#cassian lives

“You can get cleaned up first. I’ll keep a lookout to make sure we weren’t followed.”  Cassian’s voice broke your thoughts.  

“Sounds good,” you say, hastily grabbing the clothes from your bag and making your way to the shower without looking at him. Once inside, you start the water and let it warm, then shed your clothes and put your hair up before stepping into the slightly warmer-than-lukewarm water.  Scrubbing the stress of the day away, you kept thinking about the sleeping arrangements for tonight.  Sure, you have been in some very close-quartered situations with Cassian before. Still, never in a comfortable setting involving a bed, and typically, one of you stayed awake to keep alert.

Was he thinking about this at all?  Probably not, you told yourself.  You’re overthinking this.  It will be fine.  You will both go to sleep, wake up early, refuel, then head back to base.  It’s fine, everything is fine.  So you tell yourself.

Deeming yourself officially clean and dry yourself off.  It was only when you grabbed the first article of clothing that you realized just how stupidly you messed up.  In your flustered state, when you grabbed your clothes, you didn’t actually pay attention to what you grabbed. Something told you that one of your cropped tanks and underwear was hardly the outfit you wanted to wear around your best friend you had feelings for.  

“Oh, kirfing krife!”  You muttered to yourself, still getting dressed in whatever clothing you had.  Swallowing down your anxiety, you opened the door. Cassian was probably eager to shower, too.

As you step out of the bathroom, Cassian is still looking out the window. You start calculating how many steps it would take for you to reach the bed and slip under the covers before he turns around and notices your lack of pants. Just as you take the first step, he turns around. Things couldn't get more awkward; you meet his big brown eyes, and you notice how they linger on the lower half of your body as he realizes you aren't wearing any pants.

“I, um, forgot to grab all of my clothes,” you explain, feeling a bit embarrassed as you realize you’re just standing there. “Anyway,” you say as you walk back to the bed, pulling back the blankets and curling up on your side so you don’t have to face each other any longer. “The shower is all yours. I think I’m going to go to bed.”

“Yeah, thanks,” he mumbled quickly as you heard him shuffle around the room, likely getting a change of clothes out of his pack. Once you heard the bathroom door close, you let out a deep exhale. In truth, it could have been weirder, and if you’re lucky, the two of you will never have to bring this up again. There would be no reason to.

Settling on the edge of the bed, you attempt to calm your mind in hopes of falling asleep before Cassian finishes his shower. You try to concentrate on the sounds outside the window. The small town you’re in is surprisingly lively, even at this late hour, which makes it hard to relax. You find yourself focusing on every detail of the noise, including the sound of the shower turning off. You think that if you pretend to be asleep, he might also go to bed, making the morning come sooner.

When the door opens, you try your best to fall asleep. Cassian’s footsteps alert you to how close he is to the bed. You hear him hesitate before pulling back the blanket, feeling the dip of the bed as he climbs in.  It’s fine for a few minutes, and you’re convinced he may have even fallen asleep until he speaks.

“Why are you on the edge of the bed?  You’re going to fall off in the middle of the night.”  

“Oh, I was trying to make sure I left enough room for you.”  You lie to the Rebellion’s best spy.  “I didn’t want to take up too much space.”

“Is this how you always sound when you lie?”  he chuckles, “I thought I taught you better than that.”

“I’m not lying, Cass. Now go to sleep.”  You tell him.

“Whatever you say.” You can hear his smirk even in the dark with your back turned to him. Neither of you says a word more, and you find yourself beginning to fall asleep. 

You weren't sure how long it had been since you closed your eyes and finally fell asleep, but you didn't think it was very long when you went to turn onto your side. However, you found it challenging.  It felt as if you were tangled in a net.  Opening your eyes once you rolled over, you gasped quietly and were now fully awake.  Cassian , at some point, had invaded your side of the bed, and it was no net that sleepy you were caught in. It was his arms, which were wrapped around you, and his leg he had slung over yours.  You were frozen in place, not sure if you should untangle yourself from him or not. Surely, he would wake if you did.  While you tried to decide the best course of action, you took a moment to really take in the man you called your best friend.

He looked peaceful when he slept. The edge of alertness didn’t follow him into sleep.  Cassian hardly ever looked at ease, but he did now.  You weren’t sure if you ever honestly noticed how he had the prettiest eyelashes. Of course, he did.  Your eyes settled on his lips.  The amount of times you thought about kissing those lips was insane, just like your feelings for him.  Right as you were about to close your eyes and force yourself to fall back asleep, leaving Cassian to be the one to wake up and deal with this mess, your eyes drifted lower, and your eyes grew wide with surprise.  Cassian was shirtless.  Yes, he had been without a shirt on around you many times, but not in bed and not with his limbs entangled with yours.  Speaking of limbs, you were only just now noticing it wasn’t the rough material of his pants against your legs- it was the warmth of his soft skin.  He also had no pants on.

Your mind was racing with what this could all mean.  Maybe he didn’t have a change of clothes, and he washed the ones he was wearing, and maybe, just perhaps, they were drying somewhere.  Yes, that was the only explanation.  There was no way in any galaxy that Cassian would just come to lie down in a bed with you in just his boxers.  There had to be a reasonable explanation.

Whatever the reason, you couldn’t shake the idea of touching his chest. His skin looked so smooth, decorated with a few dark hairs, making it all the more alluring. Before you can reel yourself back, your fingertips softly glide across his chest, tracing a languid, hypnotic pattern as you watch the rise and fall of his breathing. You gently press your palm against his heartbeat, feeling the steady thrum beneath your fingers, and as you close your eyes, you try to calm your racing thoughts, wishing to fall back to sleep before this moment spirals into something more.

“Why did you stop?”  Cassian’s voice was just above a whisper, but he might as well have shouted with how it startled you.  His eyes were barely open, but they were focused on you nonetheless.

“Cassian, I um…” You couldn’t think of any excuse that would explain just what you were doing.  You were caught, and now you would have to deal with the fallout.  “I’m sorry, I woke up, and we were this close.”  You try to explain.  “I probably forgot to give you space-”

“I did it.”  He tells you plainly, and you stop speaking.  Furrowing your brow in confusion, you search his face for any signs of annoyance or signs of him joking with you.  You find none.

“You did it?”  You repeat back like an idiot.  Cassian, starting to appear more awake, prompts himself up on his elbow and supports his head with his hand. You try to ignore how he is now slightly leaning over you.

“Yes,” he says simply, bringing his hand to rest on your hip as he gazes down at you. There is no trace of a joke or irritation, contrary to what you had expected. Instead, those brown eyes you often dream about are looking at you almost lovingly, with a hint of amusement.

“Why?”  you ask quietly, almost convinced you’re dreaming, but the pounding of your heart tells you that you are, in fact, awake.

“Do you really need to ask why?” His voice is low and soft as he traces small circles on your hip, and your heart feels as if it is going to beat out of your chest. And those eyes, those eyes that take up too much of your thoughts, are intense on you as if he could read your thoughts.

“Cass…”  his name leaves your lips as his hand abandons your hip to grasp your face.  As he leans in, focused on your lips, his eyes meet yours once more, checking for any sign that you want him to stop.  He won’t find it.

Kissing Cassian was something you had only fantasized about. The real thing was something you could barely describe.  His lips were gentle against yours at first as if he was testing how much you would permit.  You kissed him back, a hand planted on his chest as your other caressed his cheek, eager to feel him.  Cassian deepened the kiss, leaning further into you so you were on your back.  His tongue traced your bottom lip, and a soft moan escaped you.

You felt Cassian smile against your mouth as he trailed kisses down your jaw and into your neck. Your hands hardly knew where to be as you slid one into his hair, and the other rested on his shoulder.  His teeth teased your neck, and you could feel yourself arch towards him, wanting whatever he would give you. 

“You want this?”  He asked breathlessly, his words tickling your ear.  “I’ll stop if you don’t, but you have to let me know.”

“I want this, please, Cassian.”  you whimpered as he nibbled your earlobe.

“Good.”  was all he said as his hands began to roam your body.  He pulled you into him, bringing your leg over his hip as his other arm wrapped under you.  You felt a hand start massaging your breast, his thumb worrying your nipple as you canted your hips against his thigh.  

“Cass, more, please,”  you whimpered as he pinched your nipple just enough to make you moan.  “Please.”

“Shhh, don’t worry.  I’ll give you what you want.”  He assured you .  You felt the cool air hit your breast as he tugged your tank top up, shimmying down just enough to bury his face in your chest.  He kissed and licked every inch before settling on one of your nipples to suck on.  You gripped his hair as he took your nipple between his teeth gently.  You were so caught up in the sensation you didn’t notice him slide a hand down to your covered mound, rubbing around your clit until it was enough friction to make you buck your hips against his hand.

“Right there, please don’t stop.”  You whined, grinding against his hand.

“Trust me, I’ve got no plans on stopping.”  He murmured into your chest.  His teasing of your nipple stopped for only a moment as he pulled his hand away to bring it to his mouth, sticking his fingers in his mouth to wet them and sliding them under your underwear to tease your clit directly.  The moan he pulled from you only encouraged him to rub a little firmer, abandoning your breast to watch your face scrunch up in pleasure.

Cassian worked your clit based on what got him the best reactions, faster then slower, softly, and then firmer.  He slid his fingers lower to where you were drenched.  He slowly teased your entrance with his index finger before sliding it in.  He repeated it until he heard your impatient whimpers grow louder, finally granting you a second finger which your pussy gripped eagerly.

“You’re so wet,”  his voice was like its own form of foreplay in your ear.  “Is this what you’ve been wanting?  All this time?”

“Yes!”  You moaned out as his fingers massaged that magical spot inside of you.

“But not just this, you want more, don’t you?”  He was teasing you, and you hated how well Cassian could read you.  “You want me to fuck you?”

“Yes, please.”  You begged, riding his fingers as you felt your orgasm building.

“Say it.”  He demanded, applying his thumb to your clit and making your body shudder.  “Say what you want me to do to you.”

“I want you to fuck me Cassian, please.”  You beg once more, desperate as your orgasm gets closer.  He pulls his hand away from you, bringing his fingers to his mouth as he sucks them clean while you watch, breathless and even more turned on than you had been.  

“Cass-”  You begin to say as he cuts you off with a kiss, gripping your jaw as he works his tongue through your mouth, and you can taste yourself on him.  He pulls back, breaking the kiss to look you in the eye, and the way he looks makes your heart pound even harder.  His eyes are soft, softer than they have ever been, and yet they are full of want.

“I’m going to fuck you now, okay?”  He tells you, and you nod.  “If you want to stop, now is the time.  There is no going back after, not for me.”

“I don’t want to go back.”  You tell him, cupping his face and kissing him longingly.  Cassian doesn’t break the kiss as he fumbles to lower his boxers. Out of curiosity, your hand wanders down to grasp his hardened cock, and you are surprised by his size as you give him a few strokes.  Your surprise must show on your face because you swear you hear Cassian chuckle.

He hikes your leg further up to rest on his hip, and his hand nudges yours out of the way as he pulls your underwear to the side so he can guide himself to your entrances.  He runs his tip through your folds, spreading your wetness over his length before he begins to push into you.  

Your hands find his shoulders, digging your nails into his skin as you feel every inch of him at this angle.  He grasps your ass cheek with one hand as he pulls out halfway and pulls you back down his length.  Cassian does this a couple of times, and you grow impatient, wanting more friction and feeling full of him.  You try to buck your hips against him, telling him you want more.  He decides to take mercy on you and begins to thrust more rhythmically into you.  

His body is hot against yours, and you don’t think you’ve ever felt so close to anyone as you do right now.  Your nipples rub against his chest with every thrust,t and he nuzzles his face into your neck.  His scruff only adds to the kisses he plants on your neck, and you swear you could finish like this.  Your fingers card through his hair, gripping tightly whenever the tip of his cock hits your cervix.

“Cass, I’m so close,”  you whine, trying to move your hips with his to get your orgasm to come finally.  “I’m so close.”

“Come on, be a good girl and cum on my cock,”  he growls into your neck,k and you’re right on edge, and you know he can tell by the way he snaps his hips into yours faster.  “You feel so fucking good, so fucking tight.”  His words pull you closer and closer to the edge.  “I can feel you squeezing me. Are you gonna cum, baby?  You wanna come on my cock?  Be a good girl and cum.”  His words finally push you over the edge.  You cry out as your orgasm tears through you,u and you almost push him out with the force of it, but he grips you hard and fucks you through it.

“There, such a good girl.”  He murmurs into your neck, “You did so good. You look so pretty when you come for me.”  Your body twitches in the aftershocks of your orgasm. He pulls out of you with a pop and positions you on your back.  You are as limp as a rag doll, and as you look up at Cassian, he is smirking while stroking his cock.  He leans over you, kissing you sloppily down your body and stopping between your legs.  You think he’s about to pull away,y but then you feel his mouth over your clit, and he begins sucking.  

You writhe under him, overstimulated from your orgasm.  He runs his tongue through your folds, licking and lapping at your wetness,s and you can feel the start of another orgasm beginning.  His tongue teases your entrance before circling your clit a few more times, and you cum a second time, and he laps it all up.  As he sits back on his knees, you swear he has never looked more attractive than he does now, face slick with your cum.  He leans down to kiss your jaw and your neck and plants a kiss on each breast before settling between your thighs.  You whimper under him as he pushes himself back inside.  You bring your legs up to wrap around his waist and respond by wrapping an arm under you as the other cradles your head.  He rests his forehead against yours, and you wrap your arms around his neck as he starts thrusting and finds a rhythm.  

Never in your life have you shared such intimacy with another person.  You usually hated it.  But here, in Cassian’s arms, he gazes down at you with more emotion than you have ever seen from him- well, you could die right now,w and you would die happy.  

“I’ve wanted this for so long,”  He tells you between thrusts.  “I never knew how to tell you.”

“I didn’t know you felt this way.”  You squeezed him tighter with your thighs. 

“For longer than you know,”  he cracks a smile, and your head rolls back as he hits deeper inside you.  “I’m close.”

“Please,”  you tell him, but you’re not sure what for.  With a stutter of his hips, Cassian lets out a deep moan, caressing his hips a few more times before you feel his body relax.  He presses a kiss to your forehead before plopping down beside you, pulling you into his side when he sees you hesitate.

The two of you are silent while you catch your breath.  Immediately, your mind starts racing.  Did he mean he had feelings for you, or did he mean he wanted to just have sex with you?  Your stomach drops at the idea of him not actually having feelings for you, and you mistake his words for something more profound.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, pulling you onto his chest so he can examine you.

“Nothing,”  you try to brush up, giving him an unconvincing smile.  But this is Cassian, a rebel spy and your best friend.  He sees through it.

“Tell me, please.” He tilts his chin up, forcing you to address him. “After all of that, please tell him.”

“I feel like I may have misunderstood you. " You try your best to hide your emotions, not wanting to look too vulnerable if you did, in fact, misread the situation.

“No, I don’t think you did.”  He assures you, eyes full of worry that you haven’t seen before.  “I love you. I have loved you since that first week we met.”  He confesses.  “Once they partnered us together, I knew it would change my life.”

“Do you mean that, Cass?”  your voice cracks as you try to hold back tears.  “Because if you don’t, I’m going to punch you so hard in the face.”  Cassian laughed loudly before pulling your whole body on top of his and kissing you.

“I promise I meant every word,”  he tells you.  “I love you.”