you and me
pairing(s): brooke holliday x sweet pea, dakota chambers x fangs fogarty (credit to @starkdnvers for dakota) word count: 9,351 summary: when brooke’s certain that she’s fucked up her entire life (and by extension, the life of her boyfriend as well), there’s only one person she can turn to. warning(s): pregnancy, swearing, mentions of sex, brief mention of abortion author’s note: the adult!challiday, accidental pregnancy au that basically no one but me and joey asked for. it’s chaotically long for something i thought was going to be very short, but here we are.
To say that Brooke Holliday was freaking out was the understatement of the century.
She was late. She was fucking late. She’d never been late in her life, her period had always been annoyingly regular, always showing up at the most inopportune times. But this month, it had been late a day. And then a day turned into two and two turned into a week and a week became two and two turned into Brooke paling at the sight of her phone’s calendar, doing the mental math. There was no other conclusion besides the fact that she was late.
It was that heart-stopping reaction that had sent her running off to the corner store, avoiding the curious and somewhat pitying stare of the cashier as she had shoved a handful of bills in exchange for the test.
Test. She was buying a pregnancy test. She was going to see either a negative or a positive result. Two little pink lines could change her entire life. She was trying to stay positive, but how could she? Luck wouldn’t be on her side in this regard. She’d never been lucky, that much was clear to her considering she grew up in Riverdale of all places. Things had calmed down since high school had ended, but that didn’t mean luck was in a place like this and it didn’t mean luck would be with her.
There had never been happily ever afters in a town that had once been plagued by so much needless death and she was certain there would be no starting with that now.
Regardless of all of that, she bought the test, forking over the money and returning home with it. She had followed the instructions, set a timer on her phone, and had sat on her bathroom floor with tears that threatened to fall but never broke past her waterline. She was panicking and that could be told simply from observing her. The normally put together blonde was sat on her bathroom floor, on the verge of tears, fingers tangled in her hands as she tried to go through her options.
What was she supposed to do if it was positive? Positive. A positive pregnancy test. A potential baby on the horizon. She was barely twenty-five. She was out of school and had a sort of decent-paying job, but she wasn’t even sure she when she wanted kids, let alone to have one right now. She had always pictured having kids somewhere down the road, but when she well past her twenties. Maybe at thirty-two, that seemed like a nice age to have a kid. But twenty-four? She still barely knew how to file her taxes and she was potentially carrying another life in her?
And Sweet Pea. How the fuck was she supposed to tell Sweet Pea if she was pregnant? How would that conversation even start? Like, hey, just an FYI, you knocked me up and my reproductive organs have basically screwed up our entire lives. She didn’t even know if he thought about kids at all, let alone with her. They’d been together for years, but the baby conversation had never come up. Nothing excessively long term, nothing permanent had been discussed between the two of them.
They were just going with the flow. They weren’t like their best friends, who had gotten married during the middle of college and had just had a baby themselves. They weren’t like Dakota and Fangs. All Brooke and Sweet Pea knew about their relationship was that they loved each other and that they loved being together. But that wasn’t much of a permanent declaration of anything…a baby would be.
Fuck. She released her hair, instead opting to put her head in her hands, burying her face into the fabric of her sweater’s sleeves.
As she sat there on her bathroom floor, she tried to think about how this happened. They’d always been safe, ever since that very first time. They’d been together since high school and had been sexually active since around that time as well. But they’d always used condoms. Deep down, she knew that condoms weren’t 100% effective, but from almost seventeen until now, she’d never had a scare. She was always careful, they were always careful.
Unless…shit. There had been one instance not that long ago where there’d been a mishap with the condom, but both of them had written it off as nothing to worry about. She had written it off as nothing to worry about.
And now? Now there was something to worry about. Fuck.
Now…now they were screwed—no, potentially screwed, she told herself. She nodded to herself a few times as she repeated this in her head, trying to convince herself of this fact. There was no certainty yet. The timer on her phone hadn’t gone off yet. Maybe her body just decided to fuck around and be late this month. An irregular period would be the heaven-sent blessing of the century.
But again, when had luck ever been on her side?
The timer went off then, startling her slightly. She wiped at her eyes, drying up the tears that she refused to let fall. Reaching behind her blindly, she slipped her phone off of the closed toilet lid, thumbing the alarm off. Brooke paused as she did that, stopping to stare at her lock screen for a moment.
The picture was old, haven been taken the day of her high school graduation. But despite the time difference, it was still one of the best photos that Brooke had. She was stood next to Sweet Pea, both dressed in their standard Riverdale High issue blue caps and gowns, beaming at the camera. Brooke could still remember Sweet Pea protesting taking a picture when she handed Vivian Chambers (Dakota’s mother and the only true maternal figure that Brooke had ever known) her phone to take the shot. He had continued to complain up until Brooke beamed up at him with her big blue eyes, batting her lashes at him. He had always been a sucker for that.
And so, the picture had been taken and Brooke had kept it as her lock screen throughout all those years. Normally, looking at it brought her a sense of peace. But right now, looking at it made her feel sick to her stomach.
She set the phone face down on the tiled floor, taking a deep breath. It was shaky upon exhale as she stood, eyes squeezed shut as she centered herself in front of the sink where the test was laid out for viewing.
It felt like an eternity before she allowed her eyes to open. She took another breath, trying her best to ground herself, even if for a moment. She glanced down, eyes scanning the results.
A hushed, barely audible oh was the only thing she let slip from her lips. No other words seemed like they could truly encapsulate what she was feeling at that moment. Where words didn’t work, tears did. For the first time that morning, Brooke Holliday let her tears fall, a choked sob slipping from her lips as she allowed herself to sink back to the floor of the bathroom.
On the sink, a pregnancy test sat, baring two pink lines.
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Brooke Holliday was freaking out. And when she freaked out, there was only one person she knew she could turn to.
After allowing herself to cry on the floor for fifteen minutes, whether it had been for herself, for Sweet Pea, or maybe for some future path that was now gated off to her, she had tried pulling herself together. She had wiped at her eyes again, harshly rubbing off the remnants of her mascara with it. Normally bright, blue eyes were bloodshot and puffy, tear tracks traced down the skin of her cheeks. But she had ignored those, opting for marching out of the bathroom. With her boyfriend at the garage for the next couple of hours, so it allowed her to roam around without the worry of running into him and having him question the visible remainder of her cry or try to deduce what she had shoved into her purse. Normally, she loathed the days where their days off didn’t line up, more than wanting to curl up in bed next to him for hours.
But today, it felt like the smallest possible silver lining that she could have ever been granted. And so, she had made her way to the door, had slipped on her jacket and grabbed her bag, and locked the door to her shared home behind her.
There was only one place she could go, she knew this as clearly as she knew that grass was green, skies were blue, and Pop’s shakes were one of the few good things about her hometown. In all situations, Dakota Chambers—sorry, Fogarty now technically, even if Sweet Pea solely referred to her as Chambers to this day—was the one person that could make sense of all of this.
The story of Brooke and Dakota wasn’t necessarily a lengthy one timeline-wise, but it was a story that filled with so many defining moments that it cemented the girls’ places as each other’s best friend. Dakota was like the sister that Brooke had never had. Her family had taken her in all those years ago when her mother had fallen through as a reliable parent. Dakota would be able to ground her, to calm her down. Hopefully.
The early winter air was bitter as Brooke made her way into the lobby of the apartment building that the Fogarty’s lived in. She hugged herself a little tighter as she crossed the threshold, even though a blast of warm air hit her the second she was safely inside. Honestly, if anything, she was more than likely holding herself tightly so that she didn’t fall apart.
A few flights of stairs later, Brooke stood in front of Dakota and Fangs’s door, rapping her knuckles on it quickly. There were only a few moments of pause before a calming voice was calling out that they were coming and then within seconds the door was opening.
Dak stood on the other side of the doorway, with her signature smile on her face and a baby on her hip. Brooke tried to smile at the sight of little Nora Rose, especially when her little face brightened in recognition of her Auntie Brooke, but it was hollow at best. Dak’s warm eyes fell confused at the sight of her less than happy best friend on her doorstep.
A little cautiously, she spoke. “Brooke? Is everything okay?”
Apparently, that was all it took for Brooke to lose any fragment of composure that she may have had.
Voice panicked, the blonde exclaimed, “We have a situation!”
Okay, maybe we wasn’t the right term. Dakota had no involvement with Brooke and Pea’s sex life nor the unknown day which their sex life led to this. But to be fair, Brooke always referred to everything as a we situation when it came to Dakota. They were a package deal, a matching set. From sophomore year till now, they had gone through so many different situations together that not calling this situation a we situation just felt wrong.
Dakota furrowed her brow, her confusion increasing by tenfold. “We do? What’s going on?”
What’s going on? That was a fairly reasonable question. So, naturally, it made Brooke clam up slightly. She frowned, running a hand through her hair as her best friend eyed her worriedly. Nora, ever the exuberant child, didn’t seem to notice the shift in the mood of the doorway, continuing to make grabby hands for her pseudo-aunt. The sight alone made a wave of tears flood Brooke’s eyes. In several months, there could be another baby around, but when it eventually made grabby hands at Brooke, it wouldn’t be for the comfort of an aunt. It would be for the touch of a mother.
Mother. Her. Brooke fucking Holliday, a mother. Those words didn’t seem to string together right. Motherhood looked great on Dak, but Brooke? It was hard to imagine. It was a concept that Brooke couldn’t even fathom, even though the plastic stick in her bag were telling her otherwise.
Dak spoke again, stepping closer to rest a gentle hand on her best friend’s arm. “Brooke?”
“I’m late, Dak,” Brooke admitted quietly. “I’m late.”
Dak, still ever the wide-eyed, innocent little church girl, stared at her best friend oddly. “For an appointment?”
Brooke groaned. “My period, Dak. I’m over two weeks late. I’ve never been this late in my life.”
“Oh,” Dak mumbled offhandedly, the information not truly sinking in. And then, once the realization kicked in, she sucked in a breath. “Oh. Brooke…are you…?” She trailed off, unable to find the words.
Voice thick with emotion, mostly just sadness and fear, Brooke said, “Unless the test I took is lying, yeah. Yeah, I am.”
She refused to say the word out loud. Pregnant. It was swirling around her head, battering off every corner of her brain like a pinball gone rogue, but she had yet to let it fall from her lips. Saying it out loud made it real and she was afraid. Making it real would be too much right now, especially when she had no idea what she was doing. Or feeling. Or hell, even thinking.
A part of Dakota wanted to smile. Her best friend was having a baby, that was such a wonderful thing. When she had found out about Nora, she and Fangs had been over the moon. The fact that her friend, a person she considered a second sister, was pregnant was exciting. But something on Brooke’s face told her that she was the only one who thought so.
“Are you not happy?” Dakota asked softly, rubbing Brooke’s arm. She adjusted the grip she had on Nora, a happy giggle pealing from the babbling child’s mouth.
“I just…I’m freaking the hell out, Dak. I mean, what the hell am I going to do? We didn’t plan this, it just happened and now it’s happening and I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do!”
Dak’s gaze softened at the blonde’s rant, teeth sinking into her bottom lip. “Have you told Sweet Pea?”
At the mention of her boyfriend, Brooke looked like she wanted to vomit. She shook her head no rapidly, blonde hair flying. “I-I can’t, I can’t do that. I haven’t even processed this fully, I came over here the second I stopped sobbing on the floor like a two-year-old. I…Dak, I just fucked up both of our lives. I don’t even know if he wants kids and I just went and got us pregnant!”
Dak squeezed Brooke’s arm then, shaking her head at her. “Hey, hey. Calm down, it’s going to be okay, we’ll figure everything out. Do you want some tea?”
Feeling somewhat like a distressed teenager with a fresh round of tears starting to burn behind her eyes, Brooke nodded as Dakota let her arm go, moving to wrap her arms around her again. The brunette stepped back and then aside to let her in before shutting the door behind them.
Dak led Brooke to the kitchen, getting her to sit before mumbling to give her a quick second. In the span of a few minutes, Dak disappeared into the apartment, easily finding her husband. Nora was quickly switched off into Fangs’s arms, who smiled lovingly at the sight of his two girls.
“How are my favorite girls?” he questioned, grinning brightly at his daughter pressing an exaggeratedly loud kiss on the baby’s face which caused Nora to giggle.
Dak smiled at him softly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He beamed, the usual reaction he had to the woman in front of him, even after all these years. “Do you think you and Nora could stay in here for a little while?” she questioned.
Fangs’s happy gaze fell quickly, both at seeing Dakota’s distressed expression and at her request to stay out of the kitchen with Nora. “Is there a reason I’m being confined to the bedroom?”
“Brooke’s over,” Dakota replied simply, which only seemed to raise more questions than it answered.
“Is she okay?” Fangs questioned, brow knitting together in confusion. “She and Pea didn’t have another fight did they?”
Dak shook her head gently, giving her husband another small smile. “We’re just having girl talk and I think privacy is best,” she told him, before pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
And with that, Fangs was on board with staying in their bedroom with their little miracle.
Moments later, Dak was returning to Brooke, finding the blonde still sat at the kitchen table. She had her phone out, staring intently at the screen. Dak wasn’t sure what she was looking at, but she didn’t question what Brooke was doing. Instead, she opted to silently move around the kitchen, setting out to make the tea.
Minutes later, two steaming mugs were set on the table and a chair next to Brooke was pulled out and filled. Dakota pushed one of the mugs towards her friend, taking the other for herself. The brunette drew the mug back, taking a sip, contemplating her next words. How does one even begin to console a pregnant woman that might not even want to be pregnant?
She didn’t have to think much of an opening line, though, because Brooke was already speaking. “I don’t know how this happened,” she mumbled, taking a sip from her drink. “We have one tiny little accident. One. How is this happening?”
“Stuff like this happens all the time, Brooke,” Dakota replies tentatively.
Brooke didn’t answer for a moment. She knew Dak was right. People got pregnant all the time, whether they wanted to or not. The circle of life was a never-ending amalgamation of happy days and fuck yous. Brooke was certain her experience was the latter. In the grand scheme of things, this all felt like a sick joke. Like someone was playing a prank on her.
She groaned, letting her head fall forehead to gently rest on the tabletop. “What am I gonna do, Dak? Seriously? Yesterday I was deciding what kind of bagels I wanted to buy, cinnamon raisin or blueberry—spoiler alert I got both because I have zero impulse control—and now I have to think about having…having…”
“A baby,” Dakota supplied, figuring maybe a rip the band-aid off quickly approach would work best in this situation.
Brooke lifted her head, face paling again. “A baby,” she mumbled. And then her eyes filled with panic and she was crying out in frustration. “How the hell am I supposed to have a baby? This wasn’t apart of the plan!”
“What was the plan?” Dakota asked curiously.
“There wasn’t one!” Brooked cried out. “This wasn’t supposed to happen! Sweets and I aren’t you and Fangs, Dak. We’re not married, we didn’t name our children together after like, five months of dating—”
“We didn’t do that,” Dakota interjected, eyes wide and a minor blush smattering her cheeks. Her and Fangs weren’t that certain they were each other’s forever that early on.
“—How am I supposed to even bring this up to him? We’ve never even talked about longterm and now this is happening? What the fuck do I even say to him? Do I just go hey I just fucked up our lives by going and getting a fucking future child growing in my uterus? Think that’ll work? Does that sound like a good conversation starter?”
She said it wryly, bitterness flooding her tone. It was the same question she had posed to herself back at home, but back then there had been no one to go wide-eyed and look mildly appalled with her suggestion. But that’s where Dak came in.
At her friend’s statement, Dak’s eyebrows raised considerably before she was reaching out to cover Brooke’s hand with her own. “You didn’t mess up Brooke, okay? Being pregnant when you’re not planning for it is scary, it is. But you didn’t mess up, I can promise you that.”
Sadly, Brooke squeezed her eyes tightly, as if to hold back tears. If she let out a small, vulnerable whimper, Dakota didn’t mention it. Quietly, she mumbled, “Then why does it feel like I did?”
Dakota sighed, a knot forming in her stomach for her friend. It was clear as day that this wasn’t what Brooke wanted to happen. She bit her lip again, squeezing Brooke’s hand. There was a question she wanted to ask, one she wasn’t sure how to phrase in a sensitive enough manner. But Brooke was freaking out and it was just something that needed to be asked.
And so, softly, she questioned, “Do you want the baby?”
The question made Brooke visibly balk. Of course, it had been something she had been thinking of the second she realized she was late. Did she want the baby? This wasn’t something she could make an unsure decision on. She couldn’t hedge. This was quite possibly the biggest decision of her life, and it was hanging in the balance right now, mocking her.
She blew out a breath, running her free hand through her hair. “I don’t know? I told you, we didn’t plan this, we didn’t talk about it.”
“Okay, but what about how you feel about having a baby?”
Brooke looked at Dakota oddly. “I just told you?” she replied, though her answer sounded more like a question itself.
“You talked about you and Sweet Pea. But I asked how you feel about all of this. If you want this baby,” Dakota told her pointedly, but there was still an air of kindness. Dakota wasn’t trying to be rude, just trying to get a point across. “We can talk about everything, we can, but before you talk to him, you should decide if you want the baby or not. Then we can talk about Sweet Pea.”
The Holliday woman paused. In actuality, it made sense to think about what she wanted. She was the one who would deal with the majority of this, she would be the one who would potentially be carrying this pregnancy, not him. There were things specific to Brooke that would need to be thought out, things that didn’t necessarily include her boyfriend. And the biggest question indeed was the one that Dakota had posed.
Taking another sip of her tea, Brooke gave Dakota a half-hearted shrug. “I mean, maybe? Down the road I always assumed I might end up with a kid…but what if I just fuck it up? Clearly parenting doesn’t run well in my family.”
The statement was a dig at Brooke’s mother and mother alone. Her father had never been involved in her life, it had been Shannon who had taught Brooke that sometimes families sucked. She had gotten lucky in her junior year when Vivian Chambers had taken her in, when Dakota’s family had shown her the familial love she had been missing most of her life. Yet that didn’t negate the fact that Brooke had always been mildly afraid of becoming just like her mother.
Dakota gave Brooke a sigh. “Brooke, you’re not going to…” The brunette trailed off for a moment, looking mildly uncomfortable. “You’re not going to fuck it up.”
Brooke’s eyes went wide as she interjected, “Did you just say fuck? Jesus Christ, what is this, your second time?”
Dakota frowned at the obvious jab about her vocabulary which was far less colorful than the ones of her friends and husband. “Be quiet, I was only repeating what you said. And you’re not going to do anything wrong, you’d be an amazing mother. You’ve been such a good aunt to Nora every time you’ve babysat.”
“That’s not exactly the same thing,” Brooke pointed out. “I get to give Nora back at the end of the day when I watch her.”
“Okay,” Dak relented, thinking for a moment. “Look, think of it this way. Parenting is a learning curve. No one’s perfect at it, not even me and Fangs. Not my parents. Not anyone’s parents. The most important thing is that you want your child, that you love them, and that you’re willing to try for them.”
Try. Brooke figured this was the thing that her mother was missing. The will to try for her child. She wondered if she was different from Shannon in that regard. She hoped she was. Brooke had always had a capacity for love that was far greater than her mother’s, the older woman more akin to an unforgiving winter storm than a warm and caring presence.
At the end of the day, Brooke knew deep in her heart that her mother had never actually wanted a child…maybe at first. But once she was born? No, too much had gone wrong for Shannon Holliday by then. From the time of conception to birth, her entire world had spun on its axis far too rapidly, had changed her. Had hardened her. By then, she hadn’t really wanted Brooke.
But Brooke…Brooke could be different. And so, she was brought back to Dakota’s original question. Did she want a baby, this baby? Her baby.
A baby. A whole new life that she could bring into the world. This wasn’t a situation to take lightly, it wasn’t something that she could just sweep under the rug and hope it would go away.
There was a terrifying side to this. She’d be a mom. She’d be responsible for an entire person. The thought made her skin crawl. How the fuck was she meant to be a mom now? Again, her mom hadn’t been the greatest. Cold. Detached. The kind of woman who kicked her own daughter out, the kind of woman who ruined her entire relationship with her only child based on things that had happened well into the past. What if Brooke did become like Shannon? What if she fucked this kid up like Shannon fucked her up? She couldn’t handle that kind of responsibility.
But…there was also a side to it that didn’t scare a part of her as much as she thought it should. Again, she wasn’t picturing being a mom now. She pictured that if she ever was to have a child, it would be later down the road. But the thing was, Brooke loved Sweet Pea and as much as she had never admitted it out loud to anyone, let alone Sweet Pea himself, she had always imagined that particular future with him. She imagined every future with him. They may not have discussed long-term, but she knew there wasn’t anything else she wanted. He was it for her.
And because of that, there was a small part of her—one that was small, yet battling strongly against her unbridled fear—that tried to imagine it. A little baby, with tanned skin and a head of dark hair, dark eyes and a familiar smile…well, its created an entirely different response than the one she had figured she would give. Somewhere, there was a tiny part of her that knew if there was even the slightest chance that this child could end up being a little version of the man she had loved since she was seventeen, well that was a whole different ballgame.
She sat there, sipping her drink, mapping out everything in her mind the best that she could. Everything would change drastically, it was up to her whether it was for the better or not. She tried to picture herself, month by month, carrying this child. Feeling the baby kick. Hearing its heartbeat. Doctor appointments, only the beginning of a lifetime of expenses. She pictured holding the baby after the birth, and if she pictured a healthy baby boy that looked far too much like Sweet Pea…well, no one was there to judge her inner thoughts.
Birthdays. Starting school. Little league games or dance recitals or science fairs or whatever the child wanted to do. Scraped knees and tears and happy giggles and family adventures and memories that Brooke herself never got with her mom. She could be the mother she never had. Sweet Pea could be the parent that he never had. Brooke tried to imagine it, her whole life with him and the baby that she could bring into the world if she chose to.
She knew she had options. She knew some things could be done, measures that could be taken that could undo what had happened. Choices. A world of choices that could—no, would change everything. She knew, at the end of the day, she had options.
Options that got exactly three seconds of consideration. It made her sick to her stomach thinking about it, even more so than she already was. It was an option that was good for other people, it was an option that everyone should have the right to consider. But Brooke knew that it wasn’t the option she could go with. She couldn’t. She just couldn’t.
She had pictured her possible child. She had imagined her life changing. She had seen for what she wanted it to be, for what it could be. And in a matter of moments, it felt like the world had shifted. She was still terrified to her core. The air of uncertainty was still thick and suffocating around her. It was etched into every facet of her being.
But there was no going back now. How could there be, when she had painted such a future in her head? Brooke Holliday, for the first time since she had realized that she was late, was pretty sure that she wanted this baby. Sweet Pea’s baby. Their baby. If there was a universe where they could be happy forever, with this child, she wanted it. She wanted it so fucking badly, despite never having given it any thought before this day.
Alarm slammed into her all once, the door to every panicked thought flying off its hinges at her internal admittance. While it was important that she be on board with this pregnancy, it didn’t necessarily mean Sweet Pea would. Doubt began to cloud her mind, hitting her full force as she tried to realize what this could mean for them.
What if this changed not only everything with their lives but amongst them as well?
Her eyes fell shut to try and ward off the burgeoning tears that were beginning to form and she leaned back in her chair, taking a deep breath. A hand once again reached up to tangle itself in her hair as she tried to figure how she’d gone from seeing this as the end of everything to wanting this.
“Brooke?” Dak asked suddenly, making the blonde realize she had been silent for a long while.  Her eyes flew up, locking with those of her best friend, who looked concerned. “Did you hear me?”
“Oh, um, no. Sorry, I was just…thinking about everything,” Brooke replied, her hand slipping from her hair to run across her face. “Everything’s going to change isn’t it?”
Dakota didn’t reply for a moment. She stared at Brooke, eyes flitting across her features, the gears in her head spinning. It felt like she was staring right through her, right into her mind. Once upon a time, Brooke had been able to read Dakota like an open book, and for once, it seemed as if Dakota was returning the favor. She could see the wave of emotions that Brooke was enduring in an instant, and she pursed her lips together.
So instead of answering the question that Brooke had posed, she gave one of her own.
“You want to keep it, don’t you?”
“…I think I do.” It was no louder than a whisper, but it was spoken all the same.
And like a dam bursting, the tears burned behind her eyes and pooled amongst her lashes began streaming down Brooke’s face. Dakota was beside her in an instant, her chair screeching against the floor as she scooted over to her, wrapping her in a tight embrace. Brooke cried against Dakota’s shoulders, again for herself, for Sweet Pea, and for some future path that was now gated off to her with her newfound want.
“It’s okay,” Dakota whispered, the words spoken against the blonde’s hair. “It’s going to be okay, Brooke, I promise. Everything will work out.”
“I’m fucking terrified, Dak,” Brooke whimpered in between two choked sobs. Her earlier worries came back full force, spilling out of her mouth. “I can’t do this without him, but what if this ruins everything? What if I’m right and I screwed up his entire life?”
Dakota had had enough. Pulling back, she placed both hands on Brooke’s shoulders, looking the girl dead in the eye. Dakota can see her fear clear as day, a wretched thing seeping into the tears that gloss over her eyes. “Brooke, listen to me. You didn’t screw up his life, stop saying that! Having a baby is a blessing and if he doesn’t realize that, well then that’s his loss.”
“But—”
“But nothing,” Dakota interrupted. “You don’t know how he feels about this, okay? You don’t, because you’ve never talked about it. You just need to talk to him, Brooke. I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear the news! He loves you, okay? He loves you so much and having a baby with you should make him the happiest man on the planet.”
A part of Brooke knew this was true. He did love her, as much as she loved him. There had been trials and tribulations along the way, just like there were for every relationship, but they had gotten through them. She had seen past what everyone else had, had seen him for who he truly was. And in return, he had done the same for her. She had loved him wholeheartedly since she had been seventeen and there had never been a doubt in her mind that he loved her just as much since then.
And yet, one immense and paralyzing fear still filled her. One she let slip through her lips in a broken whisper. “…What if he leaves?”
The moment the words left her lips, she knew she wasn’t right. He wouldn’t just leave. He thrived on loyalty, had that trait coursing through him immensely. Brooke had always admired that about him. Once you got close to Sweet Pea, once he let you see past the bloodied knuckles and the switchblades and the anger, he was loyal to you until you gave him a reason not to be. He wouldn’t just up and leave her, he wouldn’t leave her alone. Not now.
She knew this. And Dakota knew it, too. Knew that her husband’s best friend was quite possibly the best person for her best friend. But she still found herself answering the brokenhearted question. “…Then he’s not the one for you.”
Truly, Brooke knew she was right. If Sweet Pea did want to leave once she revealed the pregnancy to him, then that just meant that they weren’t right for each other. She knew that the chances of that happening were slim to none, but it still caused fear to ache in her bones. Fear that he was the best she was ever going to get. Fear that she was going to raise a child alone, just like her mother.
“I don’t know what the fuck I’ll do if he’s not,” Brooke mumbled, a whimper escaping her lips.
She felt like a blubbering two-year-old as Dakota once again brought her into her arms. The brunette was shushing her, repetitions of it’s going to be okay falling from her lips at a steady rate. The more she felt Brooke shake from her tears, the tighter she held her. She hadn’t seen the blonde fall apart like this in a long time. It was jarring and it felt like someone was tugging harshly on Dakota’s heartstrings as she heard every hiccup and sob and sniffle.
As the two friends clung to each other in the small kitchen of the Fogarty’s apartment, Dakota let a fierce promise fall from her lips. “We can figure that out together, okay? You and me.”
You and me. That’s the way it had always been for them. Brooke held onto her a little tighter.
✽ ✽ ✽ ✽ ✽ ✽
Despite having been calmed down and less teary-eyed by the time she left the Fogarty’s, Brooke Holliday was still undoubtedly freaking out. She had left the couple’s place well over an hour ago and was finally back in her own home, cuddled up on the couch with a thick blanket. Dakota had left her with multiple promises on top of you and me, including a vow that Sweet Pea would be ecstatic. Dakota didn’t see how he couldn’t be—he was going to have a baby with Brooke. Nothing should make him happier.
Brooke, however, saw things a little differently. While she was trying to maintain hopeful and adamant that he wouldn’t leave her to do this on her own, wouldn’t throw away all of their years together over this, she was still scared shitless.
Her head rested against one of her hands, elbow propped up against the arm of the couch as some mindless reality show played on the television set in the corner. She was staring off into space, eyes fixed on a chip in the wall’s paint. On her lap, her other hand was clutching onto the bright green, slightly matted fur of a small stuffed frog. She’d had since the summer before senior year, from the weekend away that she, Sweet Pea, Dakota, and Fangs had taken. After everything with the Black Hood, the Gargoyle King, the Fizzle Rocks, Tall Boy’s death, the Farm…they had needed to get out of town.
The place they had ended up in for their small vacation had had a carnival that very weekend and the frog in her lap had been won on one of the games at the fair. Sweet Pea had tried for one of the big ones, hoping to win her a giant stuffed animal like Fangs had gotten for Dak. He’d only managed to win one of the small ones, but honestly, Brooke had never beamed brighter. That stuffed frog had stayed with her for the rest of high school, an object of comfort she carried way into early adulthood.
Right now, it just made her wary of what was to come once he came walking through those doors.
She felt like she waited for what was a century. Knowing that she could back out now, couldn’t gloss over everything that had happened earlier. She needed to face this head-on, needed to tell him exactly what was happening. What was going to happen.
In actuality, she didn’t have to wait too long. By the time the second hour of the reality show arrived, the lock on the door to her shared home with Sweet Pea began to make noises, indicative of someone on the other side with a key. Brooke could feel her muscles tense and stiffen and she swore she felt herself stop breathing for a moment. If there wasn’t another life inside of her, she was certain she’d be guzzling a glass of wine from her nerves. Instead, she gripped the plush fabric of her stuffed frog.
The door opened, Sweet Pea slipping through as he did most nights after work. He looked tired, there were grease stains on his hands, and his worn down Serpent jacket sat proudly on his shoulders. Shutting the door behind him, he let out a small yawn before his eyes briefly fell on his girlfriend seated on the couch.
“Hey, princess,” he greeted easily, slipping his jacket on to hang on the hooks by the door before ambling over to the couch to sit down beside her. “How was your—what the fuck happened?”
The second he sat down and really, truly looked at her, he saw it all. The tear tracks on her face, the puffy redness of her eyes, the quiver of her bottom lip. It was evident all over her face and it immediately set off red alarms in his mind.
Crying Brooke and Sweet Pea had never exactly gotten along. Sure, he’d learned how to comfort her when she was upset along the way, but there was nothing more unsettling than watching her cry. It made him deeply uncomfortable, not wanting to see her upset. And so, instantly, his mood went from moderately happy and tired to uncomfortable, concerned, and slightly angered at whoever had possibly made her upset.
When she didn’t answer, a frown etched its way across his lips and he scooted closer to her. Attempting to hold her, his arms began to go out to circle around her, but he stopped when he noticed her tense even further. Brow furrowing, he paused, arms dropping back to his side.
“Brooke?”
A shaky breath escaped her lips and she squeezed the stuffed animal tighter, her eyes squeezing shut for a moment. When she opened them again, she felt like she was going to shatter at the expression on his face. He was undoubtedly concerned, but she could see a glimmer of confusion and maybe even a little bit of hurt that she hadn’t instantly melted into his arms. And she wanted to, God, she wanted to. But she was freaking out and she was sure that there was nothing that he could do to quell the fear in her bones, in her veins, in every ounce of her being.
The silence was deafening. It covered them like a blanket, a growing discomfort in the air as he watched her try to find the words to start this conversation. What was she supposed to say? How was she supposed to phrase this? Were there any right words to start this off?
There was also the fact of the matter that she was terrified of his response. Putting this out there, between them, meant he’d react. And there was nothing more worrisome to her than how he was going to take the news that she was carrying his child, that she’d already decided that this baby was what she wanted.
God, she should have asked for more advice on this during her tea slash cry slash panic session with Dakota.
“Okay, you’re gonna need to say something, princess, because you’re freaking me out,” Sweet Pea told her after another long moment. “Did something happen? Did someone do something to you? Because I swear to God I’ll gladly beat the shit out of anyone who thinks they can—”
“No!” Brooke exclaimed, the sound coming out quickly and loudly. She shook her head frantically, blonde hair fanning out around her. “No one did anything.”
There was a second of pause before he nodded, content with her answer. His eyebrow quirked up before a wry smile covered his lips. “So she speaks.”
A humorless chuckle escaped her lips, sounding slightly wet from all the crying she’d been doing on and off. “So she does. Pea, I…I need to talk to you about something. Something really important.”
He nodded. “Okay, yeah, sure. What’s up, princess?” Sweet Pea slung an around on the back of the couch, resting above her shoulders, but not directly touching her.
She sat silently for a moment, trying to figure out her next words. Brooke had so much she wanted to say, so many things she wanted to convey, but it was like every single word she knew was evading her. Her lips parted and shut a few times, a sure sign of someone who didn’t know what they were going to say.
It was frustrating, not knowing how to get the words out. And it was frustrating, knowing that the P-word was eventually going to be used and it was like her entire vocal system just shut down at the thought of it. She let out an annoyed sigh, staring down at her lap, before deciding to backtrack her starting point, back to where this whole thing had started.
“Pea, do you remember the night after we saw that really shitty movie? And we decided to fool around after?”
His eyes lit up in recognition quickly enough, tongue darting out to wet his lips. “I don’t think I’ll be able to forget it after the sounds you were making.”
Despite the situation at hand, Brooke rolled her eyes. Of course that would be the main star of his memory of that night. “No, I’m talking about afterward. When we realized that the condom broke?”
It took a second before he was nodding in remembrance, but Brooke could tell he still hadn’t pieced it together. He was looking at her in confusion, nodding slightly as if to tell her to go on. Brooke tried giving him a look, hoping that she could still convey her meaning even with her bloodshot eyes. But it was to no avail, his eyes didn’t light up in understanding, there was no lightbulb moment here.
And so, frustration and sadness and fear taking over her, she reached under the blanket covering her lap, fishing around until her fingers met cold plastic. A new batch of tears began to pool in her eyes, setting off an alarm in Sweet Pea as he watched her with a careful gaze. Without words, Brooke pulled the object out into view, thrusting the test right into Sweet Pea’s hand.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, voice broken.
He gave her an odd look, accepting the little stick that she handed him. The arm behind her head pulled back as the man opted to grip the tiny little stick with both hands. He looked down at it, face scrunching when he realized what it was. And then, Brooke was certain that she could pinpoint the exact second that the world stopped for him.
Once it had become clear what he was holding and what the little lines under the plastic window meant, his face fell slack. His eyes widened, mouth popping open ever so slightly. She could hear him suck in a deep breath.
Brooke wished she knew what he was thinking. She wondered what was the very first thought that ran through his head when he understood what the test meant. Did he have that little moment of oh that she did in the bathroom this morning? Or was his more aligned with an oh fuck moment? Was he excited? Scared? Angry? She didn’t know and she couldn’t tell, his face void of every emotion besides shock.
Brooke wanted to speak, tell him to say something, anything, but she couldn’t bring herself to talk. All she could do was sit there and wait.
“ This…” Sweet Pea started quietly, trailing off, unsure what to say. “Are you…?”
She nodded. “Yeah.”
“And it’s—”
“If you seriously ask me if it’s yours, I’m going to hit you,” she said, cutting him off with a biting tone. He’d been her first and her only, there was no fucking way it was anyone else’s.
He swallowed thickly, before shaking his head. “I was gonna ask if it was right. That you’re sure? You’re…I mean, how the fuck did this happen?”
His tone wasn’t angry, but his words made her flinch nonetheless. In a small voice, she replied, “I told you already. The condom broke, Pea. We thought it would be fine, but clearly it wasn’t.”
“But that was only one time, I mean, how can one broken condom end up like this?” he questioned her, voice rising ever so slightly.
Her bottom lip quivered a bit before she repeated what Dakota had told her earlier. “Stuff like this happens all the time.”
“Yeah, but…I mean…fuck,” he groaned loudly, slamming the test on the small coffee table so hard Brooke thinks it’s going to crack down the middle. He turned away from her, running a hand through his dark hair for a second before standing and pacing a few steps. Sweet Pea turned back to her, exasperated. “I mean, you’re having my fucking kid because one fucking condom broke?”
To Sweet Pea, it seemed like a reasonable question. How the hell could one tiny little slip up create such a large situation? But to Brooke, it felt like all of her fears were falling into place. He was mad. He was upset with her. They fucked up. They fucked up. This baby was screwing up his life.
She started fiddling with the blanket on her lap, beginning to shake her head at him. Tears were dripping down her cheeks at a steady rate, like tiny little streams against the flushed skin.
Brooke began speaking then, words just falling from her lips without abandon, “Look, I know that we never talked about this, but we can’t do anything about it now, okay? I didn’t ask for this either and I’m sorry, I didn’t want this to happen especially when I don’t even know if you want a family with me or kids at all. I’m sorry. But Pea, please, I can’t do this by myself.”
Sweet Pea moved closer to her, prepared to say something else when her words fully sank in. He froze in his movements. She had said she couldn’t do this by herself. In a way, Brooke was asking him to stay.
I can’t do this by myself.
She thought he was going to leave her.
Within mere moments, the entire vibe of the room had changed. Brooke was still on the couch looking up at him, fear swimming in the tears in her eyes. But Sweet Pea…her words felt like a slap in the face. He visibly recoiled, hurt flooding his features. She thought he was going to leave…why the fuck would she think that?
“Did…did you think I was going to leave?”
Everything in Brooke was screaming to say no. Her heart was screaming no. She knew she didn’t think that, she knew would never in a million years think he would leave her. But the problem was, her head was saying something completely different. While her heart wanted to believe that they would be okay, that this baby was something that would bring them closer together, her head was pragmatical as ever—probably a side effect of being friends with Jughead Jones for so long.
While her heart was holding onto the hope that they’d be okay, her head believed otherwise. Her head was being constricted by fear, forced to see paths that she didn’t want to believe were true. Her head was telling her that, although she loved him, there was never a promise of forever. That anything good can be destroyed in the blink of an eye. And it was for those reasons that her head and her heart were at war.
For when did anyone’s head and heart ever see eye to eye?
Her silence was confirmation enough and again, Sweet Pea felt like she had struck him across the face. His eyes narrowed at her, anger beginning to pulse through him. After everything they’d been through…after everything, this is what she thought of him?
“What, so because both of my parents decided to fuck off, you just figured I’d do the same thing?” he snapped at her, voice bitter and rising with every word.
It wasn’t the first time he’d raised his voice around her, but it was the first time that he wasn’t met with her raising her voice back. They’d had fights before, some nastier than others, but it was never just him shouting into the void, looking like a complete asshole. But this only made Brooke cry harder. A pathetic whimper slipped through her lips as he continued to look at her with a gaze that she hadn’t been on the receiving end since Jughead first ran The Gauntlet.
She hated it. She hated him looking at her like that. It was her fault he was. If she had just said no, if she had just had fucking faith in him, this wouldn’t be happening. Sweets was loyal to a fault, he wouldn’t leave her high and dry like this. They weren’t their parents, they couldn’t be.
Not now, not ever.
When she didn’t answer him, it only seemed to make him that much more mad. And when Sweet Pea got angry, he handled it one of two ways: venom tinged words or blood-tinged violence. His next words to her were spoken with such frustration that it caused Brooke to wince.
“I mean, I know I can be an asshole sometimes, but you actually think I’d just follow in my parents' footsteps? Just leave you and my fucking kid behind? Because newsflash Brooke, your mom was a fucking bitch to you, too. If you’re anything like her, then that kid better be prepared to get kicked out of their fucking house at sixteen!”
“Look, I’m scared, okay?” Brooke yelled out then, her voice wet and the sound akin to a sob. He froze, eyes flitting to her. “I didn’t want this to happen okay, but it did and there’s nothing we can do about it, okay? I’m pregnant. I am and it’s your baby. And I’m having this baby and I’m so afraid of everything that it means. I’m fucking terrified and all I know is I need you with me for this, Sweet Pea, I really fucking need you.”
Her knees dragged up, her arms wrapping around them tightly as she buried her face into the fabric of the blanket. She needed him. She couldn’t do this alone. It didn’t matter if Dakota said they would figure it out. It was a lovely promise, but it wasn’t from the person she wanted to hear it from. She loved Dakota, but it was nothing compared to how fiercely she felt for Sweet Pea. Nothing could be compared to how badly she wanted him for the rest of her life, how badly she wanted them to have this child along for the ride with them.
Brooke heard the floor creak before she felt the couch dip down beside her. Strong arms wrapped around her tightly and she was tugged into his chest, head pressed right up against his heart. Sweet Pea’s grip only seemed to tighten when he could feel her cry against him, feel the wetness of her tears instantly soaking through the fabric of his shirt. In a second, all of the anger he had felt for her moments ago had been shoved backward, concern taking the foreground. Brooke had looked as if she was breaking apart in front of him and that had done him in. He hated her thought process, hated what she assumed, but in the end, his love for her would always outweigh all of that.
They’d figure out everything else later. Not right now. Right now, he’d hold her as long as she needed. Anything to get her to stop crying, to stop shaking in his arms. Fights and discussions and all that other bullshit could wait.
His lips pressed into her hair, kisses pressed firmly against the crown of her head. He felt her struggle against him for a moment, but any concern he felt at that melted away when he felt her arms wrap around his torso as tightly as he held her.
“I need you with me on this,” she mumbled into his chest.
Another kiss was pressed against her head before words were whispered against her hair. Two sentences, eight words. Everything she wanted to hear from him at that moment, in such small words with such large meaning. A promise.
“You and me, princess. It’s you and me.”
