Princest is so. It makes me feral. The devotion of moving the stars to save someone. The guilt of having to put them there in the first place.
The love, the admiration, wanting to be just like your big sister. The sting of rejection when you realize that you couldn’t be farther from her. The clawing, horrid desperation to try anyway, to make them love you, to make her love you. The one thousand years of fury, of regret, of longing trapped away.
Speaking of— THE LONGING. Stars above the longing. The loneliness of watching your friends, your students, your dearest ponies die over and over and over. Knowing that the only one who could always be with you, the one who won’t turn to dust in your hooves, you locked away, you drove away, you ignored. Wanting her back so badly that some nights, staring up into her visage, you feel mad with desperate need just to see her again. Just to hear her voice. Maybe being mad. Mad enough to manipulate the ones closest to you. To pull the strings. To stay distant enough to become the puppet master. To drive away a student, to become more icon than pony, to reshape the goddamn future for her, her, her.
To realize once she’s back that somewhere in those last thousand years that guilt and longing and devotion twisted your love into something new, something unspeakable, something you’ll stuff down down down because you finally have her back and can’t bear the thought of anything driving her away again.
The relief of being back. Of being you again after one thousand years. Thankful to a pony that you don’t realize yet was molded, shaped to save you and you alone. The joy and fear of seeing your perfect big sister again, beautiful and terrible as any supernova. The relief, the disbelief you feel when she forgives you. She’s letting you back in and you swear and swear and swear you’ll never dare hurt her again. The punishment you craft for yourself, for her sake, because stars know one thousand years was probably too lenient, to make sure that promise is kept, to remind you of the past sins committed and deep wounds inflicted. To make sure neither of you will ever be alone again.
They’re tragic and beautiful and oh so codependent and if they weren’t fucking sisters the whole fandom would ship them I know it in my bones.
