#chamber hate

bitches, baguettes, and bitcoin (cypher x reader)

word count: 300+, this is a bite-sized crack fic, if you could call it that

warnings: chamber hate (chamber prides himself on his language and frenchness but you two just mock him lol), digs at bitcoin and nfts, baguette jokes, but i mean...i'm not ashamed and you know what you came for

“please, monsieur, pouting is not a good look on you.”

hearing this, cypher can immediately guess what just went down as he goes to the shooting range and sees chamber forcing a smile and congratulating you in front of the other agents. the sight of the ever-so-poised chamber’s barely concealed sulking brings both cypher and you much satisfaction. as chamber stalks away defeatedly, you fix his back with a deadly glare and a triumphant smile. you put down your gun and then, as if nothing happened, you turn to cypher with hearts in your eyes.

“so, did my darling rose beat chamber again?”

you nodded, telling him about how chamber asked you to try out some new gun designs and tested your accuracy versus his. it turned out that you were a better shot despite chamber basically gloating about his skills and designs the whole time. cypher thinks it's both cute and attractive how you could humiliate chamber like that and then turn around like it's nothing. he laughs deeply and praises you appropriately.

Cypher is looking for his s/o cause hes feeling particularly clingy, and he finds chamber flirting with his s/o and our moroccan boy goes nuts.

Basically angy cypher, ready to beat chamber on a 1v1 knowing he Will win. That or he reveals something utterly embarassing abt chamber, take ur pick.

Bonus points if it ends up with cooldown cuddles and floof!

I love your writing btw Keep it up

chamber hate and cypher love let's go (this is a bit longer than a drabble oops)

cypher was in one of his clingy moods as he would call it, having just stepped out of his workshop in search of you. it had been hours since he disappeared into that room to fix up his gadgets and develop some new technology. he yearned to be with his rose, and so he had checked the expansive security set-up in front of his desk and spotted you in the living room. his plan was to find you and bring you back to his room for some much needed relaxation. easy as that, right?

“(y/n), mademoiselle, as stunning as always.”

walking through the hallway to the living room, cypher stopped in his tracks and listened intently. was he seriously hearing what he thought he was hearing?

a certain frenchman graciously displayed his hands in front of himself in greeting as he encountered you, “now that we're here, i've been meaning to ask. would you like to accompany me to the shooting range? i have some new designs that i not only want to test the practicality of, but the glamor of being used in battle as well.”

cypher’s footsteps quickened toward the sound of chamber, chamber of all people, flirting with you. he entered the living room to see said man's back was turned to him, and if looks could kill, the back of chamber’s head would have two gaping holes straight through it. surprised, you had little time to respond as your boyfriend started speaking with that playful tone of his. still, the cutting suspicion in his voice peeked through.

“chamber,” cypher regarded, with little effort to be amiable, “perhaps you don't know seeing as you're new to protocol, but i don't think (y/n) would prefer your company right now.”

“cypher! what a pleasure,” chamber said, putting on a genial (or so it seemed) smile, “je suis désolé, may i borrow (y/n) here? or perhaps you would like to join us at the range? as i would say, three’s never a crowd, just more business partners.”

“please, i wouldn't like to ruin the fun,” cypher said, struggling to keep his voice as light as it always was, “taking the chance of another accident with your little 'business’ could end up in one more field like fracture, and we don't need a repeat of that.”

he chuckled sinisterly, eyes glinting beneath his hat. “but as you would say as a respectable businessman, practice makes perfect. if practice is hidden well enough, perfect causes your reputation to rise. how fun!”

chamber looked like a deer in headlights, which was not a very charming look for him. “comment as-tu—”

“chamberishot123,” cypher interrupted, and you could've sworn that he was smiling beneath his mask by the way his eyes crinkled, “you couldn't have made it any easier.”

the frenchman flushed. “ah. i see you've done your research. let's let secrets be secrets, no? excusez moi.” chamber adjusted his tie before stalking off.

shit chamber does that pisses some agents off?