#casper casper

Tana/Alphonse/Seth

Tana has a name that's very fun to rhyme, so Tana Banana and Tana Bo-Fana are the kinds of casual nicknames they have with everyone, along with TanTan because I think it's cute. Tana has a more-is-more approach to accessorizing, which means you can hear them coming from a mile away and Alphonse will sometimes call them Jangles along with his Boo/Babe/Sugarboo repertoire. Seth's Southern charm nicknames are pretty hard to compete with for ideas, but I like the idea of him calling Tana the pet names Buns and BunBun, as their twin-bun hairstyle is pretty reminiscent of some pretty sweet treats. Plus Tana has an awful lot of ass and the double entendre is fun.

Tana has pretty fixed pet names for their boyfriends, favoring sweet themed pet names for their candy boy and to match with Seth's "Sugar." Seth's main 4 nicknames are cycled through as such based on Tana's mood at the time and how silly they're being:

Hon

Honey

Honey-bunch

Honey-bunches of oats

and honestly I think Seth is a sap for silly pet names, so he gets the last one a lot because Tana loves how he can't choose between laughing at the goofiness and melting at the affection. Alphonse's pet name is also a multiple choice questionnaire with Tana obviously choosing a candy for him:

Toots

Tootsie

Tootsie Roll

It's also got that sweet silliness, and there have been a non-zero amount of times where Tana has called him Tootsie Roll and they started singing and doing the dance and laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world. It's not really that funny, but it does make Alphonse crack a smile at his Boo every time. Also them calling him Toots cracks me up specifically, it's so dumb and I love it.

Monroe/Auron

Overall, Monroe isn't a huge fan of pet names. Their mom's favorite way to misgender them is to use feminine pet names, like "Mar-Bear" where the first part is a shortened version of their given name, Marilyn. Monroe's younger siblings will call them Roe, but that is allowed because those are basically their kids and it feels more like an additional name than anything. Overall, pet names tend to feel patronizing to Monroe, and they only like to be patronized in the bedroom. So rather than a cute pet name, being assigned a role like "my heart" in the moment suits Monroe far more. They do not give Auron a pet name unless they're teasing him, calling him things like Prince Charming when he's going overboard with the sweetness.

In terms of their d/s dynamic, I like Sir and Pet as their honorifics, as Pet is both gender-neutral and has that sort of "dehumanized but precious to me" vibe that I think suits what subspace looks like in their dynamic. Sir is pretty canon tbh, but I do love the idea of there being some all-hands meeting where Monroe addresses Auron and calls him Sir with juuuust the right inflection for the word to shoot straight downwards when it reaches his ears. Nothing obvious enough for anyone else to consider unusual of course, just enough to get some consequences for their bratty behavior later. In line with the Prince Charming from earlier, I think Monroe will sometimes call him Sir Auron with an exaggerated show of subservience, and if the address feels oddly familiar neither mentions it.

Casper/Charlie

The thing about deciding to make Casper their actual name (chosen to be their new name because of how precious it was as a name Charlie chose for them) is that I have actually removed a pet name from Charlie's arsenal, whoops. Luckily, I have a pet name that I think can fill that void nicely. With Charlie being a rat (figuratively) and DD being a raccoon (literally) I think it only makes sense that Casper also gets an urban-coded cutie, so they have the nickname Pigeon, sometimes shortened to Pidge. Along with me just loving pigeons, something about Casper coming to Charlie like a homing pigeon that didn't forget the way home just feels right. Casper uses the skateboard trick nickname "Ollie" from when they were kids with Charlie a lot, along with calling him their Rattie or Sugar Glider.

Eden/Finn

Garden Variety Finn: Eden's canon nickname of "Sunflower" divides into their two kinds of nicknames from the flower shop Finn. He'll call them Sunshine or Sunbeam, and he'll also toss out more flowers for them. Why call someone baby when you can call them Baby's Breath? Eden's not particularly used to using pet names, as past partners have called their attempts awkward at best. In their exes' defense, someone straight-faced calling you Earthworm can be a little tough to take, but Finn can read Eden well enough to know it's a term of endearment for how he brings life to his garden. They'll also call him Bumblebee or Honeybee, especially when he's being such a busy little bee running his shop the way he does.

Yandere (& Withered?) Finn: Orchid is a fine nickname, especially for how he wants to preserve Eden in a glass dome that keeps them perfectly contained in the ideal environment. Their adorable habit of reaching around to bite back against his firm love gives them additional plants in the garden of pet names, such as Belladonna (gender neutral lol) or Foxglove. In return, Eden names Finn for the weeds that see fit to strangle a lovely flower such as themselves, calling him Thistle or Dandelion, sometimes shortening the latter to Dandy (oh hey that's my fursona's name lol)

Bunny Finn: This one is interesting since I'm not sure if Bunny Finn's listener has a name? Like maybe Dearest but idk. In contrast to the floral and herbal leanings of the previous Finns, I associate Bunny Finn with a food-based garden and could see his pet names aligning that way. Names like Pumpkin or Sweetpea would suit their sensibilities just as well as they do their dinner plates. As a dryad, this Eden is even less accustomed to pet names than their human variants, and they only find themselves calling him Bunny or, if they're feeling particularly creative, Cottontail.

Vega/Faust

Vega's online handle is "CopyKat" so it goes without saying that she gets ALL of the kitty-themed nicknames, including Felis. Felis was a housecat constellation, but has since been absorbed into the greater Hydra constellation in terms of official recognition (tho I think one of the stars got the name?). He'll also call her Two Step since she's big in dancing, her first viral video being one where she did a DDR routine blindfolded and got an incredibly high score. Since Faust gave Vega the Star nickname based on his own streamer branding, obviously they had to give him one based on their own. So she'll often call him Catnip, and if they're in proximity the nickname will be accompanied by a sudden burst of physical affection like how a kitty rolls around in catnip. I think it starts as one of those "oh yeah, we're TOTALLY FRIENDS" things that makes everyone in the general vicinity roll their eyes and take bets on when these numbskulls will realize they're dating.

Aditi/Angel

Running in theme with Angel, I like the idea of Lucien having pet names with a bit of mythological origins. Apple would be a cute one, referring to Aditi as his temptation that keeps him from returning Hell or, in another interpretation, as the golden apple that drives gods insane with jealousy. Aditi as the source of chaos that leads to the Trojan war? Lucien finds it fitting for him. Brimstone would be another fun one, and probably suit those goth vibes in a way that gets Aditi feeling all cool and smug before Lucien grabs and covers his face in kisses like he's a housecat. I really like Aditi using Jaanu as a term of endearment towards Lucien, as they would have grown up with their parents showing each other that kind of affection. They also never stopped calling Lucien Big Red, and now that they have his name they added things like Lulu to the name ammunition tray.

Jay/Seth

Jay has all those "babydoll" and "sweetheart" nicknames, sure, but with their origin as the Bird listener they also get some greaser-flavored nicknames along those lines. J-Bird is an obvious one, which evolved into just getting called Birdie in that soft tone of voice that makes them melt. Seth also has a real talent for making things like "fucking nerd" sound like sweet talk (why I have "Sweet Talk" by Saint Motel in their playlist tbh) and so he keeps bullying Jay with that updated context. Jay, for their part, loves the canine themed nicknames. Jay will.be calling Seth things like Big Dog, which makes him grumble that he's a wolf not a damn dog, but he loves it. When Jay is more in the mood to do a little ragebaiting, they'll call him Puppy and they both pretend he isn't So Fucking Into That when he snaps back at them. Wolf gets his own pet names, as Jay thinks it's important to treat him as his own person, with nicknames like Tough Guy and Tank. Both Seth and Wolf get called a Good Boy tho, and one is more honest than the other about how much he likes it.

Berard/Seth

Oh hello my Scout, I never do anything w/ you. The "Cub Scout" basis of the Scout pet name goes double for Berard, as he's a short and stocky guy who hasn't quite hit the stage of T where his dad's genetics are activating the body hair growth yet. So while tossing a playful Cub in there, Seth will also call them Bear or Teddy, as Berard simply has bear vibes even without taking the "husky gay nonbinary guy" elements into account. Berard likes to call Seth his Sasquatch, teasing him and also being heavily envious of his body hair situation, as well as calling him Trout, considering themselves lucky for the fact that this fish returned to their little river so that the two could meet.

Winslow/Alphonse

Similar to Werewolf!Seth, the Clownphonses coat their affection in a level of meanness, though the vibes are sharper since these two are yandere and tsundere. A favorite nickname besides the condescending pet names is Slowpoke, partially for the second half of Winslow's name, partially to call then dumb in that sort of dollification way that I like to think Winslow has been low-key brainwashed, and partially to tease them for every time the two play their own sexy/dangerous version of tag with their favorite toy. Winslow actually doesn't use any nicknames for either Alphonse, simple referring to each by name. "Does it get confusing that they have the same name?" someone asks, and Winslow tilts its head to try and process the question. "How is it confusing?" Then they call out each Alphonse individually from a distance and all 3 know exactly who they're calling for. Idk something about that tickles me.

Rowan/Thomas

We haven't spent a whole lot of time with Thomas for me to get a handle on their exact relationship vibe, but I can figure out a few nicknames based on Rowan's traits at least. Part of their backstory is that, while between jobs as a travelling farm laborers, they earned recognition by saving a civilian from a werewolf attack (on the night that the treaty was broken, if I'm not remembering the timeline wrong) armed with a pitchfork, so they sometimes get called Sheepdog for defending against a wolf like that. They've also got ginger hair and a tan that's more pink than brown, they're perfect for nicknames like Carrots or Gingy. I know that they're already crushing on Thomas at this point of the story (because Look At Him!) but I don't have enough of a handle on their dynamic to figure out how playful they can be with a nickname when not in the middle of Plot, so gonna have to hold on that.

Jay/Ulrick

Montage Melodies

1. Opening Theme: Girls & Boys by Blur

"Girls who are boys who like boys to be girls/ Who do boys like they're girls, who do girls like they're boys"

Casper's approach to gender is the equiivelant of throwing a bunch of different fruits into a bottle of water, shaking it up real good, and letting it infuse overnight. You're not quite sure which particular "gender" has the most influence on their presentation of the day but you can be sure of one thing: it's real fucking fruity.

2. Day In The Life: Sell Out by Reel Big Fish

"Tell me it's cool and I sure believe it/ Sell out with me, oh, yeah/ Sell out with me tonight"

This montage would focus on the sudden change in Casper's life after "selling out" to be on Auron's rotation of personal drivers (possibly the best paid one) and the way that luxury shows. In some ways, as Casper meanders through her apartment, it's a time capsule of all those interests that haven't changed. When you look closer, there are some obvious upgrades. That old band poster may have pin holes in the corners, but you can't really see them inside of the night picture frame it's mounted in. Casper's clothing is the same, but his closet is suddenly bigger than his actual wardrobe (and he has little intention of inflating it). On the subject of their wardrobe, we'd see Casper's drivers uniform, but it's been modded to hell with intentional distressing and a combination of safety pins and spikes. We might get a cut to Casper at work, but we'd get back to causal mode Casper pretty quickly, including shots of their storage space of portraits, a room converted to a painting studio, and that same old skateboard they grab in lieu of taking the car out for a drive, making their way to their role in the first episode of Lost & Found.

3. Put 'Em Up: Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance

"I am not afraid to keep on living/ I am not afraid to walk this world alone/ Honey, if you stay, I'll be forgiven/ Nothing you can say can stop me going home"

Casper gives me dark horse vibe when it comes to a potentially dangerous situation. In part because they have a Really Cool Knife that they slash Charlie's tires with, but still! It'd be easy to treat Casper as a civilian if something unexpectedly went down, especially when compared to his Mob Boss boss and Former Gang Drug Dealer boyfriend who are most likely the actual targets. If there's one thing about Casper though, they're tenacious and won't go down without a fight, being more than willing to take cheap shots and fight dirty in the name of surviving to talk about this Crazy Day with Charlie later.

4. Shake It Off: Fine by Lemon Demon

"Why don't we sit back, mellow again/ And have a nice afternoon, it'll be fine"

If there's one thing that Casper has learned over the years of stressing over boy problems and gender problems and art problems and those same boy problems but in a different font, it's that everything will work out the way it should in the end. She lets the stress just roll of her back like water on a duck, but sometimes those problems don't just naturally go away. It can be easy for Casper to end up in a rut of just waiting for things to get better, but they are aware of this fault and tend to catch it in progress and take the initiative to get moving again. Usually.

5. It's a Good Day: Mahna, Mahna by CAKE

"Mahna, mahna/ Mahna, mahna/ Mahna, mahna"

There's something nostalgic about Casper's good days. Even when it's not a blast from the past injecting some pep into their step, it makes them feel like a kid again when they're happy. He's giddy, smiley, and maybe a little bit reckless in the way that kids who don't quite grasp mortality yet seem to be.

Biographic Beats

6. I Have A Dream: Hall of Fame by The Script & will.i.am

"'Cause you burn with the brightest flame/ And the world's gonna know your name/ And you'll be on the walls of the Hall of Fame"

Some people want to be rich and famous, but now that they've come into money Casper knows that it's more about the famous part for them. They went to school and graduated with a portfolio packed to the brim with oil painting, focusing on portraiture that pushes colors to higher levels of saturation and utilizes bold brushstrokes to loud declare themselves as Art. Her art is filled with a kind of life that makes it seem like they're going to leap from the canves, even with the levels of abstraction applied to the subjects. They're definitely going to hit that famous mark soon, they just need to find their audience to appreciate it.

7. Family Matters: In the Meantime by Spacehog

"When all the stars will smile for me/ When all is well and well is all for all/ And forever after/ Well, maybe in the meantime, wait and see"

Casper's family loves them unconditionally and supports them in everything they do... to a point. We love you and your gender presentation and we will do our best to financially support your art schooling! Maybe uh... you're kind of plateauing a bit there, might be time to fallback? They love and want to protect Casper from failure, but it can be a bit stifling to have their ideas of success pushed onto them. The difference between loving someone and believing in them can smart like a backhanded slap, and if they could just be patient they'll see what Casper has to offer the world.

8. You Take The Good: Tubthumbing by Chumbawamba

"I get knocked down/ But I get up again/ You're never gonna keep me down"

Casper always bounces back, and everyone knows they can count on that. After all, they haven't succeeded on the first try with so many things, but if you keep trying only good things can happen, right?

9. With The Bad: Burnout by Green Day

"So close to drowning, but I don't mind/ I'll live inside this mental cave"

If you keep trying only good things can happen, right? Maybe so, but Casper has been trying again and again, and it's harder every time. Making art has been their passion for so long, but it's harder to pick up the paintbrush when there's a storage area full-to-bursting with paintings that haven't found their audience. Hopefully reconnecting with Charlie doesn't result in them just ignoring that problem.

10. Total Relationship Killer: Harness Your Hopes by Pavement

"Harness your hopes/ On just one person/ Because you know a harness/ Was only made for one"

Casper had a few relationshsips between not-confessing to Charlie and reconnecting with Charlie, but none of them lasted very long. Ultimately, Casper has not gone into any relationships with goals beyond recreated what she had with Charlie, and wouldn't you know it? Relationships don't tend to fly that high when you're anchoring them to the idea of someone from your past.

Romantic Rhapsodies

11. At First Sight: Here It Goes Again by OK Go

"Just when you get on a roll/ Oh, here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again"

It's such a clear visual. Casper rolls up to Sweet Pete's on that first drumline. We cut to an exhausted Charlie with the eyebags and hair clinging to his sweaty forehead. We cut back to Casper, who is looking like they've been shocked with a livewire. Then a cartoon animation of a cupid's arrow hitting their heart so hard that it forms a mushroom cloud. Then Casper has heart shaped pupils and any concerns that their attraction to Casper wouldn't hold up after all these years are dashed.

12. To Love: Just Like a Movie by Wallows

"And now I see, you see right through me/ And now it's real, just like a movie"

Loving Charlie so openly and sweetly is a dream come true for Casper. It's not him projecting anything onto Charlie with his costalgia goggles, they just fit together perfectly.

13. And To Be Loved: Head Over Feet by Alanis Morisette

"You're my best friend/ Best friend with benefits/ What took me so long/ I've never felt this healthy before"

Head Over Feet is so Charlie coded to me, I'm not even kidding. Just falling ass over tea kettle for Casper all over again (like he ever really stopped). Not to mention the line with treating him like a princess <3 Sugar glider Charlie

14. Until It's Over: That's What You Get by Paramore

"I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating/ And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa"

Remember way back in prompt 8 when I said that reconnecting with Charlie could result in Casper ignoring their burnout? That would be the crux of their relationship ending. Charlie has grown so much, not so much because Casper has changed them but because she's given him an enviorment where he can reflect on things and grow as a person. It would be tragic if that growth came at the cost of Casper regressing to an earlier version of themself that lacked a lot of the fire that's kept them burning for so long. His love for Charlie would be reshaped as something that distracted him and successfully won against him, especially if in the end they break up.

15. Unless It's Forever: Baby, I Love You by Ramones

"Oh I'm so glad I found you/ I want my arms around you/ I love to hear you call my name"

“Can I ask a trans question?” Charlie asks, almost addressing the room more than Casper themself. They’re both on Casper’s couch sitting in what God-fearing folks would consider awkward positions, with Casper’s criss-cross legs wedged against the arm of the sofa while Charlie dangles his legs off its back, currently looking at the world upside down. DD is perched on the sofa arm next to Charlie, somehow sitting the most human out of the three of them.

Casper turns their head awkwardly to make eye contact with Charlie while grinning, “Babe, if you’re about to come out to me, we’re gonna be the most powerful t4t couple the world has ever seen.” They stretch their arm to reach for the pizza on the coffee table that’s juuuuuust close enough to… nope, Casper’s going to have to sit up like a normal person to grab their slice.

“Tea for…? Uh, no no, nothing like that.” Charlie rotates to a normal sitting position in solidarity with the sacrifice that Casper is making for the acquisition of pizza, “I’m cis, or at least I’m pretty sure I’m still cis.” Well, if he’s sitting up too, may as well also grab a bite. He reaches for the other box that’s got the extra cheese pizza and happily munches on a slice. “I’m just wonderin’… why Casper?” Charlie accentuates his question with his hands, waving the pizza around his head in the process. DD keeps their eyes laser-focused on the prize, waiting for the moment to strike. “Like, we were kids and thought skateboard tricks would be cool nicknames or whatever. What if back then I was calling you Kickflip or Nosegrind? Is that what Auron’d be writing on your paychecks now?”

Casper gives Charlie a wild grin, “First of all, Kickflip would do numbers as a nonbinary name, thank you very much.” They nudge Charlie’s shoulder playfully, then hold the position to lean into their boyfriend for some cuddles. Another bite of pizza later, they continue, “Secondly, believe it or not I did put a lot more thought into it then ‘well, that’s what Ollie’s calling me anyways’ you know.” Charlie’s old nickname doesn’t come up as often as Casper’s for obvious reasons, so it catches him off guard. He smiles at the warm fuzzy feeling the old name brings him and gives Casper a forehead kiss to share some of those butterflies in his stomach. “Do you remember when I came out to you?” Casper asks, eyes brimming with affection.

Charlie thinks hard, his nose wrinkling as he stares into the middle distance while furiously sorting through the proverbial files in his memory banks. “Not in detail… Pretty sure I made a damn fool of myself, but I’m not sure how.” Charlie laughs awkwardly, “I do remember that nothing changed, though. You were still just Casper to me.”

Casper makes a loud buzzer noise and holds up both their hands to make an x, “Eaaaaaa! Wrong!” Casper gently headbutts Charlie, snuggling impossibly closer. “You were sweet, and it changed everything. That was the day I realized that the dorky mop-head who busted his ass every time we hit the skate park was actually my soulmate, and one day we would be together and he would give birth to our beautiful raccoon child.” They both crack up at this, nuzzling noses through their giggles.

This is the moment that DD strikes, taking advantage of their humans’ silly and sappy natures to lunge for the crust of what used to be a pizza slice, adorable raccoon hands easily yanking the prize before scurrying off, chittering in mischievous glee. “MY PIZZA BONES!” Charlie cries out, vaulting over the back of the couch to give chase, Casper close at his heels. The conversation is forgotten, as the new priority is now oh god no please don’t choke on the pizza crust, DD!

»»——⍟——««

It was the summer between the end of middle school and the beginning of high school. There were shelves full of movies telling me that this was supposed to be the time that I “came of age” even if I wasn’t quite sure what that meant. Those movies made it seem like there would be some big adventure or moment, but all I had were precious small ones. A soundtrack of burnt CDs that skip in places, the smell of burnt pancakes and maple syrup, the way Charlie’s smile went crooked when he was embarrassed, a hoodie that was 2-sizes too big but hid my discomfort deep in its pockets, loitering outside Sweet Pete's Pizzeria with single slices each, the way that I’d wake up first at our sleepovers and pretend I hadn’t reached for and held my best friend in my sleep. Which of these was supposed to bring me of age?

One day, Charlie and I were posted outside the park, staring at the teenagers who were skating there. A lot of the older skaters were cool about us making use of the space as well, but that day had an unusually rude bunch that made nasty comments as we rode by, even if we did the tricks correctly. In their opinion, we were some middle school brats that made the place less cool, and we didn’t have the high school IDs yet to prove them wrong. We didn’t want to go home, so we just waited and hoped that they’d skate off and do some of the stupid things that older teenagers do, leaving the concrete paradise for us to inherit. To pass the time, we leaned on that fence with a music player tucked into my hoodie. Charlie and I kept our heads close, delicately sharing a pair of earbuds between us as the band playing sang about a love lost- some kind of metaphor for childhood the had websites said. We both had our hands on the railing of the fence. I was on that fence. He was so close, just a couple inches would close the distance between our pinkies. Maybe I could interlock them, making a silent promise between us. I chewed on my lip and bid the thoughts away, just as I did so many times.

“Hey Ollie?” I hated the way my voice cracked. It was one of the many ways that puberty reminded me of its presence, like some bully that couldn’t pass you in the halls without a casual slap to your head to remind you of your place. “Can I tell you something?” My palms were coated in sweat, and it wasn’t just because of the thick sweatshirt that didn’t suit the summer heat.

“Of course, Casper,” Charlie’s smile was as easy as ever, not a care in the world besides enjoying our time together. “You can tell me anything.” I loved to hear him call me Casper. I’d pitched the idea of having cool skateboard nicknames as a way to try and cope with the feelings my own name brought me, but Charlie had been the one to choose Casper. I remember after school that day he showed me his notebook with a list of skateboarding tricks that could be names, some crossed out, some erased so hard they tore holes in the paper, and “Casper” circled three times with stars drawn around it. For a split second I’d thought they were hearts and mine had almost stopped. 

I swallowed the spit in my mouth, feeling my anxiety choke its way down my throat alongside it. “This isn’t a normal ‘anything’ though. It’s like… I dunno, like a Darth Vader moment.” I pulled my hands into my sleeves, further away from Charlie. They felt safer there where no one could see them.

Charlie looked confused, “Casper, I know you’re not my dad.” It broke some kind of tension in me and I cracked a grin despite the torrent of adrenaline coursing through me. He continued, “So long as you’re not my dad and you’re not some kind of space villain, I think I’ll be able to take it.” Charlie smiled again, reassured by his own logic, while the wind picked up and I could tell instinctively that this was my movie moment. Why else would he look so perfectly framed like some hunky lead in a romantic comedy? “Friends forever, right?” He put an arm around my shoulder in a sort of hug, which is as physically affectionate as two guys could be in public. Well, a guy and a guy.

Friends forever. I didn’t let that F word gnaw at my ribcage this time, as my best friend was truly who I needed right now. I could moon over him while listening to pop songs I swore I hated some other time. “I’m… I don’t… I… damn, this is hard,” I grumbled and pulled my hood over my head. Maybe it would be easier if I wasn’t looking at him. “It’s like… I dunno…” Charlie didn’t rush me, despite how little information he was getting while I shared a whole lot of nothing. “You know that anime we used to watch? Where the guy would change into a girl?”

“Uh, sure Cas.” Charlie looked confused again, probably trying to predict my confession so that he could react accordingly. “I don’t know how this makes you Darth Vader, though.”

I brought my sleeve up to my face and chewed on the end, soothing myself with the texture while my bones tried to gnash my insides to a pulp. “Sometimes I feel like a guy and sometimes I feel like a girl,” I blurted out, hoping that just pushing the words into the air would alleviate some of the pressure. It didn’t. “But mostly it’s like a mix of both, and sometimes it’s neither, but it’s never the same and it’s like every day I want to look different and no matter how I want to look it’s not how I look so I just throw on this hoodie and try not to think about it but I’m always thinking about it and-”

“Holy shit…” Charlie pulled his arm away from me with a look of dawning horror and my spine froze as the blood rushed from my face. This was it: the worst case scenario. My best friend thought I was a freak and didn’t want anything to do with me anymore and he was never going to want to hang out with me and I’d be alone and never have any friends again and- “Casper’s a boy name!” Charlie shouted, grabbing my shoulders and inadvertently shaking them as the intensity overtook him.

“What?” My meltdown paused like one of those freeze-frames in cheesy movies and I stared dumbly at my panicking best friend. “No it’s not.”

Charlie looked at me like I was an idiot, “Yes it is! Like Casper the ghost or Casper the… ok, I don’t know any other Caspers but I do know it’s a boy name!” He let go of me and started pacing back and forth, the earbud finally giving up on staying connected to him. “This is bad, this is bad… I’ve been making you feel like shit by calling you a boy name and you’re not a boy, or like not always a boy?” He turned back to me, “Do you need more names? I can find some girl skateboard names and we can go back and forth? Oh, but you’ll have to tell me if it’s a girl day or a boy day so I call you the right one. Then maybe another name that’s both and another name that’s neither? Is four names too many?”

“Four names is too many,” I answered, feeling my heart swell as a tickly feeling rose from my stomach all the way up to my face. It teased at my cheeks until I was smiling despite myself, “Casper is fine for a nickname, Charlie.” I dropped his own nickname to emphasise the point, “I don’t need any more besides that.”

Charlie held out his hands, miming pushing something down to pump the breaks on his own breakdown, “OK, good. I’d feel terrible if I was making you feel bad all the time.” He gave me that embarrassed crooked smile that I was so enamoured with, he must have felt self-conscious about his mini-freakout. “You’re like, my most important person. I just want you to be happy.”

“It’s not weird?” I asked, turning back to lean on the fence again. Those older teens were talking to each other instead of skating, hopefully that meant they would disperse soon. “I mean, it’s not like I’ve met anyone like that before. Just a bunch of cartoon characters, and it’s not like they wanted to be switching back and forth.”

Charlie leaned his back against the fence and slid down to a sitting position. “The only thing that's weird is that your body can’t just change to match it.” He nodded seriously and looked up at me, “I mean, my body’s changing to make me more like a guy, it only seems fair. You should be able to just wake up and look in the mirror and go, ‘Hey, looks like a boobie day today!’”

I cracked up, “Every day with you is a boob day,” I playfully kicked at him. Things were feeling normal again, and that meant some good-natured teasing.

“Hey! What does that even mean!?” Charlie brought his arms to a defensive position and curled up to protect his organs from my onslaught of not-actually kicks. The toe of my shoe nudged at a spot on his side, and I laughed at his undignified yelp.

I granted him mercy and stopped, pondering the question, “It means… wanna crash at mine tonight?” I grabbed my skateboard, seeing the teens finally make their exit. “You know, so long as it’s not weird to have sleepovers now that I’m not a normal guy anymore.”

Charlie stood up, grabbing his own board. “You were never ‘a normal guy’ to me, Cas.” We went through the gate together, and I was once again aware of how criminally close our hands were when we carried our boards on opposite sides of each other. “As I see it, nothing changed except now you might have boobie days.”

“You know I’m not just gonna grow a pair of tits, right?”