I laughed, “Of course,” I got up, “Come with me to the kitchen.”

He got up with me, “You ever thought about having sex while eating tacos?”

I shook my head, wondering if he’s always this ridiculous when he’s intoxicated, “That sounds very… unsettling.”

He laughed, “Unsettling?”

“Yea,” I grabbed his hand as I walked downstairs, “All that movement while I’m eating? Doesn’t seem like it’ll sit good with my stomach… or anybody’s for that matter.”

“See you’re thinking about it all wrong.. don’t think of all the moving you’re doing while you’re eating, think of all the pleasure.”

I led him to the kitchen, “Nope.. I can’t. I can’t eat unless I’m sitting still.”

“I don’t understand you.”

I laughed, “I don’t understand you either,” I searched his freezer for ground beef.

“Misunderstand me all you like, as long as you understand you’re having my babies.”

“I’m not even your girlfriend.. why would I ever be your baby momma?”

“Who said anything about you being just a baby momma?”

I blushed, “Stop,” I found what I was looking for, and put it in the microwave to defrost.

“Let things flow,” he pulled on my arm, bringing me to his body. He wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling his face into my neck.

I woke up at 4:24 p.m., and Aubrey was out of his bed. I checked my phone, as I only had one text. A text from an unknown number.

Good morning, beautiful.

I wrinkled my eyebrows as I responded,

Who’s this?

Soon enough, I got a response,

Christian 😎

I blushed, for some reason and I saved his name exactly the way he had sent it to me.

Selena: Well, thank you for the compliment Christian, and Good Afternoon to you… sorry I just woke up.

Christian 😎: Yea, I know you work all night. How’d you sleep?

Aubrey walked into the room, “The boys are downstairs.. want to come down? Or do you want to stay in here?”

“I’ll stay up here. They heard us fucking yesterday. I don’t want them to see me.”

He chuckled, “They don’t care.. want me to tell them to go? So it can be just us? They wanted to chill but Ima see them later anyway.”

“No, no.. you have your fun. I don’t want to mess that up.”

He squinted his eyes at me, “I’ll tell them to go in an hour.”

“Why? I’ll stay up here till it’s time for work.. I don’t care.”

“But I care. I wanna be with you for a little, without them. I’ll make sure they’re gone in an hour,” he leaned down to kiss my forehead.

I locked my phone because I didn’t want him to be upset with me over Christian, even though it was just friendly texting.

“You look sexy as hell, by the way,” he went in his drawer and grabbed his phone charger.

“What? I didn’t even brush my teeth.. my hair’s probably a mess, and-”

“You’re natural right now… I love that shit. Don’t shower till they leave. I would like to join you,” and with that he walked out.

I blushed and playfully rolled my eyes. He knew how to let me know how attractive I was to him. And he didn’t allow me to disagree. I loved it.

Selena: Like a baby.. how about you?

Christian 😎: Alright… football practice this morning. So I didn’t sleep exactly like a baby.

Selena: Lol.. football.. nice. What does a future NFL player want to do with a stripper?

Christian 😎: Wife her.

Selena: Lmao, that was cute… we can’t do too much of this flirting, you know.

Christian 😎: Why not? 😕

Selena: I told you.. I have somebody.

Christian 😎: Why are you being loyal to a nigga who may not be loyal to you?

Selena: I don’t think I can do otherwise… I’m sorry.

Christian 😎: This nigga is real lucky…  you’re a woman who’s down for her man. Hope he don’t mess it up. And if he does… you know where to go.

Selena: And if he never messes it up, we can always stay friends.

Christian 😎: If being friends is my only way of speaking to you, then so be it.

Selena: That’s sweet… and it’s cool that you respect it.

Christian 😎: Always will.. but I have class right now, so I gotta go. I’ll drop by the club tonight. Meet me by the bar?

Selena: By the bar 😊… see you later.

His responses stopped. He’s a really sweet guy. But I couldn’t do to Drake what he did to me and Honey. He knows Christian. And messing with them both would be really low for me. And Drake’s been loyal to me too… at least to my knowledge. And I hope my knowledge is correct.

I heard him and his friends’ loud voices and tons of laughter over my movie. I was watching The Last Dragon, and I kept having to raise the volume in order to hear it through the noise.

As the ending of the movie came near, I noticed the house grew quiet.

Minutes later, Aubrey came inside the room, “You didn’t shower yet, right?”

“No, you told me to wait for you.”

He smiled, “Good girl.”

I rolled my eyes playfully, “Don’t ‘good girl’ me, I’m not a dog.”

He smirked, walking into the bathroom. I could hear him turning the water on. But it wasn’t the sound of a shower, it was the sound of the hot tub faucet.

I got up, and went into the bathroom, as I watched him put a 'relaxation’ soap inside the water.

“You want to have sex in the tub?”

“Selena,” he turned to me after putting the bottle of soap down, “I know I’m not the perfect man, but not everything I do with you has to be about sex.”

I wrinkled my eyebrows, “What did you do? Are you fucking someone else?”

He laughed lightly, “No. Is that hard for you to believe?”

“Yes. You’re probably one of the most selfish people I know. What are you doing this for?”

“For that reason right there. So you won’t think those things about me.”

I squinted at him before sighing, “Okay.”

“I don’t want to see those clothes on you when I get back,” he walked out the bathroom.

I smiled and rolled my eyes. I undressed myself, not knowing if he wanted me to go straight in or not, so I waited.

He came back, and completely naked, “Do I look like a Greek sculpture or no?”

I laughed the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time. He was definitely getting too comfortable with me, but I liked it.

He playfully frowned, “No?”

I giggled, “You look better, papi.”

“You promise?”

I observed his swollen, muscular arms, “You can’t just take my word for it?”

He got into the tub and sat down, “I don’t think so,” he motioned me to follow him.

I did the same, and sat on the opposite end.

Aubrey stroked my legs, “So, how’d you sleep?”

“It was great, actually. I’m starting to think your bed feels better than mines,” I giggled.

“What’d you dream about?” His hands traveled to my foot, as he massaged it.

“Uh… well, I don’t remember.”

“You don’t remember what you dreamt?”

“I don’t. That doesn’t happen to you?”

“It does. I just don’t want you to be lying because you don’t want to tell me.”

I rolled my eyes and smirked, “I’m not. What’d you dream about?”

“This.”

I wrinkled my eyebrows, “Really?”

“Yea. I dreamt of us in here together.”

“So that’s why you’re being all sweet today? Because of a dream? Aubrey, be honest.. what’d you do?”

“Nothing. I can’t be good to you?”

“You’re only good to me when you want something.”

“Stop that.. that isn’t true. There are a lot of things I do for you that I don’t do for nobody else.”

“Okay.. okay. I don’t want to argue with you. I want to enjoy this with you.”

He smiled softly, “So, you’ve never been in love before?”

“Not at all… why?”

“It’s just shocking. I mean.. look at you. How hasn’t another man tried to have you before me?”

“They’ve tried.. I just had no interest.”

He smirked, “Does that make me special?”

I smirked back, “Un poquito, papi.”

He hissed, going to massage my other foot, “Don’t start that Spanish shit, I’m not trying to fuck you today.”

I laughed, “Me speaking in Spanish will make you want to fuck me?”

He didn’t answer my question, instead he winked at me and focused on massaging my foot.

“So.. like how did you know you were in love with Zoe?”

“Well… I couldn’t stop thinking about her. She was on my mind the second I woke up, and I had to talk to her before bed. Kissing her was my favorite thing to do and I would go crazy if I saw any man messing with her. Being without her drove me even more crazy, whenever we’d get into arguments. I just needed her. At all times.”

I nodded, “That seems really… sweet to have that connection with someone.”

“It was.. come sit on my lap.”

I smiled, and crawled onto his lap, my back facing him. The foaming bubbles were getting all over my collarbone.

He kissed my jaw before rubbing his hand slowly up and down my side, “I used to do this with Zoe, actually.”

At first I felt like he was doing this because he missed his ex girlfriend and needed me to fill in. Then when I realized that maybe he just might be doing this because he cares for me just as much as he cared for his ex, I didn’t do anything but put my hand on his cheek and gently kiss it, not knowing what to say.

“So, is there anything you’d like to tell me?” He asked me.

“What do you mean?”

“Just anything you’d want to talk about.”

“Well, even though we aren’t together, I still don’t want to hide anything from you. I’m texting Christian.”

“Poor boy. He wants you so bad.”

I turned my head to look at him and he was smirking. I smiled, “So? Don’t you want me?”

“I have you, though.”

I smirked, “Do you?”

He chuckled, “I do. I better not find out you fucking with him either.”

I gasped, “So I can’t be your girlfriend, but I can’t be his either?”

“Exactly. Do you want to be his girlfriend?” He raised an eyebrow.

I giggled, “No.. I’m just saying.”

Aubrey smirked, “Better not ever give him my pussy, you hear me?”

“Or else?”

“Just know. Don’t do it,” he kissed from my jaw to my shoulder.

We did nothing but relax until it was time for work. We drove our cars separately since I wanted to go visit my mother tomorrow.

Performance hour was everything, as it always is. The money, the glory, the attention. I loved it all.

My hair was in its natural curly state, as I awaited the bar for Christian. Shelby gave me what I liked. She was good at that.

He sat next to me and ordered a drink from Shelby and I smirked as I watched him. He turned to me, “Hello, beautiful,” he smiled.

“Hello to you too, and what did I say about the flirting?” I sipped.

He smiled, “It wasn’t flirting, it was a compliment and the honest to god truth. You’re so caught up into this man, I can’t even tell you the truth?”

I laughed, “Okay, okay. I guess I can let that slide, but how was school?”

“It was… annoying, honestly,” he accepted the drink from Shelby, “Thank you.”

“What made it so annoying?”

“Just being there.. but I gotta do what I gotta do. Gotta make something out of myself one day.”

I smiled, “It’s good to be ambitious.”

“You are correct.. who’s this lucky guy, may I ask?”

“I’d want to tell you but I’m not sure if I’m allowed to.”

“Allowed to?”

“Yea, it’s just.. it’s a situationship. We’re not really dating but there’s something. I just want to make sure it’s okay for me to tell people.”

“He’s not even proud enough to show you off?”

I sighed, “He might be. I just don’t want to you know.. do anything I’m not supposed to be.”

“Do I know him?”

“You do.”

He started to think. He smirked, “I think I know who. But whenever you decide to tell me, you can.”

I smirked back, “I will.”

Wynter came up beside me, “Luna, can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure,” I looked to Christian, “I’ll be right back.”

“Are you sure this time?”

I giggled and rolled my eyes, “Just stay here,” I got up and walked with Wynter to the locker room.

“Okay, so there’s this white guy, he keeps asking about you.”

I observed her. Her dark brown slim stomach was no longer there, and I saw a slight bump. She was starting to show.

“Is his name Mitchell?”

“Yes! Do you know him?”

“Well, yea.. but he’s usually interested in Honey after about 10 minutes with me whenever he’s here.”

“Really? I first thought that he was an undercover or some shit, but now that I know he’s been with Honey, this just screams messy.”

I wanted to tell her about Drake and Honey. I wanted to tell her that Drake can tap into Honey’s phones and computers, and if anything was up, he’d know, and he’d know soon. But I knew I couldn’t tell her everything.

“We have to talk.. but later. How about we meet tomorrow? I want to go visit my mom, and after we can go for something to eat. I told her I made a friend at work so she actually would love to meet you, anyway.”

She smiled, “That’ll be nice, actually. Come pick me up? You can meet my fiancée.”

“That’ll be great.. and girl, you’re showing.”

She smiled, “Yea, I know. I’m so excited but I have to tell Drake before he gets upset that I didn’t tell him before I got big.. you know how he gets.”

I nodded. But honestly, Drake hasn’t been seriously stern with me in a while. I forgot how it felt to be scared of him like I used too. Being close with Wynter was weird for me because I didn’t open up to her the way she opened up to me. I wanted to tell her more… way more. I just don’t want to trust the wrong person.

“Well, I did ask you to tell him for me, did you ever do it?”

“Honestly, I forgot. But I’ll tell him right now if you want me to. He won’t be as upset.”

“Could you?”

I nodded and smiled, “Of course I can.”

She hugged me and kissed my cheek, “Thanks girl.. now let me go back out there. You need to go back to your little side boo, too. Don’t let Papi find out.”

I laughed and playfully rolled my eyes, “He isn’t a side boo,” I wrinkled my eyebrows, “And can’t we call him Drake in private?”

“We can.. but I know he makes you call him papi 24/7,” she smirked as she walked out.

I blushed and laughed as I was on my way out also.

I confronted Christian, “I’m so sorry. I’m doing a lot of running around, I have to go somewhere else again.”

“It’s cool, I’ll go over with my boys,” he turned to a group of dark skinned boys throwing money at Angel as she danced for them.

I smiled, “Have fun with your boys,” I grabbed his shoulder and walked to Aubrey’s office.

I knocked and a big, black guy I’ve never seen before opened the door.

“Who are you? Drake ain’t call for nobody,” his voice was deep.

“My name is Luna.”

He turned around to look at Aubrey, I assumed, “Some bitch named Luna.”

I wrinkled my eyebrows. Who the fuck is he?

I could hear Aubrey, “Snazz, chill. Don’t call her that. Let her in.”

Snazz? I remembered his name from Aubrey’s story. He’s one of his hitmen.

“This ya shawty? My fault,” he turned to me, “I apologize, Luna,” he let me in.

“It’s fine,” I walked inside. I could see his regular crew standing behind a group of other guys. And one in particular was on a laptop. He must be Carter.

Aubrey got up and walked to me. He pulled me into the room we had sex in yesterday, “What’s going on, why aren’t you out there?”

“I have to talk to you.. are you guys going through Honey’s shit?”

“Yea.. so far we don’t see much. She’s only had one conversation with this guy, and she gave him the club’s address, and then he asks for her stage name, and she says it’s Honey.. Selena I might have to start messing with her again.”

I wrinkled my eyebrows, “What?”

“Selena.. look.. if I get back into her, she already trusts that I don’t know any of the foul shit she’s doing. I can get more if I’m closer to her again.. I’ll be able to know more.”

“Aubrey, that doesn’t make any sense.. she won’t tell you anything.”

“But I’ll get into her head more, Selena, you have to trust me on this.”

“You better not fuck her.”

“She’s gonna want that, Selena.”

“I don’t care what she’s going to want.. treat her like how you claim to treat me. Like it isn’t all about sex. Okay?”

“Okay… okay. I won’t fuck her. I promise.”

I frowned, “And you have to do this for what reason again?”

He chuckled, “To just get a sense of what she’s doing. She’s in love with me, Selena. She’ll tell me at least something.”

“Okay.. fine. But, I do have to tell you that Wynter is pregnant.”

He sucked his teeth, “Are you serious? I don’t have time for this right now.”

“Don’t get upset with her, Aubrey. Just like how you’re always telling me to have your babies, I’m sure her fiancée tells her the same thing. I’m also sure you’re going to have to find a replacement for her. So first deal with this Honey bullshit, then discuss with her when it’s going to be her last day, and then plan your replacement. Okay?”

I could see the frustration in his face, “Alright, Selena.”

I pecked his lips, “I’ll give you head when it’s time to go home.. okay?” I smirked.

He chuckled, “Okay, now get that ass back to work,” he kissed my forehead.