#camfee

Red - Trix / @bloomingmeitrix Green - Camfee

Camfee sat in the cell with his head hung low. Solitary confinement. Padded observation room, with a camera embedded in the ceiling so it couldn’t be ripped apart. Handcuffs around his wrists.

He sat with a curled, angry posture. His hair is curly and about chin length, tickling at a beard that needs to be shaven. The eyes are impossible to make out, as he stared intently at the floor.

When Trix walked in, he did not move to greet her. Nor lunge at her. Rather, he moved further away, closer into his blank white cell.

Trix closes the door behind her, sweeping her hair out of her eyes. She holds a notebook with her this time, and a pen.

“Hello. Camfee Turing, right?” she smiled, that same smile she uses to greet coworkers and interviewees, friendly and warm but definitely practiced.

“I understand that our circumstances of meeting aren’t exactly the most favourable, but how are you?” an unnecessary pleasantry that Trix is fully aware won’t be returned. She takes a seat across from him, far away enough to not be deemed “a threat” but close enough for Camfee to probably shrink further into his corner.

Shrink away he did. Shrink away silently. His surroundings would’ve suggested Camfee to be quite the violent man, but his mannerisms said the opposite. Camfee’s chest heaved with every breath he took, and his eyes flickered between the ground and Trix. They were bright blue.

Trix watched Camfee. He couldn’t be much younger than she is. Around the age she started her job.

“...I want to help your sister, Camfee.” maybe this approach would work better, though considering what happened, it was risky. “I promised her I would. But to do that, I need information. Could you give me that?” Trix dropped her smile slightly, eyes looking around the room.

“Hmm. I didn’t think they would put you in such a room, you don’t appear to be… well, never mind.” Trix shook her head. She was determined to not give away more than she has to while getting what she wants.

After all, you never know who’s listening.

When the word ‘sister’ left Trix’s mouth, Camfee’s head shot up, He immediately locked eyes with her, shifting from sitting cross legged to propping himself up on his knees. Camfee was tall, and had more muscle to his bone. Quite a bit, actually. “You’ve spoken to my sister?” he said.

Scars traced up his neck and his face, pulling half of his mouth into a snarl. They were the branches that resembled electric shock scars, pulling at his flesh. When that had happened couldn’t have been too long ago from how angry they were, pink and irritated. “You’ve spoken to- no! No, no, damn it!”

He shouted, head whipping back and forth. “DAMN IT! Get me out of here, I need to see her. I need to-”

Trix, admittedly, flinched. She didn’t expect that fast of an attitude change.

“Please, Camfee—Mr. Turing, please stop.” she pleaded against the shouting. She didn’t raise her voice, though her tone was firm.

“Yes, Ca-Mr. Turing. I’ve spoken to Ellen. I said I would get you on the phone with her, but well… that doesn’t seem entirely possible.” Trix pulled one of the gold bobby pins out of her bangs and repinned it in place again.

“Camfee. You will see your sister. I will find a way to make that happen. But they won’t let you if you don’t comply with them.” Yet another promise that Trix has added to her long list of ones to fulfill. “If you continue to not do so, you risk losing your chance to see her at all, ever again is my guess.” she said somberly.

“Now. Could you tell me what exactly happened to Ellen?”

Almost immediately, the man stilled. He was listening with wide eyes, lips moving but no sound coming out. Then, he said- “I’m not talking about Ellen. I want to talk about you. How did you talk to her?” he demanded.

Well. Fair enough, what did she expect with being so straightforward? Maybe emotions were getting in the way after all. She’s usually better at this…

“Me?” Trix paused. “She made a Tumblr account, and I found it. I sent asks, and she replied. Simple.”

Fine. She can tell Camfee something, if it would help get her his trust.

He huffed, and lowered his head. “...oh. That’s a lot- hah. That’s not what I expected you to say. So she’s stable, then? She isn’t- she isn’t as scared?”

Camfee shifted side to side. He still seemed… unstable… but at least he was talking now. That was miles better than the shouting from earlier, and, according to his file, much more progress than anyone had made with him in the past week.

Oh dear. How should she answer… truthfully, or with a white lie? Some compromise between the two, like the lives she holds delicately in balance?

“She… was quite scared at first, but I don’t think she’s as scared now, no. Especially since I promised I would get you to visit.” Trix clicked her pen, then clicked it again. “She keeps asking for you, Camfee. She misses you a lot.”

What she wouldn’t give to properly help these two. But that’s what she’s trying to do, isn’t it?

He seemed guilt stricken, paling and his body settling. 

Quiet. Eerie quiet. Then- “...I miss her too. God knows I do. But I can’t talk to you about her. If you have anyone you love, I’m sure you understand.”

“...” Well, can’t say she didn’t expect that.

“I… yes, I do.” Trix looked down, red and brown eyes trained on her notebook for a moment in silence.

“Then… how about yourself?” a change of direction in the conversation as she looked back up. “You were in university before all this, right? Could I ask what you were majoring in?” May as well make conversation in the time slot she booked instead of wasting it all in silence. Sure, she could leave and be productive, but it’s all paperwork today. Nothing interesting, which is quite unfortunate.

Camfee nodded. “I was studying environmental science. I always liked to go outside, it was. Mm. A hobby of mine.” Clearly, there was more to be said than that. Camfee was choosing his responses quite carefully.  “Excellent university. I would’ve loved to finish a degree out from there.”

It was so much like a game of chess, both players careful and restrained. If Trix played right, she could gain his trust. She was good at chess, she could do this.

“Environmental science because you liked going outside? Mm, fair enough.” she smiled slightly. She didn’t believe that was the whole truth in the slightest for a moment. “I majored in journalism. Could you tell?” Trix chuckled. “I like stories, what can I say?”

Trix sighed, leaning forward with her hand on her chin and elbow propped up on her knee. “Did you intend to go into something related to the environment after graduation, then?”

 A small shrug. “I was going to move back home so El- my sister could move in with me and figure out what she wanted to do for herself. And then I would’ve done what it takes to support that.”

His gaze unfocused as he stared blankly at a wall. The spot on the wall looked exactly the same as the floor. Or the ceiling. Or any other part of the wall. “I don’t know how long I’ve been in here,” he said. “But I haven’t seen outside in quite a while. A very long time.”

Like a dog trapped in a cage… Trix felt bad for him, frankly. Who wouldn’t? Then again, she’s been feeling terrible about all this since she first came across Ellen’s blog. How on earth did this all happen? When did she become so sympathetic? She’s tried to train herself to be cold and distant. That was what her job demanded from her, wasn’t it? She can’t mourn all the terrible things she’s seen, she simply doesn’t have the time for that. From Camfee’s words, she could infer some information. Perhaps a turbulent household? Or maybe simply just a brother caring for his younger sister’s future and autonomy.

“...” It had indeed been a long while. If this kept up any longer, she guessed it would very well drive him completely over the edge. She’s seen that happen before, much as she hated it. What can she do…? Empty apologies mean nothing, so it’s pointless to offer them. Hollow reassurances don’t work either…

…They’re practically kids. Well, one is a kid, and the other barely introduced to adulthood. What a cruel hand fate has dealt them.

“...There’s a garden not far away from here,” Trix hesitantly started. “It’s small, but it’s got some sun and a flowerbed. I could… find a way to get you there.” she paused. “No catch, don’t worry.”

It would help Ellen if her brother was happy, right? If her brother behaved and proved he could be trusted, maybe she could get Ellen a phone and let them call each other. Then… then she could sleep at night, and cross off one more promise on her never-ending list.

Camfee’s breath caught. “There’s a garden nearby?” he asked quietly. “I… would like to see it. I would really like to see-” His voice broke. “See the sun again.”

Shoulders trembled with barely repressed sobs. Camfee curled tighter around his stomach, heaving for air. “I- why am I freaking out?” he half laughed. “This shouldn’t be- I haven’t…”

By now, Trix had long since stopped smiling. Her notebook laid half-closed, her pen clicked shut. Both eyes were trained on the young man, even though only one of them could see him.

“Yes, there is. It’s very close by, actually.” She knew exactly why Camfee was freaking out, she remembers the science behind it. Isolation and torture did that to people. Besides, lack of vitamin D was also pretty bad on its own. “It’s still within these properties, technically. So… hopefully, I can pull some strings to get you a short visit.” ‘As long as you cooperate,’ she added in her head, but didn’t say aloud.

She gave him silence and space to freak out a little. It was understandable.

God, the secretary was going to look at her weird for this, wasn’t she? If her supervisor doesn’t call her in for a meeting about her actions right after this, that is… she really wasn’t supposed to be this amicable. She was supposed to be professional. But no, she’s not that right now. She doesn’t want to be a journalist, she just wants to be a kind someone.

What wouldn’t she give to be like that. A faceless but kind stranger who could help unconditionally, without fear of “crossing a line”. Unfortunately, she chose this path, and she will see it to the end.

“Please,” Camfee said seemingly without even thinking about it. “I really- I want to be outside again. I haven’t been in- at least a month. Two, maybe? Please…”

He was shaking harder and harder. The words started flowing out now, faster than you would have thought. “I was stuck in there with her for so long- it felt like so long. I didn’t leave because she couldn’t-” His voice broke, now barely understandable. “Couldn’t leave, so I didn’t want to leave until I fixed things. And now I’m not with her, and I’m not outside either. So it’s kind of like I never left? I know it’s not going to do anything to help her, but I just want to feel the sun again.”

Oh. It seems like that did the trick, though unintentionally. Well, she’ll take the opportunities she gets. Trix was feeling an increasing amount of pity for Camfee. Was this what that guy meant when…? No, can’t think about that now. Look where he ended up for that.

‘Am I inching too close to the edge of what’s acceptable already?’ Trix wondered how much she can push the rules before she actually broke them.

“Yeah. Yeah, alright. I’ll uh, ask around after I leave.” she took out her phone to check the time. Not that much left. “Fix things…? Like what?” Trix frowned. What did that mean? Ellen did talk a lot about how Camfee could fix “everything”, but she had no idea what that entailed.

A Tumblr notification popped up, the text on her phone large enough to be seen by Camfee, probably to relieve the eye fatigue she must get when she uses her phone for long periods of time. It was from Ellen’s blog. Trix turned her phone over and placed it on the floor beside her.

“Fix-” He stopped speaking and lunged forward, looking as though he was grabbing for the phone but forgot that his hands were cuffed behind his back. Camfee fell forward, and his jaw slammed into the padded ground. He grunted and wriggled, but was ultimately off balance enough he couldn’t get up. 

Camfee looked up at Trix. “I saw her name,” he said. “I saw her name, I saw the app, that was- that was it, wasn’t it? That was her. Was that her?! Answer me!” 

Trix yelped when Camfee suddenly lunged, practically jumping out of her own skin as she scootched back. Dear god, this guy… the fact she had no depth perception really didn’t help her gauge how close she was to getting hurt.

“Eek! Are you alright?!” she held her notebook and pen close to her, shaken. “Huh? The… oh, uh… yeah, it was.” Trix hesitantly confirmed.

“... Do you uh, wanna talk to her?” she looked up at the camera in the corner, knowing full well that she would probably get punished later for this. As if this appointment wasn’t hard enough to get, she just had to go and be humanitarian too. Who was she to say she can help him get to the garden? She didn’t have the authority to have a say in anything, yet she felt compassionate. Why was she feeling compassion? Usually she could distance herself enough to not feel much of anything. So why…

“...” she forced herself to refocus on her red and white phone case, painted with her favourite flowers. Plum blossoms. “You could uh… send an ask to her, if you want. Turn on anonymous and sign off with your name. I’m sure she’d be glad to hear from you, even if it’s just this once.” Yep, she was so going to get in trouble later for this, wasn’t she?

But if it helps, so be it. Whatever it takes, she was sure she could bear the consequences.

He cried. Immediately. Once Trix even loosely implied that Camfee could speak to Ellen, he burst into sobs. He nodded over and over, moving his arms like he wanted to break free from the handcuffs. “Please,” he said. “Please. Can- can I type? Or do you have to type for me? Please… I need her to know that I’m- that I’m sorry. That I love her. She needs to know I love her and I’m so, so sorry.”

Dear god, her heart was breaking for the poor man. Putting her notebook and pen to the side, she took her phone and opened Tumblr.

“I’ll have to type for you. What do you want to say?” God, he was probably suffering in those handcuffs. She could see how the metal cut into his skin, reddened from struggle. She was already risking a lot right now, not to mention asking about the garden. To ask for the keys to the handcuffs would just be the cherry on top to making sure she could never talk to the Turings ever again.

He seemed to think very long and very hard about what to say. Then,

“It’s Camfee. I love you.” Camfee sobbed, but kept speaking. “I’m safe right now. Just lost. Trying to get back to you, I promise. I still love you. I won’t leave you alone forever.”

Trix typed out the message on her phone and hit send anonymously before putting her phone back in her pocket. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves. Inevitably, this was going to be met with reprimands, but she didn’t care. She’s made up her mind.

She’ll do whatever it takes to get the Turings a meeting.

“Alright. Uh, she might not reply immediately. Gonna have to wait for that.” Trix said, glancing at the sobbing and shaking Camfee. She wasn’t sure that she could get any more information anymore. He didn’t seem to be in the right mind for it.

“Well, I think my time here’s up. Thank you for your time, Mr. Turing.” Trix turned her head towards her notebook and pen, pausing a moment to guess how far they might be before grabbing them. Her deduction was correct, as it is most of the time. “I’ll be going now. Good day.” Trix started walking towards the door, short heels clicking quietly across the bare floor.

“Thank you,” Camfee said. He was still shaking, shuddering, making noises as if he were about to get sick.

Right when Trix turned to close the door, he heard a tumblr notification go off. 

The door locked before he could ask to know if it was her.