#cafemetropole

Sorry, just have to start with that I have “I Was Born in a Laundromat” by Camper Van Beethoven in my head. I never imported all of my cd collection, but I thought Spotify would satisfy. BUT NO! Oh the trials of loving the semi-esoteric music of the 80s and 90s. Ah well. I’ll go back to listening to Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty on repeat (Dude, that song is fucking epic!).

So I haven’t felt too compelled to write lately. I’ve been having some crazy professional woes (take your pick…my actual job, my work with CLA, teaching). I can’t say that that is neither here nor there, because it is. But I think I’ve turned a corner. I’m feeling more determined to do the best with what I have. And what do I have? SO FUCKING MUCH.

First off, a very belated thanks.

If you’ve been reading this regularly, haha, you’ll know I said goodbye to my amazing cat Jack several months ago. In a lovely turn of events, I saw Anna (the amazing library assistant I got to work with temporarily) at a staff meeting and she had a totally unexpected present for me. Her ridiculously talented son, Eliott (that’s right, with two ts and don’t you forget it!) drew this portrait of me and Jack in memoriam because she asked him to. Yes, I cried. What a thoughtful and unprovoked gesture. Um, BTW...Anna could you please please adjust your life to be my assistant?! We could take this island by storm! FOR REALS.

And also. I have never been a children’s librarian. Or in this case, a tween librarian. But you know what? I LOVE my tweens. And I get this in return:

Please do take a moment to make that picture bigger. I am not boasting. I am appreciating. Sometimes the good stuff you put out in the world comes back. In spades. I get so much love every day from these kids. May I never ever take it for granted.

So, life has been throwing me a lot of, well, what’s another word for challenges? That’s the politick way to say it. In truth it’s just a bunch of fucked up shit. And you know what? I have no poker face amidst these...challenges. I was REALLY having a day last Saturday. I am what I call an automatic crier. That means I cannot hold back when the tears come, and they are usually because I am frustrated and/or angry. My sad is a whole different thing. Anywho, I was out and about that Saturday during my lunch hour sans poker face, and people noticed.

I got back to work, lunch in hand (from one of my faves, Cafe Metropole!), and found this note in my to go box. People talked lots of shit about small town life before I moved here, but I have to say, the sense of community is wonderful.

And while I am trying to be thankful, it is useful to try to see my life through the view of others. This is the view from my deck:

When people see that, they say “You are living the life!” Which is true, in many respects. Would that I didn’t have so many feelings about so many things. But I will totally concede: It’s so beautiful here. You fuckers (and I mean YOU) should visit me.

And finally. The deserved star of many a tumblr, my girl. If I were thankful for nothing else (even though I am!), I’d be thankful for my Hope: