#caxdus

Anakin believed it, too. He knew that his older brother would absolutely not hesitate in taking a lightsaber to the mug and tearing it to pieces, liquid and all. But he wasn’t sure exactly what it was that Jacen was upset about this time - maybe everything at once, maybe one particular thing. “Can’t say I’m surprised, but mind telling me what gave you this motivation to murder hot liquid?”

     a short, derisive breath forced its way out of the eldest solo brother’s nose, thick black waves shaking as his head moved slowly from side to side. “and you thought, even for a second, that i might listen?” he mocked him, taunting him. as soon as the twins had been born, a young toddler kylo had watched his parents fall in love with the pair, effectively already pushing their oldest to the wayside, already convinced their first try was a failure. he could practically see it every time he had looked at the twins, even as a child - he could see the praise swirling in his parents’ heads every time they did anything, just as he could see the disappointment in their eyes when they tore their sight away from the favorites to the other.

     even after he had left for luke’s academy, and long after that as he let the idea of a family die in his head, he had resented the younger solos, a burning hatred that he didn’t know if he could ever quell. “you don’t trust me. why should i be any different?”

Sometimes it almost felt like he was speaking directly to Han when he was talking to his children-- and similarly, sometimes it was hard to keep a straight face, which was entirely the problem. These Solo kids were too clever by half.

❛❛ I’ll look worried when there’s something to worry about. ❞ It seems like spending a good portion of your early twenties in combat has made Luke, if nothing else, very hard to faze. Crises come and go constantly, and if he panicked at every single one, he would never stop being panicked. Is it healthy? Probably not. Is it useful? Terribly so.

&&. Winter 

               HIS CONFESSION GOT A HOPELESS SIGH from winter -- the woman sitting him down and tilting his head back to look into his nostril. he might have been twenty six, but jacen truly never grew out of his child-like mind. ❝ how did you get a bug up your nose? were you shoving them up there again? ❞ a tease of course, but she couldn’t resist. her mother-like instincts just had to kick in she supposed. after taking a quick look, winter ruffled his hair while she looked back up at his eyes. ❝ i think you’re clear, jacen. maybe you swallowed it... kriff bless your future girlfriend honestly. ❞

“I wasn’t trying to be!” Anakin found himself shouting, feeling both hurt and helpless by his brother’s words. He hadn’t intended to die, of course - he wanted to save his siblings, but that didn’t mean he had planned for the outcome. In the end it had been a sacrifice, but if Jacen was implying that he had done it just to earn some recognition or the title of the hero, he was gravely mistaken. “I didn’t mean to...I wish it hadn’t happened that way, and I wish I didn’t have to stand here and kriffing remember all of it, but don’t even try to talk to me if that’s how you’re going to view the entire situation. Because if it that’s what you think, then...screw off.”

The thought of his own brother committing all of these crimes made Anakin feel sick to his stomach. At one point he had even thought that if any of them were to actually turn to the dark side, it could be Jacen, but even the fact that Ben actually had done it was awful to think about. He hated hearing about everything his brother had become. “That’s not Ben,” Anakin stated, though his voice wavered just a bit. “I-It can’t be. Someone else is in his head, manipulating him, taking him over. Ben can’t be there anymore...h-he must be gone completely...”  

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5. Trustworthiness