#catskid100

jin pushes his silver frames up his nose with a practiced flourished and tsubaki bats her lashes just so, it’s a mocking gesture, really, both of them know she would never beg for his attention, or lack thereof, because from where she’s at, his back looks just great.

he’s packing up their work station at the tutoring place they call their home away from home, or hell, on particularly bad days. he looks out of place and out of touch, to be quite honest, holding a bag of colored pencils and an abacus, while wearing a designer jacket that is probably worth more than their student’s trust fund.

“fine, fine. you’re right. it’s an elaborate plot–”

“if you’re asking me to fill in next week, absolutely not.”

tsubaki sighs, and jin kisaragi, bane of her continued existence, childhood friend and precocious love interest, and the one man who stood in between her and a day away from the gremlin that was carl clover, he only gives her a level stare.

“i don’t know why i thought i would get a different answer.” she picks up what he leaves behind, a step behind and ahead, when she swipes the remaining bag from his ready hand, and deposits them into a cubicle. she tucks a strand of red hair behind her ear and adjusts her beret, before turning on her heel and putting her hands on her hips. jin stops mid stride out of the tutoring center and that’s when she knows she’s got his attention. his head tilts ever so slowly in her direction.

a pause.

“i may be willing to hear you out. don’t expect a change of heart, however.”

she gets him to switch with her just the same.

.

tsubaki yayoi has wanted to be a teacher since as long as she remembers. maybe it’s something she didn’t want to do to begin with, an age old ideal and tradition instilled within her by a family who believed in hierarchy over free will regardless of context. it doesn’t really matter how she came up with the idea, anyway. what matters is that she was good with kids, better with handing out responsibilities, and best at handling problem cases.

cases a lot like jin. he’s helping carl with long division and he does it like he’s dying, with this completely expressionless face and a monotone that cuts. she’s preparing the next lesson plan for the day, and puts a cup of coffee on the desk.

“black, two sweetener packets. do you want a scone?”

he waves the small blond away to his fractions and takes a sip.

“no. thank you, tsubaki.”

his lips twitch into something that resembles a smile and tsubaki does her best not to beam back.

“all right, i’ll give this to noel.” she’s in the back room, probably, napping on makoto’s lap. she’s the only one still in school, everyone else graduated the year prior. her senior thesis wasn’t being too kind. jin gives her a nod and she drifts to the employee only area. she pats down her dark blue skirt and fixes her wine red blouse, before turning the handle and pushing the door in.

well. she was certainly right about makoto and noel being together.

“s-sorry!” tsubaki drops the scone onto the nearest table and noel gives her a look akin to a deer in the headlights. she’s got black lipstick all over her face and makoto gives her an easy grin, and a wave.

“heyyyy, tsubaki! thanks for taking my shift tomorrow. you’re the best!!” she talks like she didn’t have noel vermillion straddling her hips.

“no…worries.”

tsubaki turns on her heel before anything else can transpire.

makoto was always so forward. she always has been. tsubaki’s kind of jealous, to be honest. to be so open with one’s feelings and emotions without fearing the repercussion. ah, well. it could be worse. she walks with her head held high and nearly bumps into jin on her way back to the desk, he catches her arm before she can fall forward and over him.

“watch it.”

of course.

she clears her throat when he adjusts their positions, she doesn’t have her face in the crook of his neck, he smells like home, like summer days in sprawling estate backyards, and the spice of expensive cologne.

everything about him is so out of place; she tries not to laugh at his expense.

“sorry, jin.” she rolls her eyes a little and his ears are red. she knows he’s about to say something about how much she’s inconveniencing him but instead he strides past her without saying anything else.

little victories.

.

they start hanging out after closing up, and shooing carl and his, to be frank, terrifying older sister out of the office. it’s usually just coffee or an exchange of notes at the local park, sitting on the benches too far away to touch but too close to call it unfriendly. she’s trying to figure them out, whatever they are. he’s not wearing his glasses today, and looks rather…nice, in his favorite blue coat and dark jeans. winter is a good season, for them both. she finally got to wear her favorite white hat.

it’s not serious. she doesn’t think so. she doesn’t want to think about it, even though the distance between their hands is short enough for her to lean over and just, take it.

they’ve known each other for years, conversations under starlit skies and towering trees illustrate their childhood in the countryside but all of that went out the window when they left to school. the city ate them up and spit them out and they adjusted.

“jin, why did you take this job.”

it comes out more like a statement, she wants to clarify her query when he shrugs and stuffs his hands into his coat.

“someone needs to do the family proud.”

right.

“ragna’s not back yet?”

“no.”

the ever missing, the ever lost. the grim reaper. the blight in jin’s life.

“i’m sure he’ll be fine. he’s probably bumming it out with taokaka, or celica. for a ruthless biker gang leader–”

“tsubaki, i didn’t ask you out to talk about my disappointment of a brother.”

tsubaki gapes. her mouth opens but words don’t come out. they’re adults. grown, in their twenties. this is not the right time to act like a mess about the phrase “ask out”. god. it’s not like it was a date, jin would never–

“don’t over think it.”

she’s still thinking about the way he says her name.

“all right.” she pauses and leans forward, digs her elbows into her thighs and gives him a conspirator’s smile. “jinny the kisaragi.”

his ears go scarlet. she likes that, a lot.

after another hour, he asks her if she needs a ride home, she points to her cherry red hybrid cruiser bike, and he snorts. whatever, see you tomorrow, and she waves him off. before she gets home, she stops by the flower shop and picks up a bouquet for her apartment.

it’s blue and red and green, forget me nots and tulips and chrysanthemums.

.

it’s pouring. the rain is absolutely brutal and makoto has to drive tsubaki to the tutoring place because she can’t ride her bike in this weather. noel’s already in the backseat, and it makes tsubaki laughs because this was their routine in high school. they sing along to the pop songs on the radio and chat about upcoming weekend plans, and noel teases tsubaki over this, and that, and she huffs, it’s not like that at all.

even though it was definitely like that, but some things were better left unsaid.

when they get to the parking lot, they rush out and race to the safety of the awning and tsubaki opens the door for them. it’s an early day, and their usual clients all pushed back their appointments. the gremlin wasn’t due for a while. they set up work areas and grade homework from the day before, and sit around doing a whole lot of nothing.

tsubaki gets a text message.

JIN running late. rain is a pain in the ass.

TSUBAKI stay safe.

she hopes it’s not too bad. it’s almost noon when the door chime rings and a string of curses follows.

“fucking, shit.”

tsubaki looks up from her desk and lo and behold. jin kisaragi–oh god, jin kisaragi, soaked to the bone in a t shirt and riding jacket, she didn’t even know half of the muscles protruding against the fabric existed before now. was it hot. oh my god. she’s forcing herself to breathe. in. out. then again. he’s got the most foul look and shakes his head out, water drops flying everywhere. he slicks his hair back and looks at tsubaki, as if for the first time.

“i had to take the motorcycle today.”

the infamous, rumored bike! the yukianesa! counterpart to the grim reaper’s blood-scythe. she’s only heard him talk about it in passing, but, to actually think about him riding was laughable–

“yayoi!”

she flinches and he’s already in front of her, looking at her with a peculiar expression. she doesn’t even register he used her last name. was she really that out of it. focus. focus.

“yes?”

“i asked if i could leave this stuff in the back room. I know you get irritated when we leave our things in there.” he looks cross. hell, she can’t figure anything out, his emotions are too plain when his fringe doesn’t cover half of his face.

“go ahead.”

success. she tries to teach carl algebra but all she can think about is the way his shirt rides up his abs.

disgusting.

.

she’s embarrassed, honestly. she takes her time in the bathroom, refreshes her makeup and blots her lipstick and tells herself to calm down. this was ridiculous. it’s ridiculous and he’ll be back to driving the sleek black car and the rain will clear and god will have mercy on her soul.

it’s closing time and the rain’s still going. she puts on her white coat over her black dress, knee length, coupled with red tights and boots, and is about to call for makoto when jin comes over to her work station.

“tsubaki.”

“jin.”

he scratches the back of his head, and he’s wearing his jacket and for once, she thinks, he doesn’t look so inaccessible. he fits in.

“i’ll give you a ride home. let’s go.”

didn’t even ask; but she likes the way he says home. tsubaki tells noel and makoto to go on without her and jin leads the way, to his beautiful motorcycle. vintage, white as snow. the color of the beginning and the end.

and she’s going to be riding it. with jin kisaragi. he gives her a helmet and watches her put it on, and turns around when she does. he gets on first, and she follows after, she doesn’t know where to put her hands, and jin takes them and wraps her arms around his waist.

“hold tight.” he’s so close the words burn her skin. she’s never thought he would be able to do something like that, when he’s made of ice and cold.

“let’s go.”

he’s warm to the touch and she buries her face in his back and they hit the streets.

.

the world looks different from a bike. they’re zipping through the streets, weaving through traffic, she doesn’t know where they’re going anymore. what she knows, though, is how hard her heart is beating against her chest and the feel of her hands against his jacket and how if she pressed her fingers down she could feel his muscles.

her hair is flying behind her, and she thinks they look like a comet, a streak of white hot fire, a star’s end. the city is dark and cold, lights reflect off the asphalt and it looks like the sky never stops. there’s only the twinkling little lights and the noise, the whir of an engine and the city capsized into a single moment–breathe in, breathe out. the thirteenth hierarchical city of kagutsuchi is their kingdom come and the universe shakes underneath them.

they stop at an overpass and tsubaki takes off the helmet and tucks it under her arm. she gives jin a breathless grin, something that steals hers and his and he laughs. an honest to goodness laugh that makes her want to cry because, she hasn’t heard that since they were kids and he offers her his hand.

(take my hand, tsubaki.) (and if i never let go?) (then it is yours to keep.)

his hand is callused, rough, she’ll memorize every groove and dip. the city skyline is immense, incredible even, but it pales in comparison to the red of their cheeks and the puffs of air they blow out. one thousand little lights with people’s lives, they shine so bright, maybe even more.

they stay like that for a long time.

.

makoto and noel are ruthless in their interrogation. tsubaki doesn’t know what to say, because in reality, nothing. really happened. he drove her home and he was reluctant to let go of her hand when they got to her door. she didn’t expect anything else from him. they said goodnight and he disappeared. that’s it.

she shrugs and they jump to the worst case scenario.

“he’s not that into you.”

she doesn’t put up much of a fight. jin is. well. he’s jin.

and she doesn’t think she’d want it any other way.

.

on the day of carl clover’s graduation from their tutoring office, tsubaki is dressed in all white and she’s got her hair in a pretty up do, some strands fall down and frame her face and she doesn’t move to tuck them behind her ear like she would usually do. she gives carl a handshake, and hands him his diploma, and he thanks her for her services. always so formal, more so in his dark blue suit. it’s kind of silly, how much everyone dressed up for this day but tsubaki thinks it’s really because everyone in the office is glad to see him go.

jin meets her outside the office, outside the big glass doors and windows and tsubaki gives him a smile. he’s in a pressed white shirt, with rolled up sleeves and a blazer and dark slacks. despite his refusal to partake in the ceremony he ended up dressing up the best and being the most attuned to the event.

he’s the one who tucks the strand of hair back, his hand hovers over her temple, as if unsure whether to proceed. she puts her hand over his and pushes him forward. someone has to lead him. someone has to stop her. this is them.

“i was thinking.” “i’m listening.” “maybe we can see a movie?”

he asks this time. tsubaki hides a smile with her gloved hand.

“i’ll think about it.”

his ears go red; she loves it. she’ll let him hang in suspense for another second or two, she watches him rearrange his expression to something more neutral and she bursts into laughter.

“of course. of course.”

his little tells, his little expressions– he offers her his hand against and she does not hesitate.

“so…”

“so?”

“we’re friends right?”