#car'son

oh my god OKAY TADPOLES IT IS

Cyrelle was always a climber.  There wasn’t much in the way of furniture to clamber over in her parents’ tiny apartment, which meant there was a lot of running off into Coruscant’s grubby pipe systems—which she was very much not allowed to do but since when did that ever stop anyone

Pallon was one of those kids where they’d eat a paNTRY FULL OF FOOD AS SOON AS YOUR BACK IS TURNED.  Which doesn’t work so well with a dirt-poor mirialan family living in the Coruscant slums, and took Cyrelle taking him aside and Carefully Explaining Things since his parents seemed reluctant to talk about it, after which he dutifully joined their efforts of trying to make it all last the month

Sometimes he can feel what it does to him.  Sometimes, the euphoria of seeing pain vanish from another's face can't quite distract him from the glowing cold inside, yawning wider and deeper each day, threatening to take him when he closes his eyes--some nights he refuses to, staring at the ceiling as the midnight minutes tick by.  He can feel it wait for him in the dark, hear its silence lurking past the music of the Force as he meditates.  

He tells himself it doesn't frighten him.  He was never a good liar.

Yet there's always enough strength left for one more time.  Look at them, they're hurting so much more than me--  (the void takes a little more, and tugs at his mind as he sleeps)

every single relic

(jedi knight spoilers)

ahahaa okay this is gonna get embarrassing

Car’son was originally Carson Regault, apostate elf mage.  I was in a dying Dragon Age journal RP at the time, and kept thinking of character concepts or looking out for PBs.  So when I watched Thor and got all infatuated with Tom Hiddleston (yes, I am one of those) it was all HEY THAT WOULD MAKE A PERFECT MAGE PB.  I might have stolen the kicked puppy act too, and played it straight instead of having it as a front because that is my weakness of weaknesses okay

But yes.  At the time I was 1000% done with the journal RP and just wrote threads privately with dangerkittyn/Tamara’s Dragon Age characters instead.  Carson was an elven Circle mage who was bad with healing magic but earnestly wanted to be able to heal people, and tried to study ways to do so without magic.  Borrowing heavily from mygoodrabbit’s headcanon about how limited non-magic medical knowledge is in Thedas, Carson’s sources and methods of learning this were really shady: Andrasteans burn their dead so bodies to dissect and study would have to be stolen, and the most accurate anatomical studies came from books on necromancy.  Eventually the templars started catching wind of this and suspected him of blood magic, and Carson feld the tower before they could make him Tranquil.  

Car’son the Jedi’s version of playing with fire, so to speak, is his obsession with learning about both/all sides of the Force and secret refusal to limit his learning to just Jedi teachings.  And like mage!Carson, he refused to let his skills be limited to his Force/magic affinity.  And abilities like Noble Sacrifice and elements of the LS Act 1 JC storyline fit his willingness to risk his life and health to heal other people it was like the story was written for him.