I had an outpatient surgical procedure the morning of 08 June. A super public catheter was placed. I was under general anesthesia with the mask, the tube, the O2, the whole 9 yards. I was able to go home same-day.

I don’t know what day of the week of it is, and I’m not sure if my bedside clock is running in AM or PM, but at the moment, those concepts don’t matter much. I have different mechanisms to ground myself and feel safe.

I’m something like a day post-op—I think—(but then again, dim room, nap-o-mania, starting a movie and waking up to the scrolling credits). I have been tucked into bed inside what I can only describe as a pillow fort— the kind we’ve all made as kids when we’ve played ‘camping’ on top of the bed.

Because of the placement of the stoma, (right in the area of the lower abdomen where the muscles engage when you are doing ab exercises or just using your core to pick up a box or sit up from lying down/stand up from sitting.) I an an upside down turtle, stuck shell-side down. Any trying to reach/ stretch for stuff, like the TV remote that’s wandered 2” too far down the bed, brings searing pain to surgical site.

To be extra clear, though, staying absolutely still inside my pillow fort, which provides gentle compression with memory foam pillows and a few of my favorite stuffed animal toys, takes all the pain away. Completely. I just mustn’t move.

Doing things, such as writing on the computer or sitting at my desk for art time are very much up in the air at the moment; as they are dependent greatly on my ability to sit up and work for a longer period of time. I just don’t know when I will feel ready for that.

You guys have been amazingly supportive of me, and I truly appreciate your kindness and patience when it comes to my physical health and illness. I want to pop back to the regular me, if that’s even a thing. Writing and drawing more, at least. I love doing it as much as I love sharing it.