#cac2021

They lay tangled together in Ethan's bed as he traced the sharp line of Cecilia's hipbone through the sheet.

She turned to look him in the face. The darkness in his eyes seemed to have subsided, if only a little.

"Glad I stayed?"

"Yes. Though I hope...that the experience wasn't too much for you," he said, a genuine look of concern on his face.

"Did it seem like it was too much for me?"

He shook his head. "No, it didn't. I've just never met someone whose appetites could match my own."

"So...this is something you've tried before then?" she asked, a little nervous of the answer.

"No. It is something I've thought about in the past, but never really felt comfortable enough to bring it up to anyone," he shifted slightly, looking a little embarrassed. "I had fully intended on having a conversation about whether it would be something you were interested in trying, but after everything that happened today, I guess I got a little carried away."

The confidence he had shown earlier in the night was long gone and had been replaced with a look of vulnerability, having revealed his secret desires to her.

"It's okay," she replied running her fingers tenderly over his chest. "I do have a couple of questions though...if you don't mind?" She gave him a warm smile, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

"Of course," he replied with a cautious nod.

"Did you buy these...props for me?" she asked, running her hands over the straps of leather clinging to her curves. "Or have you had them longer than that?"

"I bought them a few months ago. It wasn't long after that night where we used the whipped cream." She noticed a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth at the memory and couldn't help but join him with a smile of her own. "It's always excited me when we've tried different things, but I knew this was a slightly bigger step and I've been a little nervous to broach the subject."

"I get that. You don't have to feel nervous talking to me though Ethan, about anything. I love that you feel comfortable enough with me to want to try new things. It's not something that I had thought about myself, but...I enjoy experimenting with you." She placed a gentle kiss on his lips as she drew her fingers lovingly down his cheek. "You must have done your research though, because it definitely seemed like you knew what you were doing," she smiled.

"Yes," he chuckled, looking a little more at ease with the subject. "I wanted to know what I was talking about if we were ever to try it."

"Well you definitely succeed there," she giggled, "did it live up to your expectations?"

He paused for a moment. "Yes, I really enjoyed it...was it okay for you?"

She nodded before adding a "yes" in confirmation.

"I just hope I didn't made you feel uncomfortable by springing it on you like I did."

"I won't lie, I was a little surprised, but I think you should know by now...I'd go anywhere with you. In bed... but also just in life. We could be bare naked in the snow in Iceland, and I'd still enjoy myself. As long as it was you I was enjoying."

"That's good to know," he responded with a smile, "I'd never want to do anything that you weren't fully on board with though."

"You know I'd tell you if I wasn't, but to be honest I quite enjoy going beyond my comfort zone with you. You're definitely full of surprises you know. I never would have thought that the esteemed Dr. Ramsey would be so kinky," she giggled.

"Well, it's not exactly something I would broadcast is it," he chuckled, "and we all have our secrets. I'm just glad I can share mine with you."

Her heart fluttered as she smiled to herself.

A few moments later, she propped herself up on her elbows and looked down at him. She lazily brushed his hair away from his forehead. He looked calmer...but still troubled.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, thinking back to events earlier in the day.

"Pleasantly spent... but I take it that's not what your question is referring to," he sighed, running a hand through his hair and tilting his gaze up to the ceiling.

They talked for several minutes about Ethan's decision and the consequences surrounding it.

He reached for her hand across the tangle of sheets, leaning in to lay a soft kiss on her lips.

"Thank you," he said.

"What for?"

"For being here tonight. For helping me work through this," he responded, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"I'll always be there for you, Ethan. Even when I don't agree with you," she replied sincerely.

"I know... and I hope I never take that for granted."

She sighed, gazing out the windows at the twinkling city lights.

"What happens when we go back out there?"

He considered for a moment, a flicker of the storm returning to his gaze. "To be honest, I don't know what will happen. But I am sure of something. Whatever it is, I'm less afraid of it knowing that I'll have you by my side."

Together, they knew they could face anything and they'd support each other no matter what.

Their lips joined for a long deep kiss, before drifting off to sleep in each others arms.

~~~~

Thank you for reading. I couldn't rest until I had written this. I hope you enjoyed it 🥰

~~~~

Tags: @pixie88 @lifeaskim @shewillreadyou @queencarb @udishaman @lucy-268 @starrystarrytrouble @txemrn @ethanramseylover @irisofpurple @alina-yol-ramsey @maurine07 @stygianflood @iemcpbchoices @mercury84choices @binny1985 @caseyvalentineramsey @mainstreetreader @coffeeheartaddict @wingedhairstylemusicweasel @dorisz

I don’t need you to follow me, Aparna. I knew there could be consequences. 

I made my bed... The least I can do is lie in it.

She stood before him, under the lurid new lights of the revamped atrium. Face contorted in worry, and something else he is no longer a stranger to.

That doesn’t mean you have to weather them alone. 

I care about you. Talk to me.

And she looked no older than she did in her first year. 

In those days the atrium housed the trees planted in his intern year, and some even older. And Aparna had implored him to stay. Because the patients needed him. Because she needed him. 

Ethan was not brave enough to admit he needed her more than she would ever need him. That part of them remains pitifully unaltered.

This time however, it’s different from letting her in. It’s about beating the devil at his own game. Wrestling his slippery self on a rock face. 

He wonders what it’s like on the other side of the tunnel. The darker side that the likes of Bloom inhabit. The one that doesn’t have its throat slit by the glare of street lights. More importantly, how do the likes of Dr. Ramsey beat him at his own game and remain unscathed.

He’s being reckless. Dangerously so. But whatever else he might tell himself, he is lonely too.

Cloistered in an apartment that never felt emptier, he can almost hear her terrible joke on fingers of scotch. When did the notoriously single Ethan Ramsey become this dependent he wonders.

After four arduously long rings, he almost disconnects the call.

‘Ethan?’

‘Hey.’

The silence stretches into a long and restless twilight across his windows, and he thinks he ought to ask about her day. She beats him to it.

‘Do you want me to come over?’ 

‘That… That would be nice.’

She definitely rolls her eyes on the other side of the line. 

***

‘Do you ever wish you’d settled for someone… less complicated?’ He avoids her eyes fixing his own on the ceiling. 

The fingers massaging his forehead stall for the briefest quarter of a second before resuming. The slight shift finds his head even more snugly settled in her lap.

He feels stifled by an all-consuming sense of helplessness. And it’s different from the trickiest diagnoses when he knows he’s giving his all and failing. It is a plethora of all that is wrong with the system. The one he has been pitted against all his life, and mostly managed to thwart.

Ethan Ramsey never settles for half-measures. Not when he can help it. And with Bloom, he cannot. 

Not unless he tips the scales in his favour. And it has taken the last morsel of his sanity to plot it.

No loose ends. Or second footprints for that matter. One more ethics hearing and her career would end before it began, and Naveen himself could do nothing about it.

Yet here he is. The irony of it biting, as the one person he needs to protect by all means is the one being implicated. If Harper, one of the most level-headed people he knows-

‘Besides the fact that I’m nowhere close to being settled?’ Aparna interrupts his thoughts from somewhere above him. 

Oh.

‘Sorry, I didn't mean-’ 

Of course she is grinning. Annoyingly smug and utterly distracting. 

He could kiss her senseless and wipe the smirk off those lips. Make her moan right here on the couch. 

He almost does.

‘Did you wish you weren’t involved with someone whose medical license was about to be revoked?’ She asks.

Her fingers rove about his temple, right where he has recently seen specks of silver. And he awaits a joke about his age that never comes.

‘Ethan…’

God, he hopes he doesn’t look that miserable.  

‘I need you to know I’d go anywhere with you. And I mean that-’ She holds his chin to turn his face. ‘I mean that in every sense of the word. Thought you’d know by now.’

She looks strangely composed. 

It could be the immensity of her proclamation. Or the ease with which it has rolled off her tongue. But it alarms him. Not because he isn’t ready, because make no mistake he is. It alarms him because she is doing it again. 

In that moment all of his life could flicker past him like the tedious crackle of an old television set, and he’d still be enraptured by the unwavering intent in her eyes.  

And she looks no older than she did in her first year. 

He raises a hand grazing the softness of her neck. Her cheek. And the corner of her parted lips. 

Come here is all he manages before drawing her face to his own.

He only vaguely remembers the drive back home when he wanted to be in control of his life. He has never felt more disarmed. Or more- he discerns the lump in his throat- in love.

Beads of crimson settle on the horizon, and in the abandoned dregs of his whisky. The natural order of things calls for day and night. Much in the same way it summons droughts and downpour.

And as for him, he’d come undone for her again and again.

***

The stillness of the air is riddled by his own ragged breaths mingling with hers. And the deluge in his mind almost subsides. 

‘Glad that I stayed?’ She props herself on her elbows and lazily smiles down at him.

‘Always.’

She peppers the column of his neck with a final drizzle of kisses before burying one languid hand in his hair and settling against him. Just as the silence is splintered by the buzz on his coffee table.

Thankfully it’s not her pager. Just her phone. And her fingers resume their stroking of his hair.

‘How are you feeling?’

‘Pleasantly spent.’ It’s his first genuine smile in hours. ‘But really, several things at once.

‘And I’ll talk to Harper as soon as I can.’

‘I appreciate that, but… I think we need to talk to each other,’ She says. ‘For the team, but also for ourselves. 

‘I need to be able to forgive her. Not today perhaps. But I need to do it.’

He agrees. But he is baffled that Harper should accuse her now. Especially when she was willing to wait for evidence when Aparna had actually breached ethics as an intern.

Is it his tactlessness he wonders, as she loops his arm around herself. Speaking over her inputs, denying the credibility she has earned in the team by sheer hard work. 

Creating the impression that she’s still just an intern with history.

As her breath cools the sheen of sweat on his chest, he instinctively gathers her even closer. And not for the first time that evening, he feels he doesn’t deserve her.

Damage control, the interminable mutterings in his mind suggest. He needs to ensure Harper has not spoken to anyone outside the team. And Tobias has not prattled. Perhaps give Naveen a heads up.

‘Check that,’ He remarks as her phone buzzes again. ‘It could be work.’ 

But just as he is about to disentangle himself to make the calls, he sees them.

Just wanted to check on you. 

Hope you’re not beeting yourself up over it.

Not a saved contact on her phone he realises. But it’s familiar. A little too familiar. He decides against asking.

She shakes her head with a faint half-smile before replacing the phone and curling up to him. She loops an arm about his chest as he strokes rehearsed patterns on her back. 

It’s minutes before they startle the peace.

‘Thank you for being here tonight, Apu,’ He almost whispers. ‘For helping me work through this.'

‘I meant what I said, Ethan,’ She says. ‘I’ll always be there for you. 

‘Even when I don’t agree with you.’

And it’s there again. That frightfully alarming calm on her face every time she promises to leap.

When he takes her bottom lip between his teeth, it’s with the ardour of a disciple who did not just invoke her minutes ago, or this morning, or into the wee hours of the night before. 

‘And I hope,’ He manages breathlessly. ‘I hope I never take that... Take you for granted.’

She doesn’t respond. Except for the immutable glimmer in her eyes. And he knows.

He decides he will call Naveen and Harper once she’s asleep. He’ll not unsettle her. Not when it might never happen. 

‘What happens when we go back out there?’

If he only knew.

‘Let’s get you to bed.’ He smiles, lacing his fingers with hers.

His life has long stopped being the neatly stacked manila folders he’d once sorted it into. For all he knows, it could be dipped and bent in all directions tomorrow. 

But he also knows she will be right there on the promontory with him.

Thank you all for reading this!  A special shout-out to @starrystarrytrouble​ because I had the inspiration to write after ages solely because of our chat ❤

Almost immediately upon exiting his study, Neville was in his face. “Your Majesty, I have an urgent matter that requires your immediate attention-”

Liam held up a hand, silencing him. “I’m sure you do, Lord Neville. Unfortunately, I am on my way to a very important meeting, so I am unable to sit with you right now. Please see my assistant on your way out, and she will be happy to book you for my next available appointment.” 

“With all due respect Your Majesty, that simply won’t do. It won’t take long, perhaps I could walk with you to your next meeting?”

Liam internally rolled his eyes at the suggestion. He knew just how to stroke his ego to get him to back down. “Lord Neville, as one of our most valued members of court, I couldn’t possibly do you the disservice of giving you anything but my full attention on what I’m sure is a crucial matter. That is all I would be doing if I allowed you to continue at this time. I will make sure that my staff adjust the schedule to provide us enough time to examine the issue thoroughly. Please send me any documentation as soon as possible so that I may review it before our meeting. That way, we can hit the ground running when we do meet.”

Neville stood tall, a smug expression quickly spreading across his face. “Very well, Your Majesty. I appreciate your assistance in the matter. I will leave the documentation with your assistant.” He bowed, and Liam nodded in response before exiting the area and moving on to his next meeting. 

“If I may say sir, the way you handled that situation was truly masterful.” Bastien commented as they walked through the palace. 

Liam chuckled and patted his security guard on the back. “All in a day's work, my friend. Everything is in place for this afternoon, I trust? I will have no disruptions for the remainder of the day?”

“Yes Your Majesty, the staff has been fully alerted that you will be unavailable. I will be at the door to ensure that you are not bothered.” Bastien replied. 

Once they arrived at their destination, Liam crossed the threshold and closed the door behind him. He was the last to arrive, so the sound of the door caught the attention of those that had already gathered. 

“Daddy!” Eleanor jumped out of her chair and ran straight for Liam, leaping into his arms. 

“Hello Princess.” He chuckled as he held her close, placing a kiss on her cheek. “Are you ready to decorate some Easter eggs?” He carried her through the livingroom area of the royal quarters, returning her to her seat at the kitchen table.

“Yep! I helped mommy mix all the colors together. It was so fun!” She gestured to the cups of coloring spread out across the table. 

Liam couldn't help but laugh at his daughter’s enthusiasm as he approached his wife, who was standing at the table making the final preparations for their afternoon project. “Hello, beautiful.” He leaned down and placed a lingering kiss on Riley’s lips. 

“Hey handsome. You made it right on time. I’m impressed.” She teased. 

“I wouldn’t miss this for anything in the world. No matter how hard Neville tried.” 

“Neville, yuck!” Eleanor chimed in, causing both of her parents to burst out laughing. 

Riley turned her attention back to her husband. “Alright, you go get changed. I don’t want you ruining your fancy king clothes with egg dye.”

Liam kissed his wife and daughter before going into the bedroom to put on some more casual clothes. He returned unnoticed as Riley explained the egg dying process to Eleanor. He stood for a moment and watched them, his girls, his world. He couldn’t help the smile that quickly spread across his face at the sight. 

“Daddy, come on, we can’t start without you!” Eleanor called out to him from the other side of the room, breaking him from his thoughts. 

He returned to the table and stood between his girls. “Alright, I’m here. Where do we begin?” 

Not only was this Eleanor’s first time decorating Easter eggs, but Liam’s too. He was told that as a Prince, there were more productive ways for him to spend his time. It was just one of the many childhood experiences being royalty simply didn’t allow for. He was so happy, not just to have this experience for himself, but to share it with his daughter. Another way to give her the childhood he never had, but always wanted.

Once Riley explained the process, they got to work; since she was the seasoned professional, she let Eleanor and Liam take the lead and do most of the work. She marveled in the similarities in their gestures, the concentration on their faces as they placed their white eggs in the dye, and the excitement when it would come out dyed a bright color. At one point, Riley couldn’t help but laugh when they pulled out their eggs at the same time, and looked up at her with identical expressions of joy, showing off their creations. 

They had gotten down to the last egg, Liam turned to Eleanor, “Ok Princess, we’ve got one left. You get to pick the color.”

A thoughtful expression overtook Eleanor’s face as she surveyed the colors that surrounded her before turning to her parents and confidently announcing her decision. “Teal.”

Riley and Liam locked eyes and shared a confused expression. There was no teal, they had only prepared basic colors, blue, green, yellow, pink, and purple. “Baby girl, we don’t have teal. These are the only colors we have.” Riley explained. 

Eleanor’s lip started to quiver as her arms went across her chest. “I want teal. Please.” Her parents had been teaching her the importance of manners, so she figured if she said please, they had to give her what she wanted. 

They both knew what that lip quiver meant, they were going to need to move quickly to avoid a total meltdown. Liam approached the princess and started rubbing her back to keep her calm. “It’s alright Eleanor. Why don’t you tell me why you want a teal egg so badly?”

“It’s my favorite color.” She looked up at her father, a pleading expression etched in her face. Her eyes glistening with unshed tears. 

There was no question that Eleanor had the King wrapped around her finger, and when she looked at him like that, there was absolutely no way he could deny her. “Alright, let me go talk to mommy and see what we can do for you.” He kissed her on her cheek and returned to his wife. “Riley, there must be something we can do. I can send someone to get teal coloring. We have unlimited resources at our disposal, there must be some way we can make this happen for her.” 

Riley shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Man, you really are a sucker when it comes to her. Aren’t you.” 

“For both of my girls, actually.” He lifted her hand to his lips and brushed them gently across her knuckles, while giving her a hopeful expression. 

She sighed deeply, as much as she tried to fight it, she was also a sucker for her family. “Alright, I guess I can try to mix the blue and green together. Maybe I can get the right ratio to make a teal dye.” 

Liam turned to Eleanor and gave her a thumbs up, she clapped her hands and cheered in response. Riley got to work carefully mixing the two dyes into a third cup, occasionally dipping a piece of paper in to test the color. She smiled to herself when the fourth test paper emerged from the cup. Mission accomplished. “Did somebody want to make a teal egg?”

“Me me me!” Eleanor raised her hand and jumped up and down in her seat. 

Riley placed the cup in front of Eleanor and handed her the egg. The pair worked together to color the final egg to the princess’s exact specifications. 

Liam watched as the two of them completed their family project. His heart was so full at that moment that he felt weak in the knees. He reached behind him and laid his palms against the kitchen island to steady himself. He stood there as his wife, the love of his life, sat with his daughter creating memories in their home. In that moment, he wasn’t a King, he was the luckiest man in the world. 

With the help of her mother, Eleanor pulled the egg from the dye, her smile growing exponentially as she proudly looked up at her father to show off her work. “Daddy, we did it! It’s teal!”

Liam chuckled at the sight in front of him. “I think it’s the most beautiful egg I have ever seen, Princess.”

Riley looked up and noticed Liam’s expression before leaning down to Eleanor. “Hey sweets, why don’t you go wash up for dinner while I put all of this away.” Her daughter looked up and nodded before rushing down the hall. Riley approached Liam and put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, are you alright?”

“Love, I can honestly tell you I have never been better.” He placed a hand on her cheek. “Do you remember our first date? During the social season?” She nodded. “You asked me what my dream was, and I told you I wanted a real family, one that was close and listened to each other.” He paused, staring deeply into her eyes. “I have that, because of you Riley. You’ve made my dream, my heart’s desire, come true. Going into my social season, I had all but given up on falling in love, and assumed I would simply marry for duty. Then you uprooted your whole life to give me a chance at happiness. I will never be able to tell you how truly grateful I am for all that you have given me.” He placed a lingering kiss on her lips.

“Liam, I did it for me too. That night in New York, I had never felt like that before. I was not that girl, the one that drops everything to fly around the world for a boy I just met, but I knew there was something there that was worth exploring.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. 

“Really?”

Riley laughed gently. “I meant every word.” She leaned in to kiss him, and he pulled her close. 

They pulled apart just as Eleanor bounded back into the room. She ran straight for her parents and jumped into Liam’s arms. He held her against one side, and pulled Riley into the other. He was sure that life couldn’t get better than that very moment. 

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The blazing sound, very much like a siren's, reached all of them, leading to the eruption of panicked commotion between all of them.

They had been run through the fire drill so many times that they didn't need to be told that it was a fire alarm.

Dolores left all her possessions, carrying only her bag with the stuffed froggy she had bought for her baby and tried to run.

But being pregnant doesn't make it very easy. Even more, if there was a fucking fire at the place.

People went haywire. Very few cared about the fact that she was carrying a baby, and they should have the minimum decency to help. Most would selfishly try to save themselves, not giving a damn about anyone.

Dolores tried to pave a way for reaching the elevator. It was nearly impossible for her to get down the stairwell in time to save herself from the hazardous situation. She could see that most of the people had already evacuated.

Why was the fire department not here yet?

The fire was ablaze, surroundings hot, and amidst all, Dolores walked slowly, worried only about her little tadpole and not herself.

She pressed the buttons of the elevator. Waited. But nothing budged.

Fuck it!

Smoke engulfed her and she felt suffocated. All through the light-headedness, she could faintly hear, the siren of the ambulance. She hoped someone would save her from this fiery hell.

But there was no one to help her. No one around. The building burnt and if she did not think of something quickly, she would burn with it as well.

Not viewing any other options, she screamed with as much strength she could garner. Once, Twice, Thrice.

The next actions happened quicker than the blink of an eye. She saw a handsome EMT rush towards her. Even though she was already in a blazing environment, she couldn't stop the he's hot reflex of her brain cells. He came to her and reassured her that he would be able to save her and her baby, picked her up, and slowly, yet swiftly, got out of there.

Just like a superhero.

She thought of telling this story of Super-Man coming to save him and his Mama to her baby and the thought made her giggle.

Her head was light, and she felt choked, but her mind would keep going to the little angel of her womb, worrying only for him.

The last she remembers was reaching the ambulance and coughing vigorously. She couldn't breathe normally. She tried and failed miserably. A slow sensation of blacking out and after that, everything blank.

After who knows how long, Dolores feels the glare of white lights around her giving her eyes a painful competition to open up. She squints, tiredness spreading through her body. From office work or the life-threatening experience? She does not know.

She slowly, very slowly, tries to sit up, her hand on her belly, tenderly stroking it, as if to let the child know that his Mamma would not let any harm come to him. Nurses check in on her, one of them replacing the oxygen mask with a nose tube, and she felt a bit more relaxed.

As she was taking in the surroundings, she realized,

Edenbrook!

Coming back here after so many years brought back many memories. The first time she came here. Oh, how panicked she was! She was getting jitters but that calm and brilliant doctor took care of her, not only inside the hospital but also outside it.

Dr Ethan Ramsey.

He still worked here, he had told her in his last email. I need to meet him! She thought.

When was the last time they had met? In that coffee shop last year, right? It had been long.

She traced the name she had thought for her tadpole over and over again on her belly as if to make him memorize it before coming here to her, and looked around.

There was a minimum difference between the room she had been kept in the first time and the one in which she was now, but the time gap made her feel everything was new.

All of a sudden the door swayed, letting in a young doctor and,

Ethan!

She was genuinely excited about seeing him. Of all the possibilities, she hadn't really considered the fact that he would be coming to treat her. He has important cases to take care of than petty smoke inhalation, right?

A frown appears on his forehead. "What did you get yourself into this time, Dolores?"

His stern tone is the tough layer of a walnut, which hid his soft corner, the concerned heart. She smiled at the realization.

She quickly filled him in with all the details. The fire. The hot superman. The baby. Everything.

She finds the young doctor's surprise about Ethan having friends amusing. The look of surprise she had on her face was priceless.

But when the doctor asked her,

"Was Dr Ramsey always so mean?" she guards her mouth using her hand, "And so handsome?"

It was Dolores's turn to be shocked. She knew just how much Ethan hated interns. He used to whine about how stupid they were all the time to her, online & offline. And here was this intern, having enough courage to ask her such a question in front of him.

Impressive!

"This man's definitely got grouchier than before, but even then he had an edge"

"And as for handsome, I think he has aged like a fine wine" Dolores winked and Ethan fumbled for words.

When he got his tone back, it was strict.

No matter what anyone else thought, Dolores knew the real Ethan. The one without his rough and tough exterior and mean demeanour.

And that Ethan, if he ever came out, would make everyone fall in love with him.

As the doctors mumbled between themselves, she looked around, searching for something.

Umm Hmm. She couldn't see it.

"Excuse me Doctor Sharma" Both of them turned to look at her. "I remember having my bad when the hunk brought me out. Did they bring it here?" She asks, anxiety on its borderline, ready to burst out.

She needed it. Very Much.

Dr Sharma looks around for a bit, carefully conscious eyes trained to spot abnormalities. Her eyes, soon enough, fall on the side table of the bed and she picks the purse up and hands it over to Dolores.

Another frantic search follows. She turns all the contents up and down, her happy demeanour replaced with a visible frown.

It's not here, she says, evidently panicked.

A sadness spreads on her face.

"I must have dropped it in the office" She is on the verge of crying.

Dr Sharma places a kind hand on her shoulder. What Happened? Her questioning eyes wordlessly ask.

Dolores sighs, "It probably sounds stupid but I saw this adorable little frog on my lunch break and had to get it for my little tadpole."

"My parents are gone and the father's not in the picture." She adoringly places a hand on her swollen belly, "I just want everything to be perfect for him."

Dr Sharma gives her shoulder a gentle push of reassurance, and adds, "It's not stupid Dolores, absolutely not. I feel like you're going to be a great mom."

Her words make Dolores smile despite the upsetting circumstances, "Thank You. I- I just wished I hadn't lost it."

She stays lost in the thoughts and daydreams of her little tadpole playing with his first gift, growing ever more upset with every passing second.

"I and Dr Ramsey will find it for you!" Dr Sharma's excited tone jolts her out of her thoughts.

She is surprised first and slowly a smile appears, "Really Ethan? You would do that for me?"

He hesitates.

"Erm- Yes, sure." He fumbles.

"Dr Sharma, let's get this urine sample to the lab first. I will meet you in the lot in ten minutes."

Relieved and Happy, Dolores exclaims, "I am 26 weeks pregnant, Ethan. Not gonna take 10 minutes to make me pee!"

And in 15 minutes, they take her urine sample away and bid adieu with a promise of bringing her token of love for her tadpole back.

She was extremely grateful for Dr Sharma. She doubted if Ethan had given in the first time if it had not been her taking initiative.

Wait a Minute.

Ethan Ramsey listened to an intern? That too, in the first time itself? The observation blew her mind.

She recounted the time he had called her to his home to give a dinner treat. Lovely memories of a different face of the man came to her mind like the waves reaching the shore, one after the other.

"Mmm... Ethan, this is delicious!" Dolores found herself falling deeply in love with this masterpiece of Georgian stuffed chicken.

"Thank You, but it wouldn't have got done without your help" Ethan was never the type to take credit. Boast, Huh? What's that?

That's what she liked the most about him. A fine, handsome man, talented without bounds, a successful doctor having shitloads of money and a chef. He was a complete package and yet seemed to be subtly unaware of it.

They chatted about everything from opera to music to their first meet. It was a jolly time.

That is, until, the conversation landed on romance.

"So, seeing anyone?"

"No, not currently." He blushes a bit.

"Imagine" Dolores leans back on her chair, stretching her legs, "if, I said if, you fell in love with," she pauses to look at his curious face, "an intern?"

"Impossible."

It came even before she had finished the word. Dolores was amused.

"Just imagine!"

"I don't want to waste time imagining something as implausible as that. Can we talk about something else please?"

And here he was today, listening to an intern, a different demeanour than usual. Not that it was love, yet, but there was something.

Was he impressed by her?

He talked differently, listened patiently to the young doctor. That Ethan Ramsey who would not stand with an intern for 5 minutes, listened to one?

Anyone who knew him would laugh off the fact and say it was a joke.

Dolores made sure that if it happens, the falling in love with an intern, she will not let Ethan see the end of it. Teasing him to annoyance, yes that's what she would do.

She turned on some soft classical music on her phone, spreading an instant calm and dozed off for a while...

She gets up with a start on the sound of the door opening. She rubs her eyes to get a better view of the people in front of her.

It was Ethan and Dr Sharma!

She looked at them and yes! there it was, her tadpole's froggy.

She was overjoyed.

"You got it!" Dolores breaks into a grin as the sterilized frog is given to her.

"Happy now?" Ethan asks, the faintest glimmer of happiness in his eyes.

"Yes, very, very, much! Thank you so much, Ethan."

She pulls Dr Sharma into a small hug, "You too Dr Sharma, thank you!"

"Of course, Dolores." The young woman's beautiful face gleams at her, "and you can call me Pooja."

After few minutes of chit chat, Pooja leaves to get Dolores's reports.

"Switch on the TV Ethan, it's boring to sit here and do nothing."

"You know you can do better things than watching stupid TV shows?"

"I am doing it because I want to. The least who can do is help me." She shrugs.

"Fine, fine."

After going on a roundabout tour of the various broadcasted shows, they settled to watch a comedy.

Soon Ethan's stoicism got lost in the wilds and he started laughing along with her.

All the while Dolores held the Froggy affectionately to her tummy, to her little tadpole, as if to show it to him and ask if he likes it.

Amidst all the laughs, the medical reports are completely forgotten until there's a soft knock on the door and Ethan looks at someone from the corner of his eye and go out to meet them.

Still, she remains blissfully unaware of her health conditions and basks in the moments of delight she gets alone with her tadpole.

Her eyes remain glued to the TV screen until the doctors come in and from the morbid faces they wore, she knew that the reports were anything but good.

She switches off the TV.

"What is it? Ethan?"

Pooja steps forward, "I want you not to worry, Dolores."

She feels a mild panic attack bursting inside her, "T-That's what people say when there is something to be worried about. Is my tadpole okay?"

Pooja sighs, "Have you heard of preeclampsia? It's a disease affecting one out of ten pregnant women. In most cases, it is manageable, if monitored properly. But in your case-"

She pauses. And Dolores knows that whatever's coming will not be hopeful.

"It's serious."

Dolores quickly asks, "How serious?"

Not too much. Not too much. Please, god, not too much. She crosses her fingers.

"The blood flow to the placenta is slowing. It could deprive your baby of vital nutrients and oxygen."

With his morbid mask matching his melancholy tone, Ethan says, "Your baby is at risk."

Shit.

"B-But I can still feel the baby kicking!" She urges them to come and feel for themselves.

"Dolores it just means the delivery needs to be done early."

"Impossible." Dolores remarks with a deadly determination. "It's too soon."

"Babies delivered at 26 weeks have a good chance of survival." Dr Sharma tries to convince her.

"A-A chance?"

She is not going to play a game of chances with her beloved tadpole, her little jewel.

They keep convincing her.

"Yes he'll have to spend some time in the N.I.C.U and there are chances of post-birth complications-"

"And some don't make it at all. Is my baby is in danger now?" She asks with a motherly force.

"No, not immediately. But-" Ethan is on his tracks to convince her again.

"Then my little tadpole is staying put."

"Dolores—"

"No, Ethan! Just...give me some time! As long as you can give me. Please" It is a request from her heart, and she is on the verge of tears.

"I give you tonight. To come back to your senses."

When they leave, Dolores cries, caressing her belly, her little tadpole in there. She cannot take a risk with his goddamn life, never ever.

Tears roll down her cheeks and she holds the stuffed frog even tighter to herself, praying to god for his magical abilities and to save her baby.

Please.

She fell asleep while crying. When she wakes up, she finds a few unknown nurses and doctors standing there.

She tries to speak but cannot form words. Her head feels light, just like it did in the office building. She could not sense anything, swallowing was trouble.

She makes random sounds and the people come rushing to her, just as her body breaks into violent convulsions.

"We need to take her to the surgery, QUICK!"

They call for a code blue and everything that happens following that is a haze to her.

They are rushing her to the surgery. Her body shakes vigorously, and she can feel that she doesn't have much time left.

She holds the doctor's hand who was rushing her to the O.R.

"N-nam-me him-m E-Ethan."

And with that, she slowly spirals down the realm of unconsciousness, the last thought to ever strike her mind was,

Little tadpole, mamma loves you. You will be okay. Mamma will always be there with you, for you.

And with that her breath leaves her body, the last tear dropping on the O.R. bed.

As Ethan Hudson sees the light of his new life, Dolores passes away into the darkness.

I love you little tadpole.

PS: Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a great day ahead! Love, Manamee🤍.

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But, when he is on the receiving end of her gaze, they also hold the capability of fogging up his mind. Making him lose focus. Making her hard to read.

It’s strange, he thinks, that he is wondering about it now, when she is staring at the sun which dips low at the horizon, sending a crimson flood over the sky. Her eyes hold the fading sunlight in the most intoxicating manner possible, and he knows he is losing himself in their depths again.

Just like he did when he was in Amazon.

When, for the first time, he went to explore the deep green profundity of calm, he felt like he was finally able to breathe again, and at the same time, not breathe at all, because his dull ache had heightened again.

Those days remain with him forever.

Isn’t that the way mind works? Sometimes, all you remember are those things which you want to forget, put back, bury away somewhere in the depths of the past.

He sighs, tracing circles onto her bare skin.

Far too many times, too many for his liking, he has tried to remember what was the last thing they talked about before he left. All that he can gather are fuzzy, blurred snapshots merged into black. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t remember.

A long sigh leaves him as she sits up, her hair tumbling past her shoulders as they lift off his chest. Almost immediately, he wants to reach for her, but he doesn’t.

Instead, he watches her silhouette bathed in gold, every bit intoxicating as she stares outside the window.

What is it like to wage a war with your own mind? Does it feel like this? Unsettling, rootless and directionless?

That’s what it feels like when he thinks about them.

He wants to give her the world, everything she deserves. A lot more than he ever thought would be possible.

But at the same time, he thinks he’ll just mess it up somehow.

Isn’t that what happened in the past?

One too many times?

The pure gold light spills onto the hardwood floor, liquid and warm, as he sits up himself, wrestling with the idea of saying something.

Maybe he is getting used to her presence now.

And yet, the intensity of emotions she can stir inside him is something he is still learning to anticipate and expect.

Being with her is like day and night.

Sometimes, it’s like knowing exactly what he wants.

And other times, it’s like fumbling about a dark cave until he finally sees the light.

It possesses a stark difference, and yet, it’s all the same.

He reaches for her hand, lacing his fingers with hers.

One thing he knows to be as true as a morning dream.

He’ll never leave her.

After all, all men don’t dream equally. Those who dream by the night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they act on their dreams with open eyes to make them possible.

And she is not a vague dream of an inky blue night.

She is his day dream.

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Notes: This was an attempt at trying to write something without dialogue, so I hope it worked well.

Thank you all for reading

Past...

Queen Eleanor had softened the rough look of the fence with her aesthetic touch. It was serendipity when Madeleine had run away, trying to play a prank on Leo one day when she had first witnessed the blossoming wall…

“Caught ya!” Leo pounced on Madeleine while she was lost in the beauty of the bloom. She lost her balance and both of them tripped and rolled down the slope to the lake. When they finally came to a halt, Madeleine’s head was a bush with a few wild flowers hanging out of her golden tangles. Leo pointed at her head and doubled up laughing. “You look like a clown! Mad Maddie!”

Madeleine frowned at him and he quickly started picking the twigs from her hair. She blushed when he tried moving his fingers through her curls like a comb. “There. Now you are all good.”

“Thank you.” She lowered her eyelashes shyly.

He cupped her cherubic face with his stubby fingers. “I am sorry I didn't mean to let you fall like that.”

Her jade eyes shone brightly, “It is fine Leo. It wasn’t your fault. I lost my balance.” She turned around to look at the calm waters. “This place is beautiful. I never saw it before.”

“Yes, Mom is trying to beautify this side of the palace. She got the hedge maze done and Liam claimed it all. She has promised me that she is going to make a beautiful lakeside garden especially for me here.” Leo boasted.

“It is so sweet of her. She loves you so much even when you are her step son.” Madeleine covered her mouth with shock as soon as the words spilled out.

Leo kept smiling, unaffected.

She tried to explain. “I am so sorry! That was not my intention. It's just that I… I have a mother but she doesn’t care.” Madeleine was almost in tears. Leo clasped her shoulders and proudly said. “It’s okay. You know, my Mom is very loving. She loves you too.”

He stood up and pulled her up along with him and beamed at her, “You can share the lake side with me. We can plant your favourite flowers here with Mom.”

“Really?” Madeleine jumped in excitement as she hugged Leo.

“Yes! Why not!” He exclaimed. "It's my special place. And I want to share it with you."

Both the kids dusted each other's clothes and rushed back to the palace to speak to Eleanor.

After a few days, Madeleine chose Hydrangea to match the blue of morning glory and they planted a row of the flowers. The next time, she got Bluebells.

“Why are you planting all blue flowers?” Leo asked her as she placed some wet soil over her newly planted shrub.

“I love the blues, they match your eyes.” She said bashfully.

“And the greens attached to them?” Leo teased.

“That is the colour of my eyes.” She gazed into his sapphire eyes and then faltered when she realised Leo was staring back at her. “They also resemble the horizon." She pointed at the other end of the lake where the row of olive groves met the firozi skies. Leo sat with her to admire the beauty of the horizon till late in the evening. They left with a promise to come back with more plans and plants.

But the warmth of their favourite little outing place didn’t last long. Their world came crashing down with Eleanor’s sudden death. Liam was too young but for Leo this was the second trauma. He lost his mother once again. Madeleine tried to alleviate his pain by doing his favourite things.

One such day, she pulled Leo to the lake side to surprise him with the new planters of Iris flowers. She chose these specially to dedicate them to Eleanor. But it brought back his mother’s memories making it more painful. He felt more hurt. Tears rolled down his burning eyes as he picked up a planter and threw it away in anger.

“Blue and green never meet.” His lakeside garden dream was shattered. “It's all false. Nothing is true. It is all flawed. Blue and green never meet! The horizon is fake. It is an illusion! Look Madeleine…” He shouted. “its an illusion! It was never true.”

He stomped away in anger. A disheartened Madeleine held herself tightly as she cried out, her cries turning into sobs and sobs mellowing down to few hiccups. As the shine of sun turned to twilight and twilight dulled down to darkness.

But she never gave up. She kept adding little shrubs and bushes of blue flowers in the memory of Queen Eleanor, till it was complete one day. Till, Leo came back with her to his garden, their garden. Till they held hands and stood quietly looking at the horizons.

Present day...

Today, she could see a stooped old figure lethargically moving in that lakeside garden. She took a deep breath. Once again she was going to remind Leo of the happier times. Once again she was going to stand holding his hand gazing at the horizons, reliving the warmth of their yesteryears.

She closed the distance, crossing the gentian blues and the phlox shrub. As she neared the back of the figure standing in the greens, her heartbeat raced. Twenty six long years! She placed her shivering hand on his shoulder. “Leo?”

The tall man turned to look at her. His face had more wrinkles than she could count. The eyes she was searching for were dull and listless. The lips that smiled once were dropped at the corner.

“Yes?” he spoke in a shaky voice. Gone was the tinker in his voice, she noticed.

“How are you?” Madeleine knew better to keep her calm and continue the conversation.

“I am good, thank you.” He completed the formality in a monotone.

She looked down at his hands holding iris flowers at the green stem.

"You remember." She said in a whisper, her heart fluttering.

"How can I forget?" He said in a heavy voice, as if he would break down at any moment.

Madeleine tried to show support and placed her hand on his, holding the flowers.

But he suddenly snatched away. "What are you trying lady?" He yelled at her.

"Leo?" She searched his eyes. "You said you remembered?" She asked him confused.

He glared at her. "Yes. I remember. I remember Katie. How can I forget her?" He thumped his way up to the palace, mumbling incoherent words. Madeleine stood facing the serene waters while the flood from her eyes refused to stop.

The line of olive grove that met the blue sky seemed to be hazy and it faded completely, as the sun went down.

A voice echoed from over the surface of the lake. "Look Madeleine! The horizon is fake. It is an illusion! it was never true."

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