Happy Ides of March, fellow Shaksbeardians and history scowlers. It is not a happy day, in many ways, for us Apprentice Caretakers, of course. Anyhow, tomorrow we will celebrate, and Samaranth has asked me, as his secretary (part-time job, and no it does not pay well, and he only calls very randomly, and his phone network is remarkably bad) to show you this little invitation card for a tea party. He promises it is perfectly safe. You may bring a badger. He will serve very hot tea, and leprechaun crackers, and other perfectly unsuspicious refreshments. You should take care that your clothes are fireproof.

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ARISTOPHANES

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you get it? Horny? Like, he has a horn and he is horny??? A horny unicorn!

So, since it’s Caretaker Day and I haven’t prepared anything, here’s all of my CotIG fanfictions, several of them written for previous Caretaker Days!

The Dignified Suitor – Not written for Caretaker Day, and the only unfinished (and paused!) one. I don’t really know what to do with it at the moment, but I am fond of it, and will probably return to it. It’s not really related to the plot of CotIG, only the world and some of the characters, and it has a lot of my own inventions in it, set around a young actress called Annabel Lee.

How They Saved The Joy Of Christmas – My first CotIG fanfiction, for my first Caretaker Day. I need to edit a lot of it, because there’s so many errors and typos and whatnot in it. I actually did, with about the half of it, and then lost it all, so I shall begin again. It’s not at all good to look at, but I like the story a lot, and it’s surprisingly long by the standards of my fanfictions. It’s more of a Christmas story (obviously) but I don’t think that’s a problem. A lot of it is set in Oxford, even in the Bird & Baby, with some references to the boys’ lives and books.

My Dragon – A one shot about Fred’s first watch. A bit sad, probably.

Make Utopia, add Pistachios – Another one shot, very fluffy, only sightly sad, featuring Tummeler, Samaranth, Poe, Houdini, and Doyle.

Wishing You Well – Written for an earlier Caretaker Day, this one centers around Jack, Aven, Artus and Stephen, with a speciall appearance by Warnie Lewis, and a great many Lost Boys and Talking Animals, and a mention of Nemo. Some whistfulness and melancholy, but these ultimately lead to a much happier state of being for those involved.