For months all that's been rotating in my stupit little brain is how so much of twenty one pilots' music is very specifically about holding your hand out into the void you created around yourself and hoping and praying (sometimes literally) that someone is actually there to grab onto it and hold you back and preemptively wondering what's going to happen when they let go and leave you in the void again. but despite that fear and that gnawing sense that you'll end up alone anyway, you also can't not hold your hand out, because you have to try. you have to try anyway it's the only way to live
And paladin strait is kind of the climax/bookend to that, saying, actually, I know you're out there and I'm coming to get you and I know you're still going to be there when I make it. so of course I'm going to try. I never considered anything else
And I think the live paladin strait/bandito mashup is saying, from the other perspective, I was actually always here and would've always followed you, even if you decided to let go. because you and I are the same and I would never have chosen anything else, other than to be with you and wait for you. turn around.*
And it makes me ill it makes me sick !!!!! I hate it here !!!!!!!!
(*because orpheus but also they're singing it ass to ass 😔)
