i have permanent brain damage.

did he make her come for every time he counted when she was being a brat… oh park sunghoon of park group international you need to be in my bed immediately. you can break it too………

coming off anon to say this cause i needed to attach this picture idc.

#CLOCKED.

This is gonna cover both parts!!

Starting with hoon pov- i feel spoiled babe you don’t understand how carnally i need both their pov's for every scene. Y'know born in blood chronicles... there's the first book from the mc's pov abd then there's a 0.5 book that's basically the exact same just in the ml's pov. you should plagiarise

How helpless he feels with his father and how he doesn't even blink about it anymore just breaks me. And the bile at his throat at the words being not only bc he knows they're lies, but bc he knows you don’t want that now AND the fact that it might’ve been truth in a different reality neither of them is living in bc even if he didn’t change he still couldn't be with her bc of the life his father planned for him.

Is it right to say he's disassociating while giving the speech? The way he knows that even if he's on the brink nobody will notice in public bc of his parents' grooming to have the perfect little heir god

The driver simply knowing where to take him💔

Now it may very well be a "the door was simply blue" situation but I feel like the coldness of the rink and blue paint and crooked sign are a reflection of hoon's mental state atm. He feels disconnected from his own life so he tries to take over it the only way he can and that leaves him tilted and wrong all around. And the rink being his safe space with the coldness,, the rink being to him the underworld to hades

And then yn's carving being remnants of persephone in the underworld at summer months💔

Also trying not to think about her while fingering her carving is insane bro

Y/n getting a taste of what hoon's childhood and all life is like throught the infinite rules thrown at her and seeing him not even blink at it

“And every man everywhere would kill to be in Park Sunghoon’s place right now—myself included.” preach girl

Y/n almost screaming I cheered so hard when she finally got an unfiltered emotion from him (even if it was panic)

“Ah, then we’ll need to have the team on standby by our side at all times, won’t we, darling?” FUCK OFFFFFFF

Yn better than me if someone called me "mrs. Boyfriends last name" let alone a fake one that i hate i would throw hands

Also I used hate purposely. My mom always says you can only hate someone if you've loved them first

I love that yn has a tiny respite in the shape of ningning in all of this mess

Her skipping all the warm, springy, pure colors in preference for blsck which is the darkest deepest and most contrasting shade feels like a way to say she's diving deeper into her carnal self and away from her pure public persona

I love the way you write sunghoon being in yn's mind, bc it's so real. She loved (loves) him and now can't stand the sight of him while still hoping her hoonie is underneath that man, which leads to every unwanted thought she has of him to be so hopeful yet disgusted and disappointed in herself for even thinking about him

Jungwon debut! Love my bby, adored this adorable scene of the boys being themselves

"I hate her i don’t care about her" park sunghoon, teeth, October 2025- while knowing how she hates drinking and why and remembering the exact scene from 6 years ago

The sunghoon andjake thing- is the guilt hoon's bc he's actually the fault of their falling out or is it him thinking he's at fault bc jake helped him so much (according to hoon) that anything that happens to them simply HAS to be his fault

"Especially when you’re supposed to be his… his whatever. Jesus, he can’t even think straight."

and you didn't even drink🤭🤭

"And the worst part is—he knows exactly what kind of idiot would do that. The same kind who’d sat in a conference room years ago with his jaw clenched, nodding through every rule they threw at him until he’d walked out and done the exact opposite just to prove he could claw back any piece of control for himself."

The way they're so alike it hurts, they understand each other's thought process so much yet they don't even see that

“Again? wait… You guys do things without me? Oh, I can’t breathe,” me actually

"“Oh!” you squeal and move slightly away from Jake, your voice pitched higher than usual. “Hoonie’s here!”

The room goes quiet around the edges of his hearing."

Yeah... you're fucked boy

“Yeah?” he says quietly. “Like you took care of your last one?”

Ok so they fell out bc of a woman ig??? And it happened during summer ok🧐

"“The hell are you trying to do? Is this about—” Sunghoon starts again, but then Jake cuts him off."

Definitely bc of a woman

The way hoonie cares for her in this scene while yn lets him manhandle her and listens without arguing is so🥺🥺

"You got me anyways" "dance with me" oh i know hoon is WRECKED

The callback to the skating scene god

"He can’t stomach the sound of his own voice cutting through your softness right now,"

Yn getting all clingy and holding onto her hoonie causing sunghoon to malfunction is one of the reasons I started tearing up yesterday

bc FUCK YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T CUT THROUGH HER SOFTNESS RIGHT NOW YOU FAKE HATER ASS YOU LOVE HERRRRRRR

The way he knows her address like the back of his hand where can i find this level of yearning, hopefully unsuppressed please?

Please let riki actually tell her I'm begging

I'll mention it again bc you are insane.

Sunghoon being the fucking broken shoe. Y/n can’t fix him, he's not trully fixable at all, she just wants him back to the way he belonged to her. Did Shakespeare possess you or something because what. The. Actual. Fuck.

I'm also pretty sure this is where tears seriously started welling in my eyes

pLEASE LET HER BITE HIS BICEPS PLESSE

Sunghoon blushing and holding back laughter god i prayed for times like these😫🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

I STILL AM BC LET IT BE WHEN SHE’S SOBER GOD (summer I'm praying to youvpls)

"He keeps his hands steady around you because there’s a girl with your laugh and your tenderness halfway asleep in them already, and that, more than anything, has the power to ruin him if he drops it." So here i was quite literally sobbing. yeah. i blame my period even tho it was the sixth day.

SUNGHOON BEING SO CARING I CAN'T fuck you mean he took her makeup off😭😭😭 and made sure she has painkillers😭😭😭😭😭

She knows she can no longer trust jake, what with her hoping it was riki who brought her back

Drunk yn has a thing with shoes

Sunoo being so true and also so caring and not judging her is so healing tbh i needed to see that

He just goes with y/n's flow while obviously offering advice and also bulling her into hate fucking (finally) but she also knows he doesn't pressure her and is half joking their relationship is so awe🤏🤏

Riki you betrayed me💔 you're demoted from bias wrecker

Also GUT FEELINGSSSS

Y/n's ability to get mad at hoon while he's simply breathing is admirable

He leaned back in his seat, and his voice was low. “You always this pleasant in the mornings?”

Wouldn’t you like to know weatherboy?

Her sleeping on his shoulder and him not moving🥺

The whole hotel refreshments scene is so aggravating bc the way y/n feels, IS, belittled to nothing but a pretty thing next to him like she's some unknown model that he's dating, instead of the daughter of one of the most known company heads and is known for things she herself did too, is so realistic. The way she disassociates in those moments and just smile politely bc it's all she can do, bc even if she simply corrected them at the "mrs. Park" thing or about how she's a person on her own in the most polite way, it would be considered causing a scene and would make those men belittle her more to the ppl gathering there and sunghoon. Though if that happened he'll probably snap at them quickly seeing how he made sure to defend her when she was called an accessory, even if he lies to himself to say that "it's for the act".

And how she gets hit with her parents relationship after he defends her is so fucking cute bc yes!! Hoon would let you walk over him and say thank you. In the deepest, most hidden, locked to himself too, corners of his soul.

"Then he dips his head even lower until his lips brush the shell of your ear. “Maybe just try growing a spine instead,” he murmurs. “You talk big when it’s me, but the second someone else speaks over you, you just stand there and take it.”"

Can i just say that i love how you find the words for him to always rephrase his "kind" thoughts to tear through her?

Bc yeah he's taunting her rn, but he also just told her "i know what your worth and you know it too so act it"

"Like we never—" Summer. Summer are they exes. Or just emotionally unwell. You said y/n is an unreliable narrator. What if she simply doesn't allow herself to think about the time she knew he loved her.

And don't tell me "but she thought no one knew of her crush" they're rich and famous!!! They were secretive from e v e r y o n e

This is a p.s from the end of the chapter- there was a cut off again👹👹 They used to date.

SOOHA

"tripping over his own shoes, saying your name like he owed you something when he didn’t really," i'm like 98% sure now that they were dating (I'm delusional)

Wait circling back to the few months ago-- jake and hoon's fallout was bc of her???👀👀

Sunghoon possessive😍

"“And he still refuses to tell me what you’d rambled about that night!” she laughs again, and you almost scrunch your face to mock her."

About y/n bitch

You write scenes so realistically bc we all have that one bitch that even without uttering a word makes you feel small and stupid and I'm so glad y/n managed to wipe her smile of her face

Y/n putting sooha in her place and hoon calling her sweetheart that's it bye

Y/n's chapter for sure bc I'm so hyped with her finally telling him what she doesn’t like instead of keeping it hidden or just doing a back and forth with him🙌

"He blinks—looks surprised—then annoyed, then the annoyance melts into something small and close to a smile that he poorly tries to hide." Did he know this is his chance to hit or like,,,

"shake you until you get it through your thick skull that none of this matters. That none of them matter. That you—”

See!!! Callback to what I said about how you find words to perfectly twist his. Bc this is what he meant when he told her to grow a spine

Y/n doing the first move damn🫦

THROWING HIS WORDS RIGHT BACK AT HIM DAMN YEAH

I have to mention that "closer" was playing while the smut started😵‍💫

I'm gonna be completely honest i did not think they would kiss simply bc a kiss is usually so emotional and telling, but they're swallowing each other up in their carnal feelings and I think that’s more telling than anything.

The banter, the power trips, the biting, the RAW HUNGER

The fact that they're both so vocal and whinyyy, the eye contact, the praise, the pet names, degradation, overstimulation, the way they wrecked the room

The way they need to remind themselves it doesn't mean anything oh god

They're like fucking rabbits they just keep going

“Why would I beg for something that’s already mine?” he whispers.

Bye. I exploded.

"For just a second, his brows furrow when his eyes flick over your face as you wince, but you’re too focused on the feeling of being stretched out so roughly to say anything—his grip eases just a little, and his thumb rubs a rough circle over your hip. “Relax. Breathe. I know you can take it. You want to, don’t you?”"

🫠🫠🫠🫠

The condom scene🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Y/n calling hoon a good boy🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

“You’re lucky I like it when you’re mouthy,” OH DO YA NOW

Their matching stamina🥵🥵

"They could set this whole fucking hotel on fire and I’d still keep you here. I’ll fuck you all year if I have to.”

GOOD.BYE.

“This—” he mutters against your lips between kisses, “didn’t—” kiss “—mean anything.” kiss “You get that?” as I said in the comments. Sure, babe.

IM MENTIONING AGAIN the fact that hoon said smth twice that y/n was too far gone to hear. It feels important. I need to know👹👹👹👹👹

Also honorary mention in chapter 11 y/n says "oh my god" and sunghoon replys grinning "not god, just me" i was on the floor. You need to plagiarise yourself sometime again bc omfg🥵🥵🥵🥵

Also luv if I'm spamming you tell me- when I get into smth i get obsessed with it as you might’ve noticed so tell me if you want me to tone it down lmao

On that note! Would you like if i made a playlist for this fic and analyse why i put each song there?👀

ok so!!!! 💥💥 HELLO!!!!!! i have so much i wanna say… but first I WANNA GIVE YOU A LITTLE (massive) CRUMB behind my decision to make them kiss HEHEHEHE

so originally i was going to write that she sets another rule before they have sex aka no kissing (because a kiss means something.) and then i wanted her to be the one to break her own rule out of pure spite just to prove she can cause he’d call her soft for it and taunt her. but i realized the contradiction is even better if i just have her kiss him first with no preamble and no rule because it’s a direct callback to her telling him “don’t touch me” ;; all the rules she set… and then she’s the one who reaches for him ;; it’s not just impulsive it’s about power and defiance like she’s making it clear i decide when this happens. i decide when it means something or when it doesn’t. not you. (BECAUSE HOON HAS BEEN DRILLING IT INTO HER HEAD!!! and she doesn’t like rules!!!)

another major thing that i wrote is that they both know how much a kiss could mean so they strip it of softness entirely hence all the biting and teeth clashing and messiness 🫠🫠 (i mean they’re freaks who are into it but i’d reckon their kiss would be more passionate and soft and tender if they were their childhood selves yknow? this is them trying to prove they’re not those people anymore 😭)

also my thought process behind making sunghoon kiss her at the end… whew. i wont say too much but i see it as a way of him weaponizing it and being cruel and also its obviously very contradicting

I’M SAYING TOO MUCH I KNOW IM SORRY I HAVE TOO MANY THOUGHTS 😭😭 but one last thing before i shut up pls… oh god forgive me if this complicates your interpretation omg i don’t like over-explaining cause i want to leave things open for you guys but this is just a mind map take it as you will 🥹 for me personally, i think y/n is the kind of girl who’d rather die than pretend a kiss is a bigger deal than fucking him bc wdym you’re inside me but you won’t kiss me??? 😭 if anything she’d taunt him about it. and both of them are too spiteful and competitive .... like if either of them had stopped the kiss, that would’ve actually meant there are feelings involved. pulling away = admitting fear or tenderness, and neither of them can afford that right now 🥲 so they weaponize the kiss to deny any emotion at all… but of course , again;;;; that’s just my thought process as the author you are free to interpret it as you like AAAAA sorry i’m a nerd.

and okay last crumb fr 😭😭😭 you’re absolutely right about him disassociating ;; every time he’s blank he’s in his head. they’re so alike it’s ridiculous 😭

i love you… because the rink and the blue door and the crooked signs?? that was all 10000% intentional… i picked the rink for sunghoon’s comfort zone on purpose bc ice just is himmmmmmmmm ugh cold, controlled, impossible to get a grip on unless you know what you’re doing. idk i’m just really obsessed with symbols and easter eggs i feel like taylor swift… i can’t help myself almost everything is intentional AAAA you have no idea how happy you made me by pointing this out seriously

and your persephone and hades comparisons… 😭💐 :’)))))) truly speaking straight to my soul!!!

hehehe ningning saying that is also an easter egg (i am a rich man) (lol)

also notice how every color she skipped are spring colors… persephone… mhmhmhmhmm

stop you always notice my juxtapositions and callbacks im going to kiss you…

writing the shoe scene made me cry btw 🚬 symbolism like that is literally my favorite part of writing. i’m so happy it’s landing the way i want it to :’))))

ahhhhhhh the misogyny y/n experiences throughout this chapter…. play the man by taylor swift please

LMAOOO SOOHA making her raggedy ass debut as an evil lady in yet another enha fic… do you think belift knows the effect they had on enhablr when they decided to introduce sooha to their lore… heol

oh i love you for mentioning music i love you so bad… i’ll share that all i was listening to while writing the smut: hotel by montell fish, closer by NIN, gangsta by kehlani (the harley and joker flashback ver) (sorry i know this is lame but that song altered my brain chemistry when i first watched ss in 2016), where you belong by the weeknd, waiting game by banks, literally everything by the weeknd ALSO SPEECHLESS BY BEYONCE and southbound by artemas

i literally love you so much you are literally a gem to me i love how you took the time to quote everything in detail :( please i’d literally pay to hear all your thoughts i’m not joking you have absolutely no idea how happy this makes me :( i’m very passionate about my writing so it means so much that you care this much like it’s more rewarding than anything could ever be seriously 😭😭 you’re so smart and passionate and i just 🥹｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡i love you ！！！！！！！！ so much thank you for reading with such care and love it makes everything worth it truly truly truly. YOU ARE NOT SPAMMING ME AT ALL IF ANYTHING YOU ARE DELIGHTING ME!!! you are my joy!!!

"And the worst part is—he knows exactly what kind of idiot would do that. The same kind who’d sat in a conference room years ago with his jaw clenched, nodding through every rule they threw at him until he’d walked out and done the exact opposite just to prove he could claw back any piece of control for himself."

it fucking KILLS me how much of himself he sees in her like genuinely FUCKING KILLS ME. and the way this circles back to the previous chapter? “anyone but her” because while sunghoon has learned to put on a facade in order to survive, this is all so new to y/n…. and she’s acting the way he did years ago…… i know teeth hoon would never admit this to himself but i bet he’s at least feeling the smallest bit of GUILT for putting her in this situation….. *me at the psych ward* THIS ALL CIRCLES BACK TO “ANYONE BUT HER”!!!!! THIS IS WHY HE SAID IT NO ONE WILL EVER CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.

"He can’t stomach the sound of his own voice cutting through your softness right now,"

Gawd the men you put on this earth to hunt and go to war are getting caught SIMPING for the girl they PROMISED THEY HATE 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 FAKE ASS HATER😭😭😭😭😭😭

“Why would I beg for something that’s already mine?” he whispers.

My jaw was on the floor here . “this doesnt mean anything” my ASS😂

“This—” he mutters against your lips between kisses, “didn’t—” kiss “—mean anything.” kiss “You get that?”

Someone needs to smack sunghoon on the head like very hard. i volunteer

also. the entirety of sooha cameo made me so fucking angry i had to get out of the house and touch grass . first of all WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE LAST SAW SUNGHOON JUST A FEW MONTHS EARLIER. WHAT WHERE ALL THOSE INNUENDOS SHE WAS THROWING THEIR WAY? LIKE I KNOW DAMN WELL THAT GIRL DOESNT MEAN SHIT TO SUNGHOON BUT ON GOD MY HANDS WERE TREMBLING I WAS GENUINELY SO PISSED OFF. ESPECIALLY THAT FLASHBACK??? WHEN Y/N WALKED IN ON HER AND SUNGHOON???? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SUMMER IM GOING FREAKING INSANE.

no because i am actually clutching my face right now like i don’t even know where to start. YOU. YOU. every time you write to me it’s like being hit by a freight train of passion and love and soulmatism and i am addicted to it. i want to frame every sentence you’ve ever sent me. i want to convert it to crack and snort it. please.

you’ve dissected sunghoon’s whole psyche and pinned it under glass. you’re reading between every single line and i want to kiss your brain for it. BUT AGAIN IM NOT CONFIRMING OR DENYING ANYTHING SHIBAL I JUST ADMIRE YOU AND YOUR THOUGHTS OKAY OKAY 😭😭😭⁉️⁉️⁉️🫵🏼🫵🏼🫵🏼🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

THE FAKE ASS HATER EJWJFOWJWKDKWKKD man’s out here writing dissertations on how much he doesn’t care while actively worshipping the ground she walks on 😭😭😭⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ bitch ass hoe we saw you in that damn rink!!!!!! (Does He Know) (he doesnt) (he doesnt know he’s a fictional character) (im having an existential crisis) 

ALSO SUNGHOON NOT STOPPING BUT JAKE LEAVING WHEN HIS FATHER CALLED UH UH