[26.02.2020] CAS reflection essay – a complete summary of my 18-month long journey through the creativity, activity and service.
When I began the IB, I’ve felt anxious about the CAS element – especially about the service component. I’ve had some previous experience with such actions to make the world better and they’ve never appealed to me. This is mainly because I’m quite an introvert and a shy person and I prefer to spend the time on my own; I also feel poor and stress a lot when I’m under a certain obligation to other people. While I recognize that those features are not something to be proud of, I simply have to explain why I felt a certain way about CAS. But then the CAS actually happened and it was entirely better than I’ve imagined. CAS programme gave me a lot of freedom to create my own idea of it. In the end I realised that the activities I’ve undertaken were actually mine – and that is what gave me the spirit to pursue all of those projects.
My CAS experience made me realize that I’m not the best at critical assessments of my own work. While I often find myself being overcritical towards my own skills and achievements, I also tend to describe many of my features and the activities I’ve pursued as “fine”. This word, which doesn’t convey any specific message, implements that everything is good the way it is and after 18 months of my CAS activities I disagree with such implication. There is always a room for improvement – and there’s nothing wrong with that. I think I’ve learned to appreciate more a critical analysis of my own convictions and ideas. I’ve also found out that while I’m quite organised when it comes to studying, I’m more forgetful when it comes to storing and preparing the photographs and plans for my CAS actions. It happened many times that I had a beautiful picture of some meal or an interesting idea to include in my activity portfolio and I’ve lost it because I didn’t make a note about it. This way I began to learn to be more careful when it comes to the ideas and to always write them down (which I still forget to do sometimes).
I’m usually struggling to come up with a creative idea by myself, but when I finally do, I feel even more satisfied. In such a manner I came up with a plan how to accomplish the components of creativity and service. I very obviously struggled before finally setting up the gourmet.bean Instagram account but I did it nevertheless. This is the one activity that will probably stay with me for longer than just for the time of my IB course. While sharing my vegan recipes (and the recipes of other creators as well) with the world I developed my favourite passion and skill – cooking. At the same time I learned a lot about the art of constructive argumentation. I’ve read and watched a lot of vegan passages on many different subjects and I finally realised which claims are dear to me and which I don’t truly approve. There are many strategies in the vegan community to convince the others to shift to a plant-based diet as well and while attempting to do so, I discovered my own convictions in terms of this dispute. While creating my kitchen diaries I decided that it’s good to be vegan on your own conscious terms, without listening to the crowd murmuring that if you’ve accidentally consumed some powdered milk in your crisps, you’re a failure – because that simply is not the truth. Eating non-vegan food is not a failure. Choosing to eat a vegan meal is just a good and wholesome thing you can do to try and help the environment and the animals. Being on a vegan diet should not be a struggle and if you mostly eat vegan foods but you really care for that pizza with cheese, you should eat it and feel fine. We should do such things that are possible in our current situation an that’s fine. I’m glad I made such amendments with myself.
What’s more, I’ve developed my language and vocabulary skills when it comes to the English language – this is certainly a nice and surprising side effect of writing the recipes and describing my yoga exercises in this language. Yoga classes were another experience which allowed me to challenge myself and to develop new skills at the same time. When I’ve began to exercise with a group in September 2018 I had some expectations of how the classes look. After the first one, I realised that I have yet a lot to accomplish. The CAS journey of learning the new yoga poses and improving my posture were really fun but sometimes I struggled when I couldn’t bent my leg in a certain way after a long time of practising or even when I had to attend the class when the weather outside was miserable. I have to admit that I often preferred to stay at home when it was freezing cold and pouring rain but I’ve made a decision that I will exercise regularly. And I did, which is one of the biggest surprises that CAS caused me.
At the beginning of the IB course, my idea of the CAS project was pretty vague. I’ve struggled with it for some time but at some point I just change my previously established plans for the new ones, as I found the matter that I cared about so much. I’m really glad that the CAS experience allowed me to commit to the matters that are sincerely important to me. While pursuing my CAS project, I had the ability to discuss the issue of conscious voting with the others and to understand better why some of us choose not to participate in the local elections. I also had the possibility to challenge those convictions and to constructively and informatively debate over them. Frankly, I’m proud of the posters I’ve created with my friend because they accurately delivered the message we wanted to send. I’m equally proud of the fact that this project pushed me to recognize the ethical issues of such campaigns and the danger of bias in such matters. But when it comes to the issues of global significance, I’m also satisfied with the work I’ve done on my vegan Instagram account with the recipes and food ideas. I didn’t expect anyone to try those ideas so I was extremely beaming every time some classmate, friend or a stranger told me they liked my recipes, they wanted to try them or that they actually did recreate them. As I’m very committed to the social, political and environmental issue, I’m glad that CAS allowed me to get out of my comfort zone and do something about it.
What I find interesting is that while I didn’t take part in many group projects, CAS made me communicate with others a lot. I participated in the Write for Rights campaign alongside with my school peer, which is an example of learning about the benefits of collaborative work. But such examples are quite obvious. It was much more surprising for me how many conversations were initiated by my creativity and service account with the vegan recipes. Those discussions, usually with my friends, taught me how important it is to convey the arguments in a non-aggressive way, without insulting or pressuring the other person. It took me a long time to master the skill of appreciating a different point of view and I’m still learning to respect the suggestions of other people while I’m in a fervor of pursuing my agenda. After the months of interesting conversations I think I learned how to communicate and how to listen better. However, there is always a place for improvement, especially when it comes to fiery discussions. I still find it easier to write down the arguments than to articulate them aloud.
I’m happy that I’ve participated in all the CAS experiences I’ve encountered and I’m happy with all the connections with other people that I’ve made because of those activities. Nevertheless, the last eighteen months have been definitely challenging, although the many informal consultations with my CAS coordinator definitely helped me continue to get going. Altogether, my CAS projects, long-term and short-term experiences allowed me to learn some new things about me, which often happened in a subtle and indirect way. Fortunately, my expectations, which were preoccupied with fear, didn’t exactly come out to be true. Despite the tiring moments, CAS has been a rewarding experience and I do not regret my commitment in it.
