#caesar alexander

Accepted

I cannot properly describe the night I had with Ollie.

I learned a lot.

I should not be alive, merely from the effort to learn it.

Ollie is not in the station. Unexplained.

Accepted

Conversation between Russell and I just stopped in the car. Purposely would be wrong to say but neither of us feel the need for small talk.

I told him Penny's secret and to use it on Ollie should we need to throw him off from the incredibly foolish violence he seems set on. It has a low success rate and could make everything worse but I have nothing else that could work.

Ollie just. Won't. Won't try to listen...I don't think...

I don't know how to get through to anyone.

I never lie. It doesn't help anyone.

But I see liars get what they want all the time.

I go out of my way to help my friends.

They see it as annoying.

I try to connect with others through emotional touch stones.

I get looked at as if I stomped on their hearts.

Accepted

Log: 27102011_a

My friends and I from elementary school have dealt a decisive blow to whatever effects the "heart of the mountain" as described by the local myths and soothsayers of the area.

As much as I would like it to be the final blow we have to make, I doubt it. Our nameless oppressive force has started coming for us with clear and angry intent.

What's worse is our troupe continues to fall apart with no prodding from the enemy whatsoever. Merely by our own lack of intelligence. I include myself in this statement, in spite of what some of my friends seem to believe.

If I ignore my own biases, it is really only one of my friends who seems to think I lord my intelligence over him. And while his teasing has lead me to do so on multiple occasions, it was never my initial intent.

This ignores his own problems with his personal life.

This ignores his significant other's issues that are both outside and connected to our looming threat.

This ignores our third friends problems with their ability to focus as well as their personal issues.

This ignores my inate disinterest in the violence that seems to be necessary for the problems of our hometown.

This ignores the simple fact that we are children. As much as I can do and think past most of my elders, I am a child.

I don't want to do this. I want to escape into my stories and games. I want to consider what my sexuality may be and if I would like to explore dating while the consequences are still meaningless to the sum of my life.

I want to reconnect with my friends in a way that isn't life threatening.