“Patton? I don’t feel well,” he stated.

Concerned, Patton held his hand out. “C’mere, kiddo, sit down next to me.” He took the 10-year-old’s hand and felt his forehead. “I don’t think you have a fever, honey. What’s wrong? Does something hurt?”

“Um…my stomach hurts.”

There was something strange in Logan’s voice and Patton narrowed his eyes, trying to identify it. “Show me where, kiddo?”

Logan gestured vaguely at his stomach. He wasn’t meeting Patton’s eyes. “I just…don’t feel well. I don’t think I can go to school tomorrow.”

Patton’s eyebrows shot up. Logan had never told him he didn’t want to go to school. The last time he had been sick, he had tried to convince his moms that the thermometer was malfunctioning and had only accepted that he had to stay home when he had started throwing up. Something was definitely wrong, and it wasn’t a stomachache. Carefully, Patton said, “How about you lay down for a little while and we see how you’re feeling in the morning, okay, Lo? C’mon, I’ll walk with you back to your room and get you a glass of water.” He kept his hand on Logan’s shoulder as they headed down the hallway to Logan’s bedroom.

Curling up on his side, Logan gathered up the corner of his quilt in his hands and held onto it like someone else might hold a stuffed animal, clinging to it for comfort. Patton left him there for a minute to get a glass of water. He returned quickly and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Logan,” he said gently. “You can talk to me, you know that?”

“I told you, I have a stomachache,” Logan muttered.

Patton sighed and started rubbing the kid’s back softly. “Now, I don’t know if that’s the truth, but there’s more to it than that, kiddo. Talk to me, please.”

Logan sniffed and said nothing.

“Why don’t you want to go to school, Lo?” Patton pressed.

“Stomachache,” insisted Logan.

“Lying is wrong, Logan.” Patton kept his voice gentle, but made sure Logan could tell he was serious. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. I promise. I can tell that something big is bothering you, and I don’t like that you’re keeping it a secret. So talk to me. I’m here, kiddo.”

A shudder ran through Logan’s body. “I don’t want to go to school,” he whispered.

“Okay. You’ve gotta tell me why, though, honey, or I can’t do anything about it.”

Logan’s silence told Patton that this was going to be more difficult than he had anticipated.

“Did you get in trouble?” Patton guessed. “A bad grade? Argument with your teacher?”

The kid shook his head at all of them.

“Got a crush and you’re scared to see them?”

“Gross, no,” Logan replied, sounding rather disgusted.

“A falling out with a friend, then? Someone being mean to you?”

That last one didn’t get a head shake. Logan just gripped the quilt harder and curled up a little tighter.

“Logan, someone is being mean to you?” Patton didn’t let any anger sneak into his voice. He continued to rub his little cousin’s back as he added, “Logan, if someone is bullying you, you need to tell me. I can help.”

“They’re calling me a robot,” mumbled Logan. “And they don’t like me because I’m smarter than they are.”

“Oh, Logan…okay. How long has this been going on?” Patton asked.

“Well…” Logan hesitated. “Pretty much always. But this one boy is getting worse. And he started a rumor that I have a computer for a brain and that it isn’t even a good computer because I used a slang word wrong last week so now they say that my computer has a virus and nobody wants to be around me.”

Patton swore inside his head. How dare people be mean to his little cousin? Sure, Logan might be a little strange, but he was smart and kind even when he didn’t understand some social cues. “I’m really sorry they’re doing that to you, Logan. Have you told any teachers that it’s happening?”

“No. I don’t think they’d do anything about it, anyway. They never have for anyone else who came to them about anything,” Logan said.

“Unfortunately, that isn’t unusual. There isn’t much they can do, especially if they don’t see it happening. It might be better to go to the principal–but maybe when your moms come back, okay? In the meantime…” Patton hesitated. He didn’t like the idea of letting Logan stay home when he wasn’t sick, but he also didn’t like the idea of sending him off to school to be bullied. “You can stay home tomorrow. We can email your teacher and ask her to send your classwork here so you don’t get behind.”

“I don’t want to tell my moms.”

“It’s hard, but you gotta, Lo. This isn’t something I can fix with a snap of my fingers. I wish I could.”

“I shouldn’t be so upset about something so stupid.”

“Hey,” Patton scolded. “First of all, it isn’t stupid. Well, the kids who are mean to you are being stupid, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be hurt by it. And second, you’re allowed to be upset. You don’t have to hide your feelings. Even the ones you don’t like are important and they need to be felt. Believe me, kiddo, I’ve spent a long time working on that myself.”

“I know that they’re just…just doing it to get a reaction, or to help their own egos,” Logan said, his voice shaking a little. “But–“

“But that doesn’t make it hurt any less, Logan. I know. I know.”

“The books tell me to ignore it and they’ll stop, but I have ignored it and they don’t stop. And I sometimes wish I was a robot because…because then I wouldn’t feel it.” Logan shivered. He felt tense under Patton’s hand, like he was holding back a sob.

“It seems like it would be easier, Lo. I know. Oh, kiddo. Look at me, honey, can you sit up?” Patton helped Logan sit up, tilting his chin up so he could see the kid’s face. His heart broke as he saw the barely concealed tears in Logan’s eyes. “Take a deep breath, Logan. Can I hug you, kiddo?”

Logan’s lip quivered. He hesitated for a second before falling into Patton’s arms with a quiet sob.

“I’ve gotcha,” Patton murmured. He swayed from side to side, holding the kid tightly and cupping the back of his head. “There, there, Lo, you’re gonna be okay.”

“I don’t want to be crying,” Logan whimpered.

“Shhh, shhh. It’s okay.” Patton ran his fingers through Logan’s short brown hair. “But you gotta get the sad out sometimes. I’ve got you, kiddo.” He removed Logan’s glasses carefully and set them on the bedside table so they didn’t press into the child’s face when he hid against Patton’s chest to cry. “That’s it, I’ve gotcha. Shhh, you’re okay, baby. You’re okay. I’ve gotcha, for as long as you need to keep crying. Don’t try to force yourself to stop, that’s not healthy, okay? Just make sure to keep taking deep breaths.”

Logan’s arms were wrapped around Patton’s waist. He sobbed freely, wet splotches beginning to form on Patton’s blue t-shirt. It seemed like he had been holding this in for a while. At one point, Virgil came by and poked his head into the room. Patton gave him a smile and a reassuring thumbs-up, letting him know the situation was under control. Virgil nodded and left.

“Shhh, shhh,” Patton said softly. He moved his hand in wide, gentle circles on Logan’s back underneath his shirt. It seemed to be working to calm him down, and his sobs slowly got quieter and less distressed. “That’s it, you’re alright, sweetie. Deep breaths, you’re gonna be fine.”

“I feel bad,” Logan lamented. “And I don’t understand it.”

“I know, kiddo,” Patton sympathized. Logan had alexithymia, which meant he had a hard time identifying emotions in himself and in other people. “It does feel bad when people are mean to you. But you’re probably relieved to have told someone, and I know it’s hard to believe but you’ll probably feel better after crying. You might not have recognized that you needed to cry, but you definitely did. Probably for a while now.”

“Maybe,” Logan allowed. “I’m not sure.”

“That’s okay,” reassured Patton. “Don’t worry about it if you can’t figure it out. That’s just fine. The hugging helps, though?”

“Yeah. Cause you asked first. I don’t like it when people don’t ask first.” Logan was still squeezing Patton around his torso, as tight as his skinny arms could.

“That, my friend, is completely normal. And you can stay right here for as long as you need.” Patton leaned back against the wall, Logan completely in his lap now. He saw a few more tears slip down Logan’s face, but there were no more heavy sobs.

After a couple minutes, Logan leaned back, wiping his nose on his sleeve. “Thanks,” he mumbled.

“Yeah, kiddo. Hold on, I’ll be right back.” Patton hurried to the bathroom to grab some tissues and a wet washcloth. He handed the tissues to Logan, who blew his nose with a lot of sniffles. “Okay, tilt your head up, Lo. There you go.” He washed off the kid’s face with the washcloth, leaving the damp towel over his eyes for a minute. “There! No red splotchiness. How are we doing, honey?”

“Better…I think. And you won’t make me go to school tomorrow?” Logan checked.

Patton sighed. “Yeah, Lo, I’m not making you go to school tomorrow. But you do have to do all your classwork that the teacher sends you.”

Logan nodded emphatically. “Of course!”

“Okay, now be honest. Did you really have any stomachache?” Patton asked him, giving him a knowing look.”

Logan at least looked slightly abashed. “No,” he mumbled.

Patton clicked his tongue. “Lo, you should know better than to lie to me!”

“Sorry!”

“I’m not mad, but there’s gonna be consequences.”

“Okay…?”

A smile twitched the corner of Patton’s lips. “Lo, I don’t want to startle you, but I’m gonna grab you now, okay?”

“I–okay?” Logan said, confused.

Patton pounced, grabbing his cousin by the hips and pulling him back into his lap. He began squeezing at Logan’s sides, wiggling his fingers. Logan immediately started to laugh and squirm.

“No! No tickles, Pat!”

“Sorry, but you lied to me!” Patton teased. “Gotta face the consequences, kiddo!”

Logan didn’t have much of a fight response when he was tickled. Instead, he went limp after a couple seconds and let out squeaky, high pitched laughter. “Pa-a-atton!” he yelped. “Noooo, that’s no-o-ot fa-a-air!”

Patton giggled, pinning the kid down very gently to tickle at his tummy. “Hm? Sorry, I can’t understand you, I think you’re laughing too hard!”

“Tha-a-at tickles!” Logan squealed as Patton lifted up his shirt to scratch at his belly-button.

“Good! It’s a perfect punishment for lying to me and it’ll cheer you up,” Patton told him, smiling at the merry laughter coming from his cousin’s mouth. It was a nice change from the sobbing from a few minutes ago. “Tickle, tickle, tickle, Lo! Let’s see, how many ribs do you have?”

“H-humans ha-a-ahahah–have twe-e-enty f-ou-our ribs!” Logan laughed. “You do-o-on’t need to cou-ou-ount them, Pa-a-atton, no-oo-o!”

“Twenty-four, huh? Let’s check!” Patton walked his fingers along Logan’s ribs. “One, two, three, four–oh, you’re wiggling too much, I’ve lost count!” The game was usually more effective on younger kids–Roman fell for it every time, but Logan wasn’t protesting too hard and Patton was pretty sure he was happy that he wasn’t feeling sad and upset anymore. “I guess I’ll have to start over. One, two, three–no, stay still!”

“I ca-a-an’t!” giggled Logan. “It’s an involuntary respo-o-onse!”

“Hm, I’ll just have to hold you still then!” Patton tucked his leg over Logan’s to hold them down so he couldn’t kick, then used one hand to pin his wrists up above his head. Logan kept giggling. “Okay, that’s better! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…” The higher he climbed with his fingers along Logan’s side, the louder the kid’s laughter became. Patton grinned. “Nine, ten, eleven, twelve! Yep, twelve on that side!” He gave Logan’s armpit a poke, eliciting a squeal. “Now I’ve got to make sure it’s the same number on both sides.”

“I-i-it is, I pro-o-omise!”

“Hmmm, I’m gonna check anyway. After all, you did lie to me earlier.” Patton started at the top on the other side, working his way down. “One, two, three…”

Logan pressed his head back against the mattress, trembling as he laughed.

“And twelve! Yep, you’re right, kiddo! Twenty-four!” Patton concluded.

“I to-o-old you-ou-ou!”

“You sure did!” Patton patted his belly, giving him a second to breathe before starting to tickle under his arms again. He let go of Logan’s wrists so his arms could fly back down to his sides, trying to protect the ticklish spots but actually ending up trapping Patton’s fingers there. “Oh, dear, whatever shall I do now?” Patton teased, wiggling his index fingers into the sensitive skin. “Does that tickle?”

“Ye-e-es!” Logan protested. “Pat–” His laughter was weakening. “O-o-okay, I ge-eh-ahahaha! I get it! Plea-ea-ease!”

“Please what?” Patton inquired, but he started to slow down.

“Sto-o-op, no mo-o-ore ti-i-ickles!” pleaded Logan.

Patton pulled his hands away. “Had enough?”

Logan nodded, still giggling. He grabbed for Patton’s hands to ensure that he wouldn’t start tickling again. His eyes were bright, and the tears in their corners were from laughter instead of misery. Patton’s heart warmed, though he couldn’t help being angry at the kids from his cousin’s school. How dare they accuse this precious child of being a robot or a computer? He had feelings, whether or not he could identify them! He was just a kid.

“No more,” Logan panted.

“No more,” Patton agreed. “All done, kiddo. Learned your lesson?”

“No lying,” Logan said dutifully.

“That’s right, no lying. And talk to me when something is bothering you!” Patton let Logan sit up. “Want to go back to the living room, make sure Roman hadn’t broken anything yet?”

“Okay–I already finished all my homework!”

“Good for you, kiddo! I’m gonna start making dinner soon. Thinking pasta. How does pasta sound?” suggested Patton.

“That sounds good.” Logan hopped off the bed. “Okay, I’m going to check to make sure Roman hasn’t shattered the vase on the counter.”

“Ooh, yeah, that’s a good idea,” Patton said quickly, and followed Logan into the living room. Thankfully, Roman had not broken anything and was laying on the floor babbling about something to a stuffed dragon. “How ya doing, Ro-ro?”

“Dragon Witch gave up!” Roman proclaimed.

“That’s great, kiddo.” Patton shook his head fondly, ruffled Roman’s hair, and went into the kitchen so he could start dinner.

His thoughts got pretty bad. He wanted to tell someone! But they probably would just laugh in his face and tell him to be quiet.

So he sat as the thoughts screamed at him.

Your laugh sounds horrible, ugly, weird!

Logic is emotionless. You showed emotion, you failed!

Laughing and happiness is not a good look at you. Your laugh is weird and ugly, just fake it if you have to!

Happiness? Logic is emotionless, it’s more efficient, you showed emotion they will never take you seriously!

You failed, you failed Patton, you failed Virgil, you failed Roman, you failed Thomas! You failed as logic: the emotionless efficient working robot!

Tears slowly fell down Logan’s face. He shouldn't let this happen to him but, he was too weak to stop it.

It was illogical to allow this but he did. He already failed...

‘KNOCK KNOCK’

“Come in” Logan said wincing as his voice broke. Then the door opened to Patton and Virgil. Oh god he was crying! He could not let them see him like this! He pulled his notepad higher to hide his face as he pretended to write

“Logan kiddo, what’s wrong? I can feel the bad emotion coming from your room,” Patton said concernedly.

“Logan bud, your anxiety is pretty bad, what’s wrong? You can tell us, we won’t laugh,” Virgil said with concern too.

“I’m fine, you two,” Logan said unconvincingly.

Patton looked at Virgil and Virgil nodded “Falsehood” they both said at the same time. He looked up, and they both saw enough to know the truth. Logan’s eyes were red and puffy. He wasn’t okay.

“Fine...I was having a bad day…? But I’m fine now,” he said, still not convincing Patton or Virgil.

Virgil sat beside Logan and looked him in the eye. “Bad thoughts? On the new video?” he said. Logan was always confused at how Virgil read him so easily. It was black magic or something!

Patton sat on the other side and then his face look like he had realized what was wrong, and he had. It was like some parent magic or something!

“Logan are you having bad thoughts like Virgil said about the new video because you let loose, because you were yourself? Wait...Aha! Because you showed emotion and laughed!” Patton said and Logan nodded.

“How?...” Logan asked the two.

“How what kiddo?” Patton asked as Virgil looked at him, confused

“How do you read me so easily?” Logan said.

“Magic” they said in unison

Logan looked down as the thoughts screamed still, and then he feel two pairs of arms around him. Patton and Virgil were hugging him. He hugged back.

Then Patton rubbed his side to comfort him, Virgil and Patton did not expect his reaction

A squeal and a giggle and a red faced Logan. Virgil thought Logan could not get anymore perfect.

Patton thought it was too CUTE!

So he continued to rub Logan’s side as he started poking too. Virgil joined Patton as they both poked and prodded at his sides

“GuuuUUUuyssss DOnt, itttt tickleeeeessss!” Logan squeaked and giggled out. Patton and Virgil’s hearts exploded with how adorable Logan was especially when tickled!

“C’mon Logan, we love your laugh! It sounds beautiful,” Virgil whispered in his ear, and Logan blushed at the compliment. He wouldn’t admit it, but it helped a lot.

“Awwww Lo! You seem so happy! It’s nice to see you smile that beautiful smile!” Patton whispered in his other ear making his blush crawl to his neck and reach his ears.

That's when they switched tactics, Virgil went to Logan’s underarms and started swirling his fingers, making Logan laugh loudly

Then Patton started tickling Logan’s belly and navel. He started scratching his nails across it, and Logan was in tickling heaven!

The two Lers smiled at the state they put Logan in. It was amazing! He was laughing beautifully and smiling brightly with a perfect crimson blush! He was carefree, something no one really saw on Logan, but that would change!

That’s when Logan made a noise no one had heard before from him. He snorted! It was cute and amazing and he turned red, very red.

“Awww Lo! That was sooooo cute!” Patton squealed as he fangirled about the embarrassing noise.

“Logan bud, that was undeniably adorable,” Virgil said, and Logan remember when he had said that about Virgil.

Logan was lost in laughter. The two Lers finally stopped and he sat and breathed.

“Now Logan, if you are ever not okay, you can tell us, okay? We'll help you through this, we promise,” Patton said as he handed Logan a water bottle.

“Logan, you don’t have to be Mr. Emotionless Robot. You're not just logic, you are Logan Sanders. You are allowed to feel, and if anyone says different, they don’t matter!” Virgil said

“And remember you can laugh! Your laugh is beautiful and it’s like music to my ears kiddo! Never think it’s not,” Patton said.

“Thank you guys, really,” Logan said. He looked at them and smiled, and he knew he could overcome this. One step at a time.