#careerposts

I’m often in two minds about who I want to be. Not just two minds, multiple minds, there are so many types of paths I can choose to follow.

Career

Should I pursue staying in not-for-profit work and working for vulnerable people? 

Or, should I try to go corporate? Have some job security, fit the family dynamics and have money to be safe and secure?

Or, should I try for government jobs? Try to be someone important and effect real change in the world?

Each has their pros and cons. If I was a truly selfless person I would stay in not-for-profit, no question, and that’s where I am in my mind to be right now.

However, corporate is becoming an option to get real training and support from a company that is willing to invest in me. I’ve never had that before. Going corporate would potentially allow me to see the world and travel. Not-for-profits will always have funding issues and I would always be staying in something small. 

I’ve always wanted to work for the federal government, but after what I have seen them do I don’t think I could live with myself.

I’ve always wanted to do something, and be someone who is, honourable. My dream job at this moment, would be a UN fieldworker. 

Lifestyle

I’ve always wanted to be someone glamourous. I’ve always thought that meant to be fashionable, beautiful and effortless. The thing is though that I have never been glamourous. I’ve always felt out of place wearing makeup, having my hair done or wearing high heels. 

This always makes me question why I try to aspire to things that are beyond my reach. Like government jobs and corporate jobs and NFP. Like why I went beyond my reach to become a lawyer. 

I’ve always wanted to be something more than average, I’ve wanted to be the best. That’s private school competition for you. I expect perfection from myself but I have often fell short. 

I didn’t get in the 90s for my UAI, I only a Credit average for my law degree not a Distinction average, I got my drivers licence on my second attempt.

I’ve muddled my way through my life.