#cdm morgan

It only took one knock on the door before Morgan opened it. “Hey Alana.” He smiled. “Hey Morgan. Thanks for inviting me.” She greeted as she stepped into the dorm and set her backpack down. “I’m surprised you took me up on my offer...” Morgan admitted as he and Alana took seats at his desk and pulled out their notebooks. “I know it’s a little unorthodox to not cut you off if I’m cutting Alexy out... But, you’re an innocent party in all of this... So, you don’t deserve punishment...” Morgan looked down. “About Alexy... He’s been really upset. First he lost you, then Rosalaya.” Alana looked confused. “What do you mean “then Rosalaya”?”

Morgan began explaining what he knew had happened between Alexy and Rosalaya. The miscarriage, the fight, the separation, and Alexy’s spiral into depression. Alana looked down. “I didn’t know. I saw Leigh a while ago, he looked completely distraught... I’m sorry that that happened... I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy...” Morgan looked at her. “Listen, I don’t know your full reasoning behind cutting them out, but I do know that they need you...” Alana clenched her fists. “But why? Why should I? I come home and make what I’ve become plain as day and they immediately jump on me. They stopped talking to me before I joined the R.D.R. I needed them to talk to while mom was in the hospital and they weren’t there. They abandoned me! Then, when I did come back, they made it very clear that they disregarded the one thing I asked them to do while I was gone! They tossed Nathaniel aside like he was garbage, despite knowing what he had gone through... They were so adamant about getting me with Hyun, even though they knew I only want to be with Nath... And don’t get me started on how they were trying to pour drinks down my throat... I’ve needed help! I’ve needed them to be my friends, and they couldn’t be bothered to do that. So... Tell me Morgan... Why? Why should I help them now?” Morgan thought for a few minutes as he looked down at his notes. “Because you’re a good person.”

Alana looked at him for a while. She didn’t know what to think. She knew they were both right. “Morgan, you say I’m a good person... A lot of people say that. But, I have friends who have been there for me for most of our lives, despite us all being apart. Viktor and Severina have been my best friends since Pre-K. We’ve been through thick and thin. They know what’s going on in my life and I know what’s going on in theirs. Both of them have made a great point to me... That point being that I’ve been trying to save the world for most of my life and that for once, I need to save myself. I’ve been constantly sacrificing myself for the well being of others. I’ve done it for them, Alexy, Rosalaya, Castiel, Nathaniel, Armin, Lysander, my mom, and for innocent people who I didn’t know until I was getting them to safety... Hell, I’m still doing that for Nath... But here’s the difference... The people I keep around know that my help goes both ways. Viktor, Severina, Armin, Lysander, Priya, Chani and Castiel all listen to me. They give me reasons to care about them... And because of that, I want to be there for them. Nathaniel is the love of my life. He has saved me so many times that its difficult to count them... In big ways and in small. Hell, even my high school bully, Amber, has become someone I care about because of how she treats me. All Alexy and Rosalaya have done since I got back is take. They never once lent me their ears. They didn’t give me a chance to talk to them and try to catch up. No... Instead, it was “Let’s party! Let’s get Alexy a boyfriend! Then let’s get you into a relationship! Go Team Hyun! Forget Nathaniel, he’s trash! Get yourself someone better! I’m Pregnant!”... I can’t do it anymore... I’m supposed to be finding a sense of “normalcy”... But, instead, I’m watching over Lyra’s and Nora’s training, I’m helping my boyfriend and his sister with their problems, I’m getting hit with an avalanche of questions from my mom’s fans, I have a fearsome reputation to uphold around the Black Tower, the Prime Minister wants me to go to Parliament and give my input as to how this country should be run, I have several big events to organize, as well as my “peace time job” to focus on. My time here is supposed to be the beginning of an ultimate act of self care... And I’m still getting ripped to shreds. Something had to give, so I cut them.” Morgan looked at her, shocked. “Alana... I’m so sorry. I had no idea...” “ That’s why I’m explaining it to you. I know you weren’t around for all the big stuff. I know you don’t know what I’m dealing with. Hell, very few people outside the Tower do. You think I don’t want to be there for them? I do. They were two of my best friends. It hurt to cut them off like that... Regardless of how easy it looked to the rest of the world... It hurt like a bitch to do it.”

Alana grabbed her water bottle out of her backpack, opened it and took a swig. “For fuck’s sake, I’m twenty three years old. I’m supposed to be going out with friends and having fun. That’s one reason why my apartment is so big and cool because it was built for me to entertain. But, no, instead, I’m doing my damnedest to stay away from the Black Tower and am spending most of my time either preparing for life after graduation, doing anything that classifies as a “Fuck You” to Azrael, or sitting around alone...” Morgan looked puzzled. “But what about that party in Yeleen’s dorm?” Alana put her water bottle back in her backpack. “I had barely just gotten back and it was one of Rosalaya’s wild schemes. It sounded like a great change of pace for me. The party itself was rather fun... I just had much more of a one track mind then than I do now...” Morgan raised an eyebrow. “From what I can tell, you’ve never had a one track mind. Even when we first met, I could tell that you try to be everywhere at once. You tried to help everyone around you be happy. That’s one reason why I like you. You do your best to be kind. Which is why it shocked me to see you cut Alexy and Rosalaya off like that.” Alana looked down and sighed. “After everything I’ve gone through... Everything I’m going through... Something had to give. I mean, for heaven’s sake, Alexy’s become a “Fair Weather Friend”. He’s either focused on himself, or focused on you. He only came to me whenever he needed or wanted something. No “fun shopping trips”, no “casual times at the cafe”, no walks in the park just chatting about random things... The last time he and I talked, he wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise!” Morgan looked annoyed for a second. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Nathaniel lately. Do you spend much time with your other friends? Other than the ones you have inside the Tower? Because, if you don’t, that makes you one hell of a hypocrite.” Alana raised an eyebrow. “I play Overwatch with Armin at least once a week. The reason why I’m not spending much time with Castiel right now is because he keeps hitting on me. I’ve been TRYING to hang out with Priya more, but she’s had a lot of group projects lately. I hang out with Chani outside of class at least once a week... Hell, just recently, we marathoned Good Omens. I try to write to Lysander at least once a week, if not once a month... I even try to see Amber at least once a week, but as she’s an upcoming model, her schedules are more erratic than mine. As for Viktor and Severina? We text and video chat all the time. They’re the CEO and CFO of a multinational, multi-billion gold, tech company, so I can’t see them in person all the time, but we have plans to hang out when Detective Pikachu comes out and we’re talking about going on a trip after I graduate. Oh, and about my friends inside the Tower, I make damn sure to spend time with them that isn’t training. Is that enough proof for you?”

Morgan looked down at his notes and sighed. Alana closed her notebook and put it in her bag. “So, for Alexy and Rosalaya to get back in your good graces, they need to make an effort to have you in their lives? Despite the fact that they’re both severely depressed and don’t have many people to turn to? If they abandoned you when you needed them, wouldn’t you be more inclined to help them now?” Alana’s eyes flashed with annoyance. “You know what Nathaniel and Castiel do when they can’t reach me? They go to the Black Tower and make damn sure I know they’re there. And if I’m not there, they fucking find me. You know what Alexy and Rosalaya have done to try to get my attention? They’ve attempted to text me. I’ve passed Alexy several times on campus, and he has NEVER tried to walk up to me! NEVER! If they really needed and wanted me back in their lives, they would storm the place like everyone else does!” Alana stood up. “Even when I was at my lowest, I still tried to reach out. I called people, I video chatted, I wrote letters, I did SOMETHING. Now, if they make it to where I can’t ignore them, then I will be forced to face them. But, I’m tired of being the only one to truly make any moves.”

Alana grabbed her bag and began walking towards the door. “Alana, wait.” Morgan called. Alana shook her head. “I think I’m done studying for the day. It’s a blow off class for me as it is. Again, thanks for inviting me over. Have a good day.” She sighed as she left the dorm.

As she left the dorm rooms, her mind ran over what had just happened. The significant other of one of her ex best friends invited her over to their dorm to study for a class that everyone knew she didn’t need to study for. He then told her that Rosalaya had had a miscarriage, which is why she was trying to talk to her and why Leigh were so depressed and the Clothes Shop had been closed. Alexy innocently brought up adoption to Rosalaya, which caused her to lash out, which resulted in an argument so bad that they cut each other off. “I’m sure he was trying to be helpful, but from what Morgan said, Alexy did it the day she lost the baby. Which was a really stupid move.” She muttered as she entered the Quad. She then thought about what Morgan had just tried to do. He had tried to convince her to talk to Alexy, despite knowing that she had cut him off. She knew that he was probably thinking about how much of a selfish wretch she was at that very moment, and she was wondering if he’d be right. Alana reached into her pocket, pulled out her earbuds, put them in her ears, flipped through the music on her phone, picked a good song and began walking off campus.

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