#cawareyoudoin

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a prosperous land of shining glory. ACMEbah was a city where anyone could succeed, or that was the story those in charge would like the world to believe. The truth was very, very different.

Unfortunately, the Warner-rabia Dream was a lie. While the rich got richer, the poor got poorer. The middle class was almost nonexistent and the better off working class struggled desperately to avoid falling below poverty line. A great many people were born and died in poverty, trapped in a cycle they couldn’t hope to escape.

One poor mouse dreamed of changing things. He wanted to make Warner-rabia the place it pretended to be. He knew that if he could only succeed, he could make ACMEbah a fair and happy place for everyone.

His story has been told many times but the truth has been twisted. The rebellion and anger at an unjust system were slowly removed from the tale to make it more palatable to the ruling classes. Those with the money to bring movies to the big screen could afford to decide what sort of stories got told and how, so they ripped out the heart of this story.

It is time to tell the real tale again. You should know the truth, but be warned; this story is not the one you think you know.

This is the story of Brainladdin as it really happened…

***

“Run!” Brainladdin yelled at Wakko.

He sprinted, as quickly as he could, away from the exploded mess of his latest attempt to take over ACMEbah, and from the angry local citizens. Wakko didn’t run, he was much taller than Brainladdin, instead he chose to walk quickly by his side, so that they would stay together.

Someone yelled something about Brainladdin being a public menace. Brainladdin instinctively ducked right before something large flew over his head.

Wakko turned around, half planning to attack the thrower, but Brainladdin grabbed his leg, trying to drag him away. Wakko knew Brainladdin wouldn’t leave without him, so he picked up the thing that had been thrown and they continued their escape.

They didn’t slow down again until the sound of angry voices faded away. Once they were surrounded by the everyday sounds of the city, Brainladdin stopped and looked Wakko up and down quickly to make sure he hadn’t been hurt. 

“Are you okay?” Brainladdin asked.

Wakko rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, Dad. I wasn’t the one who almost got hit by this.” Wakko held up the thing that had almost hit Brainladdin and he got his first good look at it. It was a huge wooden mallet, almost comical in size.

“I’m not your father,” Brainladdin said automatically but without any real conviction. Then he pointed to the wooden mallet, “You are not keeping it.”

“Oh, please Pops,” Wakko begged, all wide-eyed, innocent sweetness. “You won’t even know it’s there, honest. Look, it can fit in my bag,” Wakko pulled his bag out of a pocket that should have been too small to fit it. He somehow put the mallet inside the bag.

“I…”

“Pleeeeeease!"

“Fine!” Brainladdin said, throwing his hands in the air in defeat. “If it will keep you happy.”

Wakko grinned. “Thanks, Padre.” Wakko put the bag back in his pocket.

Brainladdin rolled his eyes at being called Dad in another language, but ignored it otherwise. “Come, Wakko, we must return to the hovel before it gets dark.”

“Why?”

“Because you need a good night's sleep before I…”

“We,” Wakko interrupted.

“… try to take over ACMEbah!” Brainladdin finished as if Wakko hadn’t spoken.

They made their way back to what could only charitably be called a house.

It was crumbling and old. In theory it was condemned but there was no date set for its demolition. In reality, it had been abandoned in the hopes it would just eventually fall down by itself. Since that hadn’t happened yet, over the years several families had ended up squatting there when they had no other available shelter.

Four families currently sheltered in the building. Brainladdin and Wakko had claimed a single room at the top as their home. It was missing half the roof, and most of the wall on the outside of the building, but it still offered more shelter and was safer than the streets. 

When the two were safely back in their room, Wakko pulled out his bag out of his pocket again and started searching through it. Eventually, he pulled out one small wizened apple. Brainladdin saw the look of disappointment flicker over Wakko’s face before he could hide it. Brainladdin silently cursed himself for being so caught up in schemes that he hadn’t found time to get more food that day.

Wakko cut the apple in half and offered a piece to Brainladdin. Brainladdin shook his head. “No, no. I’m not hungry. You eat it.”  His stomach chose that exact moment to rumble.

Wakko rolled his eyes, trying to push a piece into Brainladdin’s hands. “You need to eat, Pa.” 

Brainladdin glared and refused to take it. 

“I’m not hungry.” He turned away. Brainladdin went to his planning corner, pulled his notebook and pencil from under a loose floorboard, and started to work on another plan. He pointedly ignored the apple half Wakko put down next to him and continued to work.

Five minutes later, the apple part was still uneaten. Brainladdin threw down his pencil and turned to glare at Wakko, “It will go off if nobody eats it.”

“So eat it already.”

“I will not. I have work to do.”

“Well, I guess it’s not going to get eaten then.”

“Wakko… please. Just eat the apple.”

Wakko crossed his arms and stuck out his tongue.

Brainladdin groaned. “If I eat half of what’s left, will you please eat the other half?”

Wakko grinned and cut the apple again. “Sure thing, Dad.”

“How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not your father!” There was no real annoyance in the response. It was an automatic response.

Brainladdin took his quarter of the apple and ate it slowly as Wakko wolfed down his bit. When he was done, he turned to his notebook again and started working.

When the sun set, Wakko climbed under his thin blanket, hugging the moth-eaten teddy bear Brainladdin had given him. “Sing me a song so I can go to sleep?”

Brainladdin rolled his eyes, “If it will make you be quiet.” He walked over to Wakko’s side and sat down next to him before starting to sing,

“Twinkle Twinkle Little Star I know exactly what you are

Opaque ball of hot dense gas Million times our planet’s mass Looking small because you’re far I know exactly what you are”

Wakko yawned, his eyes drooping as Brainladdin continued to sing,

“Atmospheric turbulence Causes rays of light to bend Blurry light gives views subpar Causing twinkling little star

We see you as if in the past Light’s not infinitely fast Lookback time delays our view I know exactly what you do”

Wakko’s eyes shut and his breathing evened out. Brainladdin allowed himself a small fond smile. Then, he stood up and slipped out of their small home, secure in the knowledge that Wakko wouldn’t move before he got back.

Brainladdin made his way through the quiet night streets of ACMEbah. He headed to the richer part of the city and searched through the bins until he’d managed to gather two slightly stale loaves of bread, and a bunch of bruised bananas.

Then he headed home again, glad that he wouldn’t have to waste any more time tomorrow worrying about food. 

Brainladdin checked on Wakko as soon as he was back, and was glad to see him still deep in his slumber. Brainladdin put the food down, and patted Wakko fondly in a way he never would have if Wakko was awake.

“Sleep well,” he whispered. “When I take over, I promise, you’ll never be hungry again.”