#cgler

Heyyy guys. I accidentally posted this to the wrong account. Go to @peapodsplace for more like this!

Whats the purpose behind rules, punishments etc then if it's suppose to be therapy/therapeutic? Rules add unnecessary stress, and shame. punishments heighten that unnecessary stress. guilt and shame, If your someone who struggles with trauma/childhood wounds I don't get the unnecessary pressure. What if your a people pleaser? What if you have prefectionsim issues? What if you struggle with abandonment? What if your codependent? Thats why these communities make me uncomfortable because they don't account for these issues. Like as someone with also trauma this just seems unfair almost because it adds so many extra pressures and then puts on the costume of being a 'therapy'. Therapy doesn't do 'punishments and rules' or even 'reward charts'. Like is therapy rewarding? Yes. But it's cause of the work you put in there & you see it come back and benefit you. It's extremely fulfilling to see your work actually pay off. But yeah I have seen "guidelines" and comfort agreements for therapy. But I was also in a group setting with many people with different respected traumas. So the guidelines state things like "Don't talk about your trauma via group, or during breaks with group members" because for some people that's extremely triggering, especially if a trauma is recent or someone is doing something like EMDR. The only "rule" I can think of from dbt is: 'please don't skip 3 (back to back) therapy sessions in a row without informing us" It's cause the program is hard to get into, (took me 2 years) limited seating. They only allow 14 students per chunk of course.... and it's a 14 month course, 2 times a week. One session is 3 hours long, the other is a hour long sessions 1:1 with a therapist privately. They run two groups each year at the same time(s). So I get the please don't skip rule. There's a major wait list to get in. Also We do each module 2 aside from mindfulness which is repeated in between ever other module. (6 classes total I think) They do a rolling graduation I think is the term. So after ever module typically 4(or less) students do graduate from dbt. So ever year they see about 84 adult "students" learning skills. So 84x2=168 students with bpd graduate per 14 months courses. (I'm giving this info up. =/ ) The purpose behind saying don't skip is also cause people do have behaviours of avoiding discomfort and it's better for that to be addressed via therapy privately if the person is ready. But even then, they don't boot you out if you have reasonable reasons not to show up. (I.e. sick) They also don't announce someone is leaving. "Sam is leaving cause they are not showing up!!" they don't do this. Different people have reasons also to discontinue therapy. (I.e. Moving) I'm explaining this because this is a real therapy. And it's the only comparison I can think of. And you can't compare cgler to something like dbt. I haven't seen this from "CGLER" the "therapy". I've seen posts about rules which are always 'daddy/mommy' themed, ("Listen to mommy" "ask daddy for permission....") i've seen reward stuff posted which isn't really therapeutic imo, and punishment posts including terms like 'time outs' 'sfw spankies' and 'privileges taken away' or 'early bedtimes", which also aren't therapeutic. To me that is k*nk. =_= also the childhood part is interesting, I didn't have a good one. But cgs and cgler I don't feel like reflects what I'm missing. Having someone roleplay isn't going to fix childhood wounds, cptsd or the fact that I was (repetitively) homeless as a child. (And other issues) To me that feels misguided & because of the dynamic it opens you up to be abused further.

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I'm showing my true colors by having boundaries? Interesting. :/ Also having boundaries means I haven't grown up? More interesting seeing as I was taught boundaries when I was 26/27 by a licensed professional in dbt. but alright. I mean what do I know. =/

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