#catharsus

And make it betterrr!! 🎵🎶

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You text them. Nothing. Call them? Sent to voicemail. See them in public? They don't acknowledge your existence. You're another face in the crowd.  A fly on the wall.  A blade of grass in a field.  A solitary drop in the ocean. As if every good time, every bad time, every laugh, every smile, every joke cracked, every tear shed, every beer pounded back, all the time you've ever spent in bed, every "I love you", every "fuck you", every "I hope you die", every "I'm sorry", and everything that ever happened between the two of you Never Fucking Happened. And to me, that hurts.  A lot.  And up until the other day at work when I stumbled upon an epiphany I had absolutely NO idea why this was so.  Until it hit me. So this is something you don't really know about me.  My dad and I were kind of indifferent towards eachother until maybe a year and a half before we died.  I was some smart ass kid who was just starting high school and he was this fat dude who told me what to do.  Like, yea, we love eachother, but only because I've known eachother literally my whole life and sometimes he'd take me to work with him and buy me donuts so it was pretty chill.  Whatever. It wasn't until I started playing football and got really into music that we started to get along.  Like, I remember I was listening to Led Zepplin one day in my room and he happened to get home from work and was like, "...Are you listening to Cashmere?" "Yea." "Huh.  Cool." And that was it.  And then he'd show me his old records and we'd go play Halo and talk about music and he'd ask me questions about guitar because I was just learning how to play at this point and I'd ask him about music and stuff he used to do when he was my age and blahdeeblahdeeblah. One of my favorite moments was this one time we were in Best Buy and they just released a Greatest Hits album for "A Flock of Seagulls".  So we were looking at it and then looked at eachother and went "What the fuck?".  So as my dad picked it up I said, "Dad, why would you buy that?  They're a one-hit wonder band.  They have ONE good song." "I'm buying it because I didn't know they had OTHER songs." So we bought it.  Lo and behold, A Flock of Seagulls SUCKS. And that was it.  He died.  Just as my dad and I were getting along, he's gone forever.  There was no real closure.  No "See ya later".  No "Maybe we can try again".  No "There's always tomorrow".  There was no nothing.  Just a dead man in a hospital bed. So yea.  If you're wondering why I call people "fucking cooze(s)" because they fall off the face of the planet that's probably why. This has been a catharsus.