#caw17

“Cool. Cool cool cool."

“Where is the library? My name is TBone the disco spider. Disco, doll, the library is in big mustache, dog, lard. Lard, mustache, huge, little, head is snow, beer is good. Good morning, I like french fries, the goat’s mustache is Cameron Diaz.”

“M’lady,” “M’lord.”

“Chaos already dominates enough of our lives. The universe is an endless raging sea of randomness. Our job isn't to fight it, but to weather it together, on the raft of life. A raft held together by those few, rare, beautiful things that we know to be predictable. Us. It won't matter what happens to us as long as we stay honest and accepting of each other's flaws and virtues. Annie will always be driven. Shirley will always be giving. Pierce will never apologise. Britta's sort of a wildcard from my perspective. And Jeff will forever remain a conniving son of a bitch. “

“What is wrong with you people?! Huh?! I thought you were supposed to be friends! I thought you were supposed to love each other! Your love is weird!“

“What? That is absurd! Why would someone who's paid to do things be at Greendale?"

“This is why I wanted to play Chutes and Ladders.”

“I'm not vaporized. I'm gone, Pierce...gone forever, and that's how I like it. Life is only worth a damn because it's short. It's designed to be consumed, used, spent, lived, felt. We're supposed to fill it with every mistake and miracle we can manage, and then we're supposed to let go. I can't force you to do that for yourself, Pierce, but you can't force me to stay...and if you unscrew the top of that stupid thing, you'll see it was made in China. I love you, son. Goodbye.”