#ccxyooa

a bright smile spreads on the girl’s lips, bright and youthful and beautiful as ever, just the way yoongi remembered. she has her magical girl outfit on, but there’s no blood splattered on it; her throat isn’t slit and she isn’t choking to death. she’s fine. she’s there.

“oppa! i’ve missed you, where have you been?” she whines, almost childishly so – of course, she is only twelve years old – but another smile is quick to form on her lips, never able to stay upset for too long. “you told me you were going to buy me cake after the big fight but you never did. did you forget?”

“i-“ the big fight. he couldn’t know for sure, but she was most likely referring to their last fight in the noose, the one that she most definitely did not come out alive from. yoongi had promised her cake before it, he does remember that. he does also now realise he broke that promise. “yoonhee-“ suddenly the chaos around him is gone and yoongi’s concentration is on the visage of his sister only, throat closing up and vision blurring out the features of her face.

she couldn’t be real. she couldn’t be there. she died in yoongi’s arms, choking in her own blood and tears, and yoongi had watched it all, powerless to help.

(“oh god, oh g-god-“ yoongi chokes out, tears falling from his cheeks and mixing with her blood as he held her with trembling hands, shaking almost violently. there’s blood, there’s so much blood, and more of it splatters onto yoongi’s clothes when she coughs. “you’re going to be okay- you’re going to- i’m here, i’m right here with you, yoonhee-“

“it hurts,” her voice is weak and hardly understandable, tear-filled eyes staring right up at her brother, pleading him with her gaze. “it hurts, yoongi-“

“i know,” yoongi can’t do more than just sob and hold her tighter in his arms because all he can say are lies, lies to soothe her, lies to ease her because she won’t survive, there’s no way she will survive. she coughs and chokes again and yoongi just cries harder, doubling over and holding her fragile body closer, as if trying to curl up around her. “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, i love you, you’ll be okay, please don’t leave me, please-“)

“oppa?” there’s a glint of worry in yoonhee’s gaze as she walks closer to him, head tilted in all of that innocence that was so true to her, that innocence regarding the world that had been cruelly ripped from her the night she was slaughtered. “yoonnie, don’t be sad. why are you sad?” she looks genuinely sad herself and yoongi is only now realising how shaken up he must look, lips parting for a reply, but only a sob coming out as he does.

“why-“ he starts, fingers shaking as he brings them to cover his mouth, head shaking slowly. “why are you- yoonhee, g-god-“

“you’ve been sad a lot lately, haven’t you?” she asks then and the question comes a lot more serious than the way she had been approaching him, serene eyes watching him intently. it throws yoongi off, brows furrowing, thoughts running far too fast for him to catch up.

“what—“

“you’ve been sad a lot because you’re no good for your friends.” she continues, tone and expression remaining exactly the same. “so you distance yourself, but does that really work? who are you really protecting here?”

“i-“

“yoongi!” a third voice comes in, muffled and distant but yoongi knows it’s jongin’s and his heart skips a beat. still, he finds himself unable to tear his gaze away from his sister. “yoongi, she’s not real, don’t listen to her! you have to kill her, she’s not real!”

yoongi’s eyes widen even more in horror, the idea again making him nauseous. kill her.

“you know you make jongin sad but you keep doing it. why, oppa? you’re not the big brother i looked up to anymore. you were a coward back then, but not this way.”

“yoongi!” jongin sounded more distressed, but still distant; maybe he was currently fighting, maybe he was being held back. yoongi didn’t know. he couldn’t tear his gaze away. he couldn’t move. “i swear to god, min yoongi, if you get hurt-“

“you messed up with ricky too, didn’t you? the relation you have now.. is this what you wanted?” her brows furrow slightly and maybe, just maybe, there’s a hint of pity in her gaze. “bet he doesn’t think about you twice. but why would he? you weren’t good enough back then. you won’t be now, either.”

“yoonhee,” it’s a sob that falls from yoongi’s lips and his head lowers, both hands now pressing against his face, the rush of emotions going through his body right now making him too shocked to properly react. he knows she’s not real, he knows his yoonhee would never say such things; but this still looks like her, still sounds like her and how, how could yoongi ever attempt to harm her? “i’m sorry, i’m sorry i couldn’t save you, i’m sorry-“

“you’re scared you won’t  be able to save yooa too.” yoonhee’s voice is softer now, but the malice is still there. “you’re scared you won’t be able to save anyone. but yoongi, can you even save yourself?”

yoongi shakes his head almost furiously and all his walls are tumbling down, more sobs falling from his lips, vulnerable as the biggest weakness in his life is currently stomping him down like this. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry-“

“you should be,” her voice is almost a whisper now and yoongi hadn’t realised how close she actually was now, standing almost directly under his lowered head. yoongi apparently didn’t realise the way she was reaching for her magical weapon, either. “maybe if you had been good enough your friends wouldn’t hate you. maybe if you had been good enough mom and dad would still talk to you.”

“yoongi-!”

jongin’s scream is the only type of warning he has before he feels something pierce through him right above his stomach, spluttering and choking at the piercing pain. he falls to his knees, hands clutching at the wound, deep red coating the fabric and warming his hands.

“maybe if you had been good enough i wouldn’t be dead.”

“i’m serious, yooa!” he lifts his head just enough to grin up at her. “it would be nice, right? we could wake up early enough and bring the rest of the squad. it’d be really cool to see together.”  just him, his friends, and the sky painted pink and red and fiery orange. wait. this sounds like some romantic movie, hand holding by the beach with a soft pop soundtrack playing in the back kind of scene. you know, the kind that ends with sloppy makeouts before the credits start rolling.

he squints at yooa and decides that, in a way, this is kinda romantic too, sitting here and watching people pass by, their chests rising and falling in unison as their breathing settles down. if only the shrieking seagulls could be replaced with soft birdsong… or a harp or something. way to ruin the mood—if there’s even a mood to ruin. it’s yooa, of all people. but then again, yooa’s like a elegant doll, and even with a bruised face from where he’d accidentally hit her in the face, she’s cute. very cute.

( of course she is. all of minghao’s friends are cute! )