Mar 28, 2021
i've never been good at reflecting.
there's gaps in my memories which i can't fill and even if i could i don't know if i'd even want to...
i get called emotional, people think that i'm being vulnerable with them when i talk about how i feel, and things the have happened in the past.
but in reality, i'm not even close. i'm not even close to uncovering everything
people think they know what happened, because of what i share, but most of it i haven't even shared with myself.
i need to reflect. but it seems like the mirrors are all broken. maybe i can fix it a little but there will always be cracks in the glass.
but maybe i don't need to know all of my past in order to move forward. time will be going regardless, so maybe i should too.
#carterlife#cartertalks#a little bit abt reflection#i strive to forgive but it's so fucking hard when my entire childhood was taken from me. i want to forgive but not forget#i want to forgive and move on but move on with the knowledge that if he ever tries to come back into my life...#i will say no. for ME. because. im here to have a good time. to reach whatever kind of tranquility i can. and i cant do that with him around#he's proven that. but i can forgive the past for existing. and then carry on with my life having chosen to be strong.#abuse and trauma doesnt make u stronger. you choose to be stronger regardless of everything you went through
