Yeah last time I skipped GD and BB because I couldn't justify the prices for the tickets (seriously the YG artists always were literally double the price of anyone else who came back in the day and it was already super expensive for kpop acts to come out to begin with) but I went to see TY recently ish and I also earn my own money now and rarely leave the house and pretty much stopped going to cons for, tactfully speaking, ethical reasons so GD was part nostalgia part collecting the set (so I guess I should buy my Dae tickets soon...). The ticketing for TY and GD were both extremely wtf but for some reason for GD I got so so lucky recently but now I have to logistics.

I appreciate the general good career vibes from you both!! I was a huge academic weapon back in the day and everything felt so breezy and right and anything I wanted I could do but then I felt like I was losing myself and my internal compass was mega broken and that really destroyed a lot of the ease of things I used to be able to do without even thinking. Used to be an avid reader and now can barely make it to the end of a sentence without almost dissociating. Used to be measured and articulate and now sometimes words would fail me mid sentence. I know I can't go back to uni without it destroying me so I went straight to work and through sheer luck and tenacity bounced my way up but my current role despite being the closest to a career role than anything else, hasn't actually been able to give me any of the industry standard technical skills for me to even get an "equivalent" role elsewhere which is part of the problem and also the vibes are just... not right.

My current dilemma is the knowledge that I have to go but not really knowing where to, which wouldn't normally have been a problem for me, but the process of resumes, interviews, applications and the huge uncertainty of whether the next place will be a good fit just has me dead. I actually overstay at places so when I "decide" to leave "officially" in my head I would have mentally clocked out ages ago and the role or situation (cough uni cough) would have to be actively killing me to a degree that even I can't justify anymore. Current job pays decent money considering my lack of "real" qualifications and what I'm ending up doing day to day (lack of input from management until there's an error means I feel like I'm just creating a day full of busywork rather than real work...), a job my previous manager texted me after seeing I was serious about potentially leaving is even more money but I'm just not so sure it's good for me. It's the closest thing to an option I have right now so I think I'll just apply and see how I go and if it sucks at least my resume will already be done lol but if it truly sucks it will just put me in even more of a time crunch to exit that next place and I'll just take another critical hit to my already fragile mentality.

I know that given time and the right supportive environment I can do well pretty much anywhere in any role but like if it's not a good environment then suddenly all my skills go poof. It's like if I'm sad or upset or anxious suddenly I can't do anything lol but if I'm thriving mentally and emotionally then any job is getting great value for money, and I'm not even a bragger, I promise 😭

It's also super hard for me to gauge what a job is "really" going to be like day to day. Like I'm sure for most people they see lawyers as arguing in court all the time and high power political moves and slick outfits but I'm fairly confident there's also mountains of paperwork, cases can take years to move and most cases are probably very routine. Which honestly, if that's the case, would kind of appeal to me. Just tonnes of research and investigation in the background and someone else can take that information and do something with it.

I fully get companies have to have kpis and standards of work to measure how much value they get out of their employees and for benchmarking etc but my brain doesn't function kpi wise lol just give me a clear giant list of possible tasks and even the tasks that seem kind of impossible will get done. It's a little funny because I've bounced around a bunch of "entry level and entry level adjacent" roles and every time someone has taken a chance on me they seem so horrified that I'm not doing something "better" but that's not really what I care about. Like one day someone in a position of "better" managed to give me my current opportunity and whilst I'm grateful, there are some things that have happened that have shifted my mindset on staying. (Like uh... forcibly changing my reporting line to people that do not care for me the way the person who originally gave me a shot did lol- I owe nothing to the new "team", used loosely because they don't treat me the way I would like to be treated).

I'm not actually worried about "stable career" as much as most people are, and in fact most people are trying to convince me not to quit because this is considered a "good stable job" but for me I know I can do well as long as conditions are good so job security and stability is not really a Huge Concern but it's just the internal broken compass thing where I can't steer myself which is hurting me the most.

In some ways that's probably why I liked the main character of the NJ story so much. There was just an air of inevitability, of being able to do the job competently and in theory being supported and given the tools needed to succeed and THRIVE but instead just kind of left hanging to SURVIVE as if it's just another regular Tuesday, a non-event, expected to exceed expectations whilst also just casually fending off threats and danger as if it's not even worth mentioning.

Also I fully realise I've just wall of texted so I'm actually going to come off anon for your convenience 🤣. Thanks for letting me talk it out, please do let me know if I ever overstay my welcome.

The gasp I just gasped when I saw both your username and your POCHACCO PFP OHMYGODDDDDDDDD (I love that lil guy so much)🥺🩷👐 In the most consensual, sane, and loving way possible, many smooches on your forehead🥰 This is so exciting that you came off anon! Can we call you Star or is there another name you’d prefer??? We are so open to your preferences!

I see we are approaching the monthly mark for a drop and it feels strange of me to be back again 😂.

Sorry for drowning your blog in ✨️me✨️ when your readers are here for... whichever fandom drop is happening... though considering your recent wip post...🤔🤔🤔. Double sorry cos it's mostly just me rambling about my life 😄 but odds are I'll be back with commentary with whatever the next drop is so it won't just be the blog owners and a random anon's life story🤣 though I don't really have a problem coming off anon either.

Feeling a little down and anxious today and really feeling lost in life career wise but also as a 2nd gen girlie I caved and I'll be going to see GD!!!

Plz give me the strength, direction, confidence and anxiety-less of the main characters of your recent works and it's so over for everyone 😩😩😩 failing that I'm looking forward to the next episode of escapism

omg hiiii bestie!!! Always a joy hearing from you!🥰 Please come talk to us as much as you like— we always welcome sweeties here!🩷

You don’t have to come off anon if you don’t want to! You can pick a name or emoji or whatever makes your heart go kung chi pak chi🤩✌️✨

ALSO GIRL HAVE AN ABSOLUTE BLAST AT GD!!! That’s genuinely such a win. THE VIBES ARE GOING TO BE IMMACULATE!!! It’s going to be a life-giving adventure and it’ll be a nice breather/mental reset moment! As someone who is also doing some silly goofy career bullshit rn, I feel you, I relate to you, and I am passing on my magical girl your mother warned you about mindset to aid you in your journey!😉🩷✨ You absolutely have the intelligence, confidence, skillset, drive, experience, problem solving skills, and whatever tf else it is those AI resume scanners are looking for! As long as you believe it (dattebayo😔✊), you can force that reality.

I’m gonna be so for real and fully admit that my brain is ✨fucking unintelligible✨ so like, I can’t advise reading into my sporadic non-fic posts. Most of the time I don’t even know what I’m posting each month (which Fen adores that about me), but like, sometimes our scheduled fics are the ones we write at 2am bc a really funny concept spawned right as we were finally falling asleep😘

That said, our June post was Mea Culpa, so tragically no fic on Monday🥺 BUT July post is well underway so you have that to look forward to, plus there might be some other content to tide you over! Maybe from Fen, maybe from your magical girl… or maybe BOTH🤩

Once again, always a delight to hear from you, lovely!!!

With affection and sparkles,

Peachesndreams

Passing the mic to Fen now!🥰

Hello hello! I do not always directly respond to anons but I am always an appreciative audience of Peaches's readings of the anon messages, and I so appreciate you engaging with us!

Also have THE BEST TIME at G-Dragon!!! Peaches and I were so close to going to one of his One of a Kind Tour dates back in the day but, like, the stars didn’t align in the end with travel. I am living vicariously! Come tell us all about it after!

And then some big girl advice from me, perhaps unsolicited but: dude, none of us know what the hell is going on with jobs right now. Like, you will find something that fits your vibe. It may not even be the next job you get, but it’ll give you new skills to bring into your next role that might be it for you! So, so seriously: I’m on my (technically) fifth year in the legal field and I actually hate going to court and fighting with people so I’m picking up new skills outside of my job to completely switch fields while still making use of my JD. Everything is changing all the time— personal circumstances, interests, skills, the economy, the outlook of your chosen field— so embrace the change and move with the current. We all get a little lost sometimes, even those of us who thought we were making decisive moves towards what we wanted (obviously not talking about myself or anything…). You aren’t alone with that directionless feeling; we will all encounter it many times over our lives, but it’ll be okay. The only constant really is change! (I also live in eternal awareness of how preachy I can be, so feel free to ignore my philosophizing lol. The Namjoon kin in me lives strong and true.)

Anyway— sending you all the good vibes and feral determination to relish life and do what you want! 💙