#challenegeyourself

I opened up a book last night, not having any intention of actually reading it. I just wanted to know what more was in it when I decided to sit and immerse myself in the pages, because yeah, it’s that type of book. I opened up to the first page of a chapter. The title? Getting a Hold of that Brain of Yours. For me, it was one of those laughable moments of: “How did this book know that is exactly what I needed to hear?!” So basically, I started to read and since I haven’t posted since the first time, I decided to share with y’all my thoughts and reactions to what I read.

My first reaction was that it is an absolutely incredible thing to be human. When you sit down and think about how complex our systems are, it is actually mind-blowing. On the flip side, it is also amazing how simple we are. We have our basic needs, which if not met and maintained, could cause some big trouble. We have a brain that runs our whole body, yet that same brain that wants you to survive also has the power to control your thoughts, which shows through in your life whether they are positive or negative. We have a heart that pumps blood, but that same heart also has a soul that feels.

This is where I get a little confused and why I was so happy I opened up to this chapter. Our core system that wants us to be well works mostly involuntarily, yet we have to nurture those same parts in order to create happiness. Sometimes that nurturing can often be overridden with negativity from the outside world, especially when it comes to feeling something. Feeling something is such a spectacular experience, whether it’s the warmth coming from a hug from a loved one, empowerment from yourself, or the pain of a heartbreak that comes from many different avenues.

Feeling deeply is hard. Hard as hell actually because it can make you really, super uncomfortable. It can make it hard to get over something, to take a lesson and leave. Being a deeply feeling person sets you up to face really hard times, but also to embrace really genuine good times. This is something I’ve been going through during this season of my life and there are days that I hate it, but there are days that I feel so overcome with gratitude and love for what is happening around me that I want to cry (because that’s what I do; happy or sad).

Through material resources and different interactions, I have been learning more about our “numbing culture.” The one we’re in where it’s so easy for us to act like we aren’t hurt, we’re all alright. This one where people refuse to become fully emotionally involved (with anything!) because we think there is going to be a fallout and we are just protecting ourselves from the future. We aren’t allowing ourselves to honestly, wholeheartedly feel sadness, loneliness, joy, excitement, etc.

I’ll be the first to admit I’ve done it a few times in my life. It’s easy to fall into that place because we all want to keep the “strong” image. That’s fine, but I do truly believe Rupi Kaur’s quote: 

“To be soft is to be powerful.” 

Personally, I believe fully showing someone your heart is one of the most courageous things you can do, even if it’s during a meeting where you speak out and stand up for an idea you are passionate about. Here it is: vulnerability my friends.

Feeling and internalizing those feelings takes the same courage and vulnerability. If you are sad, allow yourself to be really sad; then let that feeling go and move on, knowing that you can make it through, thus allowing yourself to grow. If you are happy; shout it from the mountains! Do whatever. I don’t know, just freakin’ allow yourself that personally, meaningful feeling. Waiting for something bad to happen is just plain stupid. It’s like having a really good treat in your house and not eating it because then it will be gone, and you will no longer be able to eat it. Spoiler alert: that’s the point of a “treat.” So, whether it’s eating an amazing caramel apple, falling for someone, or feeling really content with where you are at in life, take that joy and internalize it. Allow yourself to be wrapped up in it because you will find yourself reconnecting with who you are and the happiness in this world.

If you guys think I allow myself to practice this 24/7; I so appreciate your confidence in me, but I am only a mere human. That’s why I say practice. It’s challenging to be totally vulnerable not only to the outside world, but also with yourself. That’s why I’m writing this. To remind you, but also to remind myself that our brain, which works for us, also is very powerful in working against us if we let it. Don’t sacrifice genuine feelings because your brain tells you that you can’t have them. That you don’t deserve them, because happy or sad, you do deserve that ability to acknowledge them. From there, you can decide what happens.

We deserve to look in the mirror and be 100% true to ourselves knowing that we are so worthy of the privilege to feel. To be overcome with joy. To be struck down by pain, because that is an opportunity to strengthen yourself. If not for that, how would we know what true gratitude feels like?

Challenge yourself to stop numbing certain feelings because you think that will make things easier. Those feelings will always be there if you don’t confront them and they will attack you at the worst moments. Take a break from your phone. Laugh really hard at something you think is funny. Take yourself on a date because you actually enjoy spending time with yourself.