#carabalism

the sounds of leaves crunching beneath the weight of someone's boots startle y/n from her sleep. in a quick, but quiet motion, she unties the skipping rope from around her torso that she used to secure her to the tree she sought refuge in the night prior. peeking her head out behind the tree ever so slightly, y/n was able to notice a man crouching close to the ground, his vision is cast down at the ground. to anyone it would've looked like he was just admiring a cool rock or something, but y/n recognised what he was doing. he was a tracker.

"hey!" y/n called down to the man, who immediately stood up and aimed his crossbow up at her, "you huntin'?"

he didn't respond and continued glaring at her, though he hesitates to keep his crossbow pointed at her. she's a kid, a scrawny looking one at that. it's not like she could do much to harm him.

"you deaf or something?" y/n raised an eyebrow at him, she reached over to her backpack and dug through it for a few seconds. before he could question her, a dead squirrel was flung from the tree and landed on the ground in front of daryl. he crouched down to the ground to pick it up, but kept his crossbow aimed at the girl.

"thanks," he grunts in acknowledgment, securing the squirrel to his back.

"where ya headed?" y/n kicked her legs back and forth as they dangled over the branch she had slept on the previous night.

"ain't ya a nosey bitch," he scoffed, squinting his eyes at her.

"hey, i just gave you free food, asshole!" y/n yells, her words accompanied by an impolite hand gesture, "where you goin'? got a camp?"

when she received no answer from the man, she reached around the tree trunk, unhooking her bow from a knife she had stabbed into the tree to create a makeshift hanger for the bow. she pulled the knife out of the tree and cut her backpack down from a piece of rope she had tied around a higher branch. slinging the bag over one shoulder, she slipped her knife into a sheath by her belt and held up the bow, waving it at daryl, "i know how to hunt. lemme come with."

daryl lowered his crossbow, but his lip twitched in annoyance, "whatever, if a geek shows up i ain't savin' y'er ass."

y/n rolled her eyes, but didn't dignify his words with a response and instead secured her bow and quiver to her back. she swung the skipping rope she had previously tied around herself around the tree and wrapped both ends around her hands and slowly made her way down the tree.

"geeks?" y/n scoffed, a smirk growing on her face, "that what you call 'em?"

daryl glared at the teen, "what'd you call 'em then, smartass."

"biters," y/n shrugged, reaching behind her back to retrieve her bow and an arrow from her quiver, "y'know, 'cause they bite?"

"whatever," daryl began walking, following the same tracks he had been previously, "ya out here alone?"

"yeah." y/n's tone sharpened, "you?"

daryl looked over his shoulder briefly, surprised that someone so young survived on their own, "nah, ma' brother 'n some group."

"really?" y/n questioned, surprise evident in her tone. she spins, looking around with false curiosity, "you seem pretty alone to me."

daryl was starting to lose his patience with the smart mouthed girl, "shut up."

the two tracked in silence, occasionally killing walkers in their way. y/n could tell that the man was not a threat to her, but she kept quiet to avoid antagonising him. the girl did annoy daryl, but he had to admit to himself she had valuable skills that none of the kids at the camp had, but he would keep that to himself. there was a clear difference in abilities between the girl and the other children he knew of. this kid was alone and alive with nothing more than a few faint bruises and scrapes across her skin.

y/n stopped in her tracks, aiming her bow at a squirrel on a tree. she pulled the arrow back to her cheek and when she was confident with her aim, she released the arrow, impaling the squirrel.

"nice shot." daryl grunted, watching her pull the arrow out the tree and then out of the squirrel.

"thanks," y/n smirked at daryl, "you're pretty good with that crossbow."

daryl rolls his eyes. pretty good? he was damn good.

"so what's your name?" y/n asked, following him again.

daryl stayed quiet for a few moments, contemplating whether or not he should tell the tree-dwelling girl his name. he figured it wouldn't hurt, "daryl."

"daryl." y/n repeats his name to herself, "you ain't a rapist or nothin' right?"

"huh?" daryl's head snaps in y/n's direction, startled by the question.

"stranger danger? ever heard of it?" y/n raises an eyebrow at the man, her tone slightly patronising.

"if i was a rapist, 'm sure y'would've figured that out by now."

"not that you asked, but my name's y/n." she rolled her eyes, looking back at the ground to spot any other trails to follow.

"ya don't look a day over ten, how old're you?" daryl asked, the question had been on his mind the entire time she had been following him. he was curious how she had made it so far without anyone.

"i'm twelve actually." y/n states matter-of-factly, her eyes squinting at the back of his head as she corrected him.

"big difference." he scoffed.

"it is a big difference. next year i'll be a teenager." she says, her voice full of pride.

daryl grunts in acknowledgement, but didn't press the subject further. the thought that she may not live to make it to her teens passes through his mind, but he dismissed it quickly. there was no time to think about the future anymore, there was only now. not that daryl spent much time thinking about the future anyways.

the two had gathered a large haul in the time they hunted together, but despite this daryl continued walking and y/n followed.

"this deer better be worth it." daryl grumbled.

y/n heard rustling coming from ahead and shushed daryl. he turned to look at her and she had put her finger to her lip to signal him to be quiet. daryl's jaw clenched in annoyance, but he held his tongue and decided he could give her an earful later. she was telling him to be quiet? yeah right.

they both readied their weapons as quietly as they could and slowly approached the noise ahead, suspecting a walker ahead. daryl walked ahead into a small clearing where a group of men all had weapons held up.

"son of a bitch!" daryl yelled, lowering his weapon and making his way over to the deer, "that's ma' deer!"

y/n kept her bow up, staring at the group of men intensely. daryl clearly knew these men well enough to lower his weapon, but y/n didn't have a clue whether they could be trusted.

"look at it. all gnawed on by this.." daryl stared at the deer in disgust, "filthy, disease-bearing, motherless poxy bastard!" each word he said was accompanied by a kick to the corpse's side.

"calm down, son. that's not helping." one of the men spoke up. y/n stayed quiet, not walking out into the clearing until she knew it was safe to do so. the men were yet to notice her, far too distracted by daryl's outburst to even consider there being another person.

"what'd you know 'bout it, old man?" daryl stepped closer to dale, "why don't ya take that stupid hat and go back to on golden pond?"

"i've been trackin' this deer for miles." daryl complained, pulling his arrows out of the deer, "s'gonna drag it back to camp, cook us up some venison. what'd you think? d'ya think we can cut around this chewed up part right here?"

"i would not risk that," shane responded.

"that's a damn shame," daryl sighed, "i got some squirrel, 'bout a dozen or so, that'll have to do."

y/n noticed the walker's head detached from its body move, no one had killed the brain. she aimed her bow at the walker's head and released the arrow, her shot puncturing it through the skull.

"c'mon people, what the hell?" daryl scoffed, "it's gotta be the brain. don't y'all know nothin'?"

the men were suddenly on guard again, staring at the girl who shot the arrow, "who the hell is that?!"

y/n lowered her bow and raised her hands in the air to show she wasn't a threat.

"some dumb kid, found 'er in a tree." daryl grunted walking away, "merle!"

rick looked over at dale, silently telling him to deal with the girl, whilst him and shane dealt with daryl. dale nodded at rick and waited for rick to leave and follow after daryl.

"what's your name, kid?" dale smiled at the girl, trying his best to not intimidate her.

"what's your's?" y/n squinted her eyes at him.

"i'm dale, the other's you saw were shane, rick, glenn and jim. you seem to know daryl, so no need to tell you his name," he explained, "i've given you a few names now, do i get to know your's?"

"y/n," she nodded, "got a few squirrels, take as much as you 'n your group need 'n i'll be on my way."

"that's quite generous of you, y/n," dale compliments as he watches y/n pull a rope with dead squirrels attached off her shoulder and threw it on the ground towards him.

"call it southern hospitality or whatever," she shrugged, putting her bow on her back. she grabbed her arrow from the walker's skull and tucked it back into her quiver.

"you sure your folks won't want some?" dale tilted his head. he was good with his words, each word chosen on purpose to figure out the girl in front of him.

"when you see my folks, give me a holler, ain't seen 'em in a while," y/n scoffed, eyeing dale as he crouched to the ground to pick up the rope and dead squirrels.

"why don't you stay a bit then? eat with a group of people for a change?" dale smiled kindly, gesturing back to the camp behind him.

y/n looked behind him to see daryl in a chokehold and she raised an amused eyebrow at dale, "seems like y'all got plenty of entertainment, why not."

dale furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and turned back to see the commotion, "it's not always like this.."

"damn shame that is," y/n laughed, walking towards the camp with dale following close behind. shane throws daryl to the ground, releasing him from the chokehold and y/n smirked, amused at the scene unfolding in front of her.

"what i did was not on a whim," rick stared at daryl, "your brother does not work and play well with others."

"what happened?" y/n whispered to dale.

"rick, the one in white, handcuffed daryl's brother to a rooftop.. left him there." dale replied honestly, looking at the ground with shame written across his face.

"i'd be pissed too." y/n sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. she had noticed people stare at her, but not say anything about her presence, seeing as there was a much bigger problem at hand.

"it's not rick's fault, i had the key. i dropped it." t-dog spoke up, y/n could tell by the way he looked and spoke that he felt guilty, ashamed even.

"ya couldn't pick it up?" daryl questioned, squinting at the other man.

"well, i dropped it in a drain."

daryl scoffed and lowered his head, he knelt on the ground for a few seconds before getting, "if it's supposed to make me feel better, it don't."

"well, maybe this will," t-dog paused for a second, "look, i chained the door to the roof, so the geeks couldn't get at him... with a padlock."

"it's gotta count for something." rick spoke to daryl with a calm voice, but y/n knew rick chose the wrong words to say to the pissed off redneck.

daryl rubbed his face in frustration, wiping the tears he felt in his eyes, "t'hell with all y'all! just tell me where he is, so's i can go get him!"

"he'll show you," a woman spoke up, "isn't that right?"

rick processed her words for a few seconds and began nodding, "i'm goin' back."

the woman stepped back into the rv and y/n stared at her in confusion. she seemed upset that the man was going back, but she practically just volunteered him.

daryl walked off, obviously not touched by rick's offer and now that daryl was gone, people in the camp that had noticed y/n turned to her.

hearing that question almost stunned him into silence. almost.

all he could possibly muster up was an awkward sounding, “um- what?”. by the heat on his face, he could tell that there was an embarrassing amount of red on his face. this was far from his best first impression.

carl avoided her from then on, realising she might’ve needed some space to adjust to alexandria. maybe he could’ve stared at her less… but he couldn’t help but feel a bit offended by their first encounter, it left a sour taste left in his mouth every time he thought about it. it was both a humiliating and upsetting experience for carl. he didn’t mean to stare at her, he just couldn’t help be a little curious. the only person carl ever saw without an eye was the governor, the reason he refused to wear anything other than a bandage over his eye.

as the other members of the group got more acquainted with alexandria, carl was able to learn more about her - not from her directly of course, but from the other members of her group. he learnt her name was y/n. it was a pretty name, he thought so at least. carl also learnt that she lost her mother recently. that information had him awake for a couple nights, unable to sleep at the recurring thoughts of his own mother’s death. carl understood that pain.

he was slowly understanding why she was so hostile to him. when carl lost his mom, it consumed him. every waking minute was spent hearing her screams on a torturous loop in his mind. that kind of loss makes a person angry at the world and hungry for revenge, sometimes people become blinded by it. he knows he’s had his fair share of moments that he wished he could forget.

there was still the question on how to approach y/n. despite her appalling first impression, he was still curious enough to want to talk to her and clearly observing her from afar was the wrong way to go about it. carl went through multiple different scenarios in his mind, all the different ways he could approach her. more sleepless nights burdened carl’s evenings as he spent them debating with himself over what to say.

one day, he became fed up with thinking about it. his lack of sleep was beginning to show through some passive aggressive comments that rick certainly did not appreciate.

carl marched up to y/n, who was sat on the porch of the house her group had been given. unfortunately, his confidence dissipated the moment he met her eye.

“um-.. i-“ he barely got anything out before y/n interrupted him. she blurted out a question, an uncomfortable expression across her face.

“how did you lose your eye?”

it took carl a few seconds to gather his composure. yet again, another interaction with her that has taken an unexpected turn. at least she didn’t call him a freak this time.

“i got shot.” he doesn’t know what else to say, but he purposefully leaves out anymore detail. it wouldn’t be a good look for alexandria if he said he was shot by an.. ex-resident. there’s an awkward pause and the two just staring at each other. carl can tell there’s something else she wants to ask, but he almost doesn’t want to ask in case she insults him again. he’s rather have some of his dignity intact at the end of their interaction.

it takes y/n an almost unbearable amount of silence to ask, “do you have any spare bandages?”

“um.. yeah, but you could go to the infirmary, we have supplies here- i can show you how to get there if you want?” he’s mostly confused by the question and seeing her wrap her arms around herself in an almost defensive manner furthered his confusion.

“nice try. i’m not leaving the house empty, so someone can come and snoop through our stuff.”

some people took longer to trust alexandria, he understood her current mindset. hell, he’d been there himself.

“look, no one here is after you. it’s not as bad as you think it is and the people here aren’t going to hurt you, if you just give this place more of a chance-“ interrupted yet again.

“i’ve heard this speech from almost everyone here, i don’t need to hear it again.” she was annoyed. this wasn’t going as well as carl wanted it to.

“sorry..” carl mumbles, looking down at the ground in embarrassment. he looks back at y/n and she’s still looking at him. it was slightly unnerving, carl had no idea what to expect from her. another insult, or maybe another personal question.

“i can go get you bandages and come back..?” his voice sounded slightly hesitant, though his offer was genuine.

y/n’s eye narrowed slightly in suspicion, yet carl was unphased by it. he expected her to be guarded, the people she arrived with certainly cautioned the people at alexandria about the attitude she developed.

“really?” she sounded unsure, as if she couldn’t tell if he was being serious.

“sure.. yeah.” he has a small, slightly weary smile on his face that looks more like a wince to y/n.

“okay.” y/n looks down at the ground, her voice becoming quieter as she speaks again, “thank you..”

“yep.” carl spins on his heel and walks away from her, quickening the pace of his walk in the direction of the infirmary. he lets out a deep sigh of relief, it wasn’t going as badly as it could, but he still felt slightly on edge.

“here.” carl tosses each item he retrieved from the infirmary to y/n and she catches them, placing them down in her lap.

“thanks.”

“you’re welcome.” carl smiles hesitantly at her.

“cool..” y/n mumbles, looking down at the roll of bandages, a roll of medical tape and a few plasters.

“have you ever put a bandage over.. your eye? i know i struggled the first few times i had to do it.” carl is reluctant to stop talking to her, strangely she was pleasant to be around when she wasn’t insulting him.

“no, i’ll figure it out though.”

“are you sure? i don’t mind helping you-“

“no.”

“i get it, okay? you don’t trust us yet, but we’re good people. i just want to help, whatever’s under there isn’t anything i haven’t seen before.” carl gains a little more confidence in himself and his words, he stands a bit straighter - he’s determined to prove her wrong about alexandria.

y/n spends a few seconds digesting his words. on the one hand, she could be mean and he’d leave her alone, but on the other hand, she knew she needed help. her mother was the one who tied the bandana over her eye once the wound she had healed. she never took it off after that, but the members of her group began lecturing her about ‘appearances’. the bandana was torn, dirty and even seemed to be charred at some parts.

“come inside.”

carl follows her inside the house. the group had clearly started to decorate their home a bit and carl takes note of the photographs on the wall. unfamiliar faces that he couldn’t recall seeing with the group and he knew why.

“so, how did you lose your eye?” carl asks, following y/n into a bathroom.

“i lost it in a fight with a hungry squirrel.” her voice was nonchalant and carl almost thought she was serious for a second.

he chuckles and stands by the bathroom counter, unravelling the bandages, “you’re funny. how’d you lose it?”

“the world is full of rotten people.”

“not alexandria though, there’s good people here.” carl glances over at y/n as she slowly unties the knot holding the bandana in place around her head. she pulls the fabric away from her face and she turns her head slightly to try shield her eye from carl’s vision.

“you really like it here, huh?” y/n almost sounds bitter about it. he could see why. carl was comfortable, he felt safe in alexandria, but y/n was most likely feeling the opposite.

“yeah, it’s nice here..” carl lifts the bandages and wraps it around y/n’s head to measure the length he would need. using a small pair of scissors he cuts the bandage into a strip long enough to wrap around her head, “i like it at least, it takes some time to get used to though.”

“i got stabbed.. that’s how i lost it.” y/n speaks quietly, looking up at carl once she knew she couldn’t avoid it. he needed to put a plaster over eye, he was going to see it, so she might as well tell the truth.

“people don’t think about it as much as you’d think,” carl speaks as he puts a plaster over her eye, he had seen the damage, “my dad tells me the same thing, but it’s hard to believe someone when their eyes keep going from your eye to.. not your eye.”

y/n laughs. it was more of a chuckle, but it still brought a smile to carl’s face. he didn’t comment about it, but instead revelled in the moment for a few seconds. he worked in silence as he helped y/n secure the bandage over her missing eye. he didn’t mind the silence much, at least now that he knew she didn’t hate him.

“i’m sorry i called you a freak.”

carl smiles at her apology. he didn’t expect her to apologise, but he clearly underestimated her, “it’s water under the bridge.”

he was nice, y/n knew that. it almost felt too nice after the experiences she had with strangers before arriving at alexandria.

“there’s still good people left. i know everything inside you is probably telling you not to trust this place, but it’s safe here.” carl pauses for a few minutes, trying to find the right words to say, “a few people might say some wrong thing, but it’s not on purpose. sometimes.. they just don’t know better, but they mean well...”

“okay.”

“i’m carl by the way.”

“i’m y/n.”

“i know.” the words slip out of carl’s mouth before he can stop himself. the last thing he wanted to do was come across as a creep, “sorry- i just overheard janine talking about you.”

“cool.. thanks for the help.”

carl now has a genuine smile on his face, it didn’t look uncomfortable and forced this time. he nods at her and tidies up the the supplies he used, putting them into the cupboard.

“you know.. there’s gonna be a party.. thing? it’s at the end of the week, but alexandria throws them every time there’s new people..” carl pauses and then continues talking, “it’s not really a party, but the last time they had one here was when me and my group arrived. you should go.”

“i’ll think about it.”

she very obviously didn’t trust him yet, but it seemed like she was trying. her behaviour may come across as abrasive and cold, but it was nothing carl hadn’t seen before. eventually she would have to warm up to him, right?

it was barely midday, yet it had already been a more than eventful day at the campsite. everyone seemed on edge and rightfully so, people were at each other's throats. y/n had the unfortunate luck of getting stuck in the crossfire of all the chaos.

"you've caught us at a bad time, i promise it's not always like this," lori sighed, rubbing a hand over her face in frustration, "we're grateful for the food you brought.. with daryl."

"that's a shame," y/n leaned against a cushion in the back seat of the rv, a smug look on her face, "seems fun here."

lori blinked at the girl, slightly puzzled by her. fun? the world was ending and society as everyone knew it had collapsed and this little girl thinks it's fun? lori nods, deciding to look past her comments, "okay.. dale told me your name's y/n, is that right?"

"mhm," y/n hummed in response, getting comfortable on the cushions, "man, this is way better than sleepin' on a tree."

"you've been sleeping.. in trees?" lori asked, "how long have you been on your own?"

y/n shut her eyes, resting her arms behind her head, getting comfortable in the back of the rv, "the biters can't get ya up there."

lori hummed in acknowledgment, y/n was a smart kid and lori could see that, "can i ask you about your family?"

y/n opened her eyes and stared at lori for a few seconds before responding, "how 'bout you ask me one question and then i get to ask you a question."

lori laughed, "seems only fair, fine then... where's your parents?"

"my dad's in atlanta probably with his buddies or somethin' by now, but i left 'im to go to my mom, she's in the countryside and i've been making my way there."

lori furrowed her eyebrows at the mention of atlanta, "honey... atlanta was bombed.. there's nothin' left there."

y/n squinted her eyes at lori, "you sure?"

"i'm so sorry.." lori gulped, "my son and i were headed to atlanta when this all happened, we never got close since the highway was so packed... then there were bombs. they bombed the entire city, i'm sorry honey."

y/n nodded, taking in the information and let out a sigh, "hm. that's a shame."

"guessin' you didn't have a great home life then?" lori frowned at the girl.

"hey? we agreed only one question, s'my turn now," y/n shot a pointed look at lori, "rick.. your husband?"

"he is," her face fell slightly at the mention of him, he was currently getting ready to go on a rescue mission for a piece of shit, "my turn... let's see... what is... your favourite colour?"

lori raises an eyebrow at the girl with a wide smile on her face. she knew not to touch the subject of her family again and decided to keep the questions lighthearted.

"seriously?" y/n scoffed, "that's your question?"

lori feigned offense at her response and scoffed back at the girl, "well excuse me little miss, you said i could ask anythin' i wanted and right now i'm dyin' to know what your favourite colour is."

y/n chuckled at the woman's enthusiasm, the slight increase in her southern drawl brought a smile to y/n's face. she rolls her eyes at lori, her mouth scrunching up to the side to hide her smile, "i dunno, probably green?"

"guessin' you've been seeing a lot of it nowadays," lori nodded, a soft smile on her face. the kind of smile that only a mother was capable of, it made y/n feel warm seeing it.

"what's daryl's deal?" y/n questions, her face scrunching up at the thought of the man, "seems like an asshole."

"hey, watch your mouth." lori points a finger at the girl.

"sorry, ma'am." the girl's manners were a surprise to lori, she hadn't expected it. y/n was plenty sarcastic and seemed pretty guarded, but she could also be polite and respectful. it confused lori, but she just assumed that y/n's parents were strict on manners.

"it's alright, hon," lori smiled at the girl.

"so what's his deal?" y/n repeats her question, tilting her head, "how do you people know each other?"

"well.. we don't really know each other all that well. shane, rick and my son are the only one's i know from.. well, before." lori explains, fidgeting with the necklace around her neck, "most of us met on the highway, we were all stuck there for a while and eventually we ended up here... as for daryl, no one really knows much about 'im, but he provides for the group, so none of us can complain."

"what about his brother?"

"it's my turn to ask a question," lori chuckles as y/n frowns at her, "how old are you?"

"i'm twelve."

"you're the same age as my son," lori smiles, "and another girl here, carol's daughter."

"cool.." y/n pauses to think of her next question, "what's one thing you miss from before?"

lori chuckled, a few things coming to mind, "oh wow, it'd have to be my phone, i miss texting my friends.. askin' when the next book club was gonna be... probably sounds boring to you, huh?"

y/n smiled at the woman and shook her head, "no ma'am, my mom was the leader of her book club, serious business."

"well, maybe me and your mom could start our own new book club," lori smiled back at y/n. she had to admit that the girl was nice to talk to when she let her guard down and dropped the sarcasm. lori had been given the job of figuring out what y/n's 'deal' was - whatever shane meant by that.

"she always tried to get me to join her meetings," y/n stared at her hands, as she fidgeted nervously, "i used to hate it. i struggle with readin' so.. never liked it, but now i wish i went with 'er more."

lori smiles sadly at the girl, offering a reassuring pat to her shoulder, "i know it may not be the same, but dale's got some books, we could read together one day, until you find your mom that is."

y/n looked up at lori and chuckled, "tryin' to get me to join a book club?"

lori laughs and shakes her head, "can't blame a gal for trying, can you?"

before y/n could respond, the rv door opened and shane stepped inside, "hey.. how's it goin' in here, everything okay?"

"just talking about starting a book club, weren't we y/n?" lori looked at y/n with a smile.

"yes ma'am." y/n nods, her eyes watching shane carefully as he stands by the door. something about him rubbed y/n the wrong way, it was an unexplainable feeling - just something in her gut.

shane nodded back, "okay then, rick's about to leave if you wanna speak with him."

"you gonna be okay for a few minutes, hon?" lori asked y/n, her face scrunched up in concern.

"yes ma'am."

"okay," lori nodded, she didn't take the girl's sudden switch in attitude personally. the two may have been joking and swapping stories previously, but lori understood that y/n may be on guard around people she hadn't yet spoken with, or maybe she was just shy. she was an interesting character to say the least - one she hoped would stick around.

lori left the rv, but shane stayed inside, watching y/n. he had already said his piece to rick, so he had no need to leave.

"y/n, right?" shane raises an eyebrow at the girl, taking a few steps closer to her. the floor of the rv creaks ever so slightly under him.

"yes sir." y/n crossed her arms over her chest, staring back at him intensely, trying to read the man.

"sir?" shane chuckles, running a hand through his hair, "ain't you polite?"

"i can be." y/n hisses.

"okay, okay, i get it, you don't know me so you're a little on edge, i get it," he raised his hands up to show he meant no harm, "just have a few questions for you s'all."

y/n stayed quiet for a few seconds and nodded to tell him to ask his questions.

"you on your own out there?" shane leaned against the door to the toilet, his body blocking the walkway that led to the exit. she knew he did it on purpose, but she hadn't intended on running out anyways, "ain't got no folks out there waiting on you?"

"i'm alone."

he hummed in response, impressed with the fact she had survived, "where's your folks at?"

y/n rolled her eyes and turned to face the window across from her, "is that all you people are gonna ask about?"

shane scoffed, rubbing a hand through his hair, "well excuse me for being curious why a kid's runnin' wild 'round the woods alone like some kid raised by wolves."

"y'know, curiosity killed the cat." y/n turned back to look at shane, shrugging her shoulders.

"how'd you survive out there?" he ignored her previous statement, not wanting to entertain a threat from a little girl.

"slept in places biters couldn't get me. places people wouldn't be lookin'."

"hm. that's smart." shane nodded, "you goin' back to the woods, or you gonna stay here?"

y/n raised an eyebrow, somewhat surprised that her staying at the camp was even on the table at all, "stay?"

"the others are thankful for the food you 'n daryl brought back," shane paused, readjusting his stance to face y/n, "you know how to survive, you're resourceful. that much's obvious. we could use someone like you. besides, i ain't gonna send a kid away."

y/n squinted at the man, looking at the way he held himself. she rolls her eyes at him and asks a question that shane didn't expect, "you a cop?"

shane squinted at y/n, his head tilting to the side, "how'd you guess?"

"the way you're talkin' n' the way you carry yourself," y/n shrugged, she could have guessed with her eyes closed that the man was a cop, she had seen a fair few of them around her father growing up, "i was thinking military earlier, but that chokehold ya had on daryl seemed like you've been wantin' do that for a while.. now you can since the law don't mean nothing now."

shane laughed, "you got some brain in that head of yours."

"ain't got no time to be stupid."

"so you wanna stay or not?" shane repeated his earlier question, "you're free to leave any time."

y/n looked at her hands for a few seconds, debating whether or not she wanted to stay, "might as well, i caught those damn squirrels, it'd be a shame to not eat."

"watch your mouth." shane raises an eyebrow at her language.

"yes sir."

"no need to call me sir, this ain't nazi germany. shane's just fine," shane laughs, shaking his head slightly, "now c'mon out, meet some of the folks here, we won't bite."

y/n let's out a deep sigh. she knew that she'd have to meet the other people, but with how on edge everyone has been since her arrival, despite her not being the cause of the camp's anxiety, she'd rather not talk to any of them.

"hey there again," dale smiled at y/n, crossing his arms over his chest, "what're you up to now?"

"i'm supposed to meet the people at the camp. shane said i should and decide whether i want to stay or not." y/n surveys the campsite whilst explaining her plans to dale, scouting the people she'd have to talk to.

"well are ya gonna stay for dinner at least?" from what dale gathered, y/n was on her own in the woods and he didn't feel right sending a child back out there. not after what he had seen.

"duh," y/n rolled her eyes, "i caught more than half of that, i ain't letting y'all rob me."

dale laughed in response, amused at her words, "well, let me take you to meet everyone then, huh? i'll make sure each conversation is nice and short so you're not stuck listening to people go on and on."

y/n let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes again, "fine, but if i poke your side it means i wanna stop chattin'."

"just pat my arm, no need to poke me kiddo."

"she doesn't act like she's a child. she definitely doesn't act her age at least.." lori muttered, staring at the newest addition to the group from afar. y/n had been sat talking with carl and sophia for a while, so lori kept a watchful eye - she trusted the girl enough to be around her son and she trusted the people at the camp, but she couldn't be too trustful. something about the girl didn't seem right, "it's just the start of all this mess and she's already more mature than she should be..."

"maybe that's a good thing," shane shrugged, "the world's changed, kids gotta toughen up now."

lori let out a sigh, shaking her head, "you don't get what i'm sayin' shane. she's the same age as carl for crying out loud. if she's grown up that fast, it's only a matter of time before carl stops being a kid too," lori brushed her hair out of her face anxiously, "this can't be the world, kids need to be kids, families shouldn't be broken apart- hell, kids shouldn't be armed with weapons, she should barely know how to use a knife like that."

shane rolled his eyes and sighed, "i get it, you don't want your boy to grow up too fast, but it's not a bad thing she knows what she's doin'. could be an asset to us, you seen the haul she 'n daryl got together? we'd never go hungry lori. carl won't go hungry."

lori nodded, acknowledging y/n's skills, "you're right, but i still feel sorry for her, she's clearly on edge around this many people... don't know what she's been through, but it doesn't seem like anything good."

"so... d'ya talk with rick?" shane's arms tensed at his own question.

"we talked," lori nodded, "shane. you have to understand that what we were doing is over. you told me my husband was dead, i didn't know any better."

shane clenched his jaw, tilting his head to the side to pretend he was watching the other people at the camp, "i thought he was dead, okay? i wouldn't lie about that, not rick."

y/n glanced over at lori and shane sat on a log speaking in hushed voices, but she could tell by their body language that neither of the two were happy, or comfortable.

"what's that guy's problem?" y/n gestured over at shane.

"oh, that's shane. he's my dad's friend," carl shrugged, "he saved me and my mom, he's cool."

"seems intense," y/n muttered, looking over at sophia, who just silently fidgeted with her fingers, "you okay?"

sophia looked up from her hands and nodded, a polite smile on her face, "yes.. thank you."

"sophia's not really good with new people, she's shy," carl explained, "there's a few other kids at the camp, but they're with their family right now."

"cool," y/n nodded, wondering when dale was going to return from his bathroom break to relieve her from the awkward conversation with the two kids.

"how did you survive on your own? it's none of my business, but my mom said you were out there alone.. is that true?" sophia asked, her voice meek and cautious, y/n recognised the voice as the one she'd used around her father. instantly y/n had figured sophia out, y/n knew she could trust her.

"started hunting and tracking when i was first able to, i've been doin' that to avoid people and catch dinner," y/n shrugged and readjusted the way she was sat. she sat with her legs crossed on the dirt, the position reminding her of her time at school.

"you were on your own?" carl asks, his eyes wide with amazement.

"yeah."

"that's awesome!" carl grins, admiring y/n's ability to survive on her own.

"awesome?" y/n questioned, frowning at the boy, "you really think that's awesome?"

"uh- i mean... yeah?"

y/n scoffs at carl, her eyebrows furrowing together in frustration at his naivety, "really? awesome? if you had been out there by yourself, you wouldn't think it was awesome. people die out there."

"well, you didn't?" carl responds, unsure why y/n seemed so irritated, he meant what he said as a compliment.

"that's 'cause i know what i'm doing, but i stand just as much a chance as everyone else out there." y/n crosses her arms over her chest, looking back at the rv to see if dale was back yet. he sure was taking his damn time.

"i think you have a better chance than most people.." sophia smiles shyly at y/n. y/n seemed unpredictable and sophia was slightly intimidated by her, but sophia was hopeful that she'd win y/n over and gain a new friend.

"yeah! you can hunt and stuff and you have a bow." carl nods in agreement with sophia. he admired y/n. she was the same age as him, yet she knew things that he didn't. he could learn a lot about survival from y/n if she stayed.

"i've seen people get shot for no reason other than being in the wrong place at the wrong time. i've seen biters tear people's limbs and organs apart. nothing about anything that's happened is awesome. you have to take this shit seriously, or you die. got it?" y/n talks with a serious tone, but keeps her voice down to avoid adults overhearing her.

carl and sophia both share an uneasy look after listening to what y/n said and they both aren't sure how to respond. they're silent, horrified by the thought of what y/n had seen, but luckily dale was back to relieve them from the unnerving conversation.

"hey carl, sophia," dale smiles at the other two children, "i see you've met y/n."

dale takes note of the expressions on carl and sophia's faces. they seem distraught, but they nod in response to dale.

"hey kid," dale taps y/n on the shoulder, "there's something i need your opinion on, follow me?"

y/n nods and stands up from the ground, grateful to have an excuse to leave carl and sophia. she follows dale into the rv and he sits down in the booth, gesturing to the seat across for him for y/n to sit down.

"what happened out there?" dale asks, raising an eyebrow at y/n, "they looked a bit pale, did you.. say something?"

y/n realises that dale didn't need her opinion on anything and she sighs, shrugging her shoulders, "i just told 'em what they needed to hear."

dale's face holds an unamused expression as he looks over at y/n, leaning his arms on the table that separates them, "i know you've probably seen a lot out there during your time alone, but carl and sophia haven't.. you might want to be a little.. sensitive."

"sensitive?" y/n's face scrunches up in disagreement, "i'm just tellin' them how it is. sheltering them does nothing. if anything, it'll just get 'em killed faster."

dale sighs at y/n's response, "what i'm trying to say is that you might scare them."

"good. they should be scared. everyone here should be scared, this ain't some game or family camping trip," y/n scoffs, leaning back in her seat.

before dale could respond to y/n, the rv door opens and lori walks inside.

great. y/n thinks to herself. those little shits ratted on me.

"hey dale, could you give us a minute?" lori smiles at the older man as he leaves the rv. dale was slightly relieved that lori wanted to speak with y/n, he hoped that she would have better luck getting through to y/n.

"hey y/n." lori takes a seat where dale previously was sitting, "how are you liking the camp so far? i hope everyone's been nice to you so far."

"cut to the chase," y/n rolls her eyes, "i know carl ratted me out."

"he didn't rat you out, he's just worried about you," lori smiles nervously at y/n, there really was no beating around the bush with this girl, "apparently you said some things that made him and sophia concerned?"

"they're the ones that said me being on my own was 'awesome'. i was just trying to tell them they were wrong and they shouldn't say stuff like that."

"well, they both are sorry that they upset you, they didn't mean to be insensitive to you," lori pauses, nervously chewing on her lip, "in the future, please don't say things like that to them.. i don't want them to be too scared to sleep.. it's been hard enough recently."

y/n thinks about the countless sleepless nights she's had, the long nights where she feared for her life. oh, but she wouldn't want carl and sophia to struggle with getting to sleep.

"yeah, whatever." y/n was done with the conversation at that point. she had nothing else to say. she did partially feel guilty for saying those things to carl and sophia, it was a little harsh and after all they just wanted to befriend her.

"squirrel's ready to eat, some of the others were cooking whilst rick and the rest left," lori turned towards the door and looked back at y/n, "c'mon before it's all gone."

y/n didn't respond, but she nodded at lori before following her out of the rv.

lori could tell that y/n's demeanor had changed, she was much quieter, but definitely more alert. she observed, or at least that's what y/n had been doing whilst they ate - not once did y/n's eyes stop watching the other people around her.

"you don't have to be on guard here, you know that right?" lori whispered, rubbing y/n's back softly. y/n flinched from the touch, but didn't push her away. lori takes note of how y/n's body stiffens at her touch and takes note of it, her reaction confirming the thoughts lori had been having about y/n and her life before.

"you always gotta be alert," y/n shrugged, staring at ed with a frown on her face, "you figure people out faster that way."

"figure out people? what do you mean?" lori's face scrunched up in confusion.

"my dad was a lot like ed," y/n looked up at lori, "i'm guessing that's sophia's dad."

"y'know, you could've been a really good detective." lori complimented her, "what were the clues?"

"i figured carol was her mother, i saw carol and ed together - my mom and dad were like them before they split up..." y/n sighed, "i was like sophia when i was younger."

"she's your age, y/n?" lori chuckled.

"i know, but i..." y/n rolled her eyes at her own words and sighed, "i don't know what i'm saying forget about it."

"i know we just met, but there's not many other people around nowadays, so we'll have plenty of time to get to know each other, if you do stay that is", lori shrugged, attempting to make y/n feel like she had a choice whether she left or not, though lori wasn't so keen on letting a child leave a safe place with adults. lori didn't want y/n to feel caged in, "you can talk to me whenever you want about anything you want, okay hun?"

y/n nodded and went back to people watching, "this fire should be put out soon, you keep it up any longer biters will show up, or people."

lori nodded and passed the information onto shane. y/n remained at the fireplace, watching people like she had been doing before.

sophia slipped away from her mother's side and sat down next to y/n in front of the fire, "hi again.."

y/n glanced at sophia from the corners of her eyes, "hi."

"i'm sorry about carl..." she sighs, "it's been so long since there was a new kid at the camp, we were just happy..."

y/n smiles a little, trying to reassure sophia. the last thing y/n wanted was to make her feel like she did anything wrong, "it's okay sophia."

"no problem..." she smiled back nervously, "you must be pretty brave though, right?"

y/n frowned at sophia and tilted her head to the side, "no. i hid the entire time i was on my own. that's not brave."

sophia shook her head and smiled, "if i was on my own, i don't think i'd survive."

"you would," y/n replied almost a little too quickly, "don't say that."

"i guess being on your own makes you a pretty good liar too, huh?" sophia giggles, making y/n laugh.

"shut up, i'm serious."

"i'm glad there's a girl my age here now.. i was getting bored of just talking to carl," sophia whispered, "we're going to have so much fun."

y/n smiled at sophia, she didn't get mad by her words like she had at carl earlier. she figured the two hadn't seen anything yet. never saw a man get torn apart in front of them. never seen another kid get shot point blank. none of it. they had been shielded from it all and as much as she felt it was unfair, she didn't want to be the one to ruin their outlook on life. they still had hope. she wasn't going to take that away from them.

who knows, maybe y/n could allow herself to be a kid for just a bit longer. there were a few capable people at camp that could protect her. maybe she could allow herself to befriend sophia.