The elevator doors opened with a soft chime that sounded almost obscene in the silence.

Calum guided me out with a hand that never left me, steering me down the hall like he already knew I was too far gone to resist the pull of him. Everything about him felt restrained in the most dangerous way, like he was holding something vicious on a leash and I was the only one close enough to hear it breathing. When we stepped inside the apartment, the door shut behind us with a heavy click that made something low and reckless unfurl in my stomach.

He turned, eyes on me, dark and unreadable. Then he lifted one hand and pointed toward the bedroom. "First, strip." Calum demands. "Right here."

I look up at him, eyes full of need as I watch a smirk curl his mouth. I slowly lift the sweater above my head and unbuckle my jeans. The air feels cool, clinging to my exposed skin. Calum nods his head as I fumble with the straps of my bra. I let out a small gasp as the air hardens my pink nipples. Calum teeth graze his bottom lip, staring down at my laced white underwear that is clearly soaking.

"Give them to me. I want to feel how wet I make you. Such a desperate little cock whore. Soaking her underwear without me even having to touch her." He mocks, his tone laced with lust.

I moan, having the laced material slide down my wobbling thighs. I lift up my legs and shimmy out of them. I bend down, my hands shaking as I reach for the underwear. Calum snickers, grabbing it before me and bringing it up to his nose. He inhales deeply, his shoulders relaxing.

"Fucking amazing. You smell so fucking good." Calum shoves them in his pocket. "I've been bad. I haven't given my pussy any attention all week." Calum walks closer to me, closing the gap between us. "Have you touched yourself thinking about me, little one?"

I gulp. "Yes."

Calum flips me around and before I can register what he is doing, I feel a sharp pain against my ass. "Yes, what?" Calum asks.

I can't help but love the sting. It ignites something inside me that I can't place. "Yes, Calum?"

Another spank.

"It's sir, June." He corrects, aggressively turning me back to face him.

I nod my head in agreement, excited eyes attentive on the hard wooden floor. I feel the intense touch of Calum's dominance as he pulls my hand and drags my bare self into the bedroom. The light is borrowed from the city's vibrancy that splashes behind the large window. Calum lays on top of me, restainting my wrist as his covered toned body towered over me. The physical restriction makes my heart skip a beat. Why do I love this so much? I lift my hips up, desperate for his touch. Calum moves his mouth to my breasts. His tongue eagerly flicks against my nipples and bites them, eliciting a shout of pleasure from me.

"I bet I could make you cum just like this." Calum states, his tone heavy with desire.

He's probably right.

Calum presses his lips against mine, his tongue sliding in between the gap of my mouth. The kiss grows intense, our mouths colliding with each other to make a perfect harmony of lust and need. Our tongues slid against each other, his teeth grazing along my lower lip. Calum bites down till I feel the warm liquid slide into my mouth.

He's drawing blood. The feeling sends a new rush of excitement down my legs. I whimper, desperate for him to move his hands further down my body. It's as if he can sense it. Calum's strong, calloused hands dip down to my hips. Our kiss breaks as I watch Calum bring his hand to my swollen pussy.

"Open those legs."

I comply, my legs shake in anticipation as I spread them apart. He licks his lips, gently pressing a finger into my needy hole. I gasp as he pushes further, moving his finger around before he added another. He stayed there. No pulling out and thrusting back in. No tension. Just pure teasing.

"Please." I beg, my bottom lip quivering.

"Please what?" Calum taunts, a devious smile painted across his face.

"Please Sir!" I beg. "Please move them. Better yet just please fuck me!"

Calum pulls his fingers out and I release a cry of annoyance out through my trembling lips. Impatiently, I follow Calum's movements as he steps back. Slowly, he unbuckles his black leather belt and throws it on top of me. The harsh feeling of the metal sends a shiver down my spine.

"Put your wrist together."

want to read the rest? press here : https://www.wattpad.com/1601064585?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_reading&wp_page=reading&wp_uname=emrosefitzgerald

A/N: Another request is done! Happy reading folks!

He nervously taps his fingers against the steering wheel while stealing glances over at you. What was wrong with you? Why were you being so quiet? Why were you sitting so far away? He doesn't remember doing anything to make you angry and he hasn't forgotten any important dates. So, why are you sitting in the passenger seat, facing away from him, and sitting quietly? What could he have possibly done? Usually, your fingers are intertwined with his, or your hand is on his thigh. Usually, you're singing along to your favorite song on the radio. However, today for some reason you haven't touched him, and you've been silent since you got in the car. He clears his throat causing you to finally look over at him before shooting him a small smile and returning your gaze to the window. Finally, he decides to speak up.

"Are we going to talk about what I did to piss you off or..."

"What do you mean?" you ask, turning to face him.

"What do you mean, what do I mean? You! You're being all silent and distant and stuff, so I must have done something to make you angry. Usually you're all happy with your singing alone to the radio and touching me. Today, you haven't spoken a word since we got in the car and you're sitting as far away from me as possible, so what's wrong?"

"I'm not angry and nothing's wrong. Should something be wrong?" you ask.

Calum shrugs, "I don't know but you're clearly angry about something because you only give me the silent treatment when you're mad."

You're silent causing him to glance over at you, his eyes meeting yours.

"Well..."

"Well, what?"

"Well, what's wrong?" he asks.

"Do I seem like something is wrong?" you ask.

"No, but..."

You shake your head, "Calum, I'm fine. Nothing is wrong. I'm just...content."

"You're never content," he says.

"Hey!"

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm just saying you always feel things in a big way. Like you're always super happy or super sad or super angry."

"Well...today I'm content," you say, turning back to face the window.

"Love..."

"Calum..."

"Just tell me what's wrong so I can fix it," he says.

"Calum, there is nothing wrong. I'm fine, okay?"

He glances over at you," okay."

While he said okay, he still wasn't convinced that you weren't mad at him for some reason. Which causes him to keep stealing glances at you while you fiddle with the radio.

"Calum, I can feel you staring."

"I'm sorry, I just..."

"Think something is wrong?" you finish for him.

"Well, yeah. You've been silent for almost this whole drive, and haven't touched me once. Normally, you're like holding my hand and singing at the top of your lungs."

"Have you ever thought that maybe I'm not in the mood?"

"You're not in the mood to touch me?"

"Yeah, I'm content with keeping my hands to myself."

"That's bull. You're always in the mood to touch me. Just like I'm always in the mood to touch you. We're a very touchy couple."

"We're a touchy couple?" you say.

"Yep."

You shake your head at him, "whatever you say, babe."

You return your gaze to the window again and it only takes a moment before Calum is once again clearing his throat.

"For the love of...if I touch you will you stop asking me if something is wrong?" you ask.

"Yes."

You roll your eyes before grabbing Calum's hand and intertwining your fingers with his.

"Happy?" you ask.

"Extremely. You?" he asks.

"I'm annoyed because my fiancé wouldn't leave me alone until I held his hand," you say.

"Wow, he sounds like a real pain in the ass," he says.

"He is," you say.

"Hey!"

"I'm kidding," you laugh.

He shoots you a wink before kissing the back of your hand, "I know and besides it takes one to know one."

"I take it back, I wasn't kidding. You are a real pain in the ass," you laugh.

"But I'm your pain in the ass," he says.

So this is what I’ve been working on! I’m finishing part 2 as I post this. I really hope y’all like this, it’s been super fun to write and I haven’t posted any new writing in a loooooooong time- so please let me know what you think! <3 

Part one does not contain any smut, part 2 will 100% be smut lol. 

WARNING: This contains mature language and subject matters, 18+ please!!

__________________________________________

                               PART ONE

 “Cal!” An excited voice called from across the large patio.

Calum’s head whipped around while his eyes searched the scantily-clad crowd at one of this month’s industry networking events the label requested he attend. He had to admit, this was one of the more amusing ones, a themed pool party with a barbeque style spread. With that signature phony, ostentatious LA touch to it, of course. This is the kind of thing Calum typically steered clear of in the past; less so since officially uprooting his life to Los Angeles and being conditioned by his band’s record label to make appearances at gatherings like this on a regular basis. His eyes finally landed on his target and his lips curled up instantly—the melodic voice that had called out his name over the masses of valleyspeak blending together in the background, and subsequently, the only true reason he’d agreed to represent the band tonight at this function.

“My, my, my; look what we have here” he said with cheeky implication as he took a moment to slowly look her up and down with a shit-eating grin spread across his face, leaving his eyes squinted and cheeks rounded. She looked even better than he remembered, her long tousled hair neatly spilling over her shoulder just how he’d always liked it. It had been months since he’d seen her in the flesh and the sight of her was enough to make him feel giddy to his core.

“I’m so glad you could make it” she replied with a breathy laugh, cheeks slightly flushed as her arms wrapped around his neck for a quick squeeze ‘hello.’ In that moment, she was very pleased with her decision to wear her sleek black one-piece suit under her cutoff shorts with a red lip—a combination that always delivered. His palm lingered across the span of her waist around her back, squeezing gently, letting it run down to her hip before letting go. When they parted from their embrace and their eyes met, Calum’s cheeky confidence quickly turned shy and boyish, as it typically does.

“Yeah, me too. This is—this is quite the soiree.” He motioned to the mingling bodies around them. “Um, so how have you been, how was Morocco?” He looked down awkwardly at his shoes for a brief moment, cursing himself and nature for not being smoother. Trying not to come off too eager although he’d been thinking about this interaction daily for nearly a year now, whether they had been speaking or not.

They had been engaging in a modest flirtation for months and months now, they had tried going on a handful of dates right around the time the band came back to LA from touring to focus on writing the following album, ‘Calm.’ The term ‘dates,’ however, should be used loosely; Calum’s record label doesn’t approve of the guys getting snapped by paps casually dating around. Rules have certainly been broken in the past— but he figured, since they’d only just met, it wasn’t worth the headaches that these things cause on the harsh world that is the internet. People always talk and it tends to confuse the masses. So, they opted for more intimate yet appropriate venues for their rendezvous like dinner at Calum’s outdoor living space, tight knit shin-digs at his bandmate Michael’s house, or lengthy facetime calls from their respective home couches.

Calum was absolutely smitten- a feeling so new to him, he couldn’t even remember if he’d ever felt it with anyone else before. He was also terrified things would fall apart just like they always had in the past, she ran free and untamed, never staying in one place long enough to make lasting connections, making Calum wary of her potentially leaving and breaking his heart. He could always see it in her face, there was a wild side to her that she couldn’t explain. Things quickly began to prove too consuming for him as he tried to juggle really getting to know her, despite his reservations, and focusing on pouring his heart into the upcoming record. He’s the type to completely immerse himself in whatever it is that’s important to him, so he felt it wasn’t fair to them or his art if they continued building on the relationship. The pair chalked it up to poor timing and decided to give each other space while he worked with his band tirelessly on their music for a number of months. Forever the wandering bohemian, she jetted off to spend some time living with friends in Amsterdam and then frolicking about in Morocco for the summer.

Once the record was released, promotion was finished and the tour was completed; he and his band mates arrived back to LA for some much-needed R & R before eventually returning to the writing process to start it all over again. She returned back to her home base, for the time being, sun-kissed and thrilled to be back in the states for one major reason. Calum had spent nearly the whole first month home catching up on sleep, ordering sushi on grubhub and lounging around in boxers doing next to nothing; standard procedure. But now he was fully rested, extremely rejuvenated, and he was eager to get up to no good.

“I’ve been good, yeah, Morocco was gorgeous and…mind-altering…” She trailed off, losing her train of thought while taking in his face, she shook her head slightly. “Wow, it is so nice to see you again.” She reveled, her green eyes catching light of the twinkling strings adorning the canopy above where they stood. “It’s been a while, huh?” Her cheeks swelled up as she flashed him a smile and attempted to calculate quite how long it had been in her head, remembering some of the last times they hung out vividly. Thoughts shifting to his scent, how he looked different but it was somehow even better than before, the way he had to look down to meet her gaze, the hand he had pressed against her waist when he greeted her earlier, how she felt at ease and wired at the same time to be in his presence.

“Way too long” He said through a toothy smile, already having to remind himself of how they vowed to take things slowly over the text messages leading up to tonight, and simultaneously imagining leaving cherry red marks down the length of her neck. He couldn’t stop sneaking glimpses of her exposed skin and imagining her dark hair splayed across his crisp white sheets or holding her tightly while she wore one of his old t shirts, he desperately hoped that’s where this night was headed. His tongue slipped out and ran its way over his bottom lip when the thin black strap of her bathing suit slipped down her shoulder, his hand moving before the rational side of his brain had any time to talk him out of it. He gently brushed her hair back to expose her bare shoulder and slid the strap back up into place for her, their eyes meeting as his hand lingered there for a moment too long. His jaw tensed as he pulled his hand away, looking down briefly, she swallowed and made herself busy with her champagne flute. He swore he could feel little tiny electric sparks flying each time his skin met hers. “Sorry” He muttered, ever apologetic.

“Don’t be” She said softly and gave him ‘the eyes,’ the eyes that Calum still thought about before he fell asleep some nights. A face that looked like it came straight out of his dreams, innocent yet sinister all rolled into one, making him shiver. A face he couldn’t help but imagine staring up at him while she takes him into her mouth slowly, then all at once. Quite a regular fantasy he’d been having these days, this face felt like she was giving an open invitation to daydream of her. They’d been calling or texting almost daily for around two weeks since she arrived back home, anticipation rising with each passing day.

“So,” He cleared his throat some, “What are you doing after this?” He asked, meaning for it to come off more charming than it did. “I mean, would you want to go hang out somewhere… else? Or something.” He suddenly regretted going in for the kill so soon, he couldn’t read her expression, though he thought if he stared at her pouty pink lips and long dark lashes for long enough, he might. She smirked to herself and let out a chuckle, using her index finger to poke him in the chest. He, rather dramatically, twisted his face up and rubbed the spot vigorously with his palm.

“Owww!” He whined, wide eyed and feigning disdain. “What did you do that for?” He carried on while she rolled her eyes playfully. Tired of the party’s cold chickpea ‘cheeseburger’ sliders and shallow conversation, she decided to speed this process along. She was no fool, they’d both been waiting for this very moment as an excuse to hang out alone again.  

“Let’s get out of here.” She leaned in to put her lips up close to his ear, brushing her palm up against his bicep lightly. She pulled back to look him in the eyes, a little smile taking over her plush lips his eyes kept finding their way back to. “I wanna come to your house” She stated, stepping forward slightly to close the space between them, her scent creeping up into his nasal passages and making his mouth go dry imagining how sweet she’d taste.

“Yeah,” He cleared his throat, his eyes widening. “Sure… I mean, yeah, sounds good. I’ll grab the car.” He said, trying (and failing) to sound as cool as possible, turning abruptly and b-lining for the gate, lightning suddenly coursing through his veins at the thought of what was to come. Once to the car, he used the mirror to check his hair as he pulled around to the front drive of the house, moving it around and smoothing it down, not making much of a difference with his recently-buzzed ‘do. Now, he knew exactly where the night was going.  

Been a hot minute since I’ve posted about this cutie 🥺

GIF creds to owner❤️

I did not edit or spell check this, so god pls forgive me😂

White laced gown, navy blue accents with a hint of maroon in the flower bouquet, champagne pink included into the reception hall and our gowns; I mean this wedding was like my dream come true.

I signed the guestlist for my friend's wedding, Adam and Alissa had been together for years, been my friends since college, so this was a long time coming.

“It’s beautiful here, isn’t it?” Calum’s voice shocked me, I turned around slowly to see him dressed in a white button up and black slacks. “It looks just as amazing as someone else does right now.” I look him up and down as he was standing in front of me. He rolls his eyes and reaches out for me.

I hug him the best I can without smearing my makeup on his shirt, him and Alissa would kill me both.

“Baby, you look just as amazing. This color makes you look... wow.” He sizes me up and I roll my eyes. “I’d love to stay and chit chat but the photos are about to start and I gotta go. Bridesmaids duties never end.” I joke and he rolls his eyes.

“Fine, but make sure to take some on a cell phone so I can update my lock-screen.” He winks and my heart melts. “I will, I love you.” I kiss his lips shortly and he smiles. “I love you more. See you inside, rockstar.”

-

“Do you think you’re ever gonna walk down that aisle with Calum? It’s been like 5 years now, hasn’t it?” Melissa asks while we lined up in front of the doors. “We’ve talked about it, sure. We’re both too busy for that now.”

“I mean it’s been this long, if he hasn’t committed to it yet, then he never will.” She says and my heart drops. “I don’t believe that.” I say and Melissa shrugs.

“I agree, it’s been this long.” Kennedy says from behind me, I felt like throwing up. I don’t know why I let them affect me this much. I don’t know if it’s the slight jealousy of this being the 3rd wedding we’ve attended in the past 2 months or if I’m just an insecure piece of shit, but either way, my heart was dead.

“Enough of that, it’s time to start.” The wedding planner cut us short as the doors opened slowly.

Everyone looked back at the three of us as we walked together with the groomsmen, I caught a glimpse of Cal smiling and winking at me, but I quickly looked away before I accidentally cried.

Soon, Alissa came in and the ceremony started. I would sneak glances at Calum and he’d be staring solely at me, which made me look away or put my head down.

I loved the thought of marriage with Calum more than anything, but it just was always the thing on the back burner. We haven’t even talked about marriage in at least 7 months.

What if it was true, that if he was to commit he would’ve done it by now. But he’s a super star, marriage obviously isn’t something that sells.

Maybe my life will as be that saying “always the bridesmaid but never the bride.”

——

The party really started when the mini bar opened up and I could get my hands on any type of liquor.

“You looked amazing up there.” I heard Calum’s voice before a hand wrapped around at my side.

“Thanks babe!” I tried to force a fake smile, but he saw right through me. “What’s wrong?” He asked and I shook my head. “Nothing I promise! I am just exhausted, I’ve been up doing this bridesmaid thing since 7 am. I’m sorry.” I pout slightly and he kissed my lips shortly.

“You sure?” He asks while moving my hair out of the way.

“Pinky promise.” I lie as I stick my pinky out to his while he connects.

“Do you want to catch a table together?” He asks and I shake my head. “Can’t, she put my placement card over at the head table.” I point and he frowns.

“She didn’t put you by Liam, did she?” He asks while winking at me, Liam was an old high school fling.

“No, he’s at the opposite end.” I smile softly and he just turns his head to the side a little, I saw so many wheels turning. “Okay well I’ll catch up with you at the first dance. Text me from up there, please. I miss you.” He kisses my forehead before walking over to an empty seat by our old friends.

I just felt like my life wasn’t as shiny as everyone else’s. I mean yeah I am dating the sweetest man on this planet, I have an amazing job, and I know he loves me but what if that’s just it? What if he doesn’t see a future with me and he is just blinded by it just being boring old us. What if he doesn’t want to marry me and that’s why he hasn’t asked by now? I’ve been to 3 weddings as the bridesmaid this year and I haven’t once considered that maybe I’m not good enough to be the bride.

I feel so happy for my friends because they just seem so happy, but what if I’m not cutting it for him anymore?

——

“Now it’s time for the ladies to gather around for the bouquet toss, come on girls!” I hear the DJ announce, I hadn’t even moved out of my seat since I sat down. I skipped the whole dancing thing, I could see Calum’s disappointment but I guess he didn’t mind too much.

“C’mon y/n, that means you too.” Alissa yells and I move to stand behind her, the crowd of women intoxicatedly happy.

“3, 2, 1!” The crowd yells but Alissa doesn’t throw the bouquet, she turns around slowly to hand it to Kennedy who was front and center. Kennedy seemed confused before she turns around to see her boyfriend, Grayson, on one knee.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!!!

They’ve been together for a whole year and they’re getting married before me? Someone better call Ashton Kutcher and the camera crew out here before I fucking lose it.

I roll my eyes before I march my happy ass back to my assigned seat. What the actual fuck?

——

“Baby?” Calum sounded upset behind me, I turn around to see him looking extremely exhausted. “Yeah!” I fake my happiness when I speak.

“I’m gonna head home, partying doesn’t feel like me tonight, so I’ll see you there. I know you’ve got a few more bridesmaid duties to do before you can go.” He sounded just as off as I did.

“Oh, yeah! I do. I’ll see you at home, don’t wait up for me.” I smile lightly and he nods.

He kisses my cheek softly before he walks out of the venue.

—

“Everyone, please give it up and say goodbye for a few days to the new mister and misses Adam Walker!” The DJ yells as the couple makes it to the venue doors. The 6 of us in the bridal party were lined up with them and their parents.

Alissa gave out hugs until she finally got to me. “You okay?” She asks and I nod shortly. “I am all bridesmaid out, I hope you have fun.” I give her a hug and she nods. “I will, tell Cal hi for us. Love y’all.” She said before turning away, was my pain that obvious or??

——

I finally made it home and my feet were beyond dead.

“Baby, is that you?” Calum’s voice called out, fuck. Fuck.

“Yeah, it’s me.” I put my keys down and then my purse.

I turn the corner and almost run flat into him, I apologize quietly and move towards the stairs.

“Did I say something today? Or do something?” Calum asks from behind me, I could hear the pain in his voice.

“No, it wasn’t you. I’m just tired.” I lie and take the first stair. “I believed that for a few minutes and I’m sure you are tired, but that’s not it. You’re avoiding me and you didn’t even text or dance with me. You just seem pissed off at the world or me, if it’s me then I am sorry.” His voice stops me, I slack my shoulders.

“You didn’t do or say anything Cal. Sorry.” I say as I make my way up the stairs before he stops me again, but it didn’t matter because he was up the stairs shortly after me.

“I hear you but I don’t feel you.” He says as he grabs my arm loosely. “It’s not anything you’ll understand because I don’t even understand it myself.” I sigh and face him, he physically softened a little at that but it didn’t last long.

“Just talk to me baby, please. You know it won’t be stupid, we’ve been doing this for 5 years now, we’ve got this.” He soothes and I roll my eyes.

“Yeah, 5 fucking years. That’s the problem.” I grunt and move out of his grip and into the bathroom. I find the makeup wipes and start to scrub my face. “What does that mean!” He exclaims and I shake my head.

“We’ve been together for 5 years and you haven’t asked me.” I felt like a stupid bitch for even talking.

“Asked you what?” He sounded absolutely clueless.

“To marry you Cal! Marriage! Why are we even dating still, if you don’t plan on starting a family between us then what’s the point anymore!” I slightly raised my voice and he takes a step back.

“What? Of course there’s a point to us. How do you know I don’t want to marry you? We’ve talked about it before!” He was getting just as frustrated.

“If you haven’t committed to it now then you never will, and other people think that too! It’s been so long since we’ve ever spoke of marriage Calum.” I fold my arms across my chest.

“There’s more to love than a ceremony and a ring! If that’s all that matters instead of the 5 years of loving each other solely, then I’m not the problem here! I can’t believe marriage is so important to you as a sign of commitment, like I haven’t gave you all of me! You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” He shouts and I jump slightly, taking a big step back.

He was right though, maybe right with his voice too damn loud, but nevertheless.

There was more to love than a ring or paper, I just felt like that’s what it should end up at, but it’s not. Paper doesn’t change commitment, it changes titles.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you like that or scare you.” He moved closer and I nodded.

“Please talk to me. I’m sorry and we can work it out.” I wasn’t avoiding talking because I was scared or upset that he yelled, I just knew he was right and I felt like a fucking idiot.

“Baby,” his voice was shaky and I grabbed ahold of his hand softly. “You shouldn’t be sorry, I’m the freaking idiot here. You were right, it’s not about a ring or paper. I’m sorry that I overreacted and ruined a nice time.” I admit and he lets out a sigh of relief.

“It’s okay, I understand. You do know that I want to marry the fuck out of you, right? Because I swear to God, I’ll fly us to Las Vegas right now.” He jokes and I nod, laughing a little.

“I don’t want to elope and I don’t want you to feel like you have to propose any time soon. You’re right and I can wait, because my commitment and love for you will stay the same regardless.” I hug him and he chuckles lightly.

“I love you.” He kisses my cheek and I smile warmly. “I love you more.”

“If someone ever gets proposed to at our wedding though, I swear I will go into labor at their wedding and die at their fucking funeral.” I joke and he laughs, eyes crinkling and all warm like.

Look at our boys throughout the years :’)

You and Calum sat on your bed deciding what you wanted for dinner. Neither of you was quite hungry, but you both knew you would need something soon.

“Pizza?” Cal asked.

“That’s your go to.” You chuckled.

“What are you coming up with?” he joked.

“Pho.” You respond quickly.

“I don’t want to be hungry again in an hour.” Calum sighs, staring at the ceiling.

“What help are you.” You sigh, getting more agitated. You two do this every night. “We could just make something.” You suggest.

“Takes too much time.” He sighs again.

“Why do we buy groceries then?”

“What if the world ends? What if we can’t go out for food?” He jokes.

You roll your eyes and pull out your phone for suggestions.

“I don’t want fast food.” Cal chimes.

You let out a deep breath, “What do you want then?”

He just shrugged.

“You’re killing me smalls.”

“You seem fine to me.”

“Calum Thomas I am going to murder you if you do not tell me what you want right now.”

“Someone’s cranky.” He plays, but it just irritates you more.

“Someone needs to shut up.” You scowl.

“Oh, you’re hangry.” He smiles.

“Calum.”

“Y/N.”

You storm out of the room and lock yourself away in the spare room.

**

A short while later there was a light knock on the door.

“What do you want Cal?” you smile, going through the nightly routine.

“Special delivery for the love of my life.” He calls.

You laugh and unlock the door. He’s holding Chinese.

“You’re perfect.” You smile, taking his hand to get up.

“Still cranky?” he smirks.

“Depends… Are you going to tell me to shut up again?” you blush.

“No…” he started, leaning in closer, “I’m just gonna show you how to do it.” He kissed you softly and you couldn’t help but smile.

“So, we’re on for this ridiculous routine tomorrow night then?” you ask.

“Absolutely.” He replies, setting the food on the table.

“I love you.”

A/N: Okay I’m back and maybe not better than ever, this si a piece of writing that i’m not quite sure about, but i like the vibe (also i might go back to this later and edit?? idk)

TW: none i think?? the start is a bit angsty, but not much more

Word count: 1,2k almost..

If you say that you don’t feel a thing

“DO YOU NOT FEEL A THING?”

He all but yelled at you, like he couldn’t see the tears building up in your eyes, like he couldn’t hear how chocked up you are.

“I feel EVERYTHING, that’s the goddamn problem! I feel the bed being cold in the morning, I taste you in every sip of coffee, and I feel the scent of old cigarettes in the curtains of our bedroom balcony. But most of all I feel the absence of you every day! It hurts so much, it’s just better to not show it.”

You turned around to hide the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes.

“I’ve been at rehe-”

You quickly interrupted him, whipping around to look at him with a fire burning in your eyes.

“Yeah, I know! rehearsal or interviews or just partying-”

Now Calum looked at you sharply, returning the fire like there was no tomorrow.

“What’s wrong with that? I should be able to do stuff like that, you don’t control my life, it’s not like you part take in it alot either.”

The ball in the bottom of your throat was threatening to explode.

“Why would I want to part take in a party where I’m not wanted anyways.”

With that you turned on your heel and headed to the bedroom. You had been happy for so long that this felt like karma for not having that much of fights in the past months. It was just that all the love that used to fill the house was fading way to fast.

I need you to need me to stay

Calum wakes up later than he planned that day. He is facing the wall opposite of your side  of the bed, so he rolls over onto his back. Rubbing his eyes, he lets out a groan as he remembers last night. He stretches his hand over to your side, just to be met with cold sheets. It feels like a tiny stab to the heart. He really wanted to apologize. Looking over at his alarm clock on the bedside table, he sees that the time has just passed nine am. This causes him to furrow his brow. You’re always up after him. Always.

The kitchen is empty. The living room and adjoined terrace is abandoned, and there is no music or noises coming from the bathroom. Suddenly the big house is empty and cold, a feeling he never thought he would experience in his own place. It wasn’t supposed to remind him of all the lonely hotel rooms he had stayed in throughout the years.

Back in your bedroom, he sees that his green empathy hoodie is missing, and a tiny glimmer of hope flickers. Along with a bit of fear. He needs you to stay. He needs you to need him to stay. So he makes a decision right there. He’s going to find you and sort all this out.

------

LA was unusually cold this morning, but that could have to do with the fact that you were up four hours earlier than you were used to. Regardless, after nine months in a relationship with Calum, it was safe to say that the honeymoon phase was over. It had been for a while, but in the last week, things had taken a turn for the worse. The fights had been constant and you didn’t want to deal with it anymore. They were ripping your heart out piece by piece, and if this was what love was, you didn’t want it.

I remember the way that I felt inside

You could hear the loud, familiar rumble of Calum’s car rolling in place besides yours, yet you did not turn. You just pulled up the the green hood and rested your head on your left hand. It was propped up on you knee and you were sitting on the hood you your beat up jeep.

This was your place, you both came here when life was to hard. Sometimes separate, other times together. It was the cliche make out spot, with view and all, it was also the place you both met. How ironic that it might be the place you end as well.

You felt your car make a small dip as Calum leaned against the hood beside you. He was nervous, that much was obvious with all the fidgeting he was doing.

“Will you please stop rocking the car Calum?”

It came out harsher than intended, and a small flinch made its way onto your face. It felt like all you could do was sigh.

“How did it come to this?”

“To what?”

You turn your head to look at him. Really look at him, you havent done that in ages. His hair is a mess. Not the post sex, good kind of messed up. It looks like he has been running his hands through it a hundred times with lack of thought to how it would come out. The bags under his eyes, like he hasn’t slept in days. His usually golden skin, is more lifeless. The slumped shoulders and how he seems to cave in on himself- it tears you apart.

“To us.”

He says it so weakly, like he is tired of playing games. Truth be told, so are you.

“I guess, we thought this wouldn’t happen. I mean, we were so good for so long, at least I never thought it would get as bad as last night.”

You rubbed your eyes and bowed your head.

“No, you’re right. It used to be so easy, since I was mostly here and not traveling the world when we got together. I remember how I used to feel inside, everything was just so easy. I think that we didn’t expect it to get this hard, when I started being more away.”

“Yeah, I agree. It’s just.. I don’t want to lose you. So it was kind of easier to push you away.”

He nodded, and shuffled closer.

“And when you started pulling away, so did I, with all the partying and stupid stuff.”

Calum, carefully looked at you, and suddenly felt like 10am had never looked this good. It had always been an anonymous time of the day. But now he saw it in a new light. Literally and figuratively. The way your eyes were shining as you overlooked the city. They way a lock of hair was falling from behind the hood of the sweater, and your teeth were biting your lower lip. He delicately took hold of your sweater covered hand and pulled the sleeve up to your wrist, before he entwined your fingers. Tightly.

“Look I’m sorry I got distant. I shouldn’t have, and both of us knew that this time would come eventually. But now we have learned this lesson. It hurts right now, but it isn’t so bad that it isn’t good for something.”

He just chuckles and looks at you, with a long awaited glint in his eyes.

“When did you become such an optimist?”

Leaning your head on his shoulder, you smiled.