#ch:trouvaille

These asks are getting juicy omg

Trouvaille

Jackie: Let their college roommate taser them in the ass while drunk. Then let them taser their nipples while sober. (Just two of many many many dumb things that are too plentiful to list)

TV: Told the Dominos guy "I love you" on the phone after ordering pizza. Has not gone back since.

Theo: Went to a fancy party and saw a stack of mints on a plate on the way out. They tried one only to find that the mint was, in fact, a tiny soap.

Jace: After a 36 hour workday, went to a drive thru so he could stuff his face with something before he passed out. But he was so out of it that when the dude taking his order asked what he wanted to drink, he said, "Barbecue." He corrected himself but then sat there for like a minute trying to remember the word "Pepsi."

Dakota: Tried to prove he could fit a whole egg in his mouth. Getting it in was the easy part.

Antigone: Got 20 minutes of sleep one night. Dumped her cereal into her plant and nearly drank Miracle-Gro.

~

Hell or High Water

Castor: Burnt the crap out of his hand making microwave mac and cheese. He didn't know he wasn't supposed to saran wrap it and when he took the plastic off - FWOOM. (This is his #2 dumbest thing actually)

Sabine: A guy blatantly insulted her (sort of on accident) but it was hilarious so she ended up obsessed with him for the next 4 years.

Jess: Snuck into a hangar on base and tried to take a prototype helicopter for a joyride. She'd have been arrested and court martialed if her dad didn't know her so well.

Mina: Is super allergic to peanut butter but needed to taste that creamy goodness one more time so she ate a spoonful from the jar then immediately epi penned herself.

Matthias: Accompanied his father for a business dinner. Introduced himself to his father's investor and his lovely daughter. Except that was his wife.

The Rival: A friend told them they were pregnant and they said, "Yikes, what are you gonna do?" Then realized that that friend was married and was actually trying to start a family.

The gang is once again in the living room of Ipomoea, having crammed themselves onto one couch. Jackie and Dakota on the floor in front, while Theo perches on the arm rest. TV sits comfortably with Antigone on the seats.

Jackie: "At UCLA?"

They fiddle with their rings.

Jackie: "I like The Hill. It's-- Well, it's a hill with a long ass staircase. I like the outdoors, so it's a nice spot.

Theo tilts their head and stares down at Jackie. The others don't seem to notice until Theo says abruptly.

Theo: "You're lying."

Jackie blinks hard.

Jackie: "What do you mean?"

Theo: "Exactly what I said. I'm an empath, I can tell."

Jackie: "You're one of those people?"

Theo: "No, my magic is fueled by emotion. I can feel the guilt of lies radiating off of you. Why lie about something so trivial?"

TV: "Lay off them, Theo."

Theo: "I won't. I'm interested now."

Theo leans forward.

TV runs a hand through their curls and looks nervously at Dakota and Jackie, who are in the middle of a large clearing in the woods. After a short ride northeast, they arrived at the location sent by Theo's contact. The two of them are stretching and doing their warm up routines. Theo has situated themselves in a lawn chair, sipping a martini. No one else is quite sure where they got that.

TV: "You should be worried. Definitely worried. I am. You're going to talk them out of this, right?"

TV turns to face Antigone. She's set her own lawn chair at the edge of the clearing and is making Jiffy Pop on a camping stove. She looks up.

Antigone: "Sorry, what are we talking about?"

The gang lounges in the Ipomoea living room. Jackie and Theo sit beside each other on the couch while TV and Antigone have taken up opposite armchairs. Dakota is perched atop the arm rest of Antigone's seat. Jackie leans forward eagerly.

Jackie: "Oh, that's easy. Wolves."

How come?

Jackie: "They're just the ultimate predator. They have all the evolutionary equipment to be killers and at the same time they're smart enough to hunt in packs and have a hierarchy and everything. It's badass! I'd pet one if I got the chance."

Theo: "You would be mauled."

Jackie shrugs.

Jackie: "You don't know that."

Not looking up from your book, you murmur, “Mhm, three pointers, home run, get the ball.”

Jackie squawks in indignation and Dakota takes the opportunity to drive past him and score another point.

You and the rest of your questionable group of friends are lounging in the living room of Ipomoea. Jackie had decided to make an impulse purchase while the two of you were wandering around the dollar store, one of those cheap plastic basketball hoops that you stick to the back of a door. The two of you had barely entered the building when your best friend challenged Dakota to a one-on-one match.

“You always did give me benchwarmer vibes, Romero.” Dakota tosses the little ball to Jackie with a smug look.

“We’re basically tied, dickwad!”

You and Antigone share a look over the top of your book. She just shakes her head in resignation and finishes cleaning some sort of powdered herb off of her workbench. She mentioned that it was originally a wet bar when the last owner had the place.

“Alright, well-” she brushes off her hands and says “-you two have fun with that.” The aging wood floor creaks under her feet as she makes her way up the stairs. “I’ll take a shower and head to bed.”

At that, Dakota’s head snaps around like an owl. Seeming to sense the danger, Antigone stops in her tracks and eyes him warily.

“What do you wa–”

“If I make this basket, lemme join you.” Dakota is so excited he’s just about vibrating.

His mischievous gaze is met with an exasperated one. Jackie once made the mistake of asking the pair what they were to each other. You remember it well because you were the one who had to apply antiseptic to his cheek when Antigone whipped a vine across it so hard it broke skin. Surface-level evidence suggests that Dakota has some degree of one-sided feelings, but if the attention really was unwanted, you have no doubts that Antigone would make that abundantly clear.

“Dude, we can just go to Mango's tomorrow night and find a girl for you there. This is a non-simping household,” Jackie says, straightening up from his defensive stance.

“As Michael Scott once said: you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take,” Dakota says matter-of-factly.

“Wayne Gretsky said that.”

“Whatever.”

Dakota turns back to his… girlfriend? Friend with benefits? Mistress? That last one is really weird to think about but you can’t be too sure. Honestly you don’t know. At least the current situation rules out them being related. He gives her puppy eyes that make you almost want to back him up.

After a long consideration, Antigone crosses her arms and leans against the banister.

“Alright, fine. Make it good.”

Dakota whoops and turns to his opponent. “Jackie, come through,” he begs.

It’s Jackie’s turn to wear the evil look. “Oh, no. After you were talking shit for the last hour? No way, your ass is getting cockblocked.”

It’s faint, but you think you hear Antigone mutter “men” under her breath. All things considered, you had to agree.

“We’re doing this the hard way, then. Count us down, sexy mama,” Dakota says, getting into a ready position, Jackie set to defend in front of him. Antigone scrunches her nose at the nickname.

TV’s legs shift in your lap. She covers her eyes with her hands.

“Please don’t hurt each other!” she begs.

Antigone snaps from above, “Be careful without your rivets! I am not fixing your nose a thirteenth time!”

This time it’s Theo’s turn to say something despite him having been blissfully disconnected from the conversation while he perused Antigone’s bookshelves.

“He’s broken his nose twelve times?” he asks in bewilderment.

Rubbing the bridge of her nose, she replies, “Yes, because he is an idiot. His studs aren’t a fashion choice, they keep his nose stable.” Under closer scrutiny, you realize that what you thought were piercings on the bridge of his nose were gone nor did they leave holes.

“It’s fine!” Dakota brings you all back to the matter at hand. ”This will be over quickly.”

“That what your last hookup said to you?” Jackie taunts him. TV claps a hand over her mouth beside you. Even she’s trying to hold in a laugh.

Antigone sighs and with the energy of a slug, begrudgingly counts them down. “Let’s get this over with. Three. Two. One. Go.”

The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. TV shudders beside you and Dakota’s left eye flushes orange. You blink once and all of a sudden Jackie gets thrown into the wall hard enough to crack it, his head smacking loudly against it. The hoop and net are crushed on the floor while the little plastic ball rolls away. There’s a chance your eyes are still catching up with what happened, but you swear the ball is smoking.

“Goddamn,” Jackie groans, sliding down the wall.

Above you, you hear a quiet, “Shit.”

“WHOOOOOOOO!”

The next thing you know, you’ve been hit in the face with a wad of fabric while a shirtless Dakota bolts up the stairs. Antigone takes the opportunity to turn tail and run away with the larger boy hot on her heels. The door slams behind them and the four of you are draped in silence, save for Jackie’s groans of pain.

“I forgot that the power of boners is like having superpowers.” Jackie rubs his aching shoulder.

“I mean, he did have superpowers to begin with, sort of.” TV chimes in.

Theo lounges on the settee. “Is it odd that I sort of want what they have?”

“What even is it that they have?” Jackie asks.

TV and their father’s love was mutual until the bitter end, even if TV didn’t understand his motivations when it happened.