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Jupiter: Does any part of you want to bite me?
Cain: No. Well, maybe.
Me: cackling
I swear to god that Cain’s gun is fucking barking like a dog am I just hearing things or this really a thing that is happening?
okay, so one thing that I haven’t seen mentioned about jupiter ascending that I’ve been thinking about on and off is how basically Caine’s whole character arc is a romantic one? Like, his character is described in the beginning as literally a lone wolf w/o a pack, he then spends the rest of the movie doing a bunch of action shit and slowly realising that he needs Jupiter, that she is “his pack” and that Jupiter completes him. Climaxing with him recklessly driving a spaceship into the red spot on Jupiter (the planet) risking his life so that he can save Jupiter (the character).
like, that’s literally his entire character development and i fucking love it.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
All of you should check this out, it’s the most adorable cutest fanfic I’ve ever read! Here’s a quick summary: "One of the Abrasax gets de-aged as a 4-6 year old or whatever and mentally as well. That person then ends up screaming that 'they want their Mother. NOW!!'Once they see Jupiter it's all 'Mama/Mother!' and wanting to be with her all the time, wanting cudddles, Mother, play time, Mother, naps and did I mention Mother? Basically baby duckling Abrasax, following her everywhere and being the sweetest thing (in their way) and Jupiter thinking that they are the most adorable person ever.The De-ageing is only temporary and they remember everything when the 'grow up'." Written by KayteaEM

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okay so i’m usually pretty lukewarm about channing tatum but in jupiter ascending it was just like damn he’s straight out of my middle school fantasies
me: *ironically goes to see Jupiter Ascending* me: *actually enjoys it*
Cain Wise : angst-muffin by bishounenizer