#callmecarson starters

“ i don’t want your wares, ___ ” “ you will buy my wares! ” “ i am selling  C R A M ” “ what is cram ? ” “ a  C R A M. ” “ i am selling multiple  C R A M S  very different flavors yes yes; i am selling raspberry  C R A M,  berry  C R A M,  VERY berry  C R A M. ” “ can you tell me what a cram is? ” “ ah it’s a little mushy substance you put in between your gums; it’s NOT dip though, don’t think it’s dip! ” “ would you like some  c r a m? ” “ i don’t want cram... do you have anything besides cram? ” “ only twenty gold coins for one... BUCKET. of  C R A M. i sell them by the bucket. ” “ you will receive  C R A M  upon paying me twenty gold coins. ” “ i don’t have any gold coins ” “ PAY the gold coin you will receive the raspberry, berry, or VERY berry  C R A M. ” “ dude i’m gonna go across the street if you don’t sell me literally anything besides cram. ” “ NOT TO THE MARC SALESMAN- ” “ the what salesman? ” “ the MARC SALESMAN. ” “ the marc salesman? ” “ that’s the opposite of  C R A M... ” “ i don’t know what’s happening! ” “ you’ve just created a fake substance, you have made something completely new and you are trying to sell it to me. ” “ you will. receive.  C R A M  upon paying me twenty gold coins. ” “ i’ve heard that! ” “ you will buy the  C R A M.  i recommend the VERY berry  C R A M, it is like the berry  C R A M  but  v e r y. ” “ can i buy... can i buy like a sword or something? i am trying to go into battle and you are only offering me some SUBSTANCE of yours ” “ the only swords i have are made of  C R A M. ” “ i don’t want a  CRAM SWORD ” “ laid in the sun for about a fortnight it will be harder than  S T E E L. ” “ C R A M  sword. ” “ receive  C R A M  sword  i am selling for fifty gold coins ” “ what does cram even look like- ” “ LAID IN THE SUN FOR A FORTNIGHT- ” “ I heard - i HEARD all about th- I HEARD ALL ABOUT THE laying in the sun and the fortnight - ” “ HARDER THAN  S T E E L ” “ can i buy -- can i buy like - steel? steel? do you sell steel? ” “ ..... i have some  C R A M  i have laid out for a fortnight pryviously that comes as strong as steel. ” “ what is it made of? ” “ ... the question confuses me. ” “ C R A M. ” “ wh-- i’m not in the call with you anymore! how did you just say cram? ” “ where are you coming from?! ” “ i am from the sky... i know all things and i only see with  C R A M. ” “ i lost my eyes thousands of years ago... and i replaced them with eyeballs made of  C R A M  that were laid in the sun for a fortnight ” “ NUUHH  C R A M- ”