Im just a little bit sad today. And here’s my ramble, but I’m gonna hide it, so not everyone has to read through it. Thank you❤️
For almost 3 years now, I’ve been in a long distance relationship. My girlfriend and I met through the internet. She was a reader of my wattpad creations. She messaged me once and few months later, we were together. Our first meeting happened in January. She came to me and I think we were both afraid of this meeting but it happened. We quickly saw who has which role in the whole thing - we had a very fun time.
We are seeing each other two - three times a year and with every year we find out more about each other. It almost feels like falling in love over and over and over. Over simple things. We started to warm up to each other, we’re comfortable enough to walk around in loose clothes, I feel like I can rely on her when I get on my period and experience those lovely cramps, she’s comfortable enough to nap around me in various, funny positions…
Everything is okay until she leaves. Or I leave. We’re 300 kilometres away from each other. About 300. Being separated like that, on a daily basis, feels okay. Like, you message each other, you vc and maybe play some games until you both go offline. So… it’s quite fine.
It hurts the most when one of us leaves. I always burst to tears, wondering when will I see her again? Suddenly it hits you, how much you need it, how much you need her touch and her presence and you simply realise it happened. That you’re whole when she’s with you, but when she’s away, there’s a hole inside you. It’s empty, and if provoked, it will just… hurt.
It’s a train of random thoughts, but this is how I felt today. She was here for last month and then today, she had to leave. And there’s a hole inside me, that burns. And I know we will see each other again, sooner or later, but eventually one of us will have to leave.
I just can’t wait until one day, none of us will have to go. We will wake up everyday, knowing that none of us has an upcoming train. Or a flight. No one has to leave. We don’t have to plan a day by day anymore. We don’t have to plan the bus to the train station anymore.
Unless we’re going together.
