Cestus Deception review: Part 2 (now with less wine):
Finished up Cestus Deception while taking a much-needed drive around town (by myself, not getting out except to take some pictures of mountains in a remote area, in a car no one else ever gets into because...well, one I am terrible about keeping a neat car and two I tend to hoard strange, partially disassembled instruments in my backseat along with exercise clothing, power tools, and books. #socialdistancing please do it, my friends).
Kenobi’s plan! Was to...visit an opium den, collude with a criminal, and then fake a Sith acolyte attack on a bunch of commerce families with Kit Fisto playing the role of evil!being? All in the name of getting the ruler of the planet to sign an accord with the Republic to stop manufacturing Jedi-killing droids? But, it was all a fake? Kenobi! Your deviousness is showing.
I CAN’T, YOU GUYS. Who came up with this name for Kit? How did they not both start laughing hysterically? Kit “Nemonus” Fisto roleplaying as a lightwhip-wielding Sith battling Obi-wan Kenobi. This was your plan, Kenobi? Honestly.
And then Ventress gets some footage of Kenobi’s machinations and he is totally exposed in front everyone at the signing of the accord and ordered offworld. I mean, 100% caught in his own bullshit.
And then he doubles-down, I don’t know, I kinda dig this intense version of Obi-wan. He’s very...I hate to say it (lie, I *love* to say it) Dooku-ish in this novel. ...eeeehhhhh, *shrugs aggressively a la Larry David* can’t complain?
Okay, so Obes and his barrister friend are ordered offworld. Not even two minutes out of the atmosphere, Obi-wan is basically like, yeah, no, I’m going back down and peaces out on an escape pod while ordering a clone to take law-friend back to Coruscant.
And then Ventress attacks the ship. Xutoo, the clone...well, it doesn’t end well.
Surprisingly, Doolb Snoil (who I keep wanting to call Sny Snootles which I know is incorrect) survives this encounter and escapes on his own via pod to the surface. I was 100% expecting him to bite it because all of Obi-wan’s friends tend to bite it in tragic manner...
HAHAHAHAHHA NEVERMIND THEY NEEDED TO WAIT FOR ANOTHER ONE OF OBI-WAN’S FRIENDS TO DIE IN HIS ARMS WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY, STAR WARS, WHYYYYYYYYYYY??????
Okay, so I feel like the audiobook was abridged because I would have remembered this exchange. I think. Or I was distracted. Not unprecedented. Anyway, this is the kind of philosophical debate about free will in this universe I love and it does raise some very interesting ethical questions about the Jedi practice of taking children at that age. (Granted, no one was ever a prisoner of the Jedi Order, but it is far more difficult to escape an institution when you have been brought up in it. But then again, perhaps that child would have had a far worse life on their home planet. Or not. And it’s rare we see any insight into that decision, beyond Dooku in Dark Rendezvous, and of course, Rael, to a certain extent and Anakin. (If you know of others in Legends or Canon, let me know because I find it to be a fascinating question with no good answer.))
Meanwhile, Obes and Kit’s little Onderon-esque insurrection is drawing the attention of the local authorities.
Why, yes, I agree, Dura. Brilliant, ferocious, tactically diverse, respectful, knows the Alderaanian Reel, *ahem*
Can we briefly talk about the spider-friend army attacking the Jedi Killer droids and defeating them because the droids, like recent Apple products, had a shitty battery life? Gotta get that portable battery/USB for your genocidal droids, Dooku. That was some Class-A Star Wars bullshit.
Speaking of the JK droids, Obi-wan battles one himself later, and two things about this encounter:
Did...did Obi-wan just...punch a droid to death? I mean...well, that is to say...not very civilized, is it, Kenobi?
Sorry, but the love story between Jangotat (Nate) and Sheeka Tal was...less than inspiring. Maybe it was the narration or the editing (as I am realizing going through the pdf that they cut some stuff for the audio version), but I was not so into it. Then again, romance isn’t really my thing in general. But Obi-wan Kenobi being a living Jedi pregnancy test...(okay, okay so I’m sure all Jedi were able to sense little life Forces forming themselves in people’s reproductive systems, but the fact that Star Wars feels compelled to come back to this idea of Obi-wan pointing out secret pregnancies is pretty hilarious, in my mind. Obi-wan Kenobi, Jedi Master and aspiring OBGYN. Good lords.)
I love the confrontation between Ventress, Obi-wan and Kit. Kit is such a third wheel here, his only reason for being is to make vaguely threatening comments towards Ventress and for her to ignore them so she can continue to villain-monologue at Kenobi. Also, Dooku wanted Obi-wan alive? WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED.
Okay, but Obi-wan and Ventress have the most EXTRA duel ever. They have a lightsaber battle...underwater? And then somehow rip each other’s rebreathers out at some point, which, let’s be honest, kiiiinda feels like a euphemism and then Ventress just gets frustrated with Obi-wan’s lack of coronavirus, meaning he can hold his breath underwater a really long time and peaces out in an angry cloud of random underwater smoke. Hilarious. THIS LINEAGE, I SWEAR, DOOKU IS THE INSTIGATOR OF SO. MUCH. DRAMA.
Can we appreciate that Obi-wan’s “backup plan” is to buy a half-million credit radiation suit form a opium addict gangster and sabotage a commercial production plant singlehandedly? And he shows up with credits! The Council must have loved that request. Half a million credits. The audacity of this man.
All this to sabotage a plan, that apparently, was a total smokescreen. It turns out that no, the CIS wasn’t trying to mass-produce Jedi killing droids, but pretending to in order to lure the Republic and engage them in combat where they would be framed for mass civilian casualties. That is some 4D chess, right there. Well played, both Dooku and Sidious. Well fucking played.
Okay, I think (think) audiobook cut the part where Obi-wan:
a) negotiated for spider clemency from Dura, who is so smitten by Kenobi she’s totally going to go with it even though Obi-wan is totally representing large, poisonous spiders this is FANTASTIC. (side note, I love spiders) Obi-wan Kenobi, Friend to Large Animals is probably the truest thing I have ever posted on this hellsite, so now we add gigantic spiders to the list. Have I mentioned I love this man? And who else but the student of Qui-gon fucking Jinn would be like this? Of course. Of. Course.
b) where he admitted to at one point being in love (what?!?) and
c) where he was the sole preoccupation of Ventress’s thoughts as she left Ord Cestus, just...what???? Amazing. Truly amazing.
Overall, I really enjoyed the Obi-wan characterization, it was nice to see Kit in action (and Kit, by the way, didn’t totally approve of Obi-wan’s methods but went along with it), the Jangotet/Nate storyline was okay. Some of the machinations of the overall plot were a little muddled (which was probably due, in part, to the audiobook cuts) even if I did like how they tried to deal with the free will aspect of being a clone (even if it was not totally deftly handled). 7/10 would have been 7.5 but the audiobook cut some things that were important to me. (Or I zoned out and didn’t catch them :D
