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You sigh, looking into your blue orbs in the mirror before throwing your messy hair into a bun and heading downstairs in your skinny jeans and converse. Your mom sits at the table smoking a forbidden plastic cigarette. "I've sold you for more money" she says. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Ello love" says the dangerous crow boy.
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Martin: This statement is important!
Jon: Did you look into the statement giver's fate?
Martin: I did look into the statement giver's fate
Jon: Only stupid people look into statement givers' fates. You are stupid.
Tim: I looked into the statement giver's fate
Jon: You are a whore
Tim: This vexes me
Carlos Vittery: I am being haunted by a spider
Martin: That's bad
Carlos Vittery: Also I have arachnophobia
Sasha: You need to be researched. Also, I have not spoken in a while
Jon: No, research will lie to us. He needs to be disbelieved.
Martin: I forbid this!
Jon: Don't care. More disbelief.
Carlos Vittery: I died
Jon: This is unrelated to the spider
Elias: I too am in this episode
Oh to be a random student at Prufrock Prepatory School. Imagine you go to the world's most boring, depressing school, where the only interesting thing is this one thirteen year old girl that wants to kill anyone that doesn't smile at her, and then within the span of a few weeks, you get five new students, all of which are orphans, two of them get kidnapped by your new gym teacher who is actually a murderer in disguise, the other three immediately get expelled, and then even the annoying girl is gone. And then your maths teacher gets arrested for robbing a bank and your vice principal burns to death a few weeks later.
You’ve just met your celebrity crush backstage, but he seems a bit shaken. Do you:
1. Ask him if he’s okay and lend an ear if he wants to discuss his issues with a stranger
2. Have a polite conversation and leave respectfully as you were always planning on doing
3. Say you always assumed he was gay, explain gay sex to your sister, get him to confess that he’s in love with his butler, hide in the cupboard when he confesses his love to his butler, hope they fuck
4. Wish him a good night and don’t add more to his plate by trying to get him to talk to you
The best iteration of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson is very obviously the improvised comedy one, which starts with a heartbreaking scene of a man completely delirious with dementia and his best friend desperately trying to maintain normalcy, and ends with a heartbreaking scene of a man collapsing in his best friend’s arms, overcome with insanity, as his best friend prepares to shoot him.
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Two of my favourite details about We Love Poetry is A) They did not cast the double English major as one of the poets and B) The trailer purposefully straightbaited us all
“Richie was finally happy right before he died!” RUTH WASN’T. RUTH DIED SUICIDAL AND ISOLATED FROM HER ONLY FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY WERE RECOVERING AND SHE WASN’T. RUTH DIDNT EVEN GET TO BE HAPPY, AND EVEN HER DEATH WAS A HUMILIATION.
Oh the implications of Bella A) Owning a book called "How To Be Queer" and B) Lending her father a book called "How To Be Queer" in the hopes it will help him find himself after her mother's death
