I stare at my cup. The hot liquid swirling slowly in the small porcelain container. The memories are floating around in my head. I quickly shut my eyes tight. I don’t want to think of those times anymore. No. A long, drawn out breath escapes my lips. I don’t understand. How could a word so simple and innocent be such sweet, sweet poison? How could a word so small have an impact bigger than the galaxies? How could a word so insignificant hurt me so much?
I can never understand how this works. No matter how many times the cycle repeats, I can never retain a single piece of information. I can never wrap my head around it. How does it work? How does it happen?
I slowly open my eyes and lift my head up, ears ringing with all the noise in the café. I finally pick my cup up and take a slow sip, savoring the flavor, though the liquid burnt my tongue a little. I tilt my head back, inhaling the scent of the coffee beans. Why did my mind have to go back to then?
I can’t change the past, I tell myself, with a slight shake of my head. I wish I could but I can’t. All I can do now is finish my drink and live on. I don’t think I can ever grasp the concept. So with a sigh, I pour the rest of my drink down my throat, pick up my bag and leave. I can only wish that one day it’ll happen to me again.
One day, I whisper to no one in particular, my stare lingering on the couple on a date. I smile. One day... Just not today.