#celestaphone

-----Mx 107: Birgitta's Violet Iris----- (#1-24, 1:19:27)

Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs "Little Red Riding Hood" (2:46)

Jay Americana "parasite" (1:59)

Queasy Pieces "Good Boy" (3:53)

Aqualung "Complicated" (3:52)

White Girl Wasted "Doc Ellis (w DJ Premier)" (2:43)

Belle Weather "Madness" (3:36)

Frankie Cosmos "Spare the Guitar" (2:10)

Tommy V - "Lament - Life - Love" (3:22)

Lostboycrow "Coffee Drugs" (3:44)

Nervous Jerk "Strong Man" (2:04)

Debbie Harry "Inner City Spillover" (5:00)

Celestaphone "NEET Daughter" (2:54)

Innards "Goro" (4:13)

Velvet Negroni "Pop Song 1" (2:15)

Kills "New York" (4:04)

Eligh "Clouds_" (5:17)

Gabriels "Blame" (2:50)

Doom Flower "Enroll" (2:42)

Baboon Show "Sands of Time" (3:48)

Hobo Johnson "I Want to See the World" (2:53)

Shuko "How Long? (w Nia Wyn, Pete Philly, & Keymer)" (3:33)

MSPAINT "Titan of Hope" (3:29)

June Bug "Rollercoaster" (4:05)

Patsy Cline "Love, Love, Love Me Honey Do" (2:05)

Finally finished this. Started it at the beginning of the year and just kept it sitting there in my notebook at three quarters done.

I am six tracks into #108 already. I wonder how long it will take this time. Focus and concentration is something I am also working on in therapy.

Cult Subterranea - Celestaphone & Dealers of God

Main Genres: Abstract Rap, Political Rap, Experimental Rap

A decent sampling of: Neo-Psychedelia, Nerdcore, Psychedelic Rock, Conscious Rap

Oh, hey there little green guy. You look........menacing.

I'm just gonna say it - Celestaphone is so slept on. This guy is one of the most wonderfully bizarre hip hop artists out there right now, and it seems like only the dorkiest of the dorks like me ever talk about it. His delivery as a rapper is just the right mix of cartoonish and deadpan, and his lyrics are chalk-full of thought-provoking absurdist humour and wit. 2023's Paper Cut From the Obit was brilliant, easily one of the funnest listening experiences of the decade so far.

So when I learned he had teamed up with a psychedelic cloud rap producer to make a full-blown concept album, I was nerd gushing. Admittedly, however, I had already gotten about halfway through a Dealers of God album once before (probably on a work night around 1:00 am) when I decided I didn't really "get it" and went to sleep. Luckily, I had forgotten the artists name and had no idea it was the same guy going into this project, cause I might've put off listening to this little gem.

The overarching sound of Cult Subterranea is best described as lovecraftian tin foil hat alien conspiracy rap, with meta-commentary on late stage capitalism, techno-feudalism, the disinformation era, and cultural mass psychosis, playing over some really freaky ass psychedelic rock and hip hop beats. This is not something I knew I needed in my life, but after living through the surreal headlines of 2025 and near losing my goddamn mind in the process of it, I think it was the perfect year for this sort of record. And the bandcamp write up for this LP is, incidentally, fucking hilarious.

Cult Subterranea takes general inspiration (including the cover art) from a 90s CD ROM point-and-click game called Drowned God: Conspiracy of the Ages. Basically, its some Ancient Aliens alt history shit made by a man who was probably batshit insane and definitely most likely committed murder suicide. Sad and dark, but also weird and fascinating.

Also as a disclaimer: I am not a conspiracy nut, nor do I think Celestaphone is, but it makes for an interesting narrative device to frame and analyze the actual North American political landscape and reality-as-we-know-it in 2025, what with the cult of MAGA and qAnon, people literally worshipping AI and every Silicon Valley huckster shmuck, and a litany of other awful shit.

"Moscovium" is peak abstract hip hop, more of a rhythmic and maddened rambling set to bleepy-bloopy laser arpeggios. "Ayys Hello" is macabre, hilarious, and really fucking weird all at once, playing like a classic alien abduction exploitation B-movie with some S-tier hip hop storytelling courtesy of featured rappers Blu and Quelle Chris. The production choice of including the little abduction ray sound effects is simply chef's kiss.

"Seismic Sounding" takes the cake as his most WTF track yet, like something deep out of the early no wave scene with its dissonant piano and moans on top of a dead sounding funk bass and a militant percussive march. An absolute trip from start to finish, probably of the nightmarish sort that you'd have while taking datura or some other random deliriating forest plants.

Admittedly, and this was somewhat of a problem with the last Celestaphone record - I wish the rapping was higher in the mix on a lot of tracks here. A lot of good lyrics get lost in the production sludge of chaotic sound miasma. I also think that overall this is a shorter, tighter, and more ambitious-ideas-per-track project compared to his last record, but it doesn't contain quite as many standout moments per its length as did Paper Cut From the Obit, which was greatly consistent even on the tracks that were more just instrumentals and interludes.

Still, I'm very weak for this kind of stuff. I love dorky concept rap records made with love, and Cult Subterranea is definitely no exception. I highly encourage all fellow weirdos to give this one a try; just don't listen to it while you're taking shrooms and playing LSD Simulator or you might experience your own abduction and subsequent lobotomy by aliens.

8/10

Highlights: “Seismic Sounding”, “Ayys Hello (feat. Quelle Chris and Blu)”, “Moscovium", “Deep Underground"

For fans of:

Revelator by Elucid

Psychotrovas and Mantis by Headed

YOUNGMAN and Celestaphone’s New Album “A YEAR OF OCTOBERS” Will Heal Your Heart

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